老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E10

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 4:30 p.m.

非常感谢
Don't mind if I do.
这只是橙汁
This is just orange juice.
为什么要用香槟杯太不尊重它了
Why put it in a champagne flute? That's just mean.
别担心
Don't worry.
孩子们出去买♥♥香槟了
The kids are out buying the champagne.
你马上就要回家了我们每天都要庆祝
You're going home soon. We have to celebrate every day.
是啊所以我们应该好好放纵一下
I know. That's why we should blow it out.
我们这个周末去拉斯维加斯吧
Let's go to Vegas this weekend.
天哪太好了
Oh, my God. I'd kill to go to Vegas.
我一直很想去M&M世界
You know, I've been dying to go to M&M World.
但我不能坐飞机去拉斯维加斯我有孩子要抚养
But I can't jet off to Vegas. I've got children to raise.
那些孩子现在在哪呢
And where are those children right now?
在酒铺
At the liquor store.
好吧但我是来照顾他们的
Okay. But I came out here to take care of them.
他们需要我
They need me.
这个周末他们不需要你
Well, they don't need you this weekend.
我需要我50多岁了
I do. I'm in my 50s!
我不能一个人
I can't suck tequila shooters
从奇本德尔的肚脐里吸龙舌兰酒
out of a Chippendale's belly button alone.
那也太可怜了
That would look sad.
还能这样吗
They let you do that?
我不知道但我要试试
I don't know if they let me, but I'm gonna!
听起来确实很有趣
It does sound fun.
也许对妈妈来说有点太过了
Maybe too fun for a mom?
简
Oh, Jean.
我们只有现在才能放纵
This is the only time we get to have fun.
我们已经把孩子养大了父母还不需要我们
We're done raising our kids, our parents don't need us yet,
这个年纪还可以疯一把
and we're still young enough to get our freak on!
现在就是我们的甜蜜点
This is our sweet spot!
你有爽健的脚垫吗
Do you have any Dr. Scholl's foot pads?
我听说要走不少路
'Cause I hear there's a lot of walking.
你说得对不趁现在更待何时
You know what? You're right. If not now, when?
现在是工作的淡季
It's off-season at work.
孩子们现在看起来很稳定
The kids seem stable for the moment.
我父母在游船上
My parents are on a cruise.
我加入
I think I'm in!
我们能去看巴里·马尼洛吗
Can we go see Barry Manilow?
不能但我们可以看完再约
No, but we can meet up after.
抱歉我们耽搁这么久但你们猜不到我们遇到了谁
Sorry we took so long, but you'll never guess who we ran into.
尼克·哈珀高中同学
Nick Harper, from high school.
是啊尼克
Oh, yeah. Nick.
你是不是喜欢过他杰姬
Isn't he the one you had a crush on, Jackie?
什么哪有
What? No.
天哪妈妈你也太离谱了
God, Mom. Way to be cool.
-嗯弗雷迪现在喜欢上他了 -我没有
- Yeah. Well, Freddie has a crush on him now. - I do not.
他向你问好然后你说"我也想你"
He said hi to you, and you said, "I miss you, too."
尼克最近在忙什么
Well, what's Nick up to these days?
他太棒了
Oh, he's amazing.
他几年前搬到这里来了
He moved out here a few years ago.
他有个应用大赚了一笔
He made it big on some app
这个应用可以让你在聚会上雇佣长得像名人的人
that lets you hire celebrity look-alikes for parties.
"替身"
Twinsies.
我就是靠它在生日派对上请来了LL·酷J
That's how I got LL Cool J at my birthday party.
LL·酷K
Well, LL Cool K.
某家科技公♥司♥买♥♥下了它他兑现了
Well, some tech company bought it, he cashed out,
现在他把时间花在慈善事业上
and now he just spends his time doing charity work.
既然我一无所有
And since I have nothing in my life,
我不得不撒谎告诉他我上过《顶级厨师》
I had to lie and tell him I was on "Top Chef."
上一季得了第三名
I finished third last season.
既然要撒谎为什么才得第三啊
Well, if you had to lie, why did you finish third?
本来是我赢的但是有政♥治♥问题
I would have won. It's all political.
干个杯吧
How about a toast?
与老朋友重新联♥系♥
To reconnecting with old friends,
有朋友来访还有我去拉斯维加斯干杯
to having friends visit, and to me going to Vegas.
我和莎伦要去拉斯维加斯
Sharon and I are going to Vegas!
没事的里面有酒
No, it's okay. There's booze in it.
我不会骗你只喝果汁的
I wouldn't trick you into drinking just juice.
不我现在不能喝酒
Oh, no. I'm not really supposed to be doing alcohol right now.
-我们还有咖啡 -也不能喝咖♥啡♥因♥
- We have coffee. - No caffeine either.
不用管我继续吃早午餐吧
No, I'm good. Keep brunching.
是的各位请随意
Yes, everyone. Help yourself.
莎伦可以过来一下吗
Sharon, can I see you for a minute?
莎伦
Sharon.
不喝酒
No alcohol?
也不喝咖♥啡♥因♥
Or caffeine?
她还穿宽松上衣
She's wearing a flowy top.
你知道我在想什么吗
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
他们不应该只买♥♥一瓶香槟
That they should've bought more than one bottle of champagne.
不我觉得西莉亚怀孕了
No. I think Celia's pregnant.
老妈驾到
第一季第十集
你确定吗她看起来不像怀孕啊
Are you sure? She doesn't look pregnant.
妈我要照几张《顶级厨师》的照片放图享上
Mom, I need to "Top Chef" my Instagram
不能让尼克知道我说谎了
so Nick doesn't know I'm a liar.
拍张我在烤箱旁边的照片
Get a quick picture of me by the oven.
一定要抓拍我的美臀
Make sure you get the good side of my butt.
亲爱的那是洗碗机
Honey, that's the dishwasher.
管它呢赶紧拍她的美臀
Who cares? Take a picture of her butt.
-妈妈 -嗯
- Hey, Mom? - Yeah.
你能给我一点尼克·哈珀黄油吗
Can you hand me some Nick Harper -- Butter!
蠢货
Stupid.
我知道你的秘密
I know your secret.
我不喜欢他
I don't have a crush on him!
不我说的是孩子
No! I'm talking about the baby.
还有孩子
There's a baby?
谁的孩子
Whose baby?
不我破坏了惊喜
Oh, no. I spoiled the surprise.
什么什么惊喜你在说什么
What? What surprise? What are you talking about?
我知道西莉亚怀孕了
I know Celia's pregnant!
是吗
I am?
这就是你怀孕的样子
This is what you look like pregnant?
杰姬又赢了
Another win for Jackie.
你为什么不告诉我你有孩子了
Why didn't you tell me you're having a baby?
因为我没有
Because I'm not.
但我发现你不喝酒精和咖♥啡♥因♥
But I noticed you not drinking any alcohol or caffeine.
嗯我在排毒
Yeah. I'm on a cleanse.
我肚子里只有柠檬汁
The only thing in my stomach is lemon juice,
枫糖浆和辣椒
maple syrup, and cayenne.
我现在恶心头晕
I'm nauseous and lightheaded,
但看看我的眼球有多白
but look how white my eyeballs are.
我在喝香槟排毒
I'm on a champagne cleanse.
其实我在喝香槟松饼和熏肉排毒
Actually, I'm on a champagne, muffin, and bacon cleanse.
其实没有我只是在喝早午餐
Actually, no. I'm just having a drunk brunch.
老实说这样最好
Honestly, you guys. It's probably for the best.
你们现在还太小不能生孩子
You're too young to be having kids right now anyway.
我们不生孩子
Oh, we're not having kids.
-暂时 -永远
- Yet. - Never.
因为还没到时候嘛
Never until it's time.
不直到永远我们已经谈过了
No. Never until never. We've talked about it.
世界上人太多了孩子是拖累
The world has way too many people, and kids tie you down.
我们中的一个将不得不放弃他们的事业
One of us would have to give up their career.
有了孩子就改变了你的一生
Just having kids changes your whole life.
但是有了孩子会改变你的一生
But having kids changes your whole life.
嗯这也是一个很好的理由
Yeah. That's also a good point.
你们可能以为自己知道生孩子是什么样
You guys may think you know what having kids is,
但你们当了父母以后
but until you do it --
得到的爱
the love you get...
获得使命感
...the sense of purpose you get.
还有什么比第一次为人父母
What could be as fulfilling
更能让你们满足呢
as the moment when you first become a parent?
尼克·哈珀刚刚关注了我
Nick Harper just started following me.