老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E04

Part 3 March 1, 2021, 10:32 a.m.

Oversleeping, late for work,
没做作业
I didn't do my homework.
我骗谁呢我不是茱莉亚·罗伯茨
Who am I kidding? I'm not Julia Roberts.
我是艾力克·罗伯茨
I'm Eric Roberts.
我不能穿成这样去上班
I can't go to work like this.
没事的只要把你的裙子拽平整
You'll be fine. We just have to, um, smooth out your dress...
-嗯 -还有
- Yeah. - ...and, um,
蓬松头发
fluff up your hair...
给你拿双鞋
and, uh, get you some shoes.
-好 -你需要鞋子
- Okay. - You need some shoes.
好的好的天啊
Okay. Okay, oh, gosh.
康纳我看了你的成绩单
So, Connor, obviously I've been going over your transcript
和考试成绩
and test scores
还有法♥院♥强制的社区服务
and...court-ordered community service?
都在这里
And they are all here.
先不管这些文件夹了
But let's look past the folder.
不如你自己来说说
Why don't you tell me, in your own words,
你能提供什么
what you think you have to offer?
这不是你的工作吗
Isn't that your job?
没错简那是你的工作
That's right, Jean. That is your job.
不如你跟康纳稍微说说
Why don't you tell Connor a little bit about
大学申请程序
the college application process?
根据我大量的阅读
Well, based on my extensive reading,
大学申请过程很像
the college application process is a lot like the...
这个
the...
《沙地传奇》
the movie "The Sandlot."
大学就像是
And, um, college is a lot like an...
上面有亲笔签名的棒球
autographed baseball.
它只对某些人来说更有价值
It's more valuable to some people than to others.
然后
And then...
一只大狗把它毁了
A giant dog destroys it?
是吗
He does?!
继父会大发雷霆的
The stepfather's gonna be furious.
康纳你拿着这些钱
Tell you what, Connor, how about you take this money
去自动贩卖♥♥机买♥♥点立体脆
and get some Doritos out the vending machine
我们重新安排一个时间好吗
and we're gonna reschedule, okay?
薯片
Chips.
我很抱歉这太不像我了
I'm sorry. This is so not like me.
我本来想早起研究康纳的档案
I meant to get up early and study Connor's file.
但我昨晚和孩子们玩得太过头了
I got carried away with my kids last night.
我这辈子从来没有睡过头的情况
I-I have never slept through an alarm in my life.
也没有老板像你这样看过我
I've never had a boss look at me the way you're looking at me.
别看我
Don't look at me.
也许我不应该雇你
Look, maybe I made a mistake hiring you.
怎么会我发誓我只是有很多事需要协调
You didn't! I swear. It's just a lot to balance.
工作和孩子
Work and children.
但我相信女人可以拥有一切
But I believe women can have it all.
简我知道我很乐观
Look, Jean, I know I'm a good time,
这可能会让你觉得我不在意
which may give you the impression that I don't care,
但我想做出点成绩
but I'm trying to make something of this place.
这对我很重要
It's important to me.
这对我也很重要
It's important to me, too.
我刚买♥♥了辆新车首♥付♥退不了的
I've just put a non-refundable down payment a brand-new car.
艾米老板不在乎
Boss Amy doesn't care.
当然很抱歉我让你失望了
Oh, of course not. I'm sorry I let you down.
我不会再犯了
I won't do it again.
我准备好了你可以看我了
Okay, I'm ready. You can look at me.
不我错了我还没准备好
Nope, I was wrong. I'm not ready.
我不看你了
I'm gonna look away from you now.
妈妈回来了
Yay, Mom's home!
衣服真漂亮你今天还穿着
Ooh, outfit so nice, you wore it twice.
你们怎么来了
What are you guys doing here?
昨晚所有的活都是你干的我们有点内疚
We felt bad you did all the work last night,
所以我们带了食材你可以给我们做千层面
so we brought ingredients so you can make us lasagna.
我把收据放在桌上了
I left the receipt on the table.
伙计们我今晚真的没法吃晚饭了
Oh, guys, I really don't think I can do dinner tonight.
我得去工作了艾米老板非常生气
I've got to get to my work. Boss Amy was super mad.
艾米朋友好像不在那里工作了
And I don't think Friend Amy works there anymore.
所以你不想和我们玩大富翁吗
Oh, so you don't want to play Monopoly with us?
金阿姨经常跟我们玩大富翁
Aunt Kim always plays Monopoly with us.
摆上
Set it up.
你在做什么现在是凌晨两点
What are you doing? It's 2:00 a.m.
我以为你是贼或者金发浣熊呢
I thought you were a burglar or a blond raccoon.
不我是夜猫子
No. I'm a night owl.
什么
What?
我差点被炒了
I almost got fired.
我昨晚没完成工作
I didn't get my work done last night.
然后孩子们今晚又来了
And then the kids came over again tonight
忽悠我玩桌游
and tricked me into playing board games.
现在他们在里面睡觉我怕吵醒他们
Now they're asleep inside, and I didn't want to wake them up.
你想去看看他们吗真是太可爱了
Want to go look at them? They're ridiculously cute.
不用了
I'm good.
简你差点被炒了
Jean, you almost got fired?
嗯没关系我在看资料了
Yeah, it's okay. I'm doing my reading now.
我觉得是时候
Hey, I think it might be time
和你的孩子设立界限了
to set up some boundaries with your kids.
但我不想和我的孩子设立界限
But I don't want boundaries with my babies.
你的孩子有工作有爱人
Your babies have jobs and lovers
还要交季度预估税
and pay quarterly estimated taxes.
你们这是越活越回去了
You're all seriously regressing.
这样对你们不健康
It's not healthy for any of you.
我不在乎我想回到
I don't care. I want to regress all the way back
他们在我身体里的时候
to when they were inside of me.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
我说我想回到
I said I want to regress all the way back
他们在我身体里的时候
to when they were inside of me.
灯不亮我也能听到
I can still hear you in the dark.
简我觉得你自己可能就有点问题
Jean, it -- it feels like you might be part of the problem.
而他们在利用你
And they're taking advantage of you.
你没读过《奉献树》吗
Have you never read "The Giving Tree?"
你最后只会剩下一个树墩
All that's gonna be left of you is a stump.
然后他们每天都会过来坐在我身上
And they'll come by and sit on me every day.
那是它的人生目标这本书很正能量
That was its life's purpose. It's a happy book.
你今天这么操蛋你的孩子还想和你玩游戏
Doesn't that bother you that, after such a terrible day,
你不觉得烦吗
your kids still expect you to play games?
没有没关系
No. It's fine.
我自己不重要我只是一个母亲
I don't matter. I'm just the mom.
我得顺着孩子
I have to take what they give me.
小树墩
Aw, stumpy...
厉害啊你醒着
Hey, good for you! You're awake.
衣服还没换
Same outfit.
两次是呼救
Twice was a cry for help,
但三次可能是就是声明
but three times might be a statement.
我整晚都在做作业
I've been up all night doing my homework.
但我都搞定了
But I got it all done.
昨晚的家庭游戏之夜超级棒
I had a great Family Game Night.
我抢到了公园广场
I got Park Place.
女人真的可以拥有一切
A woman really can have it all.
我们上车了吗
Are we in the car yet?
不还没有雷恩斯妈妈
No, not yet, Mother Raines.
不过我送你去上班吧
But, uh, let's get you to work.
我可以用手指帮你蓬松
Maybe -- Maybe run my fingers through your...
没希望算了
Not gonna happen. Never mind.
在车上我可以让你把头伸出窗外
I'll let you stick your head out of the window on the way in.
那就是自然大爆发
It'll be nature's blowout.
想听听我对康纳的计划吗
Want to hear my plan for Connor?
我想听听你对于自己的计划
I want to hear your plan for you.
你搞定了吗康纳
Are you about finished there, Connor?
那张表可以帮我
That form is just for me,
了解你想申请哪所大学
a way of getting a sense of where you'd like to apply.
你什么都没填