老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E09

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 4:29 p.m.

莎伦你在干什么
Sharon, what are you doing?
你不是说瑜伽只对裤子有好处吗
I thought you said yoga was only good for the pants.
这不是瑜伽洛杉矶女士这是伸展
It's not yoga, Ms. LA. It's stretching.
你能看出来吧因为我身边没有
And you can tell because I'm not surrounded by girls
漂亮的女孩和邪恶的眼睛
with good bodies and evil eyes.
我只是想舒展一下我的背部
I'm just trying something to help my back.
我今早快疼死了
It's killing me this morning.
我睡姿又不对了
I slept funny again.
睡姿不对这就是你的说辞
Oh, you "Slept funny"? That's your story?
你说什么
What are you talking about?
你昨晚又来了
You did it again last night.
每次你吃安♥眠♥药♥
Every time you take one of those sleeping pills of yours,
就会上我的床
you end up in bed with me.
你在那待了半个小时
You were there for half an hour before you
然后才回你的沙发床
finally wandered back to your sofa bed.
你知道我旅行的时候很难入睡
You know I have a hard time sleeping when I travel.
只有吃药我才能睡美容觉
Those pills are the only way I can get my beauty rest.
如果你不喜欢你可以叫醒我啊
And if you were so upset, you could have woken me up.
我知道但你睡觉的时候真可爱
I know. But you're so cute when you're sleeping.
而且我很久没被抱过了
Plus, it's been a long time since I was cuddled.
雷恩斯妈妈莎伦阿姨你们介意我
Mother Raines, Auntie Sharon, do you mind if I store
放点东西吗
a few things over here?
莱恩的妈妈今天来
Lane's mom comes today,
所以我们要对公♥寓♥进行家长清除
so it's the parental purging of the apartment.
不让芭芭拉发现
We have to Barbara-proof.
等等我来的时候你没藏东西吧
Wait, you didn't hide things when I got here, did you?
没有因为你没告诉我们你要来
No, 'cause you didn't tell us you were coming.
所以我们没时间把杰姬的
Yeah, so we didn't have time to hide Jackie's
"颈部按♥摩♥器"藏在床底下
"Neck massagers" Under the bed.
莱恩那是治疗用的
Lane! Those are therapeutic.
我有重复性运动损伤
I have a repetitive motion injury.
我应该知道那个重复性动作是什么
Yeah, and I think I know what that repetitive motion is.
从俄亥俄州远道而来
So, all the way from Ohio.
你要去机场接她吗
Are you picking her up from the airport?
你要给她做个大标语吗
Oh, are you gonna make her one of those big signs
这样大家都知道你有多爱她
so everyone knows how much you love her?
这是我一直想要的
I've always wanted that.
没有标语
No sign.
她觉得我的字太乱了
She thinks my handwriting is too swirly.
她很爱评头论足
She's very judgmental.
她让西蒙看起来像宝拉
She makes Simon look like Paula.
所以我得把生活中
That's why I have to get rid of anything
所有会招来指责的东西都扔掉
in my life that would invite rebuke.
我周一回来接你
So, I'll be back for you on Monday.
你也要清除我吗
You're purging me, too?
我要清除所有人
I'm purging everyone.
我母亲有时很残忍♥的
My mother can be very brutal.
她会把你撕成碎片的杰姬
She'd tear you apart, Jackie.
为什么
Why?
就因为我是激进的单身
Just because I'm aggressively single
我的脚有问题
and I have that foot thing?
我在领英上被列为"不受欢迎"
And I'm listed as "Undesirable" On LinkedIn?
还有配对和外卖♥♥网
And Match? And Instacart?
好吧她不应该见我
Yeah, okay, fine. She shouldn't meet me.
如果我不和她分享她会觉得不对的事
It's just easier if I don't share anything
这样会轻松一些
with her that she can find fault with.
我甚至让维克多去棕榈泉度周末了
I even sent Victor to Palm Springs for the weekend.
他很完美哪怕这样
He's perfect, and she'd probably even
她都有可能发现他的问题
manage to find something wrong with him.
这是布鲁诺·马尔斯的浴帘吗
Is this a Bruno Mars shower curtain?
是的我妈妈说他的歌♥
Yeah. My mom says that his songs
是"婚前性♥交♥音乐" 所以必须藏起来
are "Premarital intercourse music", so he had to go.
简这浴帘就算粘在我身上
Ooh, Jean, this is one shower curtain
我也不会生气的
that wouldn't make me mad if it was stuck to me.
我妈妈15分钟后降落主啊赐予我力量
My mom lands in 15 minutes. Lord, give me strength.
如果她真的那么坏
Oh, if she's really that bad, why don't you let me
为什么不让我周末帮你招待她
help you entertain her this weekend?
我可以帮你减轻一些压力
I could take some of the pressure off you.
天啊你真的愿意吗
Oh, my God! Would you really do that?
你不是清除所有人吗
I thought you were purging everyone?
我不需要清除雷恩斯妈妈
I don't need to purge Mother Raines.
大家都爱她
Everyone loves her.
雷恩斯妈妈的乐观会抵消我妈妈的消极
Mother Raines' positivity will counteract my mom's negativity.
她是纯正的阳光
She's pure sunshine.
我是阳光杰姬
I'm sunshine, Jackie.
好吧我要去机场了
Okay. I'm off to the airport.
让我最后再看一眼布鲁诺
Let me just get one last look at Bruno.
周末我就靠这一眼了
That'll have to hold me this weekend,
因为我妈妈肯定不值得
because my mom sure won't.
老妈驾到
第一季第九集
你好啊一个炖锅按你的要求
What's up? One Crock-Pot, as requested.
谢谢
Thank you.
为了赶上明天的烤肉
I need to get this chili started if it's gonna be
我现在就得开始弄辣椒了
three-alarm in time for our barbecue tomorrow.
你带什么
What are you bringing?
带点虾
Some shrimp for the barbie?
天啊
Oh, boy.
除了你真是谁都不放过啊
Wouldn't let anyone get away with that but you.
一切都好吗
Is everything all right?
你在我的地♥产♥上受伤了吗
Did you injure yourself on my property?
简签了弃权书哦
'Cause Jean signed a waiver.
只是我的背
Oh, it's just my back.
这张沙发床不怎么样啊丹尼
This sofa bed is bad, Danny.
你不会买♥♥啊
You did a bad job buying it.
她很暴躁
She's cranky.
你有个房♥间没人
Hey, you have an empty room.
你介意莎伦去你那
Would you mind if Sharon stayed over there with you
-住几晚吗 -没问题
- for a few nights? - Yeah, sure.
我家永远欢迎她
She's always welcome at my place.
太好了邪恶的沙发床归我了
Oh, great. I get the evil sofa bed.
我的背不重要
My back doesn't matter.
我又不用去上班也不用交男朋友
It's not like I have to go work, or have a boyfriend.
反正我整晚都会醒着自怜自哀
I'm awake all night hating myself anyway.
亲爱的你不用这样
Oh, sweetie, you don't have to do that.
我要去见莱恩的妈妈顺路把你送到弗雷迪家
I'll drop you off at Freddie's on my way to meet Lane's mom.
你可以待在那里
You can stay there.
我把我的行李箱放丹尼那儿吧
And I guess I'll take my suitcase over to Danny's.
我已经开始想你了
Oh, I miss you already.
我也想你
I miss you, too.
她就在院子对面
She's just across the yard.
问问丹尼我能不能晚点过去
Ask Danny if I can come over later.
丹尼简能晚点过去吗
Danny, can Jean come over later?
请不要拒绝
Please don't say no.
现在是什么情况
What's happening right now?
可以
Okay.
-他答应了 -他答应了
- Oh, he said yes! - He said yes!
但十点后不许吃糖
But no sweets after 10:00.
你为什么跟我们说这种话
Why are you talking to us like that?
我们是成年人了丹尼
Yeah, we're adults, Danny.
他们给了我自己的办公室
Look, and they're offering me my own office
还有我自己的停车位
and my own parking spot.
太激动了
Ooh, that's so exciting.
我可以早上给你做早餐
I could make you breakfast in the morning,
然后你可以穿上西装去上班
and then you could put your suit on and go off to work,
然后你就会消失一整天
and then you'd just be gone...all day.
你真觉得我得穿西装吗
You really think I'd have to wear a suit?
别想你穿的是什么
Don't think about what you're wearing.
专注于消失一整天
Just focus on being gone... all day.
对不起同居需要时间来适应
Sorry. Living together takes some getting used to.
当两个人在家工作时
And when two people work from home,