我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E05

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

I'm managing the pet store in town.
我现在是镇上的宠物店的经理
And Brandon and I are moving into a new house.
Brandon和我还准备要乔迁新居了
It's got an above-ground pool and an in-ground trampoline.
内置高层泳池和内嵌式蹦床
Cool! Wait a minute! Did you get a tattoo?
酷等等你纹了身吗
Yeah, I saw it on a Chinese menu,
是啊我在中餐菜单上看到的
and I just fell in love with it.
爱上了无法自拔
It means "Bean curd."
是"豆腐"的意思
Brandon got a matching one for our one-month anniversary,
Brandon纹了个情侣款来庆祝我们相爱一个月
but there was a mix-up, so his is in English.
不过当时有点搞混了所以他的是英文的
Ah, wow. Matching tattoos.
噢哇情侣纹身
Yeah. It's real popular now,
是啊现在好流行的
like taking pictures of your food or being biracial.
和晒美食照还有当混血儿一样
Gosh, Cyndee.
天哪 Cyndee
I am so proud of you.
我真为你感到骄傲
You're really living your life!
你过得就是你梦寐以求的生活
Well, it seems like you're doing pretty great too.
看起来你也过得不错啊
Yeah.
是的
This guy at work, we kissed today.
我工作的地方有个男的今天亲了我
In the pantry!
在食品储藏间
This is boring!
这无聊爆了
So you kissed somebody!
你不就亲了个谁
Everybody kisses things.
谁没亲过啊
White people kiss their dogs.
白人连狗都亲
You lived in a bunker.
你们可是在地底生活过的
Where did you go to the bathroom?
你们当时怎麽上厕所啊
Did anybody try to eat anybody?
有没有谁试图吃掉谁啊
Was there ever a moment where you were like,
是否有那麽一瞬间你们念头一闪觉得
"The real prison is in my mind"?
"挣不开的不是禁锢而是自己的心"
I am as God made me.
天生脑补难自弃
Where have you been, mister?
你上哪儿去了小哥
Well, I wanted to let you two catch up,
我想给你们点时间叙旧嘛
so I went and got you flowers
所以我出门去给你买了花
from the flower district.
从超♥市♥花木区买的
And from the Meatpacking District...
从肉类加工区买了
Meat. Ah, thank you!
肉喔谢谢
I love them.
我超喜欢的
Hi, I'm Brandon.
嗨我是Brandon
Titus Andromedon. Star on the rise.
我是Titus Andromedon 冉冉上升的明星
Kimberly, a word.
Kimberly 借一步说话
You asked me to help you keep an eye on Cyndee, correct?
你让我帮你多照顾Cyndee 对不对
Yeah, but now you don't need to.
对啊不过现在看来不用了
I underestimated her.
是我小瞧她了
She's got a job and a house
她现在有工作有房♥住
and a guy who brings her the traditional meat and flowers
还有个男人给她买花买肉
of Indiana courtship.
我印第安纳州的求偶传统
Yeah, that boy's gay.
是哦那小伙子是基佬
What? Gay as a penguin.
什麽跟企鹅一样基
Educate yourself.
你可长点心吧
Read a nature video. He's not gay.
眼前就是活生生的例子他才不是基佬呢
Gay hasn't even gotten to Indiana yet.
基佬还没入侵印第安纳州
There have been rumors in Ohio.
俄亥俄州倒是流言四起了
I know small-town gay, Kimmy.
我能认得出小镇型的基佬 Kimmy
Brandon has a tan line where he usually wears a leather cuff.
Brandon有个日晒时被皮手环挡住留下的白印圈
He's from Indiana, but he weighs less than 200 pounds.
他从印第安纳州来但还没九十公斤重
And there's a stain on his jeans that could only be
还有他牛仔裤上有块污渍只有可能是
from re-varnishing an Edwardian escritoire.
给一张爱德华七世款写字檯重新上漆时留下的
What? It's gay for "Desk."
什麽呀这是基佬说"书桌"的行话
Ugh! You're being ridiculous, Titus.
呃你太扯了 Titus
Titus! When are us guys going to talk about cars?
Titus 咱们男人什麽时候能聊聊车啊
Huh, Titus. Brandon is into cars.
哈 Titus Brandon喜欢车
Kimberly, a word.
Kimberly 借一步说话
That was smoke and mirrors, Kimmy,
那是烟雾弹障眼法(烟和镜子) Kimmy
two things gay men love.
两个都是基佬的心头大好
And I'd call him out on it if I knew anything about cars.
我哪怕懂一丁点关于车的知识我都能马上拆穿他
Did I say that right? "Curs."
是这麽说的吗 "册"
"Coors." Stop it.
"插" 你够了
Why would a gay man even want to be with Cyndee, Titus?
为什麽会有基佬想和Cyndee在一起呢 Titus
I... what would he possibly get out of that?
我说他能从中得到什麽啊
Very well! I'm sure you're right.
好得很我觉得你一定是对的
There's no way Brandon's gay.
Brandon不可能是基佬
Which means you wouldn't care if I tried to seduce him.
也就是说你不会介意我去勾引他了
What? I'm just saying.
什麽我就这麽一说
Obviously, I'll fail.
很显然我必定会失败的
Because Cyndee's boyfriend is super straight, right?
因为Cyndee的男朋友笔直的不行对不对
Right. Do whatever you want.
对你爱咋咋
The wheels are already in motion.
如箭在弦了
So, Brandon,
那谁 Brandon
tell me about yourself.
自我介绍一下呗
What do you like to do?
你有些什麽兴趣爱好
I'm just a regular guy.
我就是个普通人
I like, uh, NASCAR and fishing,
我呢喜欢纳斯卡车赛和钓鱼
you know, quoting Borat,
引用引用<波拉特>裡的台词啦
setting up universal remotes,
设置一下通用遥控器啦
and, of course, Vegas, baby.
还有拉斯维加斯必须的啊亲
Come on.
来吧
Let's go someplace else.
咱们换个地儿
Let's go to the fanciest place in Manhattan.
咱们去曼哈顿最赞的地儿
Did you know some places call shrimp "Prawns"?
你知道有些地方管虾叫做"明虾"吗
I do now.
我现在知道了
We could get a reservation anywhere.
我们在哪儿都能订上位
Just call up and say we're Mole Women.
只要打个电话说我们是鼹鼠女
What? No.
什麽不行
I don't tell anyone about that.
那事儿我谁都没告诉
Really? Kimmy, that's crazy.
真的吗 Kimmy 你太傻了
Because when people find out you're a Mole Woman,
人们一旦发现你是个鼹鼠女
they feel bad for you and they give you free stuff!
他们立马同情心泛滥免费东西滚滚来啊
Is that what you do in Durnsville?
你在登斯维尔就是这麽做的吗
You get stuff because people feel sorry for you?
你坐收礼物因为别人都同情你
Sure. I didn't finish middle school.
当然了我中学都没毕业
I'm not qualified to run a pet store.
我没资格经营宠物店的
I just said I liked dogs, so they...
我只是说了句我很喜欢狗他们就
Oh, no, I forgot to get someone to cover for me while I'm here.
噢糟了我忘了找个人替我的班了
So... the clothes, the house, the "Curs," The car...
这麽说衣物房♥子 "册" 是"车"啦
that is not an easy word.
这个词不简单啊
It really is pretty great.
真的挺好的
The Durnsville Elks Club is paying for this whole trip,
这整趟行程都由登斯维尔麋鹿俱乐部买单
plus spending money.
全部花销都包了
I want to get a big-city spray tan.
我打算喷一身大城市调调的古铜色
So you both get stuff out of this.
所以你们俩都能从中受益
Ooh, it's the Durnsville Board of Education.
噢是登斯维尔教♥育♥部♥打来的
This year, I get to pick the chapter
今年由我来挑选出
that gets taken out of the science textbook.
科学教科书裡移除的章节
I think I'm going to have the chef salad.
我想我点份主厨推荐的沙拉好了
Who do you like to have sex with?
你想和谁来一炮
Oh, I like hairless guys with a little bit of...
噢我喜欢没什麽毛髮的男人再有点
You are an escritoire!
你果然是张写字檯
I'm a desk?
我是张书桌
I mean, I don't know what that means.
我是说我不懂这词什麽意思
What do you want, dear?
你想干嘛呀亲爱的
I was Rear Window-ing,
我这儿上演真人版<后窗>呢
and it was just starting to get good.
刚到精彩处啊
The old man on the third floor's stuck in the tub.
三楼的老头儿卡在浴缸裡了
He's starting to panic.
他开始慌了
Lillian, I'm planning a seduction.
Lillian 我在为引诱戏做准备
A seduction.
引诱啊
I remember those days.
往事历历在目
A cocktail at the bar,
吧檯啜饮一杯鸡尾酒
a conversation held only with the eyes,
眉来眼去欲语还休
and then the two of you retire to the bathroom.
接著俩人转战去到卫生间
I called you because I need you
我喊你是因为我需要你帮个忙