艾比酒吧

Abby’s S01E04

Part 4 March 31, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

one of those drawers in the kitchen
厨房♥里还有一个冰柜
that are magically filled with ice.
堪称完美
It's perfect.
弗雷德与人同居的唯一理由
Fred, the only reason to live with someone
只能是法定结婚
is if you're contractually bound
而且即便是结了婚
by marriage, and even then,
我也一直想要搬进车♥库♥去住
I consider moving into the garage all the time.
贝丝这太荒唐了
Beth, don't be crazy.
没人说要结婚
No one's talking about marriage.
我们又不是要生小孩
It's not like we're gonna have kids.
但是
Although...
宝贝
Hey, babe?
你冰冻过卵子吗
Did you freeze your eggs?
蛋蛋表示很满意
That's a big 10-4 on the huevos.
同居
Moving in?
喊她「宝贝」
Calling her "Babe"?
说「蛋蛋」
Saying "Huevos"?
她是什么白♥痴♥
What kind of an idiot is she?
在自♥由♥女性的道路上她已经走了这么远
She's made it this far as a free woman
就因为冰冻卵子功亏一篑
and then leaves the door open by freezing her eggs?
就像临近马拉松终点时
It's like getting to mile 26,
一下回到起跑线一样
then heading right back to the starting line.
事情是这样的这么久以来他是第一次
Here's what happened. He felt the touch of a woman
对女人动心所以现在被爱情冲昏了头脑
for the first time in a while, and now he's losing his mind.
贝丝你介意
Oh, say, Beth, do you mind
艾米莉坐这儿吗
if Emily sits there?
当然介意
By all means.
那么你们认真考虑过
Hey, so, have you guys
在一起这件事吗
thought this through?
我是说
I mean, you know,
艾米莉养了一只猫对吧
Emily has a--a cat, right?
但是你对猫过敏没错吧
And you're-- you're allergic to cats, right?
针灸应该对治疗过敏非常有效
Acupuncture is supposed to be really great for allergies.
对于大多数医生我是不相信的
You know, I don't believe in most doctors,
但是针灸听起来十分可行
but acupuncture-- that sounds legitimate.
-天哪我们得走了 -没错
- Oh, boy, we gotta get going. - Oh.
不行弗雷德从没在打烊前离开这儿过
No, no, Fred never leaves before last call.
是啊但是我们要去看独角脱口秀
Yeah, but we're going to a stand-up comedy show.
脱口秀
Stand-up comedy?
他是克莱默这个角色的真人原型
It's the real guy that the character Kramer
但他显然比克莱默更好
was based on, but this guy is even better,
因为他不是种族主义者
because he's not racist!
行吧等等
Okay, nope.
不行别走
No, no, no, no.
不我想到了就是这样
No, that's it. That's it.
弗雷德你一定是没想清楚
Fred, Fred, you're not thinking straight.
你讨厌猫和单口喜剧
You hate cats and stand-up.
你曾经说过
One time, you said,
如果我买♥♥票去看单口喜剧
"If I ever pay money to go to a stand-up comedy show,
就开枪打死我因为真正的我已经死了
"Shoot me in the head, because I'm already dead
现在是外星人在掌控我的身体
and the aliens have taken over my body."
但是他不仅会讲单口相声
But this guy doesn't just do stand-up.
还会用钢琴弹奏有趣的曲子
He also plays funny songs on the piano.
他有部作品叫
He's got one called
「我们不是从夏尔出发的」
"We Didn't Start The Shire."
改编自《指环王》的电影原声
It's based on "Lord of the Rings."
这太搞笑了他在声田或者别的媒体上
That is so fun. Does he have anything
-有发布作品吗 -住嘴比尔
- on Spotify, or-- - Not now, Bill!
弗雷德你愿意接受改变
Fred, leaving your life open for change
并不代表要在一夜之间
doesn't mean changing every single thing about yourself
心血来潮改变你的所有
overnight on a whim.
心血来潮并不是艾比
On a whim? No, Abby,
我们非常认真
we are really serious about--
艾米莉走开
Emily, step off.
你是个好人但别逼我撕你
You're really nice, but I will fight you.
弗雷德这都是我的错行了吗
Fred, this is all my fault, okay?
你的人生本来就很精彩
Your life is great as it is,
我根本不该逼你作出改变
and I never should've pushed you to change,
行了吗
all right?
对不起我错了
I'm sorry. I was wrong.
你是说
You were--
你最后一句说的什么来着
what was the last part again?
我错了
I was... wrong.
艾米莉你听到她说的了吗
Emily, did you hear that?
你说的没错
Oh, you were right.
我从没想过她会承认这点
I never thought she'd admit it.
你刚刚被整了
You just got pranked.
什么
What?
我们没打算同居
We're not moving in together.
你还说要撕我
You were gonna fight me!
我只是想听你承认
I just wanted to hear you say
你错了你也承认了
you were wrong, and you said it,
所以我现在赢了二十块
and now I got $20.
没错这对我们所有人都好
Yes, it was pretty great for all of us.
住嘴比尔
Not now, Bill!
太好了不对
Grande es-- no.
西班牙语学得怎么样了
How's the Spanish coming along?
非常
Es muy ...
我只学会了这么多
It's as far as I've gotten.
这就是我让你直接点的原因
This is why I told you to be direct.
我很直接
I was direct.
就像通常我都要等到别人
I usually wait for people
求我帮忙我才帮
to ask me to do a favor.
这一次我主动了
This time, I offered.
我已经有了质的飞跃
I skipped a bunch of steps.
这样如何什么忙也别帮
How about this? No favors at all.
不去帮忙
No favors?
我必须得带点东西到餐桌上
I gotta bring something to the table.
你总不能两手空空过去吃白餐吧
You don't show up to a potluck empty-handed.
你得带上蔬菜千层面
You bring your vegetarian lasagna
和青豆因为你懂的
and your green beans, because, you know,
总会有人忘记带东西来的
somebody's gonna forget something.
詹姆斯看着我
James, look at me.
你是个猎人
You're a catch.
带上自己就足够了
You're more than enough on your own.
你唯一需要送去那张餐桌的
The only thing you need to bring to the table
只有你自己
is James.
现在就过去把她约出来
Now get back over there and ask her out on a date.
以防你乱用别的比喻
At the risk of using another metaphor,
只要记住把球打过场
put the ball in her court
其他事顺其自然就好
and let the chips fall where they may.
抱歉我刚用了两个比喻
I'm sorry. That was two metaphors.
比尔和他的钓鱼指南真是阴魂不散
Bill and his fish book are in my head.
没错我昨晚
Uh, yeah, so I finished
看完了这本书
this book last night,
然后发现它的确
and it turns out that it was
只是一本关于钓鱼的书而已
just a book about fishing.
我的天
Oh, my God.
你好艾瑞卡
Hola, Erica.
你好小詹
Hola, Jimmy.
你好吗
Como estas?
听我说
Look...
我觉得你非常漂亮
I think you're very beautiful
我想和你约会
and I want to take you on a date sometime.
这是一个假想球
Here's an imaginary ball,
现在它到了你的球场
and it's in your court now.
可以
Okay.
等等你说什么
Wait, what?
我说可以我愿意和你约会
I said okay. I'd love to go out.
我也是这简直太棒了
Me too. That's amazing.
克里斯和我分手后我很担心酒吧里