工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S03E03
Part 4
June 28, 2021, 1:41 p.m.
想不想跟着哥
You wanna roll with me,
吃顿午饭 统治世界啊
grab some lunch, rule the world?
抱歉 我在打电♥话♥ 等会再说
I'm sorry, I'm on the phone... just one second.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 老子走人了
Fuck this. I'm outta here.
成了
All right.
大肥肥 小伙伴 冷静点
Big fat, my man, chill out.
我们都被冲昏头了 也许是被屁崩得
We're all a little worked up, probably from that fart.
哥们 我本来还在兴头上
Dude, that was a barn burner!
嗨 咱能不能好说好商量
Hey, come on, let's be feasible or whatever.
慢着点 给我们几天好吗
Slow down. Give us a few days, okay?
我们能把这件事解决的
We're gonna figure this out.
我们不需要解决任何事
We don't need to figure anything out.
我去把车停街上了
I'm gonna go park the car on the street.
我们坐公交呗
We'll take the bus.
保护环境 匹夫有责
Do our part. Save the planet!
拉倒吧 我们需要那个停车证
Okay, I give up. We need that pass
因为我不能坐公交
because I cannot ride the bus.
流浪汉都用我的头发擦手
Homeless people wipe their hands off in my hair.
所以说这事需要数学思维啊 夫人
So once again, it is arithmetic, milady.
说实话 我真的很担心你
And if I'm being real, I'm worried about you, man.
你的补偿金花光后怎么办
What are you gonna do when your disability runs out?
诶 - 你怎么也这么说
Huh? - Really? You too?
你表弟说得没错
Hey, your cuz, he's right.
遇到那令人发指的事故
That horrific accident you were in,
你已经撞大运了
that was lucky.
不会再让你撞上第二次了
And we can't make lightning strike luck twice.
真的不能
We can't.
真的不能吗
Or can we?
是福不是祸
Make lightning do what Blake...
是祸躲不过
Said it doesn't do.
劳工保险 只要受工伤
Workman's comp. You get hurt at work,
赔款从天降
the checks don't stop.
你确定这不是造谣吗
How do we even know this is something that's real?
拜托 美国伤心难过的爹们老干这种事
Oh, come on, sad dads across America do it all the time.
说不定现在就有一个呢
Probably one doing it right now.
哥们 让我三思下
Guys, I'm just gonna think about this.
大英雄要被吓得尿裤子了吗
I didn't know a hero could be such a big pussy.
放马过来吧
Suit me up.
赞呀 - 好嘞
Yes! - All right!
爽啊 - 这一定会特炫酷
Yeah! - It's gonna be cool!
这就是我一直在说的啊 兄弟
That's what I'm talking about, brother.
准备好了吗 -开扔
Ready? - Throw!
哇哦
Whoa!
你真牛逼 你真牛逼
You got some air! You got some air!
你摔着哪了没 - 没
Did you break anything? - Nope.
额啊 - 完好无损
Unh! - Nothin'.
不是吧 - 你干嘛呢 Devin
What? - What are you doing, Devin?
我 滑了一跤
I... fell.
不是 是我们推的他 好吗
No, we pushed him, okay?
这家伙想回他的地下室里宅着
This guy wants to go back to living in his basement,
所以我们要让他领劳工保险
so we're giving him workman's comp
和他交换一个残疾人停车证
in exchange for a handicap parking pass.
我多希望有人跟我说过
I wish somebody would have told me
我要在周六上班
that I was working on Saturday,
因为这也太悲剧了
'cause this is just sad.
本来这一天应该是
All of this on the day that would have been
我家猫咪Brent的27周岁纪念日
my cat Brent's 27th birthday in human years.
它连过山车都没坐成
He never even got to ride a roller coaster.
我对此表示难过 但是请不要责备大肥肥
Sorry about your cat, but don't blame big fat.
来呀 来呀 来呀 来呀
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
你们也太悲哀了
You guys are just as sad.
我本来不该说这个的
I... I shouldn't even say this,
但是我过来是为了告诉你们
but I was coming in here to tell you
你又有一张罚单了 - 啥
you're getting another ticket. - What?
我刚刚才挪的
I just moved it!
嗨 一会见 大肥肥
Hey, we'll see you later, big dude.
不论如何还是谢了 - 拜拜
Thanks anyways. - Later.
我过几个星期会回来
I'll come over in a few weeks,
吃点小蛋糕的
eat some tortas.
搞什么啊 这也太不公平了吧
This can't be happening. I just want a fair shake!
我就不能只 你
Can I just get a... You!
都是你的错 看我不扒了你的奶
This is your fault. I'm gonna rip your tits off
把它们当饭碗使 听懂了吗
and use 'em as cereal bowls! You get me?
小心清洁车
The cleaners!
天哪
Holy !
你还好吗 刚才吓死人了 - 差点玩完了
Are you okay? That was insane! - That was a close call.
吓死人了 - 我们还以为你死定了
That was insane! - Oh, we thought we lost you.
我觉得那是不可能的 兄弟
I don't think that's gonna happen, buddy.
我的老天爷 看看他的腿
Oh, my God! Dude look at his leg!
当一个人只想吃零食 看电视的时候
Who needs a leg when all you wanna do is
要腿还有什么用
eat doritos and watch Brazzers all day?
成功了 - 太棒啦
We did it! - Yeah!
屌♥啊 我们真成功了 - 就是有点 没错
Oh, damn, we kinda did. - Just... yeah.
这座城市要欠你百万大钞了
The city's gonna owe you millions.
不是几千就行
If not thousands.
现在谁能在我原地挂掉前
Hey, now, somebody tie something around my leg
把我腿绑起来 就做点手活
before I croak out here, you hand jobs!
懂得 懂得 我来把你捆上
No, I got it. I gotcha. I'll belt you up.
Devin 我在窗户边看得一清二楚
Devin, I saw the whole thing from the window.
你还好吧 - 哦 Jullian 我还好
Are you okay? - Oh, Jillian, yeah.
我不会有事的 - 很好 因为 看着我
I'll be fine. - Good, 'cause look at me.
我们一定要让咱们的猫咪搞上
We are definitely gonna have our cats .
你不想和我这种货色混在一起
You know, you don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me.
我不过是个又肥又圆的 - 英雄
I'm just a big ol' fat... - Hero.
你是个又肥又圆的英雄
You're a big ol' fat hero.
我错看你了 你理应得到每一分补偿金
I was wrong about you, man. You deserve every cent coming to you for this.
不 伙计 我也错看你了 你并不是基佬
No, bro. I was wrong about you. You're not gay at all.
虽然还有可能是双性恋
You're probably bi, though.
他当然是双性恋 - 我的老天
He's definitely bi. - Oh, God!
厉害啊 - 我感觉有人被坑了
That's cool. - That's cheating, I feel.
耶 耶
Yeah.Yeah.
到了
There it is.
电影不错
Ah, good movie.
电影不错 - 的确不错
That's a good movie. - Great movie.
瞧瞧这些抢普通车位的屌♥丝们
Look at all these suckers in regular parking.
你个小贱♥人♥ 我们残废了
You're a bitch! We're handicapped!
哥们 你的大肥肥表哥真是帅爆了
Dude, your cousin big fat is the man!
没错 我们Demamps家可是人才辈出
Yeah, us Demamps are pretty raw dog as a people.
开始我不喜欢他 但后来他证明了自己
Didn't like the guy at first, but he came through.
拭目以待咱们的
And here we ar...
我了个草
W-t ?
Alice 我要求你告诉我
Alice, I demand to know what you did
你对那个残疾专用位干了什么 嗯
with that bonus handicap parking space. Hmm?
你管它干嘛
Why do you care?
我们可是残疾英雄的忠实拥护者
Come on, we are advocates for the Handi-Captains,
你应该了解我们的感受
and that's the one thing you should know about us.
你应该了解哟
You should know that about us.
你看 你们之前走进来
Look, you came in here the other day,
口口声声说我们不需要它
said we didn't need it.
我想了想 觉得你们是对的
I thought about it, and you were right.
不 Alice - 不
No. Alice. - No.
啥 - 我们还能是对的
What? - We were right?
看看我们干过的事 我们就没对过
Let's look at history. We're never right.
看看他 看看我 像对的样子吗
Does this guy... Do I look right?
像对的样子吗
Does this look right?
回到你们的电♥话♥边上 好吗
Look, please just go back to the phones, okay?
我今天没心情和你们较真
I am not in the mood for this today.
旧办公室显然是被一些流浪汉闯人过
Apparently, some homeless people broke into the old offices
他们还把所有东西都毁了
and destroyed everything.
流浪汉嘛 不能信的
Homeless people. Can't trust 'em.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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