艾比酒吧

We drink together, we play Clue together.
我已经发现了
I've turned on Clue.
它就是一个永远不会进监狱的
It's a white person murder game
白人谋杀游戏
that never ends in jail time.
我们唯一意见不统一的是
The only thing we disagree on
美国音乐剧
is American musical theater.
我是正方 她站反方 除了「俄克拉荷马」
I'm pro, she is con, except for "Oklahoma!"
那部真是没人不喜欢
which you would have to be dead not to like.
-你喜欢音乐剧 -是啊
- You like musicals? - Oh, yeah.
詹姆斯 你知道大部分的爵士经典乐
Fred, did you know that most jazz standards
都来自音乐剧吗
are from musicals?
我是说 单「酒绿花红」那一个就有
I mean, Pal Joey alone has like--
比尔 认真的吗
Bill. Really?
别这样好吗 别把我的音乐剧毁了
Don't do this. Don't ruin musicals for me.
还有 为什么你要在这件事上较真
Also, why are you choosing to die on this hill?
男人的脚 太恶心了
Men's feet? They're disgusting.
我甚至都不再看我自己的脚了
I don't even look at my own feet anymore, ever.
那你洗澡的时候怎么办
What about when you're in the shower?
你还想毁掉我洗澡的美妙时光吗
You want to ruin showers for me too?
詹姆斯 说好的忠诚呢
James, how about a little loyalty, huh?
对不起 不行 艾比
I'm sorry. I can't, Abby.
我们生活在加利福尼亚
We live in California.
我的脚想开个敞篷车透透气
My feet want to drive convertibles.
贝丝 能和你说两句话吗
Hey, Beth, uh, can I speak to you for a moment?
我还剩两口「查德」酒 你快点
Ugh, I got two sips of "Chard" Left. Be quick.
好的 我们还从来没
Okay, I mean, we--we never really had a chance
有过一次很好的一对一交流呢 对吧
to have a good one-on-one chat, have we?
这壶里就剩一口了 兄弟
One sip left in the chamber, pal.
好的
Okay, um, um,
你在这里生活多久了
how long have you lived in this neighborhood?
八年了 还有就是我不会
Uh, eight years and there is no way
-给艾比投反对票的 -好的 贝丝
- I'm voting against Abby. - Okay, Beth.
你肯定相信平等 对吧
Surely you believe in equality, right?
我是说 在酒吧里只有女人能穿凉鞋
I mean, it's--it's just not fair that the women
男人不能穿这件事是不公平的
at the bar get to wear sandals and the men don't.
你是对的 比尔
You're right, Bill.
女人已经过了太久的舒服日子了
Women have had it too good for too long.
好吧 听着
Okay, look.
我是艾比的第一位顾客
I was Abby's first customer ever.
她对我来说不仅仅是个酒吧招待
All right, she's not just a bartender to me.
她是个朋友 她总会陪在我身旁
She's a friend, and she's always been there for me.
除了这些破玩意掉进来的时候
Except when it comes to these Satan balls.
艾比为什么不能把这个解决了
Why won't Abby deal with this?
我只有这一个小小的要求
I ask for so little.
你看上去太好欺负了
You do seem very easygoing.
是啊
I am.
贝丝 等等 贝丝
Beth. Wait, wait, wait, Beth.
这是我的房♥产 好吗
I own this property, okay?
所以你给我投票 我可以给你处理树的问题
So if you vote with me, I can take care of your tree problem.
怎么样 就像
What do you say, a little, uh,
「我帮你抓后面 你也帮我 互相帮助」
"You scratch my back, I scratch yours"?
你要敢碰我后面 比尔 我就叫警♥察♥
You touch my back, Bill, I'll call the police.
什么 不 那不是
Whoa! What? No. That's not--
我懂 你是喜欢走后门的那种人 对吧
I get it. You're a back guy, okay?
但我可不吃那套 兄弟 找别人吧
But that's not for me, pal, so keep cruising.
比尔 对不起 但那是不可能的了
Well, Bill, I'm sorry, but it's just not gonna happen.
只有詹姆斯一个人支持你
The only person you have is James,
投票结果四比一
so that makes the vote four to one.
斯基普弃权 当然
With Skip abstaining, of course.
快看
Well, look at this.
不 他要脱袜子了
Oh, no. No--he's going for the sock!
不
No!
不要
No--ah!
现在 等一下
Now, hold on a second.
这是一票 这算是投票
That's a vote. This counts as a vote.
斯基普投凉鞋一票 斯基普投我了
Skip has voted for sandals. Skip is with me.
不重要 四比二 我还是赢了
Doesn't matter. I still win four to two.
规则不变
Rule stays.
等等
Wait.
我要重新投 我投比尔
I'm changing my vote. I'm with Bill.
贝丝 艾比杀你时
Oh, Beth, when Abby murders you,
我能继承你的按♥摩♥浴缸吗
can I have your Jacuzzi?
感谢我们中间的叛徒
Thanks to a traitor in our midst,
我们打成了平局
we have a tie.
规章大纲47条细则上说
The tiebreaker, as outlined in Rule 47c,
用地掷球比赛一局定胜负
is a game of bocce ball.
詹姆斯 地掷球需要
Hey, James, does bocce ball require
手眼配合吗 因为
any hand-eye coordination because, uh,
我不擅长那个
I don't have that.
我懂了
I got you.
这是自乔治想改坚果拼盘后
This is the closest we got to a rule change
我们离改规则最近的一次
since George tried to change the bar nut mix.
乔治是谁
Who's George?
我们不能谈论乔治
We don't talk about George.
-贝丝 怎么回事 -我知道
- Beth, what the hell? - I know.
但比尔说他会修剪你的树
But Bill said he would trim your tree.
还有 我知道 他喜欢走后门
Also, get this. He's into backs.
那是挺劲爆的 但现在
Well, that is juicy, but right now
我们说的是你怎么能背叛我
we're talking about how you're betraying me.
这不是背叛
This is not a betrayal.
你丈夫跟你滚床单后给了你对双胞胎
Your husband having sex with you and giving you twins,
那才是背叛
that's a betrayal.
那我觉得如果每周二去掉两瓶霞多丽
Oh, so I guess it wouldn't be a betrayal
也不是背叛了
if I just removed chardonnay from Two for Tuesdays.
好吧 可以啊
Oh, well. Fine. Do it.
好的
Fine.
事实上 我随便说说的 我想要酒
Actually, I was bluffing. I want the wine!
我周二想来两瓶
I want Two on Tuesdays!
地掷球 这东西怎么玩
All right, so bocce. What's the deal here?
我应该把这些东西打进洞里吗 还是
Is there a hole I'm supposed to get these in or what?
兄弟 认真的吗 这是地掷球
Dude, are you serious? It's bocce.
我知道他们就在你长大的乡村俱乐部玩
I know they played this at your country club growing up.
你怎么知道我在
How did you know that I belonged
一个乡村俱乐部长大的
to a country club growing up?
你这身材看上去就像个白斩鸡一样
Your body just looks like it was raised on poolside chicken tenders.
现在 扔这个球 我们先练一轮
Now, just throw the ball, and we'll do a practice round.
好的
Okay.
比尔
Ju--Bill!
你把球往前滚三米就可以了
You're supposed to just roll the ball like 10 feet down the court.
我不敢相信会发生这种事
I can't believe this is happening.
比尔第一次来的时候
When Bill first showed up, you promised me
你向我保证过我不用担心
that I had nothing to worry about.
我可以相信他不会毁掉这个地方
That I could trust him not to ruin the place.
现在他却在破坏这个地方
Well, there he is, ruining the place.
中士 我想我知道问题在哪里了
Sarge, I think I know what the problem is.
是啊 我刚刚告诉你了
Yeah, I just told you.
比尔让所有人都反对我
Bill's turning everyone against me.
没有 他没有让所有人都反对你
No, he's not turning everyone against you.
是你让所有人都反对你自己的
You're turning everyone against you.
事情是这样的
Here's the deal.
你是那种「不听我的就滚蛋」类型的人
You're kind of a, um, "My way or the highway" type person,
在大多数时间 你的方法是对的
and 95% of the time, your way is great.
你开了这间酒吧 我们喜欢这个地方
It got us this bar, this place that we love.
是啊 这也可以让我不会被怪男人调戏
Yeah, "My way or the highway" Is also why no one gets hit on
他们还穿着印有「无所畏惧」的背心
by creepy dudes in No Fear tank tops.
同意
Agreed.
但少数时间
But 5% of the time,
如果你没给人们所需要的
if you're not giving the people what they need,
他们就要开始找别的方法了
they're gonna start looking for an onramp.
什么
What?
他们就「滚蛋」了 从此就不来了