老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E01

Part 5 Jan. 15, 2021, 1 p.m.

不是亲热他也不是陌生人
Not making out. And not a stranger.
这是丹尼我的优秀房♥东
This is Danny, my Incredi-host.
我不想知道这是什么意思
I don't even want to know what that means.
其实只是我水瓶上的小贴纸
It's really just a sticker for my water bottle.
你是谁啊
Who are you?
我不知道
I don't know!
如果我不是你妈那我还存在吗
If I'm not your mother, do I even exist?
好吧我走了
Okay. I'm gonna head off.
很高兴见到你们俩
Uh...it's really nice to meet you both.
我听说了你们很多很多很多的事
I have heard so, so, so, so, so much about you.
我一直觉得我们应该成为一个村子的人
I always had this idea that we should be a village.
永远在彼此身边满足彼此的需要
Always here for each other if we need something.
所以我才想离你们近一点
That's why I wanted to be close to you.
但你们现在是成年人了
But you're adults now,
如果你们不愿意我也不能强迫你们所以
and if you don't want that, I can't force it. So...
你们只要知道有事打给我我立刻就到
just know that I'm a phone call away
我爱你们
and that I love you.
还有我很抱歉
And also... I'm sorry.
有时候我反应过度
Sometimes I hold on too tight
是因为我害怕失去你们
because I'm afraid of losing you,
因为你们懂的
because, well, you know.
我被自己以为要嫁的男人甩了
I got ditched by the person I thought I was gonna marry.
然后我开始和我的老板上♥床♥
I started sleeping with my boss
他老到其他人都以为我是他的护士
who's so old that people think I'm his nurse.
这种事很难在电♥话♥里说
It was hard to tell you on the phone.
要是你在我身边就好了
Maybe it would have been easier if you were here.
要是西莉亚知道
And Celia would totally leave me
我没买♥♥过袜子和最喜欢的厕纸
if she knew I'd never bought my own socks
肯定会离开我的
or favorite toilet paper.
要是你在这里的话
A-And maybe if you were here,
就可以告诉我去哪买♥♥这些东西了
you could show me where to get that stuff.
是吗她可以给你发短♥信♥啊
Really? I feel like she could text you that.
别破坏我和老妈的氛围
Stop ruining my thing with Mom!
我可以多待一阵
I could stay a while.
这样真是太好了
I like this.
嗯
Yeah.
不过你可以学学敲门
Maybe you could learn to knock, though,
不要直接进来
you know, instead of just walking in.
在洛杉矶待了两天
Two days in Los Angeles
你就和陌生人亲热
and you're making out with a stranger
还有心理医生了
and you got a therapist?
是啊买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥
Yeah, it was kind of a two-for-one deal.
你懂的这是我的最爱
You know how much I love those.
而且我们没有亲热
And we didn't make out.
我们差点就接吻了
We almost kissed.
简妮咱俩是高中同学
Jeannie, I went to high school with you.
咱俩都知道"差点接吻"基本上就算成了
We both know an "Almost kiss" is a light beer away from antibiotics.
你什么时候回来
When are you coming back?
还不确定
I don't know yet.
他们需要我
They need me.
如果我四天不给你打电♥话♥
If I don't call you for four days,
你会来爱荷华看我吗
will you come check on me in Iowa?