老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E13

Part 2 June 18, 2021, 10:20 a.m.

什么没有
What? No.
洛杉矶是一次冲动的旅行
L.A. Was an impulsive trip.
半杯红酒几件胸罩
Half a glass of wine, couple of bras,
未完成的拼图
unfinished jigsaw puzzle.
这一定就是发现庞贝的感觉
This must be what it felt like to discover Pompeii.
《一人之爱发现寡妇的自我》
"Sex For One: Discovering the 'I' in Widow."
那是恶作剧礼物
Oh, that was a gag gift.
里面有书签
There's a bookmark in it.
用这种方式说"闭嘴" 真有意思
That is a fun way to say "Shut up."
我们还有别的乐子
You know, there's other fun we could have.
我们好几个月都没有过现在终于有机会了
The kind we haven't had for months that we finally get to have.
如果不是酸奶
Oh, that would have been so sexy
那就太性感了
if one of those things hadn't been yogurt.
现在带我上♥床♥ 否则永远失去我
Now, take me to bed or lose me forever!
我喜欢性感的威胁
I love a sexy threat.
怎么了
What's wrong?
有没干的酸奶吗
Is there a wet spot from the yogurt?
这是麦克吗
Is this Mike?
天啊丹尼我真的很抱歉
Oh, God, Danny. I'm so sorry.
显然我离开的时候没打算带男人回来
Obviously, I wasn't planning on bringing a man back when I left.
拜托简我知道你结过婚
Please, Jean. I-I know you were married.
我只是只是措手不及仅此而已
I just, uh -- It just caught me off guard, that's all.
我没事我没事
I'm good. I'm good.
要我把它转过去吗
You want me to turn it around?
-求你了 -好的
- Please. - Okay, yeah. Yep.
你养狗
Oh, you have a dog?
养过
Had.
露西
Lucy.
-没事了吧 -还有一个问题
- You okay now? - One more question.
那是人吗
Is that anyone?
不那只是个花瓶
Oh, no. That's just a vase.
-那我就没事了 -好的
- Then I'm good. - Okay.
他已经朝她开枪了
H-He already shot her.
为什么还要开车撞她
Why does he need to run her over with his car?
他得打断她的骨头让她更容易被塞进棚屋
Mm, he has to break her bones so she's easier to stuff in a shed.
-每次都有棚屋 -每次都有棚屋
- It's always a shed. - Always a shed.
我们到底在看什么
What the hell are we watching?
《凶残恋人》
"Murderous Lovers."
但我们为什么要看呢
But why are we watching it?
这剧太可怕了
This show is horrible.
世界不该是这样的
This is not the way the world should be.
他为什么要杀那个可怜的女孩
Why would he kill that poor girl?
他们订婚了
They were engaged.
我觉得这就是他这么做的原因
I think that's why he did it.
撞一个人四次比分手容易多了
Running someone over four times is easier than just breaking up.
-要薯片吗 -你怎么能吃得下
- Chips? - How can you eat?
你们这些人太奇葩了
You people are broken.
你们真的不觉得奇怪吗
You guys, you really don't think it's weird
妈妈就那样带着丹尼出城了
that Mom skipped town with Danny like that?
我和西莉亚都要结婚了
I mean, I haven't even been to the Valley with Celia,
还没去过山谷呢
and we're getting married.
你觉得他们会结婚吗
Do you think they're gonna get married?
丹尼会收养我们吗
Would -- Would Danny a-adopt us?
-什么 -我
- What? - I'd be --
我就是弗雷迪
I'd be Freddie, uh...
等等丹尼姓什么
What -- Wait, what's Danny's last name?
你怎么会不知道丹尼姓什么
How can you not know Danny's last name?
是
It's...
莱恩你会听妈妈说话丹尼姓什么
Lane, you listen when Mom talks. What's Danny's last name?
好吧首先每个人说话我都会听
Okay, first of all, I listen when everybody talks
因为我善于交际
because I'm a people-person.
善于交际的人就是这样
That's what people-people do.
其次他姓
Second of all, it's, um...
杰克曼
Jackman?
基德曼
Kidman?
海姆斯沃斯
Hemsworth?
所以你也不知道
So you don't know, either?
所以我们对这个人一无所知
So none of us know anything about this guy.
我觉得是因为他总是把话题转回到我身上
I think it's because he always turns the conversation back on me.
-我真的很喜欢他这点 -但他为什么要这么做
- I really like that about him. - But why does he do that?
我觉得因为他是心理医生吧
I always thought that was the therapist in him.
是啊
Yeah.
也许这是他杀人的本性
Maybe it's the killer in him.
因为你太自私
So you think Danny's a killer
不问丹尼的私生活你就认为他是凶手
because you're too self-absorbed to ask about his personal life?
我只是说一个我们不知道名字的人
I'm just saying, a dude whose name we don't know
跟我妈约会了一个小时就带她出城了
got our mom to skip town with him after dating her for like an hour.
你说话越来越像这剧里面的人了
Okay, you're starting to sound like the people on this show.
这部剧讲的是人们被谋杀
The show where people get murdered
因为他们和只约会过一个小时的男人出城
because they skip town with guys they've only dated for like an hour?
想我了吗
Hey, did you miss me?
想我了吗
Hey, did you miss me?
抱歉飞机起飞后我的耳朵就一直堵着
Sorry, my -- my ears haven't popped since the plane.
你真漂亮
You look beautiful.
再来杯香槟吗
Do you want another glass of champagne?
你想上楼看看睡衣下面是什么吗
Do you want to go upstairs and see what's under this nightgown?
真是太想了
More than anything in the world.
真是一个完美的夜晚
That was the perfect night.
要我给你拿点早餐吗
Uh, can I get you some breakfast?
没时间了今天是莎伦的生日
Ooh, no time. It's Sharon's birthday.
我还有很多事要做
I've got a thousand errands to run.
你穿好衣服了好吧
Oh, you're dressed. Okay, um,
我穿好衣服跟你一起去
I'll get dressed and come with you.
我们可以顺道去拖拉机博物馆
Hey, maybe we can swing by the tractor museum.
丹尼你不能就这么顺道去拖拉机博物馆
Danny, you can't just swing by the tractor museum.
我是说从马拉车
I mean, the evolution from horse-drawn
到马力的进化不是一夜之间的事
to horse-powered doesn't happen overnight.
我还是自己去比较好
It's better if I go by myself.
简没事吧
Jean, is everything okay?
没事完成拼图
Yeah, yeah, fine. Finish the puzzle.
别拘束回头见
Make yourself at home. I'll see you later.
这些我都做了她怎么回事
I-I did all this. What is her problem?
寿星来了她准备好派对了
The birthday girl is here, and she is ready to part-ay!
你们上♥床♥了
You guys had sex.
你是怎么
How did you...
我总能看出来
I can always tell.
这是我的超能力
It's my superpower.
怎么样
So how was it?
莎伦绅士是不会说出去的
Sharon, a gentleman never, uh -- never tells.
得了吧你可以告诉我
Oh, come on. You can tell me.
我是你最好的朋友
I'm your best friend.
不你不是
No, you're not.
-今天是我生日 -那好吧
- It's my birthday. - Okay, fine.
你是我最好的朋友但这是你的天赋
You're my best friend, but that's your gift.
所以简和我终于
So, it's just... Jean and I finally --
你把她当玉米地一样耕种
You plowed her like a corn field.
我不会这么说
That's one way I-I would never say it.
我们做了
So we did that.
然后她就迫不及待地离开了
And then, she couldn't get out of here fast enough.
也许体验不好
Well, maybe it was bad.
我觉得还不错啊
I don't think it was bad.
男人知道个屁
The guy never does.
但如果她觉得不行她会说的
But she would say something if she thought it was bad.
女人从来不说
The girl never does.
天哪
Oh, God.
你说得对体验很不好
You're right. It was bad.
都是积攒起来的现在她很失望
Oh, it was such a build-up, and now she's disappointed.
所以她才这么快就走了
I mean, that's why she took off out of here so fast.
她都不想看我了
She couldn't bear to look at me.
我为什么要尝试新招数
Wh-- Why would I try new moves?