我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E09

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

'Cause there's no card.
这没有生日贺卡
Did you get this for me?
是你为我准备的吗
I did. Oh, here's the card.
是我贺卡在这
Not. I did not.
好吧不是我
Aw, clothes.
衣物
Hey, there's my birthday girl.
你好我的寿星大美女
I love the shoes and the dress.
我喜欢你送的鞋和裙子
I'm gonna look like one of those fancy ladies
我看上去就会像那些在桥底下晃悠的
with the makeup who hangs out under the bridge.
有著别緻妆容的漂亮姑娘们了
Well, that's just the start of it.
那只是个开始罢了
I'm giving you 30 gifts today.
今天我要送你三十份礼物
Like, more clothes or maybe a mix of fun things?
例如更多的衣服或者什麽有趣的东西
Well, you'll just have to wait to find out, won't you?
你就等著看咯
So I'll see you tonight.
今晚见
Oh, and FYI, they're coming out with a new iPhone today,
对了今天新款iPhone要上市了
which means all our old phones are gonna completely...
就是说所有旧款iPhone会完全
Damn it.
可恶
Ugh, how do you even walk in these things?
穿著这玩意要怎麽走路啊
Oh, well, you know high heels were invented by a man, Kimmy,
Kimmy 没办法高跟鞋是男人发明的
'cause no woman ever invented anything.
因为女人什麽都没发明过
Well, I'm off to The Grind, and then I gotta head to work.
我去趟咖啡店然后就去上班了
Have fun.
上班开心哦
Are you gonna be back in time to help me set up for the party?
你会准时回来帮我布置吗
That's boyfriend stuff.
那是男朋友的事
Boyfriends arrive early and do all the boring stuff
男朋友提早到来做些没人想乾
that no one else wants to do,
的无聊事
like getting ice or this conversation.
比如去买冰块或者是这场对话
All right... A song about my friend Kimmy.
好的挚友Kimmy之歌♥
It's too hard. Why did I say song?
太难了为什麽我要说"歌♥"
Oh, man.
天啊
Hello, pretty monster.
你好帅哥怪兽
Can I help you with your wrap?
我可以帮您包吗
And the most erotic thing is,
最肉慾的是
we haven't seen each other's faces.
我们都没见过对方的脸
I can't believe you invited a stranger to my party, Titus.
难以置信你居然邀请个陌生人来我的派对 Titus
He's not a stranger.
他不是陌生人
I have real deep feelings for Torso.
我对"裸体躯干"有很深的感情
I also don't know his name.
我也不知道他的名字
Look, tonight is about the birthday girl
听著今晚的焦点是我这个寿星
'cause you can't spell "Kimmy" Without "Me."
因为"Kimmy"这个名字有个"我"(Me)在裡面
Yes, you can. You have to.
并没有完全没有
Make yourself useful
有用点
and put together my party playlist.
弄好这些派对音乐
What is this? Vanilla Ice?
这些是什麽鬼 Vanilla Ice
Hootie? Hanson?
Hootie Hanson
**Mmm-nope, nope-n-nope Mmm-nope*
*不行一万个不行
Sorry I don't know Hanson's current hits, Titus.
抱歉我不知道Hanson现在的热单 Titus
I haven't been to a Sam Goody since 1998.
九八年起我就没去过Sam Goody了
I will handle the music.
我来搞定音乐
And it will all be from after the year
曲子的年份均会是
Christina Aguilera started eating hot dogs.
擦妈开始吃热狗之后
Thank you.
感谢
I still have a lot of stuff to do, and no Logan, by the way.
我还有很多事要乾还有 Logan没来
You were wrong about boyfriends showing up early.
你对男友提早到场的看法是错的
Well, well, well.
看啊快来看啊
Tonight, VC stands for "Very Chic."
今晚 "VC"(越共)代表"很别緻"
Thank you, Mrs. Kimmy's friend.
谢谢 Kimmy的朋友太太
Do you think you could help me?
您能帮我一下吗
I need to sneak this bicycle inside.
我想偷偷把单车带进去
Oh, well, don't worry.
别担心
Nobody's gonna wanna steal that hunk of...
没人会想偷那块
No, it's Kimmy's birthday present.
不这是Kimmy的生日礼物
I made it myself.
我自製的
Oh, you didn't let me finish.
你没让我说完
Hunk of crap.
这块垃圾
It's rude to interrupt your elders.
打断长辈讲话很没礼貌
I'm so sorry.
真抱歉
It's just, it took me weeks to make this,
只是这个我花了很多个星期在上面
stealing parts from other delivery guys' bikes.
去其他快餐小哥的单车上偷部件
Yeah, okay, I'll help you get it in.
好吧我帮你弄它进去
That's what she said.
这是她说的
"But how?" She continued.
"怎麽办呢"她继续说
I'm having a heart attack.
我心脏病发
Lillian!
Lillian
Do not die on me.
别死在我面前
Oh, my God.
老天爷啊
Look at her color.
看她的脸色
And the smell.
还有气味
She's already gone.
她已经去世了
Uh, false alarm.
误报而已
A little gas.
有点气不顺
Dong, you're early.
Dong 你来早了
I came to see if you need any help
我来看看你需不需要帮忙
You're such a good friend. And I do need help.
你真是够朋友我还真需要帮忙
I just did laundry, and all my underwear is on the bed.
我刚洗完衣服所有内衣都在床上
Could you fold it for me?
你能帮我叠吗
Hello?
喂
Hello, I'm on my way.
喂我要过去了
Great. Could you bring some ice?
棒极了能顺道捎点冰来吗
Ice?
冰
As in frozen water?
冻结的水吗
It's what boyfriends do, right?
这是男朋友该干的吧
All right, then. I'm off to the ice-ery.
那好吧我去冰店吧
Why do you keep playing the same song over and over?
为什麽你老是播同一首歌♥
These are all different.
全都不同的
Can you not tell house from electronicon?
你分辨不出电子音乐和浩室音乐吗
No. Can you at least play music that has words in it?
分不出至少播一首带词的吧
**I beat that bitch with a bat*
*我用球棒打了那个婊♥子♥
*I beat that bitch with a bat.* I can't fix America.
*我用球棒打了那个婊♥子♥* 美国已经没救了我也没办法
**I beat that bitch with a bat*
*我用球棒打了那个婊♥子♥
The fuzz is back. Everybody just chill out.
条子又回来了所有人淡定
It's okay, Lillian. He's leaving.
没事 Lillian 他要走了
Okay, Kimmy, I know you didn't want us
好吧 Kimmy 我知道你不想我们
messing up your fun party and everything.
搞砸你的派对什麽的
But funny story, I can't find the car.
但搞笑的是我找不到车了
Well, why don't you keep looking for it?
那你们为什麽不去找找
I'm sure it'll only take you 15 years to find it.
我很肯定只用十五年就能找到
Okay.
好吧
That's a fair hit but hurtful.
你这话说的合情合理但好伤人
Also, I don't want to take credit for something
还有最后是FBI的猪找到的
that an FBI pig did.
不是我的功劳
Okay, so we both got ice.
好吧我们都搞了冰块
Are you also Kimmy's boyfriend?
你也是Kimmy的男朋友吗
Boyfriend?
男朋友
No, I saw she was running low, so I went outside,
不我看到冰块快没了我就跑到外面
and this fell off an air conditioner and onto my head!
这东西就从空调掉到我的头上
I didn't do it because I'm her boyfriend.
我不是因为是她的男朋友才这麽干的
Where would I even take Kimmy out on a date?
我要带她到哪裡约会啊
Ice skating and then hot chocolate,
滑冰然后喝巧克力
and it starts to snow, and we fall to the ground,
开始下雪后我们摔到地上
and we make snow oxen?
然后我们堆一隻雪牛吗
As if.
怎麽可能
Look, can I just borrow your phone?
听著我能借你的电话吗
This RadioShack 1G doesn't work anywhere
这个无线通讯电话一到周围有建筑的地方
where there's buildings.
就没信号
Fine, but make it quick.
好吧但快点
And don't talk to anyone here about me.
别跟这裡的任何人讲关于我的事
Oh, no, I can't talk about you
天啊不我不能跟你
with any of your amazing friends?
那些超赞的朋友讲关于你事吗
Hi. Hey.
你好你好啊