老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E12

Part 4 June 18, 2021, 10:20 a.m.

但但不是真的枪对吧
But -- But not a gun, right?
比那还棒
Better.
我们让雷恩斯棍子成为一种沟通的方式
We made the Raines Stick as a way to communicate.
规则很简单
The rules are simple.
拿着棍子的人必须谈谈他们的感受
Whosever holding the stick has to talk about their feelings.
我们在干预和家庭治疗中
Oh, that's actually a real group exercise
真的会用这种集体练习
we use in, uh, interventions and family therapy.
哭泣得3分喊叫扣2分
You get three points for crying, minus two for yelling,
如果你责怪你妈妈你就没机会了
and you lose your turn if you blame your mother.
在治疗中责备母亲是一种突破
Well, in therapy, we call blaming your mother a breakthrough.
你刚扣了30分
And you just lost 30 points.
-该死 -你好胜心怎么这么强
- Damn it! - Why are you so competitive?
我不知道应该是怪我
Oh, I don't know. I blame my --
算了
Never mind.
来我家
My place.
莱恩我们必须去
Lane, we have to go.
好奇怪的家庭
What a weird family.
-来我家 -不
- My place. - No.
你不能拒绝雷恩斯棍子西莉亚
You can't say no to the Raines Stick, Celia.
那当然了
Of course you can't.
欢迎来到第一个洛杉矶雷恩斯棍子圈
Welcome to the first Los Angeles Raines Stick circle.
我制定一些基本规则
I'm gonna lay out a few ground rules.
除非你是记分员也就是我
Unless you're the scorekeeper -- that's me --
除非你拿着棍子否则不许说话
there's no talking unless you're holding the stick.
-我也能当记分员吗 -不拿棍子不许说话
- Can I be scorekeeper, too? - No talking without the stick.
这不是游戏
This isn't a game.
那为什么会有记分员呢
Then why is there a scorekeeper?
好吧我先说
Okay, I'll go first.
我想你们都知道游戏之夜
I think you all know how important game nights
星期天晚饭和所有的假期对我有多重要
and Sunday dinners and all the holidays are to me.
我们可以保持联♥系♥ 保持亲密
That's what keeps us connected, keeps us close,
我还没准备好放弃其中的一些
and I'm not ready to give some of them up.
所以我只想说
So I just want to say that I'm willing to
我愿意让你们和西莉亚的家人过另一个假期
let you guys spend another holiday with Celia's family,
但是圣诞节要跟我过
but I'm keeping Christmas.
我能拿那根愚蠢的棍子吗
Okay, can I have the stupid stick?
你侮辱棍子就得扣两分
You lose two points for insulting the stick,
但是请吧
but go ahead.
谢谢
Thank you.
简我们几乎每天都能见到你
Jean, we see you practically every day.
这样很好
And it's great.
我很开心你让我成为你家庭的一部分
I love that you've made me a part of your family.
我只想让我的家人也可以接触弗雷迪
I just want my family to have the same opportunity
让他成为我们家庭的一部分
with Freddie -- to make him a part of ours.
我很抱歉但你得习惯这样一个事实
And I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to get used to
从现在起我们必须共享一些假期
the fact that we have to share some holidays from now on.
所以我们要和家人一起过圣诞节
So...we are spending this Christmas with my family.
这由不得你了
It's not your decision.
对不起
Oh, sorry.
但圣诞节怎么可能由不得我呢
But how could Christmas not be my decision?
我是圣诞老人
I'm Santa.
好吧弗雷迪保证从现在开始
Okay, Freddie promised that from now on,
我们会平均分配所有假期
we would split all holidays evenly.
这很公平
It's only fair.
你们就不让我当开心的假杰姬
You guys just couldn't let me be happy, fake Jackie.
和尼克相处很好的开心假杰姬
Happy, fake Jackie was doing great with Nick.
每晚都和尼克做♥爱♥的开心假杰姬
Happy, fake Jackie was making love with Nick on a nightly basis.
杰姬得1000分
1,000 points for Jackie.
我什么都不想说但我打算
I wasn't gonna say anything, but I was planning on
带大家去夏威夷过圣诞节
taking everyone to Hawaii for Christmas.
-妈妈 -我要死了
- Mom. - And I'm dying.
别开玩笑了
Don't even joke!
-我怀孕了 -简
- And I'm pregnant. - Oh, Jean.
好吧
Okay, fine.
轮到我了好吧
Oh. My turn. Wow. Uh, okay.
我我更习惯于
I'm, uh -- I'm more used to facilitating
促进这些练习但是
these kinds of exercises, but, um,
我可能需要一分钟来确认我自己的感受
might take a minute for me to check in with my own feelings.
让我想想
Um, whoa, let me see.
让我想想
Let me see.
首先我要感谢你们邀请我来这里
I think, first, I'd like to thank you all for having me here.
这个有时间限制吗
Is there a time limit on this?
-没有下一个 -我不想说
- No. Next. - I don't want to.
你拿着棍子必须说
You've got the stick. You've got to talk.
也不是吧
Well, that's not entirely true.
丹尼你没有棍子
Danny, you don't have the stick.
好吧
Okay, um...
我想和西莉亚组建一个新家庭
I'm trying to start this new family with Celia,
但是我感觉到我以前家庭的各种压力
but I'm feeling all kinds of pressure from my old family.
一个成员的压力
Well, one member.
-他在说我 -你没拿棍子
- He's talking about me. - You don't have the stick.
丹尼我不会再警告你了
Danny, I'm not gonna warn you again.
西莉亚我想和你一起过圣诞节
Celia, I want to have Christmas with you.
妈妈我也想和你一起过圣诞节
Mom, I-I-I want to have Christmas with you, too.
瞧每个人都在生我的气太难受了
See? Everyone is mad at me, and this sucks!
我好像没搞懂
I don't think I really understand.
说说你的感受就好
Just tell us how you feel.
不我明白这个游戏
No, I understand the game.
这不是游戏
It's not a game.
我不明白的是你们为什么
What I don't understand is why you guys
把所有的时间都花在争论
spend all of your time together arguing
什么时候才能有更多的时间在一起
about when you'll get to spend more time together
而不是享受你们在一起的时光
instead of enjoying your time together.
这是在浪费时间
It's a waste of time.
我已经四年没见我兄弟了
I haven't seen my brother for four years,
知足点吧珍惜各自拥有的一切
so get over yourself and appreciate what you have,
因为这一切都有可能被夺走
'cause it could all be taken away from you.
被我夺走如果你们可以换个游戏
By me, if you make me play another game.
这游戏太操蛋了
This is a damn game!
瞧
See?
圣诞节可以是任何一天
Christmas can be any day you make it.
你说得对小饼干
Aww, you're right, Cookie.
我们什么时候庆祝并不重要
It doesn't matter when we celebrate,
只要我们在一起
as long as we're together.
我真的很喜欢
Oh, I really like this.
感觉像在老家过圣诞节
Feels like Christmas back home.
因为在澳大利亚我们的季节颠倒
You know, 'cause, in Australia, our seasons are reversed.
所以你们独♥立♥日在冬天吗
So you have Fourth of July in the winter?
简我们没有独♥立♥日[7月4日]
Jean, we don't have Fourth of July.
所以你们3号♥后面就是5号♥吗
So you just go from the third to the fifth?
我们逗你呢丹尼
Oh, we're messing with you, Danny.
圣诞快乐妈妈
Merry Christmas, Mom.
圣诞快乐简我做了一些油煎饼
Merry Christmas, Jean. I made some buñuelos.
这是甜甜圈和带馅煎饼的结合
They're like a cross between a doughnut and a beignet.
我的祖母经常在圣诞节做这个
My Abuela always makes them at Christmas.
这个几乎和你的布朗尼一样好吃
They're almost as good as your brownies.
如果你觉得我的布朗尼就叫好吃了
Oh, well, if you think my brownies are good,
那你应该尝尝我的圣诞饼干
you should taste my Christmas cookies.
明年吧
Next year.
因为我们每隔一年过一次对吗
Because we're going to do every other, right?
是的妈妈我们签了餐巾合同
Yes, Mom, we signed the napkin-contract.
伙计们我和尼克来了
Hey, guys, Nick and I are here.
是的没错我们还在一起
Yeah, that's right. We're still together.
他知道我失业了
He knows I'm unemployed,
而且只能在卧室看到假杰姬
and the only time he sees fake Jackie is in the bedroom.
我没意见
And I'm okay with that.
好吧伙计们
Okay, guys.
我甚至给他看了我的塔可钟纹身
I even showed him my Taco Bell tattoo.
你说什么来着尼克
And what did you say, Nick?
我先开了个他们口号♥的玩笑说要跳出汉堡的框框
Uh, well, first, I made a joke about thinking outside the bun.