艾比酒吧

我要走了 各位
Okay, so I'm taking off, guys,
但我准备和你们全体说再见
but I'm gonna say good-bye to you as a group.
拜拜 拜拜
Good-bye, good-bye,
拜拜 不要握手 没时间了
Good-bye--no handshakes. No time for that.
拜拜
Good-bye.
比尔 我觉得龙舌兰
Hey, Bill, I think the tequila
开始让詹姆斯更有信心了
is starting to make James more confident.
你也这么认为吗 贝丝
Oh, you think so, Beth?
你觉得我更自信了
You think I'm a little more confident?
那是你自己的想法吗
You thinking that all by yourself?
我开玩笑的
I'm just messin' with you.
-这是在干嘛 -当詹姆斯喝了龙舌兰酒
- What's going on here? - When James drinks tequila,
他喜欢和所有人复杂握手
he likes to do elaborate handshakes with everyone
而那些动作只有他知道
that only he knows the moves to.
我们开始吧
Here we go. Whoa, whoa!
我们没做过任何排练
We didn't plan any of this.
感觉就像握手版爵士乐
It's like handshake jazz!
喝酒真是个好主意 我还该再喝十四杯
Shots were a great idea. I think I should have 14 more!
好的好的 但是等等 在那之前
Okay, okay, but hold on. Before that,
或许我们该谈谈那个新工作 好吗
maybe we should talk about this new job, right?
-听起来很棒 -确实很棒
- Sounds awesome. - It does sound awesome.
为什么我总是自暴自弃
Why have I been down on myself?
我工作认真 与人和善
I work hard. I'm good with people.
-我可以胜任的 -那好啊
- I can do this. - Okay, well,
听起来你是要打个电♥话♥了
sounds like you have a phone call to make.
说得没错
Damn right I do!
让道格·哈弗森接电♥话♥
Get me Doug Halverson.
告诉他我来取他的王冠
Tell him I'm comin' for his crown.
好吧 太棒了 我们帮你拨号♥吧
All right, this is great. We're just gonna dial for you.
我没按任何数字 我都不知道
I didn't hit any numbers. I don't know.
我好多年没喝苏打水了
Mm. Wow, I haven't had club soda in ages.
这些气泡直冲我大脑
These bubbles are going straight to my head.
我感觉我重回大学了
I feel like I'm in college!
理查德 我知道平静和安宁
Richard, look, I understand that peace and quiet
对你很重要
is very important to you,
我可以像你保证 我们会尽量小声
and I can promise you we will try to keep it down.
这是个文明的酒吧
This is a very civilized bar.
在这里喝酒的人都非常安静
The people who drink here are extremely quiet,
即使他们会说话 对吧斯基普
even if they talk at all, right, Skip?
他就是这么挥手的 别管那个了
That's just how he waves. Don't worry about that.
重点是 这里很安静
The point is, it's quiet.
我想我们能再观察几个星期 看看情况如何
I guess we could give it a few weeks, see how it goes.
真的吗 太好了 非常感谢
Really? That's so great. I really appreciate it.
再来杯苏打水如何
How 'bout another club soda?
你是谁 撒旦吗 好啊
Well, who are you, Satan? Okay!
伙计们 詹姆斯让我说这个的
Uh, hey, guys, James is making me say this.
现在 从艾比的门廊走进来
And now, entering from Abby's porch,
是国内航运冠军
it's the domestic shipping champion,
充气枕头的继承人
the heir to the air pillow,
包装填充颗粒
the packing peanut--
抱歉 是什么来着
Sorry. What the hell was it?
-惩罚者 比尔 -包装填充颗粒惩罚者
- Punisher, Bill. - The packing peanut punisher,
是南方航运最新的区域经理
it's Southland Shipping's newest Regional Manager,
那就是詹姆斯
it's Jaaaaames!
这还是三杯龙舌兰酒的功效吗
Hey, is this still three tequila shots?
他接受了那个工作 想庆祝
Well, he accepted the job and wanted to celebrate,
所以他又喝了两杯
so he took two more tequila shots.
然后他又喝了两杯
And then he took two more
因为第一次那两杯感觉太好了
because the first two worked so well.
看看这是谁 有名的理查德
Look who it is-- the famous Richard.
我很高兴你能来
I'm actually glad you stopped by.
有东西我一直想给你
There's something I been meaning to give you.
-是什么 -我的一点想法
- Oh, what? - A piece of my mind!
-詹姆斯 别 -你抱怨太多了 兄弟
- James, no. - You complain too much, man.
你总是告诉我们该做什么 太烦了
And we're tired of you telling us what to do all the time--
拿走你的垃圾桶 安静点
move your trash can, be quiet.
别给浣熊喂蛋卷了
Stop feeding egg rolls to the raccoons.
适可而止吧 是时候离开了
Enough is enough. It's time for you to go.
不 詹姆斯 你不需要驱逐他
No, James. You do not need to bounce him.
实际上 艾比 我需要
Actually, I do, Abby.
就像你经常说的「詹姆斯 你负责赶人
It's like you always say: "James, please bounce people.
那就是为什么你喝啤酒会打九折」
That's why you get 10% off beer."
别粗暴对我 我喝了很多酒
Do not handle me roughly. I drank a lot of liquor.
你被驱逐了 理查德
You're bounced, Richard.
你晚上九点最好关门
You had better be closed at 9:00 p.m.
邻居不想报♥警♥
The neighborhood doesn't wanna call the police,
但他们会的
but the neighborhood will.
我要快速更新下信心表
I'm just gonna update the confidence chart real quick.
詹姆斯终于驱逐人了
James finally bounces someone
就在这里
is waaaaay ooooout here.
我一生都在试图避免这种感觉
I spent my entire life trying to avoid this exact feeling
你犯了错误 就会有后果
where you make a mistake, and there's consequences.
就像蝴蝶效应
It's like the Butterfly Effect.
你踩到蝴蝶一次 你会难受一辈子
You step on a butterfly once, and you feel bad forever.
那不是蝴蝶 那不重要了
Uh, that's not what the Butterf--it's not important.
这就是为什么我要放弃那份新工作
This is exactly why I gotta back outta that new job.
詹姆斯 别这样 我知道你对待工作有多认真
James, come on. I know how seriously you take your job,
但是如果有人的电影海报被那个管子弄皱了
but if somebody's movie poster gets dented in that tube thing,
这不会是世界末日
it's not gonna be the end of the world.
会是的 一个损坏的包裹没什么
It could be! Yeah, one damaged package isn't a big deal,
错误越积越多 最终我会被开除
but mistakes add up, and eventually, I'd get fired.
那就会永远在我记录上了
And now, that's on my record forever.
没有人会雇我 我最后就会饿死
Nobody'll hire me. So I end up starving to death.
史蒂夫会吃了我
Steve eats me!
谁是史蒂夫
Who is Steve?
他是我失业时养的猫
He's the cat I got while I was unemployed.
詹姆斯 有时候在生活中你需要冒险
James, sometimes in life you gotta take a risk.
再说 你不是世界上唯一一个焦虑的人
And also, you're not the only one in the world who gets anxious.
没错 作为一个母亲 我对两个人的生命负责
Yeah. As a mom, I'm responsible for two human lives.
如果我搞砸 他们就会死 或长成混♥蛋♥
If I mess up, they die. Or become dicks.
我怕有一天我要吃
I have a fear that one day I'm gonna bite into
一个大而多汁的汉堡
a big, juicy burger,
结果它会变成一个素食汉堡
and it'll turn out to be one of those veggie ones.
不会有事的 詹姆斯
It's gonna be okay, James.
我们会处理这个理查德的事 对吧伙计们
We're gonna deal with this Richard thing, right, guys?
-对啊 -对 没错
- Yeah. - Right, right.
我们可以送他一束漂亮的花
We could just send him a nice bouquet of flowers.
没错 给 理查德 这是你的礼物
Oh, yeah. Sure. Here, Richard. Here's your present.
它会吸引蜜蜂 还长满了刺
It attracts bees, and it's covered in thorns.
如果你都做对了 你可以看着它枯死
But if you do everything right, you get to watch it die.
-我的天 -别这样
- Oh, my God! - Please...
抱歉 你们不知道有个每次都想着
I'm sorry. You guys don't know what it's like to have a brain
最坏结果的大脑是什么感觉 我讨厌它
that thinks of the worst possible outcome every time--I hate it.
詹姆斯
James...
我亲爱的詹姆斯
my sweet James.
我知道我们怎么做了
I think I know what we have to do.
但你要相信我
But you're gonna have to trust me.
告诉你们 我也很担心
You know, I worry too.
就像你们取笑我
Like when you guys make fun of me
谈论工程方面的事时
for talking about engineering stuff--
我担心自己是个讨厌的人
I worry that I'm kind of an annoying person.
没错 所有人的想法都与你刚才所说相反时
Ah, yes, the collective silence that follows
随之而来的就是集体沉默
when everyone thinks the opposite of what you just said.
我得跟你说 特里
Whew! Well, I gotta tell you, Terry,
起初我不相信你和三只狗一起长大
at first I didn't believe that you grew up with three dogs,
但你刚刚给了我太多的证据
but you just gave me so much evidence.
你知道
You know, ah...
我想 也许是到晚上这个时候
I think, uh, maybe it's getting to be that time of the night.
很棒的手表
Hey, cool watch.
我喜欢手表
I love watches.