我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E10

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

you're gonna be pulling shorts out of the dirty laundry
你就会从髒衣服堆裡捡短裤穿
and eating wings on the crapper without even trying.
想都不想的在马桶上吃鸡翅
Okay.
好吧
Training begins immediately,
训练马上开始
because tomorrow you have an audition
因为明天你就要去
for Entourage 2.
试镜<明星伙伴2>
Entourage 2?
<明星伙伴2>
I can't. Those guys are so straight.
我不行那帮人太直了
Almost too straight.
直到不能再直了
Like they're compensating for something?
直到好像在掩饰什麽一样
Yeah. Two of them are.
是啊他们中的两个是这样的
Wait, are those former clients or role models?
等下那是之前客户还是角色范本啊
It begins now!
现在就开始
I'm sorry, Dong, but...
抱歉 Dong 不过
Oy! We're not mates.
我们不是朋友
I'm with Logan now. Get off of the barbie!
我现在跟Logan在一起了你离本姑娘远一点
That's not British.
这不是英伦腔
This is-a how you talka the British.
英国人是这样说话的
I'ma soften the blow by a-talka the British.
我要缓和语气然后像个英国人那样讲话
Okay, that's good.
好好多了
I'm so sorry, Hu Zha Qi.
我很抱歉胡渣齐
This is your fault.
这就是你的错
I hope you die, become ghost,
我巴不得你死了变成鬼
fly around the room.
在这个屋子裡飘来飘去
That make everybody happy.
那样大家就都开心了
Kimmy, what are you doing here?
Kimmy 你在这干嘛
What happened? Where is everyone?
发生什麽了大家都哪去了
Immigration raided the restaurant.
移♥民♥局突袭了这个饭店
They took everyone...
他们带走了所有人
Cooks, waiters, dishwashers.
厨子服务员洗碗工
I was out on a delivery,
我当时在送外卖
or else they would have gotten me too.
不然他们就把我也抓走了
Thank God Fordham Law school students smoke so much weed.
多亏了福特汉姆法学院的学生抽了那麽多大♥麻♥
Dong, that's so scary.
Dong 那也太吓人了
And the owner says that they came here looking for me.
店长说他们是来找我的
You can't stay here. Go home!
你不能呆在这啊快回家
This is my home!
这就是我家
Hu Zha Qi let me sleep on the grill.
胡渣齐让我睡在烤架上
If you time it right, it's very cozy.
要是时间调的对还是很惬意的
Hey.
嘿
Almost forgot this.
差点忘了这个
If we don't give you a receipt,
我们要是不给你收据
then the whole raid is free.
这次突袭就白乾了
And if that Dong Nguyen comes back,
要是Dong Nguyen回来了
you guys let us know.
你们记得通知我们
You got it, chief.
收到警官
That's it. You're coming with me.
够了你跟我来
You can sleep on the couch.
你可以睡在沙发上
Oh, no. Is that my leg hole?
哦不那是我踹的洞吗
It's okay.
没事
I'm pretty good friends
我和住在裡面的
with the pregnant raccoon who lives in there.
准浣熊妈妈处的还不错
Kimmy, I'm afraid I ruined everything between us.
Kimmy 是我毁了我们之间的关係的吧
Look, Dong, it's not anyone's fault.
听著 Dong 并不是谁的错
It's just, I have so much fun with you.
只是我和你在一起很开心
Remember when we took the tram to Roosevelt Island?
还记得坐缆车去罗斯福岛那次吗
And we realized it was just one wire holding us up?
后来我们发现吊著我们的就一根缆绳
We started screaming and screaming,
吓得咱们不停的尖叫
and then all the commuters started screaming too.
然后所有乘客都开始大叫
Because they were seeing it through our eyes.
因为他们从咱们的眼睛裡看到了
And we agree on everything, Kimmy.
我们的看法那麽一致 Kimmy
Like how it's so weird that people
比如人们现在倡导的"食当地当季"
want to "Eat local."
我们都觉得奇怪
Yeah, I don't want to eat a bird I might know.
是呢我可不想吃我可能认识的鸟
And what's with all the bottled water?
还有瓶装水到底是怎麽回事
Why is everyone so thirsty all the time?
为什麽大家总是渴到不行啊
"Duh, I've been awake for one second.
呐我已经醒了一秒了
I better have some water."
我得喝点水
"Oh, I better carry my water with me
哦在我去买水的路上
while I walk to the water store."
最好也随身带著水
Listen, Dong, I need you to know...
听我说 Dong 你要知道
that Logan is my boyfriend,
Logan是我男朋友
so you and I...
所以你和我
will just be friends.
只能是朋友
Okay. Friends.
好吧朋友
Hello, Sugar Walls.
哈喽小美"逼"
Nope.
不对
All right. Hi.
好的嗨
Listen, my parents are blimping into town tomorrow,
我父母明天要坐飞艇来
and I would love it if you would join us for dinner.
要是你能跟我们一起吃晚餐就再好不过了
Your parents? Boy.
你父母天
Okay. Sure.
好的没问题
Wonderful.
太棒了
So they're landing sometime between 4:00 and 7:00,
他们大约在4点到7点之间著陆
somewhere between 45th Street and Bucks County.
降落在45号街道和巴克郡之间某地
Easy, girl.
放轻鬆小姑娘
Okay.
好的
I can't wait for you to meet Mom,
我等不及让你见我妈了
but especially Daddy.
尤其是我爸
Oh, Kimmy,
哦 Kimmy
I'm so glad we were able to put
我们能把那些不愉快抛在脑后
all that unpleasantness behind us.
我真是太欣慰了
Uh... me, too.
呃我也是
Till then.
到时见
Come on, darling.
走起来啊宝贝
That's right. Come on.
对咯走起来
Oh, my God. Kimmy.
天呐 Kimmy
This is your apartment?
这是你的公♥寓♥
You're so poor. It's perfect.
你也太穷了太好了
scenario, two straight men attend a movie.
场景两个直男一起看电影
Go.
开始
No!
不对
You leave a buffer seat.
你得留一个空位
scenario, you're thirsty. Go.
情景你渴了开始
No.
不对
Straight men don't drink through straws.
直男从不用吸管
It looks like you're a leprechaun's .
跟爱尔兰小精灵似的
scenario I'm a coworker,
场景我是你一同事
telling you a sad story at a bar after work.
下班后在酒吧跟你讲一个悲伤的故事
I go, "My wife, she's so sick.
假如我说我老婆得了重病
She got Ebola from a toilet seat."
被马桶座圈传染了埃博拉
No!
不对
First of all, you're drinking beer.
首先你得喝啤酒
And straight men never give any indication
然后直男从不表露任何
they're listening.
他们在听的迹象
They don't even nod.
他们也不会点头
Now, you listen, stone-faced, like a man,
现在听著面无表情像个男人一样
no matter what!
不管发生什麽
Elton John just died.
埃尔顿·约翰刚刚死了
I like acid-washed jeans.
我喜欢酸洗牛仔裤
Madonna is overrated!
麦当娜完全被高估了
Xanthippe Lannister Voorhees,
Xanthippe Lannister Voorhees
if this is your idea of a joke,
要是这是你开的一个玩笑
you belong in a Woody Allen film
你丫就真适合伍迪·艾伦的电影
because I am not laughing.
因为我完全没被逗乐
I am at the address you sent me.
我现在到了你发给我的地址这儿了
I'm going to ring the buzzer,
我要去摁门铃了
but if I get murdered,
要是我被杀了
for God's sake,
看在上帝的份上
drag my body below 96th Street,
把我的尸体拖过第96街