我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E06

Part 4 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

What is wrong with you?
你有毛病吧
Why are you happy about that?
你为什麽还这麽高兴
Why? Because it brings me one step closer...
为什麽因为这样我就更接近
to this.
这个地儿了
To this what?
这是哪儿啊
I forgot what you said earlier,
我忘了你之前说的什麽了
'cause it took so long to get up here.
因为走到这花的时间太长了
You kept having to lie down in the stairwell,
你动不动就在楼梯上躺下歇脚
and then I had to get you juice.
我还得给你去买果汁
You asked why I was happy.
你问我我为什麽高兴
And I said, "'cause it leads me one step closer."
我就说 "因为这麽一来我就更接近"
And then I said, "To this."
然后我说 "这个地儿了"
What?
什麽
It's just a teachers' lounge.
这不就是个教工休息室吗
Just a teachers' lounge.
就是个教工休息室吗
Like the Montreal Expos
就像蒙特利尔博览会队
are just Canada's second-best baseball team.
不就是加拿大第二好的棒球队一样
Well, used to be.
好吧曾经是
The Expos moved?
展览会队搬走了吗
See, it's almost impossible to fire a tenured teacher.
听著想解雇一个终身任期的老师几乎是不可能的
So, if you're too incompetent to teach,
如果你实在不够格为人师表
they send you here.
他们就会把你送到这裡
The union calls it "The Rubber Room."
工会称它为"胶房♥"
You get paid to sit around all day
你就拿著工资一整天坐在这裡
till they figure out what to do with you.
直到他们想到处置你的方法
It takes years.
需要好多年呢
Oh, my gosh.
我的天哪
You're trying to get sent here.
你想被送到这裡来
And I'm so close.
而且我已经很接近了
I've spent 23 years failing my way
23年来我的教师地位每况愈下
from AP Science all the way down
从教大学先修科学一直下滑到
to the last rung of the teaching ladder... GED Prep.
教师阶级的底层教普通教育文凭预备班
You're not gonna get away with this.
你别想就这麽得逞了
I'm telling the principal.
我会告诉校长
Yes, do that.
好啊就这麽做
It'll be great for you.
这样对你好极了
'Cause he'll probably replace me
他八成会把我替换掉
with one of those inspirational GED teachers
找个普通教育文凭界的灵魂工程师来呢
you're always hearing about.
你想要的就是这种嘛
Nice try, Teach.
差点就让你得逞了老师
Or should I say, "Reverse Teach"?
或者我该叫你说反话老师
If I complain, you get paid to sit in there,
如果我去抱怨了你就能拿著工资坐在裡面
and I get nothing.
我什麽也得不到
They're not gonna replace you. The school's broke.
他们不会找人替换你的学校根本没钱
They've been renting out the lockers as hotel rooms
都把储物柜当做旅馆
for Japanese businessmen.
租给日本商人
Konnichiwa.
扣你菊花
You complain, I win.
你去提意见我就赢了
You fail, I win.
你挂科我赢了
Face it, Missy, I'm a winner!
接受吧小丫头我是赢家
Well, I'm not giving up!
我不会放弃的
Did Frederick Douglass give up when people told him,
弗雷德裡克·道格拉斯放弃了吗即使所有人都在说
"You'll never invent peanut butter, pal"?
"你永远发明不出花生酱的兄弟"
I know all of that's wrong.
我知道刚说的这一切都是错的
I see now that he's holding a tennis racket.
我这会儿看见了他拿著的是个网球拍
I can't believe those guys.
真不敢相信这些人
I told them to stay out of my dad's study.
我告诉他们离我爸书房♥远点了
Ugh. Wait till you see what they did to your bathrooms.
这都不算啥看看他们怎麽对待你家厕所吧
Who's that mean old lady?
那个刻薄的老太太是谁
What? Oh, no.
什麽哦不是啦
That's, like, my super-great-grandfather,
那是我的曾曾祖父
Christoph Voorhees.
Christoph Voorhees
Ugh, the Dut ch.
呃荷兰人啊
I never formed an opinion about them.
我从来对他们没什麽了解
We also have his ivory legs and his mustache
我们还留著他的象牙假腿和小鬍子
and the pipe he smoked as a baby.
和他婴儿时期啜的烟斗
Ivory legs.
象牙腿
Where's the pipe?
烟斗在哪呢
No! No, no, no, no.
不要不不不不不
My dad will notice right away if this thing is missing.
这玩意儿要不见了我爸马上就能发现
Where is it?
在哪儿呢
Okay, I often find that things are in the last place I look.
别慌失物我总在最后找的地方才能找到
So let's start at the Dollywood gift shop.
所以我们从多莉山主题公园礼品店找起
Who here is allowed to rent a car?
这儿谁能租车
No. I know exactly where it is.
不用我知道它在哪
And she stepped on the ball.
之后她还踩在那个球上了
Hey, son! That's my pipe!
嘿小子那是我的烟斗
No, it's not.
不是啊
What did you just call me? Give it to him, Dylan.
你刚才叫我什麽给他吧 Dylan
You talking to me?
你敢跟老子扯淡
I break-a your face.
老子把你脸打烂
Let's get out of here! Ooh!
快走吧哦
Oh, my God, thank you...
噢天哪谢谢你
Not so fast, MTV's Daria.
别心急啊 MTV台的Daria
Solid, T.
说得好小T
I give this back to you, Kimmy's off the hook, right?
我把这个还给你 Kimmy就没事了对吧
Yes, fine. Pinkie promise.
对好嘛拉钩保证
I don't get you guys.
我真不明白你们
You did all this for Kimmy?
你们做这麽多就为了Kimmy
She's the worst.
她人最差了
Sure, she's not perfect.
当然她不完美
She smiles too much, like a collie.
她笑太多了像只柯利犬
And red hair, brown eyes?
还有红头髮棕眼睛
Guess God ran out of crayons.
看来是上帝的蜡笔用完了
But he wasn't out of whatever makes people good.
但是让人们变好的那些品质他还有的是
Freckles, maybe. She's a good friend.
比如雀斑她是个好朋友
Yeah. And what do you know about friendship anyway?
就是再说你对友谊了解多少呢
Those kids you hang out with suck.
和你一起玩的孩子们都太差劲了
Whatever.
随便你们吧
You don't know them.
你又不了解他们
Oh.
哦
Yeah.
对啊
By the way, I counted 12 bathrooms in your house.
另外我在你们家一共数出十二间厕所
Did I miss any?
我少数了吗
No, there's only eight.
没有啊只有八间
Run, Lillian!
快跑 Lillian
She put this team together
她把我们组成一队
because she thought we'd be bad enough
是因为她觉得我们糟糕到
to finish dead last,
可以输到垫底
knocking attendance down to the point
上座率压到够低的时候
where she could move the team to Miami.
她就可以把队伍挪到迈阿密
Well, then I guess there's only one thing left to do.
所以我猜我们只能做一件事了
What's that?
什麽事
Win the whole
大获全
Thing.
胜
That's it.
没错
Guys, there's something you should know.
大傢伙儿有些事情你们应该知道
Mr. Lefkovitz wants us to fail.
Lefkovitz老师想让我们挂掉
Teacher want us to fail?
老师想让我们挂掉
You make-a no sense, Penis.
你这话说的没道理啊小鸡鸡
Our success is his glory.
我们的胜利是他的荣光啊
Yeah, that makes no sense at all.
就是这一点道理也没有
What are you talking about? Hear me out.
你说啥呢听我说
If we've learned anything in this class,
我们在课堂上学到的唯一东西
it's the plot to the movie .
就是<大联盟>裡的中心思想了
Wait. What?
等等什麽
Mr. Phelps' widow wants the team to fail
Phelps的遗孀想让这个队输
so she can move the franchise to Miami, right?
所以她就可以把经营权挪去迈阿密了对吗
Well, Mr. L wants us to fail so he never has to work again.
同理 L老师想让我们挂掉所以他就再也不用工作了
He's Phelps' widow.
他就是Phelps的遗孀