鬼玩人（2015）

Ash vs. Evil Dead S02E02

Part 2 Sept. 6, 2020, 5:45 p.m.

实际上阴♥道♥非常有力还充满活力
Well, actually, vaginas are powerful and life-affirming.
所以严格来说你现在比之前
So technically, you're more of a vagina now
更像阴♥道♥了
than you've ever been.
她说的对兄弟
She's right, buddy.
我为你感到无比骄傲
And I couldn't be prouder.
抱歉女士你今天要坐冷板凳了
Sorry, lady. You're riding the pine today.
巴勃罗和他的朋友坎达里安匕♥首♥先生
Pablo, and his friend Mr. Kandarian dagger,
想和你谈谈
would like a word.
不不不
No, no, no...
这不是请求
It wasn't a question.
你想拿回你的书就得这么办
You want your book back, that's how it happens.
好吧
Fine.
别乱碰我的东西就是了
Just, uh, don't touch any of my stuff.
收拾一下可以
Except to tidy up.
说真的别让她碰我的东西
Seriously, don't let her touch any of my stuff.
收拾还是可以的
Except to tidy up.
回来这里一定挺艰难的
Mm, must be hard coming back.
要面对你的过去
confronting your past,
面对你所有的过错还有糟糕的决定
and all your many mistakes, and bad decisions.
我的个老泡鸡
Holy pickle dicks,
那是莉莲·彭德格拉斯
it's Lillian Pendergrass!
什么是莉莲·彭德格拉斯
What's a Lillian Pendergrass?
就是在那里的美丽生物
That beautiful creature right there.
那屁屁我到哪都认得出
I'd know that caboose anywhere.
你是中风了吗
Are you having a stroke?
你现在是这么说但在当年
Hey, you say that now, back in the day,
莉莲·彭德格拉斯可是个火♥辣♥的
Lillian Pendergrass was a smoking hot
前体操运动员转体育教师
former gymnast turned phys ed teacher.
你知道我在说什么吗
You know what I'm talking about?
她穿着那种紧身的小聚酯短裤
She wore these tiny, little polyester shorts.
你知道在夏天的时候
You know during the summer,
当你找到了完美的逼
when you find that perfect peach?
你下一句话最好是"故事完"
Your next words better be "The end,"
否则我就要开枪打死咱俩了
or I will shoot us both.
我要先死
Me first.
我给你讲删减版吧
I'll give you the abridged version.
我在车后座干过她
I boned her in the back.
有你的
Good for you.
她要去房♥子那里
She's going to the house.
她肯定听说我回城了
She must've heard that I'm back in town.
糟糕
Oh, no!
对不起了莉莲
Well, sorry Lillian.
正事得等一等了
Tool time's going to have to wait,
因为老爹还有事情要做
because dad's got a job to do.
看起来大老爹今天在家办公了
Well, it looks like big daddy's working from home today.
那个混♥蛋♥ 又是这样
That son of a bitch. Not again.
等等又是
Wait. Again?
布洛克·威廉姆斯
有巨木[根]
call我哦
建伍县医院
你有没有想过
So, um, you give any thought
如何解释我们来这里干嘛
to how we explain what we're doing here?
放松不过是两个正常人
Relax, just a couple of regular people,
在医院闲逛
taking a stroll in a hospital.
这可是太平间医院的太平间
Morgue. A hospital morgue.
没有人会在太平间闲逛
Nobody strolls through a morgue.
我们看上去真是鬼鬼祟祟的
We look shady as fuck.
我们会被抓住关起来
We get busted, we're getting locked up.
好了
Okay.
没有人会被关起来好吗
Nobody's going to be locked up, okay?
我会像一个首赴初夜的忍♥者
I'm going to be like a ninja losing his virginity,
敏捷而不失谨慎
Quick and discreet.
你只要帮我守好门
You just guard that door.
确保没人进来
Nobody gets in.
好吧
Okay.
也许之前该问好是哪一个
Probably should've asked which one.
好的尸体们
Okay bodies,
书在谁那儿呢
Who's got the book?
暴殄天物啊
What a waste.
暴殄天物...
What a waste...!
快点你这烂玩意儿
Come on, you piece of crap.
我去
Fuck.
灰色
砍杀者
我得知道我是怎么了
I need to know what's happening to me.
你做了什么
What did you do?
你把我也变成厉鬼了吗
You make me evil too?
所以这根本不是我的问题
Oh, so this isn't about me at all.
那样欺骗阿什你也太淘气了
Well, it was very naughty of you to deceive Ash like that.
但我很欣赏
But I'm very impressed.
回答我的问题就好
Yo, just answer the question!
我也想但我真不知道
I would like to, but I honestly have no idea
你在说什么
what you're talking about.
不过你看上去很不高兴
You do seem upset, though.
所以坐下和我好好聊聊
So come on, sit down, and tell me about it.
我不想坐下
Yeah, I don't want to sit.
我想聊聊那本书
I want to talk about the book.
好吗
All right?
它对我做了点什么
It did something to me.
它改变了我你现在快告诉我
It changed me, and you're going to tell me
到底是怎么回事
exactly how, right now!
我们没时间说这个
We do not have time for this.
所以你现在要回答我的问题
So you're going to answer my questions, right now.
等等
Wait a minute.
王八蛋
Son of a bitch.
阿什看准了再切啊
Ash, look first, cut later.
当然
Ah, of course.
你在这里
There you are.
快出来
Come on now.
玩什么定格动画啊
What the Harryhausen?
肯定会被关起来
Definitely getting locked up.
菲戈饮料
Faygo.
拜托
Come on.
快点该死的
Come on, motherfucker!
你知道吗
Hey, you know what?
把我的汽水给我
Give me my fucking pop!
去死吧快给我
Going to jail. Give it to me!
你知道吗
You know what?
时机刚好因为你的饮料机抽风了
Great timing, because your pop machine is on the fritz.
快...给...我
Give... It... Back!
不你不是吧
Oh no, you don't.
没人可以躲过阿什利·J·威廉姆斯
Nobody hides from Ashley J. Williams.
医院这个区域禁止入内
This part of the hospital is off limits.
你为什么在这里
Why are you here?
我也可以这么问你
I could ask you the same thing.
最近镇上发生了很多怪事
There's been a lot of weird shit happening around town lately.
还有你的朋友阿什
And your friend, Ash,
他就是个怪胎是不是
He ain't a stranger to weird shit, is he?
老兄他可是怪胎之父
Dude, he's like the father of weird shit.
所以你得说得更具体一些
So, you're going to have to be much more specific.
最近发生了很多无法解释的死亡事故
Lot of unexplained deaths lately.
接着突然之间
Then all of a sudden,
你和那个蠢货就来到镇上
You and that bozo roll into town.
某人上道变侦探挺快的嘛
Someone's on the fast track to detective.
好了小机灵
All right, smart-ass.
你挡在那儿说俏皮话
You stand there, and crack wise.
我们看看验尸官有什么要说的
We'll just see what the coroner has to say.
但我敢打赌
But dollars to donuts,
他的说辞中一定会有阿什·威廉姆斯
Ash Williams will figure in his explanation, somehow.
麻烦让开
Now if you'll excuse me.
我说了麻烦让开
I said, excuse me.
不不
Oh no, no, no.