工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E08
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:41 p.m.
天哪 Alice今天真是太混♥蛋♥了
God, Alice was being such a dickhead today, huh?
你自己要发激光笔钥匙链
You give out laser-pointer key chains,
还指望我们成熟点别去玩它们
and you expect us to be adult enough not to play with them?
这不是脑子进水了吗
I mean, are you thick?
你就要用来指画别人的裤裆
You were just pointing 'em at people's crotches.
这才是这东西存在的价值 这才有趣嘛
That's what they're there for. That's fun.
老兄 要是她现在在这儿
Dude, if she was here right now,
我会借着酒劲
I've drank enough, to the point
走到她面前
where I would go right to her face,
跟她说
and I would say,
"你这么蠢 注定孤独终老"
"You're dumb and no one loves you."
我就跟她这么说
I'd say that to her.
说得很棒诶
That was really good.
你应该当她面这么讲
You should tell that to her face.
对 我绝对会的 - 就冲着她脸侧的
Yeah, I totally would. - Through her ear hole,
耳洞这么讲
which is in her face,
因为我刚刚拨通了她办公室电♥话♥
'cause I just called her work phone.
什么 - 真的吗
What? - Did you?
真的 - 她的语♥音♥信箱
I did. - It's her voicemail.
快留一条语♥音♥信息
Leave a voicemail.
嘿 Alice 我是Blake
Hey, Alice, this is Blake.
我刚刚在想也许你应该
And I just thought that maybe you should...
用叉子戳戳你的屁♥股♥吃屎去吧
Stick a fork up your butt and eat poo,
因为你就是个傻♥逼♥
because you're a dickhead.
喔 天哪
Oh, my God.
你这么爱我 让我很难过
It's so sad how much you love me
你远远看我一眼
and you look at me from a distance
裤裆里就
and you get all Juicy
湿透了
in your pants.
你也许是老板 但是女士你
You might be the boss, but you, ma'am,
绝不是个领导者 - 没错
are no leader. - Yeah!
有一次我还听见你阴吹了 哈
And one time I heard you queef. Slam!
为Demamp疯狂吧
Get amped on Demamp!
乡巴佬万岁
Cornhuskers rule!
奶♥子♥很不错
Tits are rad!
但不是说你的 我打赌你的都塌陷了吧
Not yours though. I bet they're c-caved.
你不懂如何指派任务
You don't know how to delegate.
你不懂如何激励员工
You don't know how to motivate.
你当然死也不会鼓励
And you sure as hell can't encourage
任何一切创新
any kind of innovation.
让人们去发挥天性 砰
Let the boys be boys. Slam!
为啥没人和你睡呢 咋了 你小妹妹被网住了吗
Why aren't you getting laid? What? Is your vagina webbed?
去剃剃你下面的毛吧 - 舔蛋吧
Go shave your muff! - Suck it.
贱♥人♥ 你嘴里牙齿也太多了
Bitch, you got too many teeth in your mouth.
唷 你看起来像在嗑药 其实我知道你没有
Yo, you look like you smoke, and I know that you don't.
戳到你痛处了吧
So that hits even closer to home.
我恨你 我恨你
I hate you. I hate you.
对 对 - 我恨你
Yep, yep. - I hate you.
我恨你
I hate you!
我恨你 我恨你
I hate you! I hate you!
我恨你
I hate you!
我恨你
I hate you!
我恨她 - 嗯对
I hate her. - Yeah.
噢 糟糕
Oh, no.
老兄 老兄 那些语♥音♥信息
Dude. Dude, the voicemails!
Demamp 醒醒 - 唔
Wake up Demamp! - Hmm?
Blake呢
Where's Blake?
什么 - Blake
What? - Blake!
哟
Yo.
你怎么
How did you...
我也不知道
I don't know.
Blake 走了
Blake, let's go.
Alice每天会提前5分钟到办公室
Alice gets to the office five minutes early every day,
所以我们有29分钟赶在她前面到
which gives us 29 minutes to beat her there
把那些语♥音♥留言删掉
and delete those messages.
真奇怪 我一点都不觉得难受诶
That's weird. I don't even feel hungover.
我喝了差不多17瓶啤酒
I drank, like, 17 beers,
感觉比平常状态好多了
and I feel way better than I normal do.
嗯 也许年龄越大
Yeah, you know, maybe as you get older
越能适应宿醉了
you get better at hangovers.
肯定是这么回事儿
That has to be a fact.
哇哦
Whoa!
天啊 - 我了个
Jesus. - What the...
兄弟们 我们还醉着呢
Guys, we're still drunk.
我们还是坐公交车去吧 走
We got to take the bus. Let's go!
对 一会儿车站见 - 等下 你去哪
Yep, I'll meet you guys there. - Wait, where are you going?
里面 我们需要啤酒 - 等等 不不
Inside. We need beers. - Wait, no!
就是啤酒把我们搞成这样的
Beers is what got us in this situation.
对啊 啤酒也会帮到我们的
Yeah, and it's what's gonna get us out.
我们现在醉着 而且感觉很好 对吗
We're drunk right now, and we feel great, right?
如果现在发生宿醉
If this hangover kicks in...
我们就完蛋了 - 他是对的 我们没有选择
We're screwed. - He's right, we have no choice.
我们到办公室之前都得保持醉态
We have to stay drunk till we get to the office.
噢 那我去车里
Oh, and I'll get
拿上我的精密图像测醉器钥匙链
my sharper image breathalyzer key chain from the car.
这样就能监测我们的血液酒精含量了 伙计们
That way, we can monitor our blood alcohol level, guys.
好耶 血液酒精含量
Yeah! Blood alcohol level!
对对 噢 Adam
Yeah, yeah. Oh, Adam!
给我拿些墨西哥啤酒和青柠檬 好吗
Let me get tecates and a couple of limes, okay?
没问题 - 噢 Adam 还有
You got it. - Oh, and Adam?
太感谢你了 你是真兄弟
Thank you for being a true Braj.
别客气 兄弟
You're welcome, Braj.
坚持住 - 我会的
Stay up. - I will.
一如既往
Always.
快点 咱们走 - 一如既往 伙计
Come on, let's go. - Always, man.
真正的士兵
True soldiers, for real.
哥们 - 你是我最好的朋友
Dude! - You're my best friend!
你也是我最好的朋友 哥们 - 快点
You're my best friend, dude! - Come on!
我喜欢那家伙
I love that guy, man!
糟糕 我忘了皮带 - 嘘
Damn, I forgot a belt! - Shhh.
尼嚎 请说
Yo-ba sayo.
Jillian 我是Anders 听我说
Jillian, it's Anders. Listen to me.
我需要你进入Alice的语♥音♥信箱
I need you to go into Alice's voicemail
在她到之前删掉所有留言
and delete all her messages before she gets in today.
噢 我很乐意效劳
Oh, I would happily do that,
但是她的语♥音♥信箱有密♥码♥
but it's password-protected.
什么 你是她的助理
What? You're her assistant.
却没有她语♥音♥信箱的密♥码♥吗
You don't access to her voicemails?
她妈总是留言说一些刻薄的话
Her mom kept leaving these mean messages
说Alice是个多么差劲的女儿
about how Alice was a bad daughter,
我受不了了 最终给她打了个电♥话♥
so I couldn't take it, and I finally just called her
我说 "听着 女士
and I said, "Look, lady,
闭上你的嘴 自找乐子去"
shut your mouth and find a hobby."
*我再也无法忍♥受*
*And I've had it up to here*
*这死寂一般的海洋*
*With the static in the ocean*
*这五味杂陈的天空*
*Sweet and salty in the sky*
*这是一种挚爱*
*It's a level of devotion...*
Ders 我不行了 给我测下酒精量
Ders, I'm fading! Breathalyze me!
她是个成年人了 - 给你
She's a grown adult... - Here it is.
但却像个小孩
That looks like a baby.
*脚踩滑板 在你心里留下印记*
*On a skateboard, tattooing up your mind*
我来啦 快快 唔哦
Coming through! Hustle. Whoo!
Jillian 我只需要你猜出密♥码♥
Jillian, I just need you to figure out this password,
进去删掉那些语♥音♥信息
get in there and delete those voicemails.
告诉我你可以做到 - 我会说 可以
Tell me you can do that. - I'd say yeah...
鉴于我可比Alice Murray都了解她自己
Considering I know Alice Murray better than she knows herself.
应该是Alice Murphy
It's Alice Murphy, actually.
糟糕 我只吹了0.09
Damn it! I just blew a 0.09.
Adam和啤酒呢 兄弟 我可不能宿醉啊
Where is Adam with those beers? Man, I can't get a hangover.
你知道我宿醉是啥样子
You know how I am when I have a hangover.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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