艾比酒吧

一边摇着手臂 像是波西米亚领主一样
and flailing her arms like some sort of bohemian overlord.
比尔 自从我们分开后
You know, Bill, since we separated,
我去了很多地方旅游 很多很多地方
I've travelled so much. Like, a lot.
我们知道你一直在度假
We know that you've been on vacation.
不 让我说完
No, let me finish.
我想说的是 我在布拉格很寂寞
What I'm trying to say is, I was lonely in Prague,
在雅典 我也很寂寞
and I was lonely in Athens,
在罗马 其实感觉还行
and in Rome--well, that was actually okay.
但在布鲁塞尔 我开始思考
But then, in Brussels, I was wondering,
「我是不是犯了个错误」
"Did I make a mistake?"
-真的吗 -接着你就打来了电♥话♥
- Really? - And then you called me,
然后邀请我在今天来酒吧
and you invited me down to the bar today,
我也不知道 我开始在思考
and I just--I don't know, I started thinking.
-她吻了他 -什么
- She just kissed him! - What?
我看看
Let me see.
天哪
Oh, God.
也许是最后一次的吻别
Maybe he's just kissing her good-bye for the last time.
不知道啊 告个别也不用伸舌头吧
I don't know, that's a lot of good-bye tongue.
等等 他的眼睛还睁着
Wait, his eyes are still open.
我觉得他不知道该怎么接吻
I don't think he knows how to kiss.
等等 他闭上眼了 他屈服了
Wait, no, he closed them. He's giving in.
不 他又把眼睛睁开了
No, he opened his eyes again!
就好像得了让他自己变尴尬的病一样
It's like he's got a disease that makes him awkward!
莎伦最坏了
But Sharon's the worst.
比尔为什么想和她复合
Why would Bill want to get back together with her?
只是因为她很好看 而他很寂寞
I mean, just because she's pretty and he's lonely,
他一直没有约会
and he hasn't really been able to date,
也许还会哭着入睡
and he probably cries himself to sleep.
我的天哪 他们会复合的
Oh, my God, they're going to get back together.
我把票要回来了
So, I got the tickets back.
好多票啊
Ooh! So many tickets!
第31场比赛 第32场比赛 第33场比赛
We got game 31, game 32, game 33.
我猜猜 还有第34场比赛
Let me guess, game 34?
第34场比赛他们出去巡游了
No, they head out on a road trip for game 34.
然后回来第41场比赛 第42和43场比赛
And then, they come back for game 41, game 42, 43.
能给我两杯白葡萄酒吗
Can I get two white wines, please?
当然 你还好吧 朋友
Sure. You doing okay there, buddy?
你们不会相信的 莎伦吻了我
You're not going to believe this, but Sharon kissed me.
你睁着眼吗
Were your eyes open?
我觉得她想和我复合
I think she wants to get back together.
好吧 但你希望这样吗
Okay, but is that what you want?
好好考虑一下 她的照片可真不少
I mean, really think about it. She's got a lot of photos.
我理解 但是
I get it, but look.
她是我唯一爱过的女人
She's the only woman I've ever loved,
我知道她不算完美
and I know that she's not perfect,
但这次情况可能会有所不同
but maybe it'll be different this time, you know?
再说 她是活生生喘着气的女人
Plus, she's a living, breathing human woman
而不是一个会慢慢变形的
and not a hypoallergenic body pillow
低过敏枕头
that's slowly losing its shape,
这次我要看看到底会怎么样
so I'm going to see this one through.
不妙了
This is not good.
她会再一次伤他的心的
She's just going to break his heart again,
这段感情第一次就差点要了他的命
and that relationship almost killed him the first time.
她是想把他黏住
She's just trying to suck him in.
如果他上了车
I'm telling you, if he gets in that car,
我们就会永远失去比尔了
we could lose Bill for good.
是啊 但我们的使命已经完成了
Yeah, but our job is done here.
门票到手了
We got the tickets.
弗雷德 我们不能坐视不管啊
Come on, Fred. We can't let this happen.
记得你曾说过他是我们的一份子吗
Remember when you said that he was one of us?
你是对的 他现在就是了
Well, you were right. He is now.
好吧 你说得对 算我一个
Yeah, no, you're right, I'm in.
-我们去拯救比尔 -好的
- Let's save Bill. - All right.
接下来我们要这么做
Here's what we got to do.
比尔现在已经神志不清了
Bill is not thinking straight right now,
不能让他就这么跟着她离开
so we cannot let him leave with her.
知道了 我会去把比尔绑了
Oh, I know, I'll kidnap Bill.
把他带去我家
Yeah, I'll bring him to my house,
让他坐在沙发上 放上一部电影
I'll sit him on the couch, I'll put on a movie.
我们可以做爆米花 给喜欢的人打电♥话♥
And we can pop popcorn, call our crushes.
这不叫绑♥架♥ 这叫四年级的过夜派对
That's not a kidnapping. That's a 4th grade sleepover.
大伙们 我觉得莎伦和我
All right, guys, I think Sharon and I
-该走了 -不不不
- are going to take off. - Oh, no, no, no.
你不能走 你得留下 必须留下
You can't go, you--you stay. You have to.
今晚的酒吧可是有特殊活动的
I mean, tonight is a special night here at the bar.
-非常特殊 -真的吗 有什么安排
- Very special. - Really, what's going on?
今晚的特别节目就是
Tonight's the night when--
就是我带来了一条200磅的金枪鱼
When I bring in a 200-pound tuna,
大家一起来膜拜它
and everybody admires it,
然后我给大家切生鱼片吃
and then, I start slicing sashimi.
没错 就是这个 弗雷德干得漂亮
Yep, it sure is that night. Isn't it, Fred?
今晚是我们的特别金枪鱼夜宴
Tonight is our-- our special Tuna Luau night,
我们都要参加 你也得来
and if we have to be here for it, so do you.
真不想扫你们的兴致
Aw, well, I hate to be a downer,
但我不吃任何有脸的东西
but I don't eat anything with a face.
我能把脸砍掉 这会让你好过点吗
I can chop off the face. Will that make you feel better?
可是莎伦 我们不只是要
Oh, but--oh, but, Sharon, it's so much more
吃一条金枪鱼
than eating a tuna, you know?
还有许多特别的安排呢 对吧朋友们
So many special things happen. Right, guys?
没错 我们今晚会...
That's right. Uh, tonight is when we...
拿出所有的双节棍耍着玩
get to play with all the nunchucks
就是艾比上个月从我这儿没收的双节棍
Abby confiscated from me last month.
对 是这个安排
Yeah, that happens.
而且酒吧里所有男人
And all the men at the bar
都会脱了上衣跳舞
take off their shirts and dance.
也不是所有人
Well, not all of them.
只是那些我看得上的人会脱
Just the ones I think have promise.
我们也会穿好衣服
And, uh, also, we dress up,
干些其他正常的事
and you know, other more normal things
给今晚的特别夜宴助助兴
that might happen on a special Luau night.
还有一件事
Oh, one more thing.
我们会围成一个大圈 互相拥抱
We all get in a big circle, and we give each other
相互赞美 直到所有人
compliments and hugs until we
都由衷地感到温暖陶醉
all feel so warm and fuzzy inside.
-这听起来 -真是太不可思议了 我懂
- Well, that sounds so-- - So incredible, yes, I know.
比尔 莎伦 不如你们坐下
Bill, Sharon, why don't you take a seat?
弗雷德就要去他后备箱取那条超大金枪鱼了
Fred's going to go get a giant tuna from the trunk of his car,
我们都很兴奋 尤其是我
and we're all excited. Especially me.
我有一堆各式各样的面具
Okay, I have got an assortment of masks,
以及我孩子万圣节的装扮 应该没问题
and my kid's Halloween costume, so...
等一下
Hey, wait a second.
你给我的这个 好像是一片泥面膜
This mask you gave me, I think it's a mud mask.
没错 你看起来有点干
That's right. You looked a little dry.
不客气 吉姆
You're welcome, Jim.
看看 是不是很特别
See, guys? Isn't this special?
等到弗雷德从后备箱取来金枪鱼
And we haven't even gotten to the part
今晚一定会更特别的
where we eat a tuna Fred had in his trunk.
美味啊
Yum.
这没有一样是正经波西米亚风格的
Ugh, none of this is authentically Polynesian.
我们能走了吗 要聊的还很多呢
Look, can we get out of here? We have a lot to catch up on.
但是今晚会很有趣的
But this is going to be so much fun.
他们总是这样别出心裁
They do stuff like this all the time.
这就是这家酒吧最棒的地方
It's like the best part about the bar.
我知道你过去不得不跟他们在这里厮混
I know you've, like, had to hang out here,
但我们何不去一家真正的酒吧呢
but why don't we go to a real bar?
能有漂亮的鸡尾酒 四周还能有墙挡着
You know, with cool cocktails and walls.
各位 我想我和莎伦
Guys, I think Sharon and I
这次真的要走了
are going to take off for real this time.
不不不 你们不能走
No, no, no, you can't go, no!
因为我们刚刚任命你为...
Because we all just nominated you.