工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E11
Part 2
June 28, 2021, 1:42 p.m.
耶 这 这些人
Yeah, I mean, t-these people...
他们可不会懂我的派对整蛊
they're not gonna understand my party tricks.
有一次派对整蛊 我吃了60个番茄包
I've got party tricks. I have this one where I eat
但是没吐
60 ketchup packets, and then I don't vomit.
我会给你们讲好吐槽的精髓
I will tell you the secret to a good roast.
从内到外 明确目标
Know your target, inside and out,
然后痛击他的弱点 - 哇哦
and then hit 'em where it hurts! - Whoa.
我以为他要打我 - 他说得没错
I thought he was gonna hit me. - He's right.
Montez比我们都了解Bill
Montez knows Bill way better than we do.
没错 没错 不 他只了解工作中的Bill
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but he knows work Bill.
他不了解生活中的Bill 周末的Bill
He doesn't know the real Bill, weekend Bill.
我们必须了解周末Bill - 周末Bill
We gotta get to know weekend Bill. - Weekend Bill.
我们要去了解周末Bill
We've gotta get to know weekend Bill.
等等 你们还没告诉我Bill是谁
Wait, who's Bill, again?
"反斗智多星"之所以好
The reason Wayne's World works
就是因为它发生在现实世界
is because it takes place in the real world.
我摸到了 - 它是关于真实人生
I touched that. - It's about real dudes.
喜剧不在于开玩笑
Comedy is not about jokes.
你们看到我怎么摸的了吗
Did you guys see how I just touched that?
在于揭示 - 差不多有10英尺高
It's about shedding light... - It's like ten feet in the air.
"王牌大贱谍"就做到了 - 到了 嘘 就是这儿
And Austin Powers does that. - Here, shh! Here it is.
得了吧 - 八号♥
Come on. - Number eight.
天哪 瑜伽 他练瑜伽
Holy yoga, dude! He's a yoga dude.
抓到他的把柄了 没人喜欢瑜伽男
Oh, we can destroy him. No one likes yoga dudes.
哥们 搞笑的是
Dude,it funny because, like,
女生才练瑜伽 他是个男的
girls do yoga, and he's a guy,
却在练瑜伽 - 对 所以才搞笑
and he's doing yoga. - Yeah, that is why it's funny.
是吗 - 对啊 我们真的在
Right? - Yeah, we're really finding,
深度挖掘笑点了
you know, the depth of the comedy.
我们挖得真的够深 - 是啊 他这是要
We're really digging deep. - Right. What's he doing...
干什么
Now, though?
噢 天哪 - 裸体瑜伽
Oh, my God. - Naked yoga.
什么
What?
噢 我的天 他是个裸体瑜伽男
Oh, my God, he's a "Naked yoga" Guy.
等下 他是在 天哪 他在吸那玩意
Wait, is he... God, he's sucking it.
太棒了 我们凭这点就能搞死他
Yes! We're gonna skewer him with this!
唔啊
Ugh.
你们真觉得我们能开他这个玩笑
You really think we can make fun of him for this?
是啊 - 是啊
Yeah. - Yeah.
你们说什么呢 这么牛逼的事
What are you talking about? This is amazing.
他就像个超级英雄 我们不能揭穿他的超能力
He's like a superhero. We can't reveal his superpowers.
抱歉啊 你难道不觉得这是
I'm sorry. Does this not come across to you as just
你所见过的最基的事吗
the gayest thing you've ever seen?
我觉得不自己吸那里才基呢
I think it's gay not to sip your own tip.
那说明你不太喜欢口♥交♥
That means you don't like blow jobs that much,
而那才是世上最基的事
and that's, like, the gayest thing in the world.
对的
Right.
呃 伙计们 我觉得他快要
Uh, guys, I think he's about to...
好吧 我们去转转 去转转
okay, let's take a lap. Let's take a lap.
他在干什么
What's he doing?
这个我很清楚
I know exactly what that is.
毫无疑问那是湿疹用药膏
It's medical cream for eczema, without a doubt.
好吧 所以他是个有湿疹的街头艺人
Okay, so he's a street performer with eczema.
这真是 悲惨 - 这很好啊
This is... Sad. - This is great!
我们有这么多好素材可以用在吐槽会上
We have so much good stuff for the roast.
什么 给自己口♥交♥完全无障碍
What? What's funny about unlimited self-blow jobs
还能表演机器人挣钱 这有什么好笑的
and getting paid to do the robot?
完全没槽点啊
Nothing.
我真嫉妒这家伙
I'm jealous of this dude.
我们的思绪要枯竭了
We're coming up dry.
这个不能拿来笑话他
We can't make fun of him for this.
我不跟你玩这个了 伙计
I'm not doing this again, dude.
快说你要什么
Just tell me what you want.
我的天哪 好吧好吧 火腿吗
Jesus Christ! Okay, fine, ham?
你是想要火腿吗
Is that what you want?
噢 不 真是让人沮丧
Oh, no, this is just depressing.
是啊 我也很难过
Yeah, I'm sad too...
其实 更多是饿了
Mostly hungry, actually.
是的 Ders 去点个披萨
Yeah. Ders, go order a pizza.
这儿不卖♥♥披萨
They don't serve pizza here.
这是个三明治店
It's a sandwich place.
你说如果我们找个披萨店订外卖♥♥的话
Do you think they'll deliver pizza here,
他们会送到这儿吗
like, if we order from a pizza place?
你有打孔卡吗
Do you have a punch card?
这是你自己打的孔吧 是吗
You punched this yourself, didn't you?
好吧 你给我听着 滚出去 到此为止了
All right, you know what? Get out. We're done.
快滚
Beat it.
别把三明治拿走 我会报♥警♥的
Don't take that sandwich! I will call the cops!
嘿 稍等一下 稍等一下
Hey, hang on a second, hang on a second.
我会给他结♥帐♥的 他是
I'll pay for his food. Look, he's...
他是我爸 所以我很难为情
He's my dad, so I'm very embarrassed.
我相信你父亲也曾时不时地让你难堪
I'm sure your dad's embarrassed you from time to time.
没 他从没有 他能辨别是非
No, he hasn't. He's... he has great judgment.
他绝不会做出这样的事
He would never do something like this.
你们跟踪了我一整天吗
You've been following me all day?
呃 大约早上9点开始
Eh, since, like, 9:00 a.M.
所以你们看到我
So you saw me...?
嗯唔
Mm-hmm.
是的 你得教我怎么做
Yes. You've gotta teach me how to do that.
相信我 你可不想走上这条路
Believe me, you don't wanna go down that road.
这是我想走的唯一的路
It's the only road I want to go down.
不管怎样 听着
Anyway, look,
我们只是在搜寻你的糗事
we're just looking for dirt on you,
这样才能在吐槽会上打败Montez
so we can beat Montez at roasting.
我讨厌这二♥逼♥的吐槽会 我知道自己是个屌♥丝
I hate this stupid roast. I already know I'm a loser.
我不需要全公♥司♥的人告诉我这个
I don't need the whole office telling me so.
你这有些 - Montez很残忍♥
You got a bunch of... - Montez is ruthless.
我根本都不想去 - 哇噢 哇噢 好吧
I don't even want to go. - Whoa, whoa, okay.
那样的话我们就没槽可吐了
That means we don't get to roast.
Bill 你忘了
Bill, what you're forgetting here is that...
你才是嘉宾 不是吗
You're the guest of honor, right?
是啊 - 所以你有最终话语权
Yeah. - So you get the last word.
我们可以一起把Montez拿下
We can take Montez down together.
没错
Yep.
Jet Set那个白♥痴♥呢
What about that dickhead Jet Set?
你教我怎么
You teach me how to...
吸自己 那我们就达成协议了
Myself, and we've got a deal.
好吧 你最好够大
Well, you gotta be big.
真的吗 - 嗯唔
Really? - Mm-hmm.
我了个去
Holy Moly.
在这自♥由♥ 呃 之乡 呃
O'er the land-uh Of the free-uh
这个操蛋的Bill是个同志呃
And that fucking Bill's gay-uh
我走啦 祝大家对这只秃顶猪吐槽吐得开心
And I'm out. Have fun roasting this bald pig.
干得好 Bradley
Great job, Bradley!
Bradley是谁 我是Tony Clifton 混♥蛋♥
Who's Bradley? I'm Tony Clifton, you asshole.
醒醒吧 - 喔
Wake up! All:- Oh!
Bill把他的鼻子当作本地自助餐馆
Bill treat his nose like the hometown buffet!
世界上最惨的工作是什么
What's the worst job in the world?
做Bill的裤子 因为你知道
Being Bill's pants, 'cause you know
你会沾满屎的
you're gonna get dookied on!
他有个鼻屎意面餐台 鼻屎甜点餐台
He has a booger pasta bar, a booger dessert bar,
鼻屎上菜台
a booger serving station...
是的 Bill 你看着就像个该死的恋童者
Yes, Bill, you look like a goddamn child molester.
Bill采鼻屎就像做爆米花一样
Bill be picking his boogers like he Orville Redenbacher.
砰 砰 砰 砰 砰 砰
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop!
有句话送给你 兄弟
I got three words for you, brother.
洗洗你的臭屁♥股♥
Wash your stinkin' ass!
好的 下一组吐槽者要来个三人行
Okay, our next roasters wanted to do it as a threesome.
他们还要一起表演
And they also wanted to perform together.
好的 让我们把舞台交给Adam Anders 还有Blake
All right, let's give it up for Adam, Anders, and Blake!
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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