艾比酒吧

「艾比酒吧」是在户外观众面前现场摄制的
"Abby's" Is filmed in front of a live, outdoor audience.
-三块钱 -等等
- Three bucks. - Hold on.
我有个小提议
I got a proposition for you.
说吧 快点
Fine. Quickly.
我每晚在这个位子上坐五个小时
I am here on this stool every night for five hours.
三年里一天不落
I haven't missed a day in three years.
美国职棒大联盟球员
是啊 你就像低配酒鬼版的小卡尔·瑞普肯Yes, you're the Cal Ripken of low-grade alcoholism.
谢谢
Thank you.
我相信我坐在这个凳子上
I believe my being on this stool
营造了一种喜气洋洋的饮酒氛围
creates a festive drinking atmosphere,
我应该因此得到点奖励
and I should be compensated for that.
像免费畅饮
With free drinks.
你拿的什么 贝丝
What you got there, Beth?
飞镖靶
Dartboard.
我买♥♥个给我儿子们的 但五分钟内
I bought it for my boys, but, uh, five minutes in,
他们就开始往对方脸上扔飞镖
they were just throwing darts at each other's faces,
大笑 尖叫 血液四溅
laughing and screaming, blood everywhere.
我觉得他们可能真的是精神病
I think they might be legitimate psychos.
还有 我可能是个糟糕的妈妈
And I might be a terrible mom.
艾比 我们能留着这个吗
Abby, can we keep it?
我不知道它的记分机制是什么
I'm not sure how the scoring works,
但我愿意花点时间到网上找找
but I'm willing to waste a lot of time on the Internet
试着搞明白
trying to figure it out.
我的意思是 我明天约了牙医
I mean, I got a dentist appointment tomorrow,
除了那个之外 我什么都弄不了
but other than that, I ain't got nothing...
好几个月
for months.
我想听听优缺点 来吧
I wanna hear pros and cons. Go.
优点 这是飞镖 很好玩 完毕
Pros : it--it's darts. It's fun. Case closed.
缺点 喝醉的人乱扔这些尖锐物
con : drunk people throwing pointy things.
-弊端显著啊 -是啊
- Big con. - Yeah.
优点 你不是运动型的人也能玩
Pros : you don't have to be athletic to be good at it,
我这么说是因为我不是运动型的
and I'm saying that because I'm not athletic.
我块头大 人们就认为我是运动型
I'm big, so people assume I am,
等他们把我派上场
and then they get me on the field,
就会发现「其实不然」
and they be like, "Nah."
缺点 飞镖感觉像英国的
Con : darts feels kind of British.
等等
Hold on, though.
飞镖是英国的吗
Is darts British?
你在质疑我吗 弗雷德
Are you fact-checking me, Fred?
不 我只是不确定飞镖是英国的
No, I'm just--I--I'm not sure that darts is British.
我的意思是 你不是质疑我
Well, I mean, you're either fact-checking me,
那你就只是
or you're just, uh...
随便说说
talking.
来啊 弗雷德 硬气点 别怕她
Come on, Fred, do it. Don't let her psych you out.
是啊 弗雷德 上啊
Yeah, Fred, go for it.
-没事的 冲啊 -不 别做
- It's fine. Do it. - Don't. Don't do it.
好吧 我接受挑战
Fine. Challenge!
你个白♥痴♥
You idiot.
去查书
To the books.
-有自信吗 -有吧
- You feeling confident? - Yes.
好了 开始了
Okay, here we go.
「飞镖发明于1♥8♥9♥6年
"Darts created in 1♥8♥9♥6
发明人是兰开夏郡的一位木匠」
by a Lancashire carpenter."
兰开夏郡在哪 詹姆斯
And where is Lancashire, James?
兰开夏郡
Lancashire...uh...
不 詹姆斯 那是个反问
No, James. That was rhetorical.
兰开夏郡很明显是英国的
Lancashire is obviously in England.
一个典型的英国名字 我是对的
It's a very English word. I'm right.
根据第七条规则
In accordance with rule number seven,
挑战失败的惩罚
the punishment for losing a challenge,
我给你的是一瓶含糖的
I present you with one sugary,
恶心的 酸橙口味
disgusting, lime-flavored
非啤酒饮品
not-beer.
好好享受
Enjoy.
什么味啊
The smell.
为什么会有人对酒精做这种事
Why do people do this to alcohol?
艾比酒吧
第一季 第一集
艾比 等等
Abby, wait.
我们能留下这个镖靶吗
Can we keep the dartboard?
无所谓啊 只要你能找个合适的位置放
I'm okay with it as long as you figure out a good place to put it.
-后院围栏那怎么样 -不行 太低了
- How about the back fence? - No, that's too low.
你得找个视线水平的地方
You need something eye level.
我们让斯基普挪挪地方怎么样
What if we asked Skip to move?
我不会让斯基普做任何事的
I'm not asking Skip to do anything.
他会冲我吼
He might yell.
我不喜欢冲突
And I don't like confrontation.
你是保镖啊
You're the bouncer.
我知道 搞砸了啊
I know. It's messed up.
不好意思
Excuse me.
艾比在哪里
Where can I find Abby?
兄弟 你不能大摇大摆走进来
Buddy, you don't just waltz in here
就想要艾比
and ask for Abby.
在这喝酒是一项求之不得的殊荣
Drinking here is a coveted honor.
你必须得一步步往上爬
You have to work your way up the ladder.
是啊 有一套新人审核机制
Yeah, there's a vetting process for new people.
最初的三周 你坐在后边的长凳上
First three weeks, you're on the back benches.
你只能小声说话 艾比给你什么就喝什么
You keep your voice down. You drink what Abby tells you.
-事实上 我 -声音太大了
- Actually, I-- - Too loud.
降一半 眼睛向下看
Half that. Eyes down.
三周之后 如果你够酷
And after three weeks, if you're chill,
你就可以换到散客区
you move on to the random chairs section.
是的 在那坚持
Yeah, you stick it out at the chairs
三到六个月
for three to six months...
你就是资深会员了 可以坐到吧台来
You're a full-fledged member. You can sit at the bar.
这是个流程
It's a bit of a process,
但一旦做到了 你就是一家人了
but once you're in, you're family.
你不会再孤杯独饮了
You never drink alone again.
你在说什么
What the hell are you talking about?
这什么情况 这些人都是谁
You--what is this? Who are all these people here?
这里是艾比的地盘 我们一起
This is Abby's. This is where we go
喝酒玩乐的地方 因为我们喜欢这样
to drink and hang out, 'cause we like it.
-你谁啊 -比尔 我是艾比的房♥东
- Who are you? - Bill. I'm Abby's landlord.
什么 你才不是 我房♥东是个老太太
What? No, you're not. My landlord is an old lady.
詹姆斯 把他赶走
James, kick him out.
不 这不是我新买♥♥的毛衣
No, this is not my new sweater.
这是我第一次穿这件毛衣来这
This is my--it's my first time wearing it here.
你的前任房♥东 爱丽丝 她去世了
Yeah, so, your former landlord, Alice, passed away.
她把这栋房♥子留给了我
She left me this house.
我是她的侄子 比尔
I'm her nephew, Bill.
这里是我姑妈后院的酒吧吗
Is this a bar in my aunt's backyard?
什么
What?
不 不 这些只不过是
No, no. These are all just...
我的朋友们
my friends.
-是的 -没错
- Yep. - Yeah.
只是碰巧相互认识的人
Just people who happen to know each other.
-紧急联络人 -是啊
- Emergency contacts. - Yeah.
我们只是一起出来玩
We just, like, hang out like this,
大家聚在一起
all together in a group.
还带收银机的
With a cash register.
我收集老旧的收银机 很多人都这样
I collect old cash registers, as do many other people.
-什么人 -那些...
- What people? - People that...
我就不该插嘴
I shouldn't have jumped in.
-能给我一杯啤酒吗 -好的 老兄
- Could I get a beer, please? - Sure, man.
给
Here you go.
三块钱 对吧
Okay, it's three bucks, right?
等等 朋友
Whoa. Whoa, there, friend.
你为什么要给我钱
Why are you giving me money?
我家就是你家
Mi casa es su casa.
真够奇怪的 在一个纯社交非交易的场合
Weird move-- giving her money for a beer
花钱向她买♥♥啤酒
in a social, non-business situation?