艾比酒吧

他迫不及待地告诉我登月的真♥相♥
who couldn't wait to tell me the truth about the moon landing.
你知道真正的尼尔·阿姆斯特朗还在上面吗
Did you know the real Neil Armstrong is still up there?
去年 他坚持要进城给我过生日
Last year, he insisted on coming into town for my birthday,
我最终屈服了 我们一起吃去晚餐
so I finally caved, we went to dinner,
他喝了一杯之后 就把我扔下
and then after one drink, he ditched me
跟一个夸他眼睛深邃的女侍应生跑了
for the flirty hostess who said he had soulful eyes.
我们已经不联♥系♥了
So we're not talking right now.
-抱歉 艾比 -没关系
- I'm sorry, Abby. - Oh, it's all right.
这就是为什么它会被扔进垃圾堆
That's why that goes in the junk pile.
等等 等一下
Wait--whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second here.
如果这是封很重要的信怎么办
I mean, what if this is important?
你懂的 这可能是封道歉信
You know, could be an apology.
也有可能是一张从你儿时保留到现在的剪报
Could be, like, a newspaper clipping from a kid you went to school with.
就像我父母总给我寄的那些
At least that's what my parents sent me.
「好吧 爸爸
It's like, "Okay, Dad,
蒂姆·欧弗顿在房♥产网上是个大人物」
Tim Overton's a big shot at Zillow."
我当然明白
I get it.
比尔 这封信唯一能带给我的就是失望
The only thing in here, Bill, is disappointment.
我拆给你看
Let me show you.
这是一张287美元的支票
It's a check for $287.
海獭 这是个不错的选择
Sea otter. That's a solid choice.
我知道这不太可能
I know it's not gonna make a lot of sense,
但我内心有一部分希望我的自行车也在那里
but a part of me was hoping that my bike was in there.
这个目录上有个自行车都可以放在钱包里
There's one in this catalogue that can fit in a purse.
他为什么寄一张287.5元的支票给你
Why is he sending you a check for $287.50?
我不知道
I have no idea.
我甚至不知道他有银行账户
I didn't even know he had a bank account.
不过 国家城市信用社和包装供应公♥司♥
Although, National City Credit Union and Boxing Supply
听起来确实很山寨
doesn't sound super legitimate.
所以没有纸条 只有支票吗
So there was no note, just the check?
只有支票 三周前开的
Just the check. Dated three weeks ago.
这个数字如此具体 一定有原因
Such a specific amount. It has to be for something.
我不在乎 比尔
I don't care, Bill.
你知道这张支票有什么用吗
You wanna know what this check is about?
他可以让自己摆脱困境
It's about him letting himself off the hook.
如果我兑现这张支票 就像我在说
If I cash this check, it'll be like I'm saying,
「我原谅你 爸爸 我想你的确
"I forgive you, Dad. I guess you were
参加了我的高中毕业典礼
At my high school graduation
而不在蒂华纳的赌场玩牌九」
and not playing pai gow at a casino in Tijuana."
但是 艾比 难道宽恕不是
Yeah, but, Abby, isn't forgiveness
所有健康生活方式的重要组成部分吗
an important part of any healthy lifestyle?
比如我 我被一个人欺负了十四年
I mean, look, I was bullied by the same guy for 14 years.
就在上个月 我做了他的婚礼接待
Just last month, I was an usher at his wedding.
你给欺负你的人工作吗
You worked at your bully's wedding?
什么 没有 我没有在那里工作
Well, now... I wasn't working there.
我只负责分发流程单 懂么
I just handed out programs, you know?
好像我最后还调了一会儿酒
I guess I did end up bartending for a little while as well.
再仔细想想 我还帮DJ整理了设备
Come to think of it, I helped the DJ pack up his equipment.
我被利用了
I was taken advantage of.
但关键是 也许是时候原谅他了
But the point is, it might be time to forgive him.
我不会为了287.5元就原谅我爸爸的
I'm not gonna forgive my dad for $287.50.
这根本弥补不了我
It doesn't come close to covering it
如果这就是他想做的
if that's even what he's trying to do.
《夕阳红》说人们想在终老时
"Better With Age" Says that people try
与所爱的人和解
to reconcile with loved ones in their twilight years,
哦 天哪 这个字体太大了
and oh, my God, this font is so big
这本杂♥志♥只有一篇文章
this magazine only has one article in it.
贝丝 你站在我这边对吧 你喜欢怨恨
Beth, you're with me, right? You love a grudge.
你让我们开五公里到另一家麦当劳
You make us drive 3 miles to the other McDonald's
就因为附近麦当劳的收银员
because the cashier at the McDonald's nearby
叫你「太太」
called you ma'am.
我真的很喜欢怨恨...
I do love a grudge...
但是这件事我不知道
but I don't know on this one.
养育孩子真的很难 你犯了错误
Parenting is really hard. You make mistakes,
然后就期待你的孩子原谅你
and you just hope that your kids forgive you
不管你做了什么事
for whatever bad things you do.
例如
For example,
某些孩子在她家隔壁的酒吧待了半辈子
spending half their childhood at the bar next door.
我听到了 贝丝 有些爸爸不够好
I hear you, Beth, but some dads just aren't that great.
我十二岁的时候钓到一条马林鱼
When I was 12 years old, I hooked a marlin,
我爸爸并没有帮我把鱼拉起来
and instead of helping me reel it in,
而是眼睁睁地看我被拖下船
my dad just watched as I got yanked overboard.
也许他想告诉你
Maybe he was trying to teach you
类似「自力更生」这种宝贵教训
a valuable lesson about self-reliance?
是吗 是吧 比尔
Yeah, sure, Bill.
他和他的酒友还拿这件事说笑
Well, him and his drinking buddies were laughing at me,
或许他是觉得我未来如此
but maybe he thought it was funny
「自力更生」更可笑
how self-reliant I was gonna get.
我父母逃离了伊朗的革命
My parents escaped the revolution in Iran
不得不♥穿♥过欧洲各地偷渡过来
and had to get smuggled across Europe.
他们到这里的时候 一共只有35美元
When they got here, they had $35 between them
他们不认识任何人
and they knew no one.
我妈妈和爸爸都干过两份工作
My mom and my dad both worked two jobs
让我和我弟弟读完大学
to put me and my brother through college.
但是 他们有时候简直太烦人了
But, oh, they can be so annoying sometimes.
我希望我也能讲一个糟糕父母的故事
Wish I had a bad parent story to tell,
但是吉姆和路易斯很可爱 他们是最棒的
but Jim and Louise are lovely, just the best.
前几天我的自行车被偷时 他们非常支持我
They were very supportive when my bike was stolen recently.
听着 艾比 我知道这很复杂
Look, Abby, I know it's complicated,
但他是你♥爸♥爸 我也不知道
but he's your dad. You know, and I don't know
他想用这张支票表示什么
what he was trying to say with this check,
但显然他想说点什么
but he was trying to say something.
我是说 你不想说点什么吗
I mean, don't you want to say something back?
你说得对 比尔 我愿意
You're right, Bill. I do.
这就对了 现在你们都上了「宽恕」的火车
Yes, okay, all aboard the forgiveness train.
我想说的是这张支票很蠢
What I want to say is this check is stupid,
所以我们要把它花在我们能想到的
and we're gonna honor it by spending it
最愚蠢的事情来纪念它
on the stupidest thing we could possibly think of.
-太棒了 -不 不 不
- Aw, yeah. - No, no, no, no.
我想你可能误解了我的意思
I think you might have misunderstood me there--
不 不是 比尔 这很棒
No, no, Bill. This is perfect.
我要让他看到一个价值287.5美元的道歉
I'm gonna show him what $287 of half-assed apologizing
对我来说有什么意义 你们觉得呢
is worth to me. So what do you guys think?
我们能想出一个够蠢的主意吗
Can we come up with something dumb enough?
当然了 以我们几位的能力
Oh, yeah. I think this crew is more than capable--
-鱼缸热水浴池 -太棒了
- fish tank hot tub! - Yes!
愚蠢的建议
鱼缸热水浴池
好了 再来些点子 詹姆斯你先来
Okay, more ideas. James, go.
好吧 这有一张售价200块的按♥摩♥椅
Okay, there's a massage chair in here for 200 bucks.
我知道你在想什么
Now, I know what you're thinking--
买♥♥了按♥摩♥椅 要把它插在哪里呢
massage chair, where you gonna plug it in?
答案就在三页之后 电池裤
But then like three pages later, boom--battery pants.
电池裤蠢得够可以
Battery pants is a wonderfully stupid idea,
但是我觉得还可以更蠢 贝丝
but I think we can do dumber. Beth?
不如我们买♥♥一堆伏特加
What if we get a bunch of vodka?
要我说的话 是一吨♥伏特加
Stay with me. It's a ton of vodka.
等等 我再想想
But wait, wait.
还是伏特加吧
It's a lot of vodka.
但我们应该想出一些「愚蠢」的想法
Yeah, but we're supposed to be coming up with stupid ideas.
没错 数不清的伏特加
That's right. A stupid amount of vodka.
这个怎么样 我们雇了一个魔术师
How about this? We hire a magician,
让他给我们揭秘 然后我们就是魔术师了
they tell us their secrets, then we're magicians.
好的 谢谢你 斯基普
Oh, yes, okay, thank you, Skip.
意大利面沙拉
"Pasta salad."
你想让我们买♥♥价值200美元的意
Do you want us to buy $200 worth of pa--
他睡着了
He's asleep.
287美元 一定有什么意义
$287...that has to mean something.
如果数字2 8和7各代表一个字母
Now if you assign a letter to the numbers 2, 8, and 7,
就是B-H-G
you get B-H-G.
这有可能是什么的首字母吗
Now, is it possible that that's the initials