工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E03
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:41 p.m.
她死了大概十分钟了
She's been dead maybe ten minutes.
被砍头的那种吗
Like head chopped off.
不 她是正常死亡
No, she died of, like, natural causes.
那我绝对会上她 兄弟
I'd do it, man.
她在<魔鬼司令>里可爱爆了
She was cute as hell in Commando.
我倒要让她知道"成长有烦恼" 好好玩玩她的"毒青藤"
I'd show her who's the boss. Poison her Ivy.
哇哦 出事了
Whoa. Something's up.
兄弟们 我们陷入商业圈套了
Guys, we've been boiler roomed.
电美是一个皮包公♥司♥
Telamericorp was just a shell of a company.
Alice可能嗅到联调局的威胁了 是不
Alice probably felt some heat from the feds, right?
所以她半夜收拾铺盖跑了
So she packed up in the middle of the night.
这让我成了范·迪塞尔
That makes me Vin Diesel.
哦 那我就是Giovanni Ribisi
Ooh, I'm Giovanni Ribisi.
那我就是Scott Cann加Jamie Kennedy加小狗了
Oh, I'm like a Scott Cann-Jamie Kennedy Combo Doggie then.
就Jamie Kennedy吧 我有过切身经历
Jamie Kennedy, maybe. I feel that experience.
你好
Hello?
是Alice
It's Alice.
好的 我们谈一谈吧
Okay, let's talk.
入伙的分红是多少
What's the vig to get in on your game?
你们为什么还没到这里
Why aren't you here yet?
我们为什么还没到哪里
Why aren't we where yet?
哦 上帝啊 你们还在旧办公室 对吧
Oh, Christ, you're at the old offices, aren't you?
我们周末就搬办公室了
We moved offices over the weekend.
我这几个星期一直在说这个
It's all I've talked about for weeks.
兄弟们 我们搬办公室了
Guys, we moved offices.
哦对啊 - 我完全忘了 - 对 呃 Alice
Oh, yeah, - I totally forgot. - Yeah, um, Alice...
等一下等一下 让我
Oh, wait, wait, let me...
Alice 我们跟旧办公室完全没关系了 对吧
Hey, Alice, so we're done with the old office, right?
我们再也不会回来了
We're never going back?
对 再也不会 现在 你们赶紧给我滚回来工作
Yeah, never. Now, get your asses over here and get to work, please.
好的 谢谢 Alice
Okay, thanks, Alice.
听起来你今天看上去不错哦
You sound like you're looking good today.
太棒了!
Oh, yeah!
我感觉就像在Garth Brooks演唱会
I feel like I'm at a Garth Brooks show.
踢
Kick it.
他就是个天才
He's talented.
你好 哦 Alice
Hello? Oh, hey, Alice.
你好吗 怎么了
How are you? What's up?
如果你们还在旧办公室的话
Hey, if you're still at the office,
能不能让检查员进去 他被锁外面了
can you let the inspector in? He's locked out.
我可不想惹他生气 然后退给他8000美元保证金
I don't want to piss him off and not get the $8,000 security deposit back.
呃 不是不是不是
Um, no, no, no, no.
你误解我们了
You must have misunderstood us.
我们没在旧办公室
We are not at the old office.
我们在去新办公室的路上
We are watching the old Office, the TV show,
用Ipad看旧<办公室>来着 那部电视剧
on an iPad in the car on the way to the new office.
什么 在吗
What? Hello?
哦 别呀 妈的 这办公室糟透了
Oh, hell no, bitch. These offices suck.
我们他妈的该把车停哪儿啊
Where the hell are we supposed to park?
这里都没位置了
There's, like, no spots.
估计我们得停到马路旁了
Guess we gotta park on the street,
尽管那里还有额外的残疾停车位
even though there's extra handicap spots.
什么 我们办公室里只有一个残疾人啊 轮椅男Mike
What the heck? We have one handicapped dude at our office... Wheelchair Mike.
走运的家伙 我倒是希望我残疾了
Lucky bitch. I wish I were handicapped.
这些家伙太幸运了 兄弟
Those guys are so lucky, dude.
人体兔子脚
Human rabbits' feet.
Alice 我们办公室里有多少残疾人
Alice, how many handicapped people do we have in this office?
这是个陷阱题吗
That a trick question?
我们只有一个
We have but one.
哦 我也要这么说话
Ooh, I'm gonna talk like that too.
啊哦 那里却有两个残疾停车位
Alas, there are but two handicap parking spots,
简单的数学思维啊 夫人
which is arithmetic, milady.
要不你算算
Yeah, you do the math. Hmm?
Alice 他们想说我们这些普通人
Alice, what they're trying to say is that there's no spots out there
都没有车位了 对吧
for normal people like us, all right?
所以 我得把车停到马路旁
So I'm out there, parked on the street,
而且 我还得
and what, I'm supposed to, what,
每两个小时移一次车
move my car every two hours?
太愚蠢了 - 现实点吧
That's stupid. - Get real.
Alice 现实点 告诉你
Act real, Alice, 'cause guess what.
因为我们每天十点到这儿 或者十点零二
We're here every day at 10:00. Okay, maybe 10:02.
当我们到这里的时候 停车位都没位置了
But when we get here, the parking lot's all packed out,
我们就傻♥逼♥了
and we're S .O.O.L.
所以你为什么不能帮我们处理一下
So why don't you just scratch our butts a little bit
给我们一个额外的残疾停车位呢
and give us the bonus handicap parking spot, okay?
首先 我们九点上班
First of all, work starts at 9:00.
对 看到了吗
Yeah. And see this?
我正在写下提醒 给你们那个停车位
This is me making a note of giving you that spot.
"给这些蠢货停车位 换卫生棉条 自杀"
"Give parking spot to idiots. Change tampon... kill self."
呃 换卫生棉条 恶心
Uhh, change tampon... Grody.
这可不好笑 别自杀
That's not funny. Don't kill yourself.
Anders - 怎么了 等一下
Hey, Anders... - What? Hang on.
如果你把车停在马路旁了
If you're parked on the street,
那有警♥察♥正在写罚单
there's a guy out there writing tickets.
让开 让开 - 看到了吗
Move it! Move it! - See?
太好了
Great.
我们刚刚说的十点上班 是开玩笑的
We were just kidding about that 10:00 thing.
我们每天都 呃
We get here every day at, uh... At...
九点 - 九点 没错
9:00. - 9:00! That's when we get...
因为我们在工作
Because we're working.
让开 Wayman 天哪 对不起
Hey, Wayman! Move! God... sorry!
不要 不要 不要
No, no, no, no, no, no! No! No! No!
嘿嘿嘿 停 停车 兄弟
Hey, hey, hey. Halt! Stop! Buddy, hey...
兄弟 兄弟 兄弟 回
Buddy, buddy, buddy, come...
你在逗我对吧
You gotta be kidding me, man!
你肯定是在逗我 什么 妈的
Gotta be kidding me. What... no!
哇哦哇哦哇哦 冷静哥们儿
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, you chill out, buddy.
看样子你要"精"分了 不是射的那种
You're gonna bust a nut, and I'm not talking that good kind.
扔了就行了兄弟 假装没收到过
Just throw it away, man. Pretend like you never got it.
我接到性病测试结果就是这么干得
That's what I did with my std test.
你不能这样做
You can't do that.
你那是危害社会
That's, like, socially dangerous.
哇哦哇哦
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
我们被鬼魂围绕了 这个地方闹鬼
We're surrounded by ghosts. The place is haunted.
是建在坟地上的 我敢肯定
Built on a burial ground. I'm positive of it.
你这么说很奇怪
It is so weird you said that,
因为你正说的时候 我感到阵阵寒意
'cause right when you said that, I got chills.
对 我快冻死了
Yeah, I'm freezing.
那有个通风口 - 的确是个通风口
There's that... vent. - There's a vent right there.
对啊 上面有个通风口 - 那也有鬼
Yeah, there's a vent up there. - There's still ghosts.
我也不觉得这是通风口
I don't think it's the vent, either...
伙计们 你们能不能他妈的闭嘴一会儿
Hey, guys, shut the fuck up for a second.
罚单 乱停车被罚了六十刀
Ticket... 60 bucks for street cleaning.
六十刀 - 什么
60 bucks? - What?
你知道这么多钱够我们买♥♥多少玉米热狗吗
You know how many corndogs we could buy with that?
大概 三箱 - 对 很多玉米热狗
Like, three boxes. - Yeah, a lot of corndogs.
六十个啊 大概一刀一个 - 是啊
60. They're, like, going for a dollar. - Yeah.
我搞不懂Alice
I don't understand Alice.
她用残疾停车位阻塞了停车场的大动脉
She clogs up the parking lot arteries with all these handicap spots,
让普通人不能停车
where regular people can't even park.
真是畸形停车法
It's all mutant parking.
谁知道有个车还会带来这么大的累赘
Who knew having a car was gonna be such a drag?
我就想知道Drake是怎么管理整只舰队的
Makes you wonder how somebody like Drake handles their entire fleet.
他来自一个法律松散的国家
Yeah, well, he's from a lawless country.
那里没有法律可言 这里是美国
There's no laws. Here in the U.S.,
你得在这套体制下工作
you gotta work within the system.
好吧 如果你想要一个残疾停车位
Okay, if you want a handicap parking pass,
你得去弄一个残疾人停车证
you gotta go out and get a handicap parking pass.
你得从内部打破这套体系
You gotta beat the system up from the inside.
就像饶舌歌♥手和小妞 因为他们征服了她们
Like rappers with vaginas. Like, because they beat 'em.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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