我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E08

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

So does his son, Jeez!
他的儿子也是 "天"
Go already!
快点走吧
There must be some kind of loophole.
协议裡一定有什麽漏洞
I don't think so, but who knows?
我不觉得但谁知道呢
Your prenuptial agreement requires that you be represented
你们的协议规定你的律师
by a worser lawyer than your husband.
一定要比你丈夫的差
He gets my brother, David.
他的律师是我哥哥 David
David's so cool. And he's, like, really fast.
David很棒而且他动作还很快
So just sign this, and we'll initiate the proceedings.
签字吧然后我们就可以进入离婚程序了
I think.
我猜
I'll check with David when I watch him work out later.
等我晚点去看David健身的时候再问问他
Dong!
Dong
It's Kimmy from GED class.
我是GED班上的Kimmy
Shh! I don't have papers,
嘘我没有合法文件
so at work I go by American name.
所以上班的时候我用的美国假名
Richard Pennsylvania.
Richard Pennsylvania
Well, Richard, I need a math tutor, big time.
Richard 我需要一个数学家教非常需要
So far all I've learned is that the Olsen twins
目前我唯一学到的东西就是奥尔森姐妹
are actually four people.
其实是四个人
Of course.
对耶
It took two of them to play one baby on the Full House.
在<欢乐满屋>裡面她们两个人演一个小孩
So if we see two of them now, there must be four.
所以如果我们看到的是两个人那一共就是四个人
Look, Kimmy, you seem like a street girl...
Kimmy 你看上去像个站街女
Street girl? Hey!
站街女喂
Oh, sorry, I meant sweet girl.
噢对不起我想说的是好女孩
I get confused because in Vietnam, the word "Duong"
我会混淆是因为在越南话裡 Duong这个字
can mean "Sweet" Or "Street."
既是"街"又是"好"
Or "Sugar" Or "Road."
又是"糖" 还是"路"
The number one cause of death there is when a diabetic
排名第一的死因是糖尿病患者
asks for directions.
想要问路
But I don't have time to tutor anybody.
但是我没时间教别人
I barely have time to study at home
我都没时间在家学习
because I work three shifts.
因为我要值三轮班
My boss is so cheap.
我老闆太抠门了
How... cheap... is he? Very.
有多抠门非常
He won't hire any more delivery guys.
他不肯多招几个送外卖的
It's a real problem for me.
对我来说这是个大问题
It's funny 'cause it's true.
因为是真事儿所以好搞笑
Okay, I get it.
好吧我懂了
You don't have any time because of work.
你是因为工作才没有时间
But I could help you.
但是我可以帮你
If I take some of your deliveries,
如果我帮你送一些外卖
maybe you'd have some free time
可能你就有时间
and we could study together.
我们就可以一起学习了
It would be nice to have some help.
有个帮手是挺好的
Delivering Chinese food all day can be depressing.
送一整天的中国菜其实很难受
Like when people yell out, "Food's here!"
比如有人会大喊"饭到啦"
As if they have a family. But I know they are alone.
装作他们有个家庭但我知道他们都是单身狗
So study buddies? Tonight?
那做学伴咯今晚
My apartment? Okay.
在我家好
Study buddies.
学伴
Oh, no, Kimmy!
噢不 Kimmy
I cannot touch a woman I barely know.
我不能接触我不了解的女性
It's non-appropriate.
这"无"得体
Okay, well let's just say this is going to be great!
好吧一定会进行得很顺利的
Fingers crossed.
交叉手指
Where I come from, that is a very obscene gesture!
在我们国家那是一个非常淫秽的手势
Okay, gotcha.
好吧知道了
What is wrong with you?
你到底什麽毛病
Oh, Kimmy,
噢 Kimmy
I do know it's your day off,
我真的明白今天你休息
and I'm so sorry to bring you back here
很抱歉又把你从那个
from whatever decaying steel town you call home.
落后破旧你称之为家的穷地方叫回来
That's okay. I know you're going through a tough time.
没关係我知道你现在很难受
And it's making me want to stress eat.
所以我很想吃东西来释放压力
So if you could do it for me while I watch,
所以如果你能让我看著你吃
that would be so thank you.
我会很感激的
Excellent.
非常好
Eat your shame.
化耻辱为食慾
Now cry.
现在哭出来
Take another bite and suck your thumb and cry.
再咬一口然后吮一下大拇指再哭
Look, I'm happy to come over here whenever you want,
我很乐意在你需要的时候来这裡
but Logan Beekman is taking me to dinner on Thursday.
但是星期四Logan Beekman要带我出去吃晚餐
Look who caught a whale,
看看谁吊到了一条大鱼啊
and with such dry bait.
而且用的是这麽没料的饵
Wait, huh?
等等什麽
Kimmy, I'm so happy for you.
Kimmy 我真为你开心
If you play this right, you could end up exactly like me,
如果你能好好发展下去你最后会变的跟我一模一样
with a kitchen like this and an ass that won't quit,
有这样的厨房♥和这样的翘臀
even though it's never worked a day in its life.
虽然我就没练过我的臀
What do you mean "Exactly like you?"
"跟你一模一样"是什麽意思
You and Mr. Voorhees are getting...
你和Voorhees都要那什麽
rhymes with "Shmavorced."
离"分"了吗
Actually, great news: we're not.
特大喜讯其实我们不离了
Julian and I are staying together.
Julian和我要继续在一起
What? No.
什麽不
What about your freedom, sunlight, birds,
那你的自♥由♥呢阳光鸟儿
free cocoa at the police station.
警♥察♥局的免费可可呢
I don't expect you to understand,
我不指望你能理解
but I'm used to a certain lifestyle.
但是我已经习惯了这种生活方式
He cheated on you.
他背叛了你
You can't put a price tag on your self-respect.
你的自尊怎麽能用钱来衡量
3,400, the amount the Olsen quadruplets paid me
3400 我给奥尔森四胞胎守密
to keep my mouth shut.
也是这个价
Mrs. Voorhees I've made my decision, Kimmy.
Voorhees女士我已经做出决定了 Kimmy
Now, where did I leave my phone?
我把手机放哪了
Oof, do not go in there.
哎哟别进去
Where? Outside?
哪裡外面吗
You heard me.
你听到了
So how was your day?
今天过的怎麽样
Walking around New York dressed like a werewolf
在纽约穿成一个狼人走在街上
got... weird.
很怪异
Wait!
等一下
Mr. Bus!
巴士先生
Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't need a cab.
噢不不不不我不需要的士
I was just waving.
我只是在招手
I didn't do anything.
我什麽都没做
Nice day, huh, sir?
天气真好啊先生
Can you hold my baby?
你能帮我抱一下宝宝吗
I got treated better
我当黑人的时候
as a werewolf than I ever did as a black man.
受到的待遇从来没有像当狼人这麽好过
That's messed up.
太乱来了
I'm gonna tell you what's messed up.
我告诉你什麽才是乱来
Our bodega started selling Greek yogurt
这儿的便利店居然开始卖脱乳清酸奶
and bottled water and unexpired meats.
瓶装牛奶还有没过期的肉
Who's that for?
谁买啊
They're coming, those white sons of bitches.
他们要来了那些白种的小兔崽子们
How do you like your tea, Dong?
你想放些什麽在茶裡 Dong
Milk and two roads.
牛奶和两颗"路"
I think you mean two sugars.
我猜你是说两颗糖吧
What you got cooking over there,
你这盘算什麽呢
a little General Tso's Revenge?
是打算来点亚洲风味的吗
What?
什麽
For some reason, that Asian fetish thing
因为某些原因对亚洲的迷恋
tends to go one way: white guys into Asian women.
好像都只有一个方向白种男人喜欢亚洲女人
But swim upstream, and a lady can clean up.
但激流勇进白人女性也有大市场
Trust me.
相信我
Oh, no. It's not like that.
噢不不是那样的
I've actually got a date with this guy Logan.
我其实在跟一个叫Logan的人约会
He's super fancy, like...
他特别高雅他会说