我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E07

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

Titus, what are we doing here?
Titus 我们来这儿干嘛
This place is way too fancy.
这地方太高大上了
Look at how tiny the cups are.
看看那些杯子有多小
Kimmillionaire, you said you wanted to do something
百万富Ki 你说你要
fun and New York-y before your boss got back into town.
在你老闆回来前当回纽约客啊
Well, since The Queen Latifah Show
可惜<奎恩拉蒂法秀>把我从观众名单裡拉黑了
has a lifetime audience ban on me, we're doing this.
我们只能这样
But it's so expensive.
可是这也太贵了
A "Noise-etty ma-shee-at-o" Is 12 "Doe-lairz"?
一杯"基嗷"糖玛奇朵就要12"可无艾"麽
It's not about the money.
这不是钱的事
If I've learned anything from living in this city, it's this:
如果说我在这个城市学到了什麽那就是
act like you belong, and the world is your oyster.
假装属于这裡你就可以兴风作浪了(世界就是你的牡蛎了)
Aw, gross.
好噁心
Can't the world be my noodles and butter?
世界就不能是我麵条和黄油吗
They're on their way over.
他们要过来了
Just follow my lead.
跟著我的节奏就是了
Hello?
喂
I'm sorry.
不好意思
The tables are for paying customers only, so...
这些桌子是为消费的客人准备的所以
卢米埃尔贝尔
Lumiere. Belle.
你在睡觉吗你在睡觉吗约翰哥哥
Frere Jacques, frere Jacques,
I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉
Take all the time you need.
你们请随意
Sir, madam.
先生女士
Ooh, "Madam."
噢女士
You stay here.
你呆在这
I'm gonna fill this up with fancy liquid soap.
我去装点高级洗手液
碧昂斯
Beyoncé.
**Unbreakable*
*简直坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧槽
**It's a miracle*
*真是个奇迹
**Unbreakable*
*坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧槽
**But females are strong as hell*
*但是女人们可真牛逼啊
**Unbreakable*
*简直坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧槽
**It's a miracle*
*真是个奇迹
**Unbreakable*
*简直坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧槽
**That's gonna be, uh...*
*接下来是
**you know, a fascinating transition*
*就是华丽的变身
**Damn it*
*卧槽
Put Walt Disney's head on the phone.
把电话放华特迪斯尼头边
Then wake it up.
那就叫醒它啊
Julian Rommel Voorhees.
Julian Rommel Voorhees
Jacqueline.
Jacqueline
What are you doing in Beijing?
你来北♥京♥干什麽
I've been here for two weeks
我已经在这呆了两礼拜了
waiting for you to get back from wherever you got that tan.
等你从不知道哪做日光浴的地方回来
My tan?
什麽日光浴
I was out on an investor's boat doing some whale dynamiting.
我去投资者的船上炸鲸鱼
Did you fly 7,000 miles just to accost me?
你不会飞了7000英里就为和我搭几句话吧
Hey. Eyes up here.
嘿往上看
You don't get these feet.
这双脚可轮不到你碰
You're withholding the twins?
你不准我碰小双子吗
Feet are for good boys, not for liars and cheaters.
脚是留给好男人的不给吃锅望盆的骗子
Oh, for God's sake.
我了个去啊
Is that what this is about?
你就是想说这个
You think I'm having an affair?
你觉得我有外遇
You've done it before.
你这也不是第一次了
With you.
和你外遇啊
And that was different.
而且那不一样
My first wife...
我的第一任妻子
Turned 50. I know.
过50岁了我知道
And I would never do that to you.
我永远也不会那样对你的
So what's the problem, Jacqueline?
所以到底有什麽事 Jacqueline
What's the problem?
什麽事
You haven't been home in months.
你已经几个月没回家了
I had to Photoshop you into this year's Christmas card.
今年的圣诞卡里的你都是PS上去的
Well, I'm heading back to New York now,
我就要回纽约了
but I apologize for working so hard.
不过我道歉是我太专注于工作了
I guess I could make less money.
也许我该少赚点钱
You leave the money out of this.
你别把钱扯进来
It's not the money's fault.
这不是钱的错
And whom exactly am I supposed to be having this affair with?
那你倒是觉得我在和谁搞外遇呢
Am I sleeping with my assistant, Fat Rhonda?
难道我睡了我的助理肥Rhonda麽
Of course not.
当然不是
Hey, I get mine.
嘿我也有我的市场
It's all about that bass.
现在最火的就是肥臀
You know what Dr. Goodman would say to you right now?
你知道Goodman医生现在会对你说什麽吗
That I need to talk to the Shame Puppet.
我需要和羞耻玩偶聊聊
And what would the Shame Puppet say?
然后羞耻玩偶会说
You're just being paranoid.
你就是太偏执多疑了
Walt, how you doing?
华特最近怎麽样
Hey, Kimmy. 1996 called.
嘿Kimmy 1996年致电
It wants its clothes back.
它想要回它的衣服
Hey, Xan. 2090 called.
嘿Xan 2090年致电
You're dead, and you wasted your time on Earth.
你死了来这世上白来了一趟
Dad, you're back.
爸你回来了
Did Grandma die? Can I have her jewelry?
奶奶死了吗首饰能都留给我吗
No, Grootmoeder is fine. Now, come here.
没她活的好好的好了快过来
You're not too big to give your father
你还是个能给你老爸一个
a firm, business-like handshake.
严肃职业握手礼的小女孩
You're looking well.
你看起来不错
Always a pleasure.
乐意之至
Kimmy, the elevator.
Kimmy 电梯
Jacqueline, the refrigerator.
Jacqueline 电冰箱
What are we doing?
我们在干嘛
Do you think I'm paranoid?
你觉得我偏执多疑吗
No, Vera does say stuff about you behind your back.
不啊 Vera的确有在背后说你
Sometimes she does this thing where she's all...
她经常这样然后说
"Where's my husband?"
我老公去哪了
No, I'm talking about Julian.
不我是说Julian
Oh, right. What happened in China?
噢对在中国发生了什麽
Was everything upside-down there?
所有东西都是上下颠倒的吗
Nothing happened.
什麽也没发生
He just denied everything.
他全都否认了
I might as well have been Congress.
当我是国会一样
Maybe I am crazy.
也许我真的疯了
No, Mrs Voorhees, you have to listen to your gut.
不 Voorhees夫人你得相信你的直觉(肠子)
I don't have a gut, you mother...
我哪来的肠子你特麽
No, no, I mean your women's intuition.
不不我是说女人的直觉
You know that something's wrong.
你知道出问题了
If he's not gonna admit that he's having an affair...
如果他不肯承认他有外遇
I'll have to catch him red-handed.
我就要抓他个现行
His hands will be red 'cause...
他的手会是红的因为
That's okay. No, thank you.
够了谢谢
My grandmother's birthday, January 2, 1934.
我奶奶的生日 1934年1月2号
One-two-three-four.
1 2 3 4
Great PIN, Titus.
多好的密码 Titus
Check balance.
查询余额
Other amount.
其他数额
Accept.
确认
Negative $1?
负1美元
Damn it.
卧槽
Julian took a call in his office.
Julian在办公室裡接了个电话
I heard him laughing through the door.
隔著门都能听到他的笑声
I just wish I knew who he was talking to.
我好想知道他在和谁说话
Maybe Gallagher?
可能是Gallagher
Obviously listening in on my husband's phone calls
很明显偷听丈夫电话是疯子才干的事