艾比酒吧

Totally untrue. I have beautiful feet.
是我的脚踝破坏了美感
It's my ankles that's the problem.
如果你们需要 我可以跟艾比谈谈这个
If you guys wanted, I could talk to Abby about it.
-真的 -是啊
- For real? - Well, yeah, I mean,
我是她的房♥东 作为房♥产的所有者
I'm her landlord, and as the property owner,
我应该对她还是有点影响力的吧
I should have some pull with her.
比尔 那真的太好了
Bill, that would be amazing.
如果你能把那条规矩给改了
If you could get that rule changed,
-你就能荣升我最新的好朋友 -真的
- you'd be my new best friend. - Really?
我去试试吧 我也说不好
I mean, yeah, I'll give it a shot, I don't know.
我会去的
Okay, I'll do it.
劳驾 酒保
Excuse me, bar keep?
天哪真抱歉 我也不知道我为什么这么说
Oh, my God. I'm really sorry. I don't know why I said that.
我说艾比 我能跟你说个事吗
Hey, listen, Abby, can I talk to you about something?
比尔 我荣幸之至
Nothing would make me happier, Bill.
我觉得我们得修改一下第103条规则
Okay, well, I think that we should amend Rule 103.
我觉得男人们应该可以在酒吧里
I think it's time that the men at the bar
穿露脚趾头的鞋了
are able to wear open-toed shoes.
不会吧詹姆斯 你让比尔跟我提这个
Seriously, James? You got Bill asking me now?
我都不... 我们说的是什么
I don't even--what are we talking about?
比尔 回答是不可以 我给你讲个故事
The answer is no, Bill. Let me tell you a little story.
我曾被一个人的脚袭击过
I was attacked by a man's foot once.
那是两年前
It was two years ago.
我蹲下身去捡笔
I was reaching down to pick up a pen
结果一位老人家的脚指甲就划了我的脸颊
when an older gentleman's toenail grazed my cheek.
而且...他的大脚趾头还飞快地
And...his big toe, briefly but unmistakably,
实实在在地蹭到了我的牙
touched the tip of my tooth.
我在一艘商业捕鱼船上干过两年
I worked for two years on a commercial fishing boat.
亲眼看过好多鱼被活活敲死
Saw a lot of fish clubbed to death.
但你那个是我见过的最让人难受的事
And that is the most upsetting thing I've ever seen.
那个确确实实太恶心了
Okay, yes, that is just really, really, really gross,
可那只是个恶心的意外啊 艾比
but it was a freak accident, Abby.
我和一些人谈过
Okay, I've been talking to the people,
真正的人 坐在后边长凳上的人
the real people, the back bench people,
他们是这间酒吧重要的组成部分
who are, by the way, the fabric of this bar,
而他们的脚在受罪
and their feet are suffering.
人们的一些冲动并不一定
The people have impulses that aren't always
对他们或者对酒吧是最好的
what's best for them or the bar,
尤其是喝了些酒以后
especially when there's booze involved.
她说得对 上礼拜烟花杰瑞
She's right. Last week, Fireworks Jerry
喝了四个朗姆酒加可乐之后 居然想在
had four rum and Cokes and wanted to set off
-这里放冲天炮 -冲天炮
- bottle rockets back here. - Bottle rockets!
谁想要 你想要吗 我这有
Who needs them? You need some? I have some.
-你想要吗 -杰瑞 安静
- You need some? - Jerry, settle down!
安
Settle.
静
Down.
第二点呢 规则是保护
Second of all, the rules protect
酒吧的完好的
the integrity of the bar.
我们不能随意更改
We don't just change them on a whim, okay?
谈话到此结束
Conversation over.
比尔 比尔
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
比尔 比尔
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
对不起
Ahem, excuse me.
我援引第47条B款之规定
I hereby invoke Rule 47b,
任何人都可以通过正当程序来挑战现行的规则
which stipulates that any person may challenge
任何人都可以通过正当程序来挑战现行的规则
an existing rule through the application of due process.
你个笨蛋
You fool.
比尔 艾比把你杀死以后
Hey, Bill, after Abby murders you,
我们能拿走你的手♥机♥套吗
can we have your cell phone case?
你人走了 但我们还想拿你找乐子呢
We're still gonna want to make fun of you when you're gone.
你真想这样做
You really want to do this?
没错
I do.
萝西 响个铃
Okay, Rosie, ring the bell.
有人挑战规则
We got a rule challenge.
不对 那是「挑战事实」铃
Oh, that's the "Fact challenge" Bell.
-挑战规则铃是铜的 -哦对
- Rule challenge bell is bronze. - Mm. Right.
好吧...
Okay...
看来还慢着呢 我们能先谈谈吗
It's kinda taking a while. Can we talk
-她还在底下... -不能 必须等
- while she's down-- - No! Gotta wait.
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you
那是生日铃
That's the, uh, birthday bell.
对 我知道
Yeah, I got that.
我们得重新部署一下
Okay, guys, we gotta regroup.
这个基本上是戴尔引起的问题
Yeah, what are we gonna do about this problem
我们应该怎么办呢
mostly Dale started?
这是我们的酒吧 可比尔想要
This is our bar, and Bill is trying to change
把这地方的魂给改了 我们可绝不能坐视
the soul of this place, but we are not gonna let
比尔把我们一起建立起来的东西都给摧毁了
Bill squash everything we've built together.
相反 我们得摧毁比尔
Instead, we are going to squash Bill.
-数三下一起喊「摧毁比尔」 -你太过了
- "Squash Bill" On three. - You're overcompensating,
不过我喜欢 我们来吧 一 二 三
but I like it. Let's do it. One, two, three.
摧毁比尔
Squash Bill!
改变规则的过程
Okay, the process for changing a rule
很简单
is pretty simple.
字写错了
That's actually P-R-O-C.
我是用拼写自动检查的一代 比尔
I'm a product of the spell-check generation, Bill.
别没完没了
Get off my ass.
但是谢谢你
But thank you.
规则改变的提议必须提交给
The rule change must be brought
有常客们组成的常务委员会
to a standing committee of regulars,
不用说 成员有我 贝丝
which includes, obviously, me, Beth,
弗雷德 詹姆斯 萝西 还有斯基普
Fred, James, Rosie, and Skip.
斯基普永远都弃权
Skip always abstains.
或者打瞌睡 而这就被视为弃权
Or falls asleep, which counts as abstaining.
艾比讲她的理由 你讲你的
Abby will make her case, you will make your case,
而在整个过程里 我们呢 当然免费畅饮
during the entire process, we, of course, will drink for free.
-不 没这回事 -我们可以免费喝三杯
- No, you don't. - We get three free drinks.
-没这回事 -我们可以免费喝一杯
- No, you don't. - We get one free drink.
-一口都没有 -谢谢
- You get zero drinks. - Thank you.
简单多数票获胜 你觉得你行吗
Simple majority vote wins. Think you can handle it?
为了我的新朋友詹姆斯和戴尔 什么事都行
Okay. For my new friends James and Dale, anything.
我可以很有说服力的
You know, I can be very persuasive.
我是高中辩论队的替补队员呢
I was an alternate on my high school debate team.
那是什么意思
What does that mean?
就是说詹妮·李得了红眼病时
It means that when Jenny Lee got pink-eye,
这小子就能第四个出场了
ya boy placed fourth in state.
艾比 我有个超级简单的主意
Abby, I've got a super simple way
来搞定比尔的问题
to handle this Bill situation.
-好啊 说来听听 -第一步
- All right, let's hear it. - First,
我们把他的信♥用♥卡♥偷走去买♥♥东西
we steal his credit card and go shopping.
我买♥♥一双一直想要的鞋
I buy this pair of boots I've had my eyes on.
你可以随便买♥♥你想要的 但不能是那双鞋
You can get whatever you want. Not the boots.
除非你穿起来更好看 其实很可能是这样的
Unless they look better on you, which they probably will.
而接下来呢 比尔的信用额度就会暴跌
Next thing you know, Bill's credit score plummets.
然后我们开始第二步
Then we begin Phase Two.
一共有多少步啊
How many phases are there?
九步而已
Nine.
好吧 弗雷德 听我说
Okay, Fred. Just hear me out.
你试着穿过一双舒服的勃肯鞋吗
Have you ever tried sliding into a nice pair of Birkenstocks
那个足弓支撑鞋底简直可以改变人生
because that arch support alone is life changing.
听着 比尔 我是扁平足
Look, Bill, I've got flat feet,
我觉得挺好的
and I like 'em that way.
就算我不是 我也永远支持艾比
And even if I didn't, I vote with Abby always.
詹姆斯 你要当个两面派吗
James, you've been playing both sides,
我知道你想穿凉鞋
and I know you want to wear sandals.
但差不多得了 好吗 快说你是我这边的
But enough is enough, okay? Tell me you're with me.
-我是你的人 -很好
- I am with you. - Great.
在情感上 理智投票的话 我投比尔
Emotionally. Voting wise, I'm with Bill.
拜托 兄弟
Come on, man.
我以为我们是朋友
I thought we were friends.
我们一起喝酒 一起玩「妙探寻凶」