工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S03E05

Part 4 June 28, 2021, 1:41 p.m.

各位不好意思再次打扰
Guys, again, sorry to interrupt,
但是我确定我们的事比
but I'm pretty sure I have something way more important
Adam说的事要重要的多
than whatever Adam's convinced you he's doing.
噢是卡♥通♥么
Oh, is it cartoons?
谢天谢地我只需要一部好的卡♥通♥
Oh, thank God. All I need is a good cartoon
来转移一下注意力
to take my mind off of things.
是<道格>么还是<嗨哈罗德>
Is it Doug? Is it Hey, Arnold?
不不 Jillian
No, no, Jillian,
不是卡♥通♥ 行了不
it's not cartoons, okay?
如果是的话也是<甲壳虫汁>
If it was, it'd be Beetlejuice.
有道理
Makes sense.
但是这其实是更有意义的东西
But it's something, uh, a little more meaningful.
是闺蜜的视频遗愿
It's Homegirl's video will.
开始了 - 大家好是我
Here we go. - Hey, y'all. It's me.
如果你们在看的话我已经去了
If you're watching this, I'm a goner.
但是别让我的死影响到你们
But don't let that get you down.
我觉得她要说明智的话了仔细听
I think those are wise words. Let's liven things up.
你们要加点喝的么
Do you guys wanna take care of your drinks?
因为你们伤心的越久
Yeah, because the longer you're sad,
我在地狱待的时间就越久
the longer I'm gonna spend in hell.
所以不要再蛋疼了
So don't be so darn butthurt.
嗯 - 说的好啊妹子
Mm. - Amen to that, girl.
我想特别感谢
I'd like to say a special thank you to all
在电美工作的你们
you at Telamericorp,
主要谢谢Anders和Blake
but mostly to Anders and Blake.
噢你们听到没
Oh, did you hear that?
他们真是两个绅士
They are just two gentlemen,
不止内心温柔
and not only are their hearts tender,
据我猜测
but I would guess to say that
他们的下♥体♥也很温柔
their penises are pretty tender too.
哇你听到了没 - 也许你应该
Whoa, did you hear that? - So you might want to put
放到你嘴里试试
'em in your mouth and find out.
如果是我的话就给他们生孩子 - 啊哈
I'd be having babies with 'em... - Aha!
我就知道不是她
I thought I knew it wasn't really her for a second.
要和Blake
Just have sex with Blake
还有Anders做♥爱♥哦
and Anders,
不要理Adam 因为他又可悲又白♥痴♥
not Adam, 'cause he's sad and stupid.
不要不要保持悲伤
No! No, be sad.
保持悲伤和蛋疼的状态
Be sad and butthurt.
不
No.
保持悲伤和蛋疼的状态
Be butthurt and sad.
保持愉快和Blake爱爱哦
Be happy and sex with Blake.
他刚才说和不是她说
He just said to have sex with... no, she...
你看穿他的把戏了吧
You see what he was doing?
他在视频直播这段这都是假的
He was face-timing. This was a lie.
不不是 - 这都是谎言
No, no. - This is a lie.
不不不 Adam 别这么做
No, no, no, no, Adam, don't do this.
我需要这个我想把这两个瑞典辣妹
I need this! I just wanna screw these two
像宜家家具一样叠在一起搞了
swedes together like Ikea furniture.
不不
No, no,
你不让我参加你的好莱坞双人约会时
you declared war on me when you didn't
你就是在向我宣战了
draft me to be part of your Hollywood double date, okay?
所以不要再让人家开心了
So quit trying to make everybody happy,
你只是想和这两个性感的外国人上♥床♥
so you can get physical with those sexy foreigners.
但是你们知道么
But you know what?
悲伤才是唤起
Sadness is the real key to evoke
激♥情♥和性♥欲♥的关键
passion and sexuality.
不快乐才是
No, happiness!
是快乐啦 - 是悲伤
It's happiness. - It's sadness!
*我闻到了性♥爱♥和糖果的香气*
*I smell sex and candy yeah*
不不你没有
Oh, no, no, no, you don't.
Blake 不要让他唱了
Blake! Cut him off!
*谁在我的椅子上* - 不要听
*Who's that lounging in my chair?* - no, don't listen.
大家 - 我清唱也可以
Everyone... - I'll do it a cappella.
*是谁绝望地凝视*
*Who's that drowning deviant stares *
Blake 把他音响毁了
Blake, you need to destroy his sound system.
*这是一场梦么* - Adam 他劲好大帮帮我 Ders
*Mama this surely is a dream * - adam! He's strong... Help me, Ders.
伙计伙计
Dudes! Dudes!
你们够了
You guys!
这是闺蜜的儿子Craig
This is... um... Homegirl's son Craig
和女儿Marlene
and daughter Marlene.
天哪我爱死你妈妈了
God, I love your mom.
曾经爱因为她已经死了
Loved, 'cause she's dead.
我算得上是办公室的整蛊王
'Cause, I'm kind of the main office prankster.
当然排在Roberta后面
Second, of course, to Roberta.
Roberta是谁
Who's Roberta?
你妈妈啊 Roberta
Your... mom. Your mom, Roberta.
我们妈妈的名字是
Our mother's name was
Kristy Howard-Clark
Kristy Howard-Clark.
你说啥
What?
是吗
Was it?
Kristy Howard-Clark
Kristy Howard-Clark.
我从来没听说过这个名字
I've never heard that name before.
所以你也一点都不了解她咯
So you didn't really know this woman at all either?
确实但是怎么定义了解呢
No, but, like, what is knowing, nowadays?
好吧他们谁啊你们谁啊
Okay, who are they... Who are you?
我们马上走
We're leaving.
我们只是想去看他妈的好莱坞标志
We just wanted to see the goddamn Hollywood sign,
你们毁了我们在美国的最后一天
and you ruined our last day in America.
你要仅仅因为这疯狂的一天就否认
You're not gonna throw out our years of pen palling
我们这么多年笔友的疯狂岁月么
back and forth over one crazy day?
我只给你写过两年的信
I wrote you for two years.
中学过后你就在和我弟弟写了
After middle school, you were writing with my little brother.
我给你弟弟写了10年的信
For ten years I was writing to your little brother?
这不可能我告诉他我爱他
Okay, that... that can't be true. I told him I loved him.
这并不意味着我是
That doesn't make me...
就代表你是
It does.
我还是拥有了你两年
I had you for two years.
还有那次袖子摸♥胸♥的经历 - 难以相信
And the sleeve! - Unbelievable,
我们的妈妈以前居然和这种白♥痴♥一起工作
I can't believe mom worked with such idiots.
但是她让我们保证如果她不幸早逝
But she made us promise we'd show you this video
我们会给你们看这个视频
if she ever prematurely passed away.
大家好
Hello, everyone.
是我 Kristy 办公室整蛊王
It's me, Kristy. The main office prankster.
感谢你们在电美陪我度过的美好时光
Thank you for all the wonderful years at Telamericorp.
我珍惜这段时间
I cherish them,
我也珍惜你们
and I cherish you.
Jillian 你是个很棒的听众
Jillian, you were always there to listen.
我们应该没说过话吧
I don't think we ever spoke.
Montez 谢谢你借给我
Montez, thank you for letting me borrow
你那个<反斗智多星>的DVD "硬了"
your Wayne's World DVD. Sha-wing!
Bill 我把孩子生下来了
And Bill, I had the baby.
她在菲尼克斯
She's in Phoenix.
菲尼克斯 - 最后
Phoenix! - And finally,
Anders Blake
Anders, Blake,
还有Alan - 啥
and Alan... - Alan?
办公室里的其它整蛊鬼
The other office pranksters.
我想给你们看一个我画的画
I wanted to show you a painting I made for your cubicle.
我很喜欢这幅作品
I'm so proud of it,
希望它可以点亮你们的今天
and I hope that it brightens your day.
她还会画画 - 我不知道
She was a painter? - I don't know.
就在这里
It's right over here.
哇卡
Psych!
没料到我有这招吧
Can't unsee this!
我永远都是整蛊王小兔崽子们
I'm the main office prankster for life, you motherfuckers.
这才不会让我烦心呢我黄色看多了
This doesn't affect me. I've seen a lot of porno,
也不会让我烦 - 风姿依旧
this doesn't affect me. - Still got it.
好吧那什么 - 我的天
Okay, uh, wow. - Oh.
我想那肿瘤的副作用比我们想的要大
I-I guess the tumor had more effect than we knew, um...
其实我们都三年没见妈妈了
The truth is we hadn't seen mom in three years.