我本坚强（2015）
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
第一季
剧集 | 我本坚强（2015） | 导航列表
我本坚强（2015）
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E01
Part 3
Dec. 2, 2020, 2:50 p.m.
Say no more.
别说了
So let's get this dirty rent business out of the way.
那我们快点把租♥房♥♥子这档破事撂清楚吧
As you know, we owe Lillian two months' back rent,
如你所知 我们已经欠了Lillian两个月房♥租了
so that's $950.
那是950块
Plus this upcoming month.
加上这个月的
And, of course, there's a one-month security deposit.
当然 还有一个月的押金
Also, ever since you moved in, this lamp stopped working.
还有 自从你搬进来 这灯就不行了
So that's another $100.
所以又是100块
Nice try, Titus.
想得美 Titus
There's no light bulb in there.
裡面根本没灯泡
You got me! You are so very cosmopolitan.
被你发现了 你真世故啊
So what do you want to do tonight?
所以你今晚打算干嘛
Honestly, listen to Diana Ross albums alone
说实话吗 一个人一边听戴安娜罗丝的专辑
while I do my stretches to alleviate my gas.
一边做拉伸排排气
We should go out to celebrate.
我们得出去庆祝庆祝
I mean, I got a job today.
我今天找到工作了
I got an apartment. I met you.
我有地方住了 我遇到了你
I envy you. I've never been able to meet me.
好羡慕你 我都没遇到过我自己
Come on, we should go dancing someplace cool,
来嘛 我们去个酷炫的地方跳舞
like Club Bombay from Moesha.
就像
Whoo! Things are behind in Indiana.
呃 印第安纳还真够落伍的
I'll pay for everything.
我买单
**I'm going out I'm going*
*我去我去
Hey, do you want to party with us?
嘿你想跟我们一起玩吗
Are you into molly?
想来点"莫莉"吗
Am I? She's my favorite American Girl doll.
那可不 她是我最喜欢的"美国女孩"玩偶了
Titus, dancing is about butts now.
Titus 跳舞现在关键的是屁♥股♥了
It is, girl.
没错
It's really, really good.
真棒
Yeah, it's easier to dance.
这样跳舞更简单
Yeah. I'm gonna go get us drinks. Okay.
是啊 我去给我们拿点喝的 好啊
Hello. I do not want to abandon you,
嘿 我不想抛下你的
but I've been invited to have Korean food
不过我被那个合唱团的帅哥
with that pretty chorus boy.
约去吃韩料了
Yes, go have fun. Oh, hey, Titus?
去吧 好好玩 哦对了 Titus
Does this backpack look babyish?
这个双肩包会不会太幼稚
It is a backpack.
这可是个双肩包
Hey. You know what?
嘿 你知道吗
You're the hottest girl in here.
你是这儿最辣的女孩
As if. Opposite day.
说的跟真的似的 在相反♥日♥吧
Ugh, alcohol... tastes good. I like it.
酒精 好好喝 我喜欢
Your hair smells good.
你的头髮好香
They checked it for lice at the hospital.
他们在医院裡检查过我有没有头蝨
I kind of want to kiss you. Yes.
我有点想吻你 好啊
Do it. I'm fine.
来吧 没问题
What the fudge? My backpack.
卧槽 我的包呢
Someone yanked my backpack!
有人抢了我的背包
Don't worry about it.
别管它了
Shut up. My money's in there.
闭嘴 我的钱在裡面
All right, let's go.
好了 你出去
But you got to help me find it.
你得帮我找到它
It's a purple JanSport.
是个紫色的JanSport
Actually, Buckley, this isn't your worst birthday ever.
Buckley 这还不算你最糟糕的生日
You worst birthday ever was when you busted my genitals.
最糟的那次是你猛击了我的下部
I'm so sorry. I was up all night. All my money got stolen,
我很抱歉 我一晚上没睡 我所有的钱都被偷了
and I haven't had a clock since my Tamagotchi died.
自从我的电子鸡死了以后一直都没钟
Uh-uh, this is strike three.
这是你的第三振 出局
What were strikes one and two?
一振二振去哪了
Has baseball changed?
棒球也改规则了吗
Hey, walk of shame. Me, too. Just sat down.
嘿 香艳一夜啊 我也是 刚刚坐下来
You're okay. You're okay. You are a person.
你没事的 你没事的 你是个人
This is your home now.
这是你的家
Look, you have a window.
你还有扇窗
Come on, Kimmy.
加把劲 Kimmy
Come on! You're garbage, Kimmy!
行不行 你这个废物 Kimmy
Reconsider, girl. I was sleeping.
三思啊 姑娘 我还在睡觉呢
They stole my backpack.
他们偷了我的背包
What? I can't do this.
什麽 我做不到
Reverend Richard was right. Wait, who?
Richard牧师是对的 等等 谁
Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne,
Richard Wayne Gary Wayne牧师
senior prophet and CFO of Savior Rick's
高级先知 以及
Spooky Church of the Scary Apocalypse. Foo?
救世主裡奇的恐怖天启之幽灵教堂的首席财务官 啥
I am one of the Indiana Mole Women.
我是四个印第安纳鼹鼠女之一
From the news. Why didn't you tell me?
新闻裡的 你干嘛不告诉我
Because I just want to be a normal person, and I can't.
因为我只想做个普通人 可我做不到
I don't know anything.
我什麽都不知道
I can't tell phones from cameras.
我连手机和相机都分不清
Even policemen have tattoos.
连警♥察♥都有纹身了
Pack up your trifles and whatnots.
把你的破东西都打包好
What? Get your things and go home.
什麽 带上你的东西卷铺盖走人
New York City is not for you.
纽约不适合你
You don't understand. Oh, I do understand.
你不懂 我太懂了
But, Titus... Girl.
但是 Titus 孩子
My name is not Titus.
我不叫Titus
My name is Ronald Wilkerson.
我的真名是Ronald Wilkerson
I came here in 1998 on a damn bus
1998年我坐著辆该死的巴士
from Chickasaw County, Mississippi.
从密西西比州契卡索县来到这儿
You know who leaves Chickasaw County?
你知道有谁离开过契卡索吗
Nobody.
没人
Have you ever met a person from Mississippi?
你有见过从密西西比来的人吗
No, but I haven't met anybody.
没有 但我还没见过什麽人呢
My point is...
我的重点是
This was me then.
这是那时的我
I was cute, just like you.
天真吧 和你一样
Showed my teeth when I smiled, just like you.
一笑八颗牙 和你一样
I changed my name to Titus Andromedon,
我把名字改成了Titus Andromedon
and I marched myself in to audition for The Lion King.
然后去参加了<狮子王>的试音
You were in The Lion King on Broadway?
你在百老汇演<狮子王>
Yes, except I was not.
没错 除了我没有
I auditioned for The Lion King 20 times in 15 years
15年来我去<狮子王>试了20次音
until they finally told me,
直到他们终于告诉我
"You are not passing as a straight giraffe."
"你直成这样是过不了的"
But you are such a good singer. I heard you.
但你唱的那麽好 我听到了
I have not sung in public in three years.
我已经三年没表演过了
You want to know what I do now?
想知道我现在在干嘛吗
I dress up in that robot costume in Times Square,
我穿上那个机器人服去时代广场
and I pass out flyers for an arcade.
帮一个游乐场发传单
My boss is 17 years old, I get paid in quarters,
我老闆才17岁 我工资都是按美分计的
and I'm starting to think
而且我最近突然意识到
cab drivers are hitting me on purpose.
出租车司机是不是故意撞我的
Well, you got out of Mississippi.
可你从密西西比出来了
Escaping is not the same as making it, Kimmy.
逃跑不等于混出头了 Kimmy
I'm very scared to ask you this...
我都不太敢问你这个问题
Yes, there was weird sex stuff in the bunker.
好吧 我们在地底下的确有过彆扭的性行为
Let me finish.
让我说完
How much money was in your backpack?
你包裡有多少钱
$13,000.
一万三
**No, no, no, no*
*不不不不
Why?
为什麽
Take your rent money back, buy yourself a bus ticket,
拿回你的租金 给自己买张车票
and leave this place.
然后离开这裡
But you will be evicted.
但你会被赶出去的
Don't worry about me.
别担心我
I'm pretty but tough, like a diamond...
我很美 但我很坚强 就像鑽石
or beef jerky in a ball gown. Go.
或是穿著晚礼服裙的牛肉乾 走吧
Ugh! Gosh dang it.
该死
Oh, Secret Santa.
噢 神秘圣诞老人
Oh, Cyndee.
噢 Cyndee
I was talking...
我刚才
to my good friend God earlier.
在和我的好朋友上帝聊天
我本坚强（2015）
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
剧集 | 我本坚强（2015） | 导航列表