艾比酒吧

我知道的 但是因为
I totally knew that, but I forgot
艾比跟我说了很多私事
because Abby tells me so many personal things
我很难全都记下来 所以就忘了
that it's really hard for me to keep track of them, so...
是吗 听起来不像艾比啊
Really? That doesn't sound like Abby.
你好呀
Hey.
是吗 听起来不像艾比
Really? That doesn't sound like Abby.
好了 这是我们目前知道的情况
Okay, here's what we've learned so far.
加点冰变凉 难喝
Adding ice makes it cold--bad.
加点柠檬变酸 难喝
Adding lemon makes it sour--bad.
我们可以解决这个 只是需要点努力
We can figure this out, but it's just gonna take a little elbow grease.
肘部油脂真的存在吗 我宁愿喝那个
Is elbow grease a real thing? Because I'd rather drink that.
下一个实验是什么
What's the next experiment?
我们正在加热 再加点蜂蜜混合
Well, we are heating it up and mixing it with honey.
你听过热棕榈酒吗 这是杯「热史蒂夫」
You've heard of a hot toddy? This is a "Warm Steve."
你知道怎么让这个好喝吗
You know what might make this better?
我们把它扔进垃圾桶 再也不谈此事
If we threw it in the garbage can and never talked about it again.
艾比 你是不是有事想要告诉老朋友贝丝
Abby, is there something you've been meaning to tell your ol' pal Beth?
或许是一些事你不好意思告诉我
Maybe something you feel bad about keeping from me?
好吧 是这样的
Oh. Okay. Fine. Um.
我可以从我的卧室看见你二楼的卫生间
I can see into your upstairs bathroom from my bedroom.
-我看见一些事 -不
- I've witnessed certain things-- - No.
我刚刚和达妮在那边
Uh I was just over with Dani
帮你 也就是我的密友说些好话
putting in a good word for you, my close friend,
猜我发现了什么 你们俩已经谈过恋爱了
and guess what I find out. You two already dated.
你俩谈过吗 你是不是伤透了她的心
Whoa, you two dated? Did you break her heart?
这个腐烂的泔水是被抛弃情人的报复吗
Is this putrid swill some sort of a jilted lover's revenge?
贝丝 我叫你别去管闲事
Beth, I told you not to meddle,
而且那段情其实很随意
and besides, it was super casual.
有多随意 就像一♥夜♥情♥吗
How casual? Like a one night stand?
就像个45夜情
Like a 45-night stand
时间跨距了三个月
spread out over, uh, three months.
三个月 我一个半月就经历了遇见我老公
Three months? I met my husband, got married,
结婚 然后怀孕
and pregnant in half that time.
好了 贝丝 别炫耀了好吗
Okay, Beth, stop bragging.
这里还有些人回家就抱个枕头呢
Some of us still go home to a body pillow.
我不总是用抱枕的 好吗
Hey, I don't always use the body pillow, okay?
老天 你是在说你自己
Oh, my God, you were talking about you.
你们就当没听见
Never mind.
艾比 你怎么不告诉我 我以为咱俩无话不说
Abby, why didn't you tell me? I thought we were close.
贝丝 我保证 这没什么
Beth, I promise, it wasn't a big deal.
我和很多人谈过恋爱 你都不认识她们
I mean, there's a lot of people I've dated that you don't know about.
-还有其他人吗 -当然有
- Wha--there are others? - Well, yeah.
难以置信 我什么都告诉你
Unbelievable. I share everything with you.
看来我一直在一个陌生人的店喝霞多丽
Guess I've just been drinking Chardonnay from a stranger.
我还不如去池莉酒吧
I might as well be at a Chili's.
等等 大家都不喜欢池莉酒吧吗
Wait a second, do people not like Chili's?
我觉得那边的人很有魅力啊
I find them so charming.
有次有个服务员开玩笑地说
You know I once had a waiter who jokingly referred
我的蓝色玛格丽塔是「冲厕水」
to my blue margarita as "toilet water."
我想那个男的叫布莱恩 真有趣
I think that guy's name was Brian. What a hoot.
你是有什么毛病 老兄
What the hell is wrong with you, man?
艾比 贝丝说得有道理 我认识你这么多年
Abby, Beth has a point. I've known you for years,
我从没见过你谈的朋友
and I've never met anyone that you've dated.
那又怎样 我也没见过你的女朋友
So what, I've never met anyone you've dated.
你不记得我介绍给你的那位快递女士了吗
You don't remember the UPS lady that I introduced you to
我差点就约炮成功的那个
that I almost had that thing with that one time?
对啊 我们对你的私生活一无所知
Yeah, we know nothing about your personal life,
而你对我们无所不知
and yet you know everything about us.
伙计们 别这样 这就是个传统
Guys, c'mon, it's a tradition as old as time:
顾客喝酒聊天 酒保倒酒倾听
customers drink and talk, and bartenders pour and listen.
顾客吗 我们就是顾客吗
Customers? We're just customers?
顾客会每年请酒保一起过感恩节
Do customers have their bartenders over for Thanksgiving every year
而某人带着从加油站买♥♥来的馅饼也不生气吗
and don't even get mad when all they bring is pie from a gas station?
那个馅饼是我们俩给你的
Hey, that pie was from both of us.
那家雪佛龙的草莓大黄饼很有名的
And that Chevron is famous for its strawberry rhubarb.
好吧 你们想知道我的事吗
All right, fine, you wanna know stuff?
我告诉你们 那是要付出代价的
It's gonna cost ya. I'll tell you what.
你喝一杯 就能问一个问题
You take a shot. You got a question.
但是那东西根本不适合人类饮用
But that stuff is not suitable for human consumption.
我知道 那你是有多想知道我的事
I know, so how bad do you want it?
有你的 等我先吃点酒吧坚果垫底
You're on. Let me lay down a base of bar nuts.
好了 我们来吧
All right. Let's do this.
-需要来一杯吗 -好啊
- Hey, can I get you a refill? - Yeah, yeah, sure.
这让我想起了一种特殊的烈酒
You know, this reminds me of a particular liqueur
是我前妻和我在希腊度蜜月时喝的
that my ex-wife and I had on our honeymoon in Greece.
叫做「卡吉尼亚」 是红酒和芝士做的
It was called "Kykeon," and it's made out of wine and cheese.
古希腊人曾经用它来打破他们神圣的禁食
You see, the ancient Greeks used to use it to break their sacred fast.
真厉害 如果你有什么问题 我就在这里
Cool. Well, I'll be here if you have any questions.
好的 我真有个问题
All right, okay. Oh! I do have one question.
如果有人祝贺你是双性恋
If somebody congratulated you on your bisexuality
如果从一到十打分 你觉得这有多冒犯
like on a scale of 1 to 10, how offended would you be by that?
我不是双性恋 我是同性恋
Oh, I'm not bi. I'm gay.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
我是说 我不是对你是同性恋感到抱歉
I mean, I'm not sorry that you're gay.
我觉得你是同性恋很好 你知道吗
I think it's great that you're gay, you know?
两个女人在一起是个很美好的事
I mean, two women together is a beautiful thing.
不是以一个奇怪的方式 我并不是
Not in a creepy way. I didn't mean that
一个性... 天哪
in like a se--oh, boy.
我只是觉得所有人应该有
You know, I just think that everybody should be able
选择爱人的权利 这并不是选择
to choose who they love--not that it's a choice.
你们确定吗 现在退出还来得及
You guys sure about this? It's not too late to back out.
我并不害怕 在大学的时候
I'm not scared. In college, we used to make
在宿舍水槽里制♥作♥金酒 酒太烈了
gin in a dorm sink that was so strong
我的眼珠子都掉出来了
my eyebrows fell out.
我喝过一次 我就可以再喝一次
I drew 'em on once, I can draw 'em on again.
你谈的最长时间的恋爱是多久
How long was your longest relationship?
-差不多两年吧 -是跟谁...
- Almost two years. - And who was--
好了 这是下一个问题了
Up--that's another question.
拜托 这是敲诈
Come on, this is a rip-off.
你应该给我们更多的信息
You gotta give us more info than that.
你们想要更多信息 你们可以
You want another detail, you can have one
以极低价格再买♥♥一杯
for the low, low price of one more shot.
-下一位是谁 -我来
- Who's next? - I'll go.
你喜欢玩乐高吗
Do you like to play Legos?
我慌了 我很抱歉
I panicked. I'm sorry.
我有个问题 谁关心艾比
I've got a question. Who cares about Abby?
这个特别的一天就要从我们指间流走了
This extraordinary day is slipping through our fingers.
我都把我的衬衫熨了
I ironed my shirt!
拿着桨 不然就下船 弗雷德
Grab an oar or get off the boat, Fred.
你的第一次是跟谁 当时在放什么音乐
Who did you lose your virginity to and what song was playing?
泰勒·弗兰佐尼以及《跳跃》 下一个问题
Taylor Franzoni and "Jump." Next question.
-接受不了 太模糊了 -贝丝说得对
- Unacceptable! Too vague. - Now, now, Beth's right here.
美国音乐库里
There are multiple songs
有太多歌♥名叫《跳跃》了
in the American musical library titled "Jump."
抱歉各位 规则不是我定的
Sorry, guys. I don't make the rules.
但你定了
But you do.
规矩都是你刚才定的
You literally just made them.
别担心 我来搞定 把它们排好队
Don't worry. I got this. Line 'em up.
是指针姐妹合唱团的《跳跃》吗
Was it "Jump" By the Pointer Sisters?
不是
No.
-范·海伦乐队的《跳跃》吗 -不是
- "Jump" By Van Halen? - No.
克里斯克罗斯的《跳跃》吗
"Jump" By Kris Kross?
不是 再猜一次
Nope, try again.
萝西 别喝了 你快死了
Rosie, no. You'll die.
拜托艾比 你不会当真了吧
C'mon Abby, you're not taking this seriously at all.
我不同意 我觉得我只是
Oh, I disagree. I feel like I'm taking it
给予它应得的尊重
just as seriously as it deserves.
如果你不公平进行的话
Well, if you're not gonna play fair,
那我就不玩了
then I'm not doing this anymore.
不 你们觉得她生气了吗
Oh, no, do you really think she was mad?