老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E08

Part 4 April 16, 2021, 4:29 p.m.

压压饿吧
Just to tide you over. Okay.
下一个是谁杰姬你来吧
Okay, who's next? How about Jackie goes?
好的妈我没给你准备礼物
Okay. Mom, um, I didn't get you a gift,
不过我给你写了张贺卡
but I wrote you a card.
后果将惨不忍♥睹
This is gonna be so bad.
妈你知道我这一年过得很不容易
"Mom, as you know, it's been a tough year for me,
所以我没钱给你准备生日礼物
so I didn't have a lot to spend on your birthday gift.
我经历了2次分手
Two relationships have ended,
还辞了职所以我没钱
I quit my job, so I have no money."
至少她没有唱出来
At least she's not singing it.
房♥间很小我听得见
Okay, it's a small room. I can hear you.
你穿越了大半个国家来
"You moved halfway across the country to make sure
确保我和弗雷迪平安健康过得开心
Freddie and I were safe and healthy and happy,
一开始我不太确定我会是什么感受
and at first, I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
不过在这段时间里我本应倍感孤独
But in this time when I could have felt really alone,
但我没有因为你一直在我身边
I haven't, because you've been with me.
我无法送你一份礼物
I may not be able to get you a gift,
不过我们共度的时光于我而言是一份礼物
but our time together has been a gift to me.
请你再也不要离开我
Please don't ever leave.
生日快乐我爱你
Happy birthday. I love you."
这都行我得赶紧去拿我的礼物
That worked? I got to get my gift!
太感人了宝贝
It's just beautiful, sweetie.
这礼物太完美了
The perfect gift.
你在哭吗
Are you crying?
失陪一下
Excuse me.
妈你快看
Hey, Mom. Look.
我给你买♥♥了台75寸的电视
I got you a 75-inch TV.
800万像素呢
It's got 8 million pixels.
电视谢了宝贝
Oh, a TV. Thanks, honey.
-对啊 -我去去就回
- Yeah. - I'll be right back.
妈别走啊
Mom, no!
这电视是800万像素的妈
It's got 8 million pixels! Mom!
你那贺卡能不能算作我们俩合送的
Any chance that card came from both of us?
你想得美
Oh, no.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
我好得很你回你的派对吧
I'm fine. Get back to your party.
别这么说你从不轻易落泪的
Oh, come on. You never cry.
几乎没见过
Like, never.
我意思是跟你一起去参加葬礼会很怪
I mean, it's weird to go to funerals with you.
出什么事了
What's happening?
无事发生我好得很
Nothing's happening. I'm fine.
你自从到这以后就没好过
You haven't been fine since you got here.
感觉你是不遗余力想毁掉这个派对
It's like you've been trying to ruin things.
为什么
Why?
因为我在生你的气
Because I'm mad at you.
你为什么要生我的气
Why are you mad at me?
因为你不会再回到我身边了
Because you're never coming back.
我一直还抱有一丝幻想
I've been holding out hope
希望你的孩子们讨厌你
that your kids were going to get sick of you,
因为你真的很烦人
because you can be a lot.
可当杰姬念出那张又蠢又美好的贺卡时
But when Jackie read that stupid, beautiful card,
我意识到我其实已经失去了你
I realized I've really lost you.
别犯傻了莎伦
Don't be dumb, Sharon.
你没有失去我
You haven't lost me.
简你的孩子们希望你一直留在这
Jean, your kids want you here all the time.
永永远远
Forever.
你在这的新生活已经开始了
You're building a life here.
你有了一个预备男友和一个预备继女
You got a pre-boyfriend and a pre-daughter-in-law.
我们都跳了40年的矮胖舞了
And we have 40 years of Humpty dances
双双去约会又双双扑空
and double dates and can't-get-dates
你都扮演了我老婆
and you pretending to be my wife
所以我生杰姬时你才有资格在产房♥陪我啊
so you could be in the delivery room when I had Jackie.
可万一我们各奔东西了呢
But what if we drift apart?
不会的
That can't happen.
你见证了我是如何遇见并嫁给了我老公
You were by my side when I met, married,
最后又埋葬了他的历程
then buried my husband.
那天晚上可太妙了
It was a hell of a night.
对不起我忍♥不住
I'm sorry, I had to.
不毒舌几句我又要哭出来了
Otherwise I was gonna start crying again.
你是我最好的朋友
You're my best friend.
没有你就没有我
I'm nothing without you.
是你成就了我
You made me.
是我
I did.
-雷恩斯妈妈 -什么事
- Mother Raines? - Yeah.
你准备好收我的礼物了吗
Are you ready for my birthday present?
有你在这真好
I'm glad you're here.
我也是
Me too.
雷恩斯教母我想搞点特殊的
Mother Raines, for your birthday,
来庆祝你的生日
I wanted to do something special.
所以我写了一首歌♥来体现你对我有多重要
I wrote you a song to try to capture how much you mean to me.
这是首关于亲情爱情友情
It's a song about family, love, friendship,
还带了一丁点世界和平的歌♥
peace on Earth for a little bit,
不过我把那段剔除了
but then I took that part out.
出自是我的新专辑《漫漫人生路》
It's off my new album, "Life in the Lane Lane."
*人们如此形容集体之爱*
*You know what they say about love in groups*
*是你的家庭和你选择的另一半*
*It's the family you have and the one you choose*
*你有一儿一女当然了我也属于你*
*Got a daughter and a son, but I'm yours, too*
*这么多人都在支持你*
*Oh, so many people behind you*
*你也在陪伴他们*
*That you've been giving your time too*
*让我为你做一件事吧*
*Let me do something for you*
*就一次*
*For once*
*让我为你做一件事吧*
*Let me do something for you*
*不仅仅停留在言语上你值得太多*
*Not just words, there's so much you deserve*
*坐那别动*
*Just sit there*
*让我为你做一件事吧*
*Let me do something for you*
*今天的主角就是你*
*It's your day*
太棒了
Yes!
这是我有生以来收到的最棒的生日礼物
That's the best birthday present I've ever gotten.
我知道
I know.
这混♥蛋♥秒杀了我们的礼物
The bastard smoked us.
至少我没花一分钱
At least I didn't spend any money.
开胃菜来了
The side dishes are served.
顾客服务
Customer service.
顾客服务
Customer service.
客服
Representative.
客服
Representative!
救命救命
Help! Help!
你干嘛呢
What are you doing?
我在改航♥班♥
Changing my flight.
又不是只有你一个人过生日
You're not the only one with a birthday, you know.
我估计我得在这待到我的生日了
I thought I'd stick around till mine.
这样你才能带我上《猜对价钱》
Let you take me to "The Price is Right."
可你的生日还有一个月才到
But your birthday's not for a month.
行吧你要是不需要我
Oh, okay, if you don't want me...
真的吗一整个月
Really? A whole month?
我需要你
I want you!
说好了就一个月
Okay, only one month,
之后我就得回吐娜·菲了
then I got to get back to Tuna Fey.
不过我的生日月现在就开始了
But I think my birthday month starts now.
*我叫矮胖子*
*My name is Humpty*
若干意思是占位符
*以若干结尾*
*Pronounced with a "Umpty"*
*女士们我可太喜欢这个放克节奏了*
*Yo, ladies, oh, how I like to funk thee...*