艾比酒吧

这是怎么弄起来的
Right, so how did all this happen?
她在海军陆战队服役 阿富汗
She was in the marines. Afghanistan.
去了两次
Two tours.
退伍以后 她去做过餐厅服务员
After she got out, she did some waitress jobs,
可她不喜欢被人呼来喝去地指使
but she didn't like people telling her what to do,
所以就干起了这个
so she started this.
她很熟酒吧 她是在酒吧里长起来的
She knows bars. She grew up in bars.
她爸爸是个不可救药的酒鬼
Her dad's a degenerate alcoholic.
不过他可性感了
He's sexy, though.
他是个行走在犯罪边缘的人
He's a borderline criminal.
但有魅力 就像个身怀绝技的飞贼
But charming, like a suave cat burglar.
不过可千万别把自行车借给他
Don't loan him your bike, though.
他跟你说多少遍都别借
No matter how many times he asks.
好说 我不会把自行车借个艾比的爸爸
Okay, I won't loan Abby's dad my bike.
我知道艾比有点糙
Look, I know Abby seems kind of gruff,
可她也挺有心的
but she's thoughtful too.
我得流感躺床上的时候
When I was in bed with the flu,
她带我的儿子们去看了场电影
she took my boys to see a movie.
是《电锯惊魂》系列的其中一部
It was one of those "Saw" movies.
实际上把他们给吓坏了
Actually messed them up pretty good.
他们跟以前都不一样了...
They're, uh, different now...
但她还是挺贴心的
but still, so sweet of her.
她把我的手♥机♥给踢飞了
She kicked my phone.
手♥机♥违反了规定
Phones are against the rules.
-「规定」 -看看
- "The rules"? - Here.
酒吧有162条规章制度
The bar has 162 rules and regulations.
我都背下来了
I memorized them.
我差不多是酒吧专业人士
I'm sort of like the bar expert.
不过还是别告诉艾比我这么说过
Maybe don't tell Abby I said that, though.
真够全乎的
Wow, this is extensive.
「所有的小吃需分享」
"All tacos are group tacos."
这条是我的 我建议的这条
That was mine! I suggested that one.
我确实觉得每晚都有地方可以去很有吸引力
You know, I do see the appeal in having somewhere to go every night.
我前妻喜欢把钟爱的餐厅统称为「她的地盘」
You know, my ex-wife, she sort of claimed
我前妻喜欢把钟爱的餐厅统称为「她的地盘」
all our favorite restaurants as "her territory."
还有好多我们的朋友
Lot of our friends, also.
还有鱼
And the fish.
我们以前养了条鱼 现在变成她的了
We used to have a fish, and now it's her fish.
她把一切都夺走了 这才是我想说的
She took everything, is what I'm trying to say here.
她一定是摩羯座
She had to be a Capricorn.
她听起来挺好的
She sounds great.
你知道吗 你需要一个杯子
You know what? You need a glass.
你说什么
Excuse me?
如果你在酒吧有个座位
Yeah, if you have a seat at the bar,
你就会得到专属的杯子 就像我的
you get your own glass, like mine.
上面写着「快线系统」 还有一幅图片
It says "Fastline Systems" and there's a picture
画着一台驾驶赛车的电脑
of a computer driving a race car.
什么是快线系统
Yeah, what--what's Fastline Systems?
我不知道
I don't know.
给你
Hey, now.
维京头盔
Wow, a Viking helmet, huh?
我是凭直觉拿的
I go with my gut...
我的直觉[肠]说要拿「维京头盔」
and my gut says "Viking helmet."
我知道你叫比尔
I know your name is Bill,
但是你拿着这个杯子的样子
but when you're holding that mug,
我决定叫你斯万
I'm gonna call you Sven.
敬斯万
To Sven!
给你 真是抱歉
Here you go. Sorry about that.
我正要条件反射地说「没关系」
You know, I was about to reflexively say "It's fine,"
但我不会说的
but I'm not gonna do that
因为你的行为真的太匪夷所思了
because that was a very weird thing for you to do.
好吧 你让我走投无路了
All right, man, you--you got me backed into a corner.
你想让我求你吗 我求你
You wanna see me beg? I'll beg.
让我继续开酒吧呗
Let me keep the bar open.
这就完了
Oh, that's it?
是啊 我这相当于下跪了
Yeah. I was practically on my knees.
好吧 也许有办法解决这个问题
Okay, there might be a way to make this work.
我是个工程师 所以我相信
I'm an engineer, so I believe
所有事情都有办法解决
there's a way to make everything work.
悠着点吹工程师 小伙子
Easy with the engineer brags, buddy.
就算我考虑一下
Well, even if I were to consider it,
你们也需要做出一些改变
you would have to make some changes.
-什么改变 -只是一些基本的
- What kind of changes? - Just some basic stuff.
去申请酒类营业执照 有应急预案
You know, get a liquor license, uh, have an emergency plan,
买♥♥点商业保险 好吗
and--and just get some business insurance, okay?
-买♥♥保险干什么 -我不知道
- Insurance for what? - Oh, I don't know, uh...
看看那个玩地滚球游戏的人
okay, how about the guy playing boccie
腿上中了一支飞镖
with a dart sticking out of his leg?
放松 只扎到了肉里 没伤到骨头
Relax. It's in meat, not bone.
我坚持要你们买♥♥保险
Yeah, I'm gonna have to insist on the insurance.
而且你要把烧烤架扔掉
Also, you gotta lose the grill, obviously.
我不能「把烧烤架扔掉」
I can't just "Lose the grill."
这是酒吧里最好的东西之一
It's one of the best things about the bar.
大家围着它 做菜 交流
People stand around it. They cook, they interact--
-他们还会着火 -有时候而已
- They catch on fire. - Sometimes,
但他们不会有事的
but they're always fine.
我不会让你把酒吧毁了
I'm not gonna let you ruin the bar.
「把酒吧毁了」 这只是一些建议而已
"Ruin the bar"? It's just a couple of suggestions,
-而且我觉得 -这是滑坡效应 好吗
- and I think that-- - It's a slippery slope, okay?
我非常喜欢这个地方
I love this place too much to watch it morph
我不想看着它变成模板化的连锁餐厅
into some cookie-cutter chain restaurant.
我宁愿关门 所以大家敞开喝吧
I'd rather shut it down, so drink up, everybody!
这是艾比酒吧的最后一晚了
Last night at Abby's!
如果有人要找我 我会在我家
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my house
喝个酩酊大醉 你们不能去
getting drunk, where you can't go,
所以我希望你们不需要我
so I hope you don't need me.
而且 我在隔壁的时候
Also, when I was next door,
找到了你的手♥机♥ 斯基普
I found your phone, Skip.
我觉得已经放在那里三年了
I think it's been back there for, like, three years.
你想要吗
Do you want it?
正确答案 斯基普懂我
Right answer. Skip gets me!
真让人扫兴
It's such a bummer.
今天晚上本来应该投飞镖的
This could've been the night we got the dartboard.
投不了了 投不了了
Not anymore. Not anymore.
我们只需要走进去 然后...
All right, we just have to go inside and--
「走进去」 走进房♥子里吗
"Go inside"? The house?
这是第二条规矩
That's literally rule number two.
第一条是「不许带帽子」
Number one is "No visors",
第二条是「不许走进那个房♥子」
and number two is "No one goes inside the house."
如果我们什么都不做的话
If we don't do something,
艾比的自尊心会让这家酒吧关门的
Abby's pride is gonna get the bar shut down,
然后我们去哪儿呢
and then where will we be?
家里蹲
At home!
好吧 詹姆斯
All right. James?
别让高级工程师先生离开
Make sure Mr. Fancy Engineer doesn't leave.
是啊 不知道他那强烈的吹嘘从哪里来的
Yeah, such an intense brag out of nowhere.
我知道
I know.
「我是个工程师 我喜欢数学」
"I'm an engineer. I love math."
我知道我们不应该...
Hey, I know we're not supposed to, uh--
没事的 你们自便
It's fine. Make yourselves at home.
这里就是你的厨房♥
So this is your kitchen.
大象冰箱贴挺好看的
Cool, uh, elephant magnet.
别看我的东西
Don't look at my stuff.
好的 冷静 冷静
Okay. Cool, cool.
所以 你怎么样
So, how're you doing?
我还没有完全理解
It hasn't sunk in yet.
我想我得在体育酒吧再找份工作
I guess I'll have to get another job at a sports bar
那里的人会把墨镜戴在
where the guys wear their sunglasses on the back of their...
脖子后面
necks.
艾比 我们不能让你这样做
Abby, we can't let you do this.