工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E15
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:43 p.m.
我的好兄弟在这呢
These are my guys right here.
离她们远点 色狼 - 伙计
Oh, stay back! - Oh, dude.
这里的波霸真是魅力无法挡啊
The Booty cheeks in here are flagrant.
她们太赞了 - 是啊
They are clapping. - Yes, they are.
是时候去
I think it's time to, uh,
为了情人节约会全力进攻了 兄弟们
home in on some Valentine's day dates, dudes.
太棒了
Oh, yeah.
看看那边那个豪放女 很赞吧
Check out this slut-tress over here,huh?
噢天哪
Oh, my God.
我从来没看过这种东西
Oh, man, I have never seen anything like it.
她肯定对男性生殖器很感兴趣
She's absolutely obsessed with the male human penis.
这很好 因为我们也有
And that is awesome, because we have those things.
对 我今天早上看的时候还有呢
Yeah, last time I checked, I had one, this morning.
你能帮我们留着这三个位置吗 谢了
Could you save our spot, please? Thank you!
帅哥警报 美男来袭
Uh-oh, dude alert, flying in.
原谅我们的打扰
Pardon the interruption...
这句话比一场精彩的比赛更重要
Is more than a cool show about sports.
因为这是你未来的爱人对你说的第一句话
It's also the first word you heard your future lover spout.
你们这帮女生在玩什么
Yeah, what's your girls' story?
你们被男性生殖器赞助了吗 好酷
Are you sponsored by penis, or what? 'cause that's cool.
你们跟我们说话吗
Are you guys talking to us?
当然啦 你这个傻瓜
Uh, yeah, you idiot.
当然是在跟你们讲话
Of course we are.
让我来按顺序介绍一下我们三个大帅哥吧
I feel like some intros are in order.
我左边这个是Blake
This rock star to my I-izz-eft is Bl-izz-ake.
小布是这一带深喉技巧最棒的
And Blizz be sporting one of the most deep-throatable "Lap hogs-sah"
大鸡鸡先生
in this piece.
太好了
Fantastic.
噢 噢 噢 噢
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
那玩意出不来了
Oh, can't get it out!
我们把这个叫做德国电子音乐
We call that the "German house music" right there.
这个喝香槟的高瘦居家男Andre
And this tall drink of champagne over here is the homey Andre.
他的舌头功夫超强
He will lap you up.
跟小狗喝水一样
Like a dog drinking water.
噢 他很渴 他好饥渴
Oh, he's thirsty. Oh, he's thirsty.
压轴的 是绝对不基的
Last, but definitely not gay...
超级直男
Straight dude.
我的主攻手飞狼 也就是Adam
My main man Airwolf, aka Adam.
他是那种你们不想带回家
He's the kind of guy that you don't
介绍给老妈认识的男生 告诉她们为什么
want to bring home to mom. Tell 'em why.
因为我会上了你妈
'Cause I'll fuck your mom.
这
Ah...
啊
Ow!
啊
Ow!
我不明白
I don't get it.
我的追女攻势这么正确
I felt like I played that exactly right.
她居然钉我的头
And she stabbed me in the head.
我还能说什么呢
What can I say?
又一个和好兄弟共度的情人节
Another Valentine's day with my boys,
一起吃库卡披萨店的心形比萨
eating heart-shaped pizza from Rancho Cucapizza.
好美味 - 天啊
Yummy. - Oh!
我们应该在吃库卡牧场的小妞才对
Guys, we should be eating Rancho Cuca-penoche
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
我们排练五个小时Lisa Loeb的歌♥
And we did not rehearse that Lisa Loeb song
可不是为了在这干坐着的 兄弟们
for five hours not to serenade our Valentine's day dates,dudes.
我讨厌这些让我伤心的事
This is making me sad and I hate being sad
我们去干些让人开心的事吧
Let's go do something un-sad.
比如在大屏幕上看毛♥片♥
Like watching pornog together on the big screen.
听起来好赞
That sounds awesome.
不 难道你们还不懂吗
No! Don't you understand?
黄♥片♥正是我们不懂和女生交流的原因
Porno's the reason we don't know how to talk to girls.
什么
What?
毛♥片♥正是我们不懂和女生交流的原因
Pornog is the reason we don't know how to talk to girls anymore.
它让我们的大脑熔化成
Okay, it's melteing our brains into...
某种"黄"浆 之类的东西
Porn juice or something, I don't know.
我们要会一下真正的女人
But we got to meet real chicks
不然我们不可能成为真男人的
or else we're never gonna be real men.
好吧 说得对
Okay, sure.
那你怎样才可能在距情人节还有48小时
But where are you supposed to meet real chicks
的时候遇到真正的女人呢
with 48 hours until the big day?
"美女聊天网"
Realchixxxchat.com
网络妓♥女♥ 不是吧
Webcam girls? Come on.
这是毛♥片♥ 对吧 - 嗯
This is pornog, right? - Mm-mm.
不好意思
I'm sorry.
这些是碰巧在上网的真女人 懂吗
These are real girls that happen to be online,right?
她们在找我们这些活在真实世界的绅士
Looking for real guys like us in the real world.
是啊 她们是坐在电脑那边的的真女人
Yeah, they're real chicks, they're just sitting there.
有时候吃吃东西 有时候自♥慰♥一下
Sometimes they're eating food, sometimes they're masturbating.
而且这些真的女人是在单干呢
Plus these real chicks are going solo.
所有人都知道黄♥片♥需要两个人去干
Everybody knows it takes two to porno
不好意思 是毛♥片♥ Blake - 谢了
Pardon me, pornog, Blake. - Oh, thank you.
天了个大噜
Holy wobbly-woos.
这里有超级大♥波♥霸
We got bb-dubs.
有施虐女王
We got some dominatrix.
还有肌肉美女 - 我喜欢这类型的
Muscle babes. - I'm into that.
我喜欢大胸上的青筋
I like vascularity in the breasts..
快来看看这个戴着Tina Fey眼镜的女生
Oh, check out this girl with the Tina fey glasses.
我可不介意跟霸道的她共度春宵
I wouldn't mind getting in her bossy pants.
时髦漂亮 久经风雨
Stylish, sophisticated.
这里说她叫Justanna
It says her name is Justanna.
哇
Ooh.
代金券 我们喜欢代金券
Tokens, we love tokens.
她简直是女神
She's magnificent!
你知道什么感觉最美好吗
You know what feels really good?
代金券
Tokens.
她美得让人无法呼吸
She's breathtaking.
她在拍打她下面
She's slapping her pussy
很优雅地拍打着
elegantly.
哇 看下聊天室里那些男的
Wow,look at all the dudes in this room.
这个聊天室挤满了人 天哪
It's a packed house, check it out.
他们都在打量她
They're all checking a load of her.
我刚画了这幅画
I just painted this one,
因为我喜欢漂亮的瞭望台
because I love beautiful lookout points.
淘到宝了 她还是个艺术型美女
Zoiks! She's an art babe!
我觉得我爱上她了
Me thinks I'm in love.
噢 谢谢你的打赏 kevinjamesfan6
Ooh,thanks for the tip, kevinjamesfan6.
天啊 这些男人简直是禽兽 - 下一个私聊的对象
Oh, God! These guys are animals. - The next guy to go private
可以看到我完成一幅杰作
gets to see me paint a masterpiece.
快点私聊 - 等等
Go private. - Wait.
它只收信♥用♥卡♥
It's credit card only though.
我不管 我要定她了
I don't care. I'm on it, boys.
赞 - 太好了 上吧
Oh, yeah. - That's okay, yeah, baby.
等等等等 - 拯救她吧
Wait, wait, wait, wait... - Saving her life.
在我们荣幸地
Before we take the honor
和Justanna私聊之前 我们先立个君子协议
of going private with Justanna, I wanna make it clear
我们要管住下半身
that we do not crank down
不管发生了任何事
under any circumstances.
我们要像淑女一样对待她
We will treat her like a lady.
我们对她要像对待真的女人一样
We will treat her like a real chick.
但怎样才算管不住下半身
You know, but what is the definition of "cranking down"?
管不住下半身就是
The definition of "cranking down" is
忍♥不住用手抓着你那里 然后拼命摩擦
grabbing your penis and thrusting it
直到达到高♥潮♥
until you climax.
抓着那里然后拼命摩擦 当然不会
Grabbing your penis and thrusting it? Sure.
很好 - 我保证
Cool,cool. - I promise.
来吧
Here we go.
你们好啊 帅哥们
Ooh, hey, boys.
你好
Hey!
哇 三个男生
Wow, three boys?
简直爱不完呢
So much to love.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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