工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E06
Part 2
June 28, 2021, 1:41 p.m.
这地方很好啊
This place is nice.
我不想因为破门而入就进监狱啊
I don't wanna go to jail for breaking that entering.
不会进监狱的
Nobody's going to jail, dude.
家具都布置好了 哥们 这就是个假冒的私人住所
The house is staged, man. It's a fake house, dude!
这主意不错
This is a good idea.
如果我们能周日之前撤出去 一切就完美了
If we get outta here by Sunday, it's perfect.
我是说 我爸要过来出差 是吧
I mean, my dad's here on business, right?
所以他空闲时间并不多
So he's pressed for time.
他会来简单看看♥房♥♥子
He'll come by the house, quick visit,
然后带他吃顿好的 他就回酒店了
then I'll take him to dinner, back to the hotel,
我和他又不相干了
and he's back outta my life again.
对 不错
Yeah, all right.
不如我们把这小巢整得像你住的样子吧
What do you say we Ders-sersify this little peachpit?
对啊 这沙发闻起来和你完全不同
Yeah, this couch smells nothing like you.
你应该在上面蹭蹭你的蛋蛋
You should rub your balls on it.
没必要那么做了
Nah, I don't think I have to do that.
那我开始了 我马上就开始
Yeah, I'll start. I'll start it off.
好吧 - 留点男人的味道
All right.- Get this man musk in here.
我去厕所蹲个坑
I'll go (bleep) in the bathroom.
我直到18岁才自♥慰♥你知道吗
You know, I didn't masturbate until I was 18 years old?
我之前更愿意在家具上蹭
I would just have sex with items around my house.
或者 只要把我衣服放进衣橱就好了
Or just, like, put my clothes in the closet.
不需要你在这磨铁杵 也不需要他去拉泡屎
You know, we don't need to hump. We don't need to go... poop.
好了 欢迎回家
Yeah. Welcome home.
哇哦 - 闻起来不错哦
Whoo! - It smells good in here.
好了 兄弟们 我爸就要来了
All right, dudes, he's gonna be here soon
客厅基本上都
and the living room's almost...
你们他妈穿的是啥
What the (bleep) are you wearing?
听着 如果你看过<特种部队2>
Well, if you'd gone to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation
你说你会去看的
like you said you were going to,
你就会知道这是我的"屠夫中士"外套
you would know that this is my sergeant slaught outfit.
那是我最好的朋友"沉船"
And this is my very good friend Shipwreck.
你好 - 你好
Hello. - Hello.
知道了
Uh, got that.
为什么现在穿着这些
Why are you wearing them right now?
你把你自己说得那么成功
You talked yourself up so big.
我们不希望你最好的朋友
We didn't want you to be best friends
是两个傻蛋啊
with a couple of doo-doo heads.
嗯
Mm-mm.
那这哪间屋是我的
Yeah, so which one of these rooms is mine?
因为我有条你的项链想挂起来
Because I got this necklace of yours I wanna hang up.
我不知道怎么跟你们说这个
I don't know how to break this to you...
我该怎么称呼你的老爸呢
What should I call your dad?
该是Holmvik先生还是Der爸爸
Should I call him Mr. Holmvik or Ders' dad?
或者就叫老爹
Or just Papi?
他喜欢你叫他大老爹
He likes it when you call him big Papi.
听着 你们不会见到我老爸的
Look, you guys are not gonna meet my dad!
行吧 抱歉
Okay? I'm sorry.
我告诉他我一个人住
It's just that I told him I live alone.
我都告诉你们吧
And I'll be perfectly honest.
他都不知道你们的存在
He doesn't even know that you exist.
你♥爸♥怎么会不知道你最好朋友的存在
How does he not know your best friends exist?
哦 他来了
Okay, that's him.
请出去 回避下 好吧
Please go. Just go. Please?
这没什么道 - 你觉得我们丢你脸了
That doesn't make... - Are you that ashamed of us?
是 认识你们丢脸
Yes! I'm ashamed of you.
我老爸是大狗 而你们只是狗崽子
My dad is a big... dog, and you guys are just pup...
我是条狼 我也算大狗
I am a wolf! I am a big dog too!
你就是看门的狗崽子 你也一样
You're a porch puppy. So are you.
这种族歧视啊 - 好吧
That's racist. - Okay, wow.
Dersy - 嗨
Dersy! - Hey.
走吧
Go!
见到你真高兴 先生 呃 车是租的吗
Oh. Good to see you, sir. No, uh, rental?
没捷豹了 全是迈锐宝
No Jags, all Malibus.
很容易抉择啊 - 当然
That's not a tough call. - Right.
你头发乱成这样
I'm surprised you saw that
居然还能看出来这个
with that mop of hair in your eyes.
没错 好吧 我正要 我刚刚正要
Right, well, I was, uh... I was just gonna get...
喔 - 去剪头
Ooh. - Get it cut.
见到你真的是太高兴啦
And it's so good to see you!
真的是太久不见了
It's just been so long.
抱得也挺久的
That's a long hug.
这是你自己的第一个房♥子 - 没错 都是我一人的
This is your first house. - Yeah, this is all mine.
是我买♥♥的 是我住的 完全就是我的
I bought it, I live here. It's really mine.
但是 我们应该走了
But, uh, we should get going
因为我定的是麦考密克施米克餐厅的贵宾席
'cause I got the chef's table at McCormick & Schmick's,
而且 呃 你知道
and, uh, you know...
红狮子鱼听着就让人恶心
Orange roughy sounds like hell right now.
我们Holmvik家的人就该去莫尔顿牛排坊吃饭
We're Holmviks. We're going to Morton's.
是 - 我得来瓶啤酒
Yeah - I need a beer.
好的 让我看看都有啥
Yeah, um, let me see what I got.
也许会有 - 这是什么情况
There might... - Well, what's the deal here?
我很少回家 因为我总是在 呃
You know, I'm never home 'cause I'm always at, uh...
商务聚餐 谈谈交易什么的
Business dinners, you know, making deals.
讨价还价嘛
Just wheelin' and dealin'.
这就是主廊了
So, uh, yeah, this is the main hallway here.
有点儿像画展
Kind of a gallery.
呃 然后这里是
Um, and in here is, uh...
这就是我的高温瑜珈室啦 没错
This is my hot yoga studio. Yeah.
等下 等一下
Wait, wait a minute.
我知道这是怎么回事了
I know what's going on here.
你准备把这房♥子卖♥♥掉是不是
You're prepping this place to sell.
不 我 是的 我是要把这房♥子卖♥♥了 爸
No, I'm... yeah, I'm gonna sell this place, dad.
我现在要去解个手
Now I gotta hit the John.
给待会儿的牛排腾腾地方
Make some room for that porterhouse.
你最好也去一下 - 我没关系
You should too. - I'm all right.
快去 - 好吧
Just do it. - Okay.
喔 要不咱们就把这当冷却室吧
Ooh. I say we leave is as the cooling room.
于是我的屋子就会有股牛肉干味
And then my room will be a little jerk flavoring,
没人"干"自己的肉干加工室
jerking station without any jerking.
如果我们把肉挂这儿我是不会那样做的
I won't do that if we hang the meat in there.
明智的决定 明智的决定啊
That's a good call. That's a good call, man.
我想着我们可以用我的房♥间
And I'm thinking we can use my room
来放所有的模具
to house all the models
再对牛肉干做点色♥色♥的事情
for the meat jerking beef boys girls calendar.
对吧 就在这些小宝贝身上撒些胡椒
Right? I say we sprinkle some pepper over these babes,
用照烧的方法熏一熏它们
smother them in Teriyaki.
然后它就变成令人"性"味盎然的牛肉干了
It's like jerky, but jerky that you wanna have sex with.
把它们先腌了 然后对着它们撸
Marinade 'em and then masturbate to 'em.
情趣肉干 很有卖♥♥点呀
Sex jerky. That'll sell.
你真♥他♥妈♥聪明啊
You're a freakin' genius, man.
我知道 我当然知道
No, I know. I know that.
而且这更加证明了
And that just proves my theory
Ders自始至终都有在隐瞒
that Ders has been holding back our super friendship
咱们之间的超级友谊
this whole time.
咱们把空调打开吧 让这货凉爽一下
Let's hit this A.C., cool this bitch out.
没错
Good call.
开风扇 科学怪人 - 没问题 科学怪侠
Hit the fan, science guy. - You got it, science bro.
哇喔 把这小婊♥子♥插♥进♥去 - 没问题
Whoo! Plug this bitch in! - You got it.
好嘞 放点切牛肉的音乐吧
All right, let's crank some cow cuttin' tunes!
看好了 开始了
I got you on that. Here we go.
把细菌一扫光
Kick out the germs!
哇喔 - 爽
Whoo! - Yeah!
棒
Cool.
爽
Yeah!
削下一块肉
Lopping off a piece.
啊
Agh!
刀起肉落 - 哇
Clean cut! - Whoa!
没错 撕碎这个小婊♥子♥吧 - 毛绒绒的呢
Yeah, crank that bitch down. - That's really hairy.
没关系啦 毛什么的
That's okay, man. Hair.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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