工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E15
Part 2
June 28, 2021, 1:43 p.m.
你们介绍一下自己吧
Tell me about yourselves.
我觉得最简单的介绍方法是
Well, I feel the easiest way to do that would be...
三 二 一
and a three, and a two,and a...
*你说*
*You say*
*我只听我想听的*
*I only hear what I want to*
*不用心听*
*I don't listen hard*
*不在意*
*I don't pay attention*
*愈离愈远的你*
*To the distance that you're running*
*对任何人 任何地方*
*To anyone, anywhere*
*我不了解 你是否真的在意*
*I don't understand, if you really care*
*我只听到否定的答案*
*I'm only hearing negative,no,no,no,no*
这是我的小把戏 叫做
Here's my trick. It is called...
"摇摇我们的小宝贝"
"Rocking our baby."
那是我们的宝贝
That's our baby right there.
把它甩下 然后又抓住它
And I drop the baby, and then I catch it.
我会是一个好爸爸的
I will be a great dad.
我是说 一旦他开始那样对你
I mean, as soon as you have him treating you that way...
虐待什么的 你就可以让他滚了
abusive... you get the heck out of there.
嗯哼 - 没错
Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
别动 - 指甲油涂好没 - 干什么
No. - Aren't we done? - What?
应该涂的还不错吧
It's not that bad, I guess.
我好爱你啊
I love you so much.
噢 噢
Oh, oh!
*你说*
*You say *
*我只听我想听的*
*I only hear what I want to*
*留下来吧*
*Stay*
休息一下
And we'll be back
<工作狂>更多精彩 稍后继续
with more Workaholics.
谁在哭
Who's crying?
喂 哇哇哇 手不要乱放
Hey, whoa, whoa, hey, hands where I can see 'em, man.
我们说好要管住下半身的
We said no cranking down! That's part of the agreement.
我没有管不住啊
I'm not cranking down!
这里在搞什么鬼啊
What the hell's going on in here?
他想玩不用手自♥慰♥的把戏
Oh, he's trying to hands-free ejack!
什么 - 我们前几天看过某个练瑜伽的家伙
What? - Yeah. We watched some yoga guy do it
在视频里干过这种事
in a video the other day.
这没有违反君子协议 我没有用手
This is legal. I'm not using hands.
就不算管不住下半身 - 不行 不用手也不行
We said cranking down. - No, no, not legal.
把你弟弟放下来 Adam
Slack your bone now, Adam.
我自己有分寸什么时候把弟弟放下来
I will tell myself when to slack my bone.
你不放我来帮你放 - 你还想帮我放下我的弟弟
I'll slack it for you!- Oh, you're gonna slack it for me?
早上好 帅哥们
Hey, morning, boys.
你好
Hey!
我一定睡着了
Must have fallen asleep.
你们整个晚上都在看着我吗
Have you guys been watching me all night?
是啊 这两个傻♥逼♥睡着了
Yeah, well, these two bozos fell asleep,
但是呢
but...
我整晚都看着你
I watched you all night long.
你人真好
That's sweet.
我有梦见你噢
I dreamt about you
但是呢 我给你做了早餐
Anyway, I made you breakfast.
有几片吐司 几个奶油小卷
I got some toast, some Beerios,
为整天自♥慰♥的你补充糖分
extra carbs for masturbating all day.
你们真是大好人
You guys are the best, I mean it.
你也是
We're feeling you too.
我们要出门干活了 不然就要迟到了
So we're gonna go, 'cause we got work, we're gonna be late.
很高兴你享用了早餐 再见
I'm glad you enjoyed breakfast. See ya.
我们办公室有电脑 三十分钟后见
We got computers at work, we'll see you in 30.
我不明白
I don't get it.
为什么"美女聊天网"会被屏蔽呢
Why would realchixxxchat be a forbidden website?
完全没道理啊
Makes no sense.
公♥司♥应该只屏蔽色♥情♥网♥站♥
The company's only supposed to block pornog.
难道"美女聊天"这个名字
Does the name realchixxxchat
跟色♥情♥网♥站♥沾到一点边了吗
even sound remotely like a porno site?
然后呢 要屏蔽Google(谷歌♥)了吗
What next? He's gonna block Google?
因为那两个O看起来像是两个大胸吗
Because there's two "O"S, and they look like breasts?
这根本是乱来
That doesn't make any sense.
我们应该想看什么就看什么
You can watch all kinds of stuff.
就是啊 上个星期 我们整天都在
Yes, lord knows, last week, all we were doing all day
看哺乳视频 - 就是啊
was watching breast-feeding videos. - Yeah.
还有那些巴西小屁孩跳的猥琐舞
And those Brazilian kids that were dancing behind each other.
他们才五岁
They were like five years old.
Justanna现在肯定在跟一堆男人私聊
Justanna, right now, is going private with a ton of dudes.
可能还是那些
Probably rich dudes
穿着Aristotle和A&F的有钱男人
who are wearing Aristotle and Abercrombie & Fitch.
我们呢 穿一身Merona傻坐在这儿
And we're just sitting here all merona-ed out.
她可是个真的女人啊
Okay, she's a real chick.
我们得像对待真女人那样对待她
So we need to treat her like a real chick
然后逼着她爱上我们
and force her to love us.
嗯 - 谢谢
Sure, yeah. - Thank you.
我懂
I got it.
但我们现在连网站都上不去 别的就更别说了
But, dude, we can't flex on fools, if we can't even log on.
Alice的电脑可以上黄网
Alice's computer accesses pornog.
你怎么知道
How do you know that?
有时候呢
Because sometimes...
我会在她办公室打飞机
I masturbate in her office.
Alice 说出来你都不信啊
Alice, you're not gonna believe this.
我们刚刚在停车场看到你前夫了
We just saw your ex-husband in the parking lot.
哎哟 情人节礼物喂
Ooh! For Valentine's day?
好贴心噢
That is so cute.
我前夫在停车场
My ex is in the parking lot?
嗯哼
Yeah.
他找你呢
And he's asking for you.
说有个惊喜要给你 是花啦
He mentioned he had a surprise. It's flowers.
情人节礼物 天了啦
For Valentine's day! Oh, my God!
这么一来就说得通了 - 有花噢
It makes so much sense! - There are flowers.
我都差不多四年没见过那个混♥蛋♥了
I haven't seen that jerk in, like, four years.
也不知道是谁死了 借过
I wonder who died. Excuse me.
嗯 - 好
Yeah. - Okay.
他可能还爱着你噢 - 是啊
He probably still loves you. - Yeah.
那个啥 快快快快
See what... go, go, go, go.
别告诉我说Justanna正在向全世界
Justanna better not be showing her milk missiles
展示大胸器啊
to the whole goddamn world.
有些男人可是很变♥态♥的
Men can be such creeps.
那个 要不还是我先来好了 就我一个人哈
Maybe I should go on first, alone.
那个那个 还是我先来比较好
Mmmmaybe I should probably go on first,
保护她 远离kevinjamesfan6这种变♥态♥
to protect her from assholes like kevinjamesfan6.
呵 不不 - 让开
Hmm, no, no. - Excuse me!
不行 - 你说什么
Hmm, no, okay? - Pardon me.
我说不可以哒 - 你再说一遍
Pardon moi, all right? - Pardon me.
我觉得还是我先来比较好呢 朋友们
'Cause I think I should take the lead here, boys,
我说过了 有个艺术问题要请教
because I did mention that I had a question about art.
嗨
Hey!
是谁这么及时赶来看我拍拍拍呀
Look who's just in time to see me slap it!
嗨
Hey!
冷静 冷静
Okay, okay.
我花了点功夫做了一个我们的混脸
I took my time to create a composite of both of our faces,
就能看到以后我们孩子长啥样了
so we can see what our child would look like.
好烂的爹
Bad dad.
我给他取名叫Justsven
I'm calling him Justsven.
他的眼睛像你 嘴巴像我 - 长得好路人
He's got your eyes and my mouth. - Oh, very homely.
好烂的基因 烂啊
Bad genes, bad genes.
噢 我一直想要生个小男孩呢
Oh, I've always wanted a little boy.
现在不就有了嘛 眼睛像你哦
Well, you got one! He's got your eyes.
除此之外呢 我还想要
And also, I'd love to take
带你去库卡蒙加牧场的观景台
you to lookout point of Rancho Cucamonga.
说够了啊 该我了啊 - 很浪漫的
Okay, excuse me. Actually.. - Romantic.
是这样的 我们商量好的 一个人一个话题
Actually, we said one topic per.
现在轮到我了 - 很浪漫哒
So it's my turn. - It's romantic.
我呢 希望你可以
And I would like to ask you
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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