我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E01

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

but a soft heart, like a wonderful French roll.
内心柔软像个法式麵包
But black. Who the fuck is it?
黑的他妈的谁啊
It's Lillian, dear. Oh.
亲爱的是Lillian 哦
It's gonna be wonderful
他能有个室友
for him to have a roommate,
太好了
because he's very isolated but so talented
因为他非常孤独但才华横溢
but disillusioned but a genius.
鬱郁不得志的天才
And he's single but very gay.
还有他单身但非常基
And he doesn't know I placed the ad.
还有他不知道我发了那广告
What is it, Lillian? Who is this?
怎麽了 Lillian 这是谁
I'm your new roommate.
我是你的新室友
Okay, so sue me. Lillian, I'm a model tenant!
你能把我怎麽著 Lillian 我可是个模范租客
You need a roommate. I don't make noise.
你需要个室友我一点也不吵
I don't fry fish.
我也不炸鱼
Honey, you also don't pay the rent.
亲爱的你也不交房♥租
Because I don't have money.
因为我没钱
You know I do not want to evict you.
你知道我不想把你赶走
Just consider her, please?
考虑一下她好吗
What is your current address?
你的现在住址是哪裡
Next question.
下一个问题
May I see a recent letter of employment
我能看一下你最近的工作证明
or two recent pay stumps? No and no.
或者两份最近的工资单吗不能不能
Where do you work? Nowhere yet.
你在哪裡工作还没有工作
I pronounce you ridiculous.
我说你别逗我了
Come back when you got a J-O-B!
你有了哥屋恩作再来
He's right. I am gonna need a job.
他说的没错我确实需要个工作
Honey, you come back here with a job,
亲爱的你找到工作再回来
the place is yours. Thanks.
这地方就让你住了谢谢
Yeah. Oh!
哦对了
But don't wear that yellow sweater,
别穿那黄色毛衣
'cause the Crips'll think you're in the Banana Boys.
跛子帮会觉得你是香蕉男孩一伙的
It's a new gang.
那是个新的黑帮
There weren't any good colors left.
没剩什麽好颜色了
Nice to meet ya!
很高兴认识你
Hi, I'm Kimmy.
嗨我叫Kimmy
I'm a big fan of your products,
我热爱你们的产品
particularly the shark gummies,
特别是鲨鱼软糖
which I hadn't seen elsewhere.
我只在你们这儿见过这种糖
And I'm interested in any employment opportunities
我想问问你们有没有什麽
that you might have...
招人的职位
Where do you live? Stranger danger!
你住哪儿危险陌生人
Thank God. Are you the dog masseuse?
谢天谢地你是狗狗按♥摩♥师吗
No. Ma'am, I found your son.
不女士我找到你的儿子了
Buckley? Where's Hunong?
Buckley Hunong在哪儿
She never picked me up, so I was just walking home.
她从不来接我所以我就自己走回家而已
Liar!
骗人
I'm sorry. And you work for the school?
不好意思你是学校职员吗
No. So you're an Uber driver.
不所以你是优步司机
No. So you are the dog masseuse?
不所以你就是狗狗按♥摩♥师咯
Ma'am, I'm a stranger.
女士我就是个陌生人
Buckley, please get in here.
Buckley 快进来
You know I'm not allowed outside.
你知道我没法出门
Okay.
好
Ma'am, what do you mean, you're not allowed outside?
女士你说你无法出门是什麽意思
I had a face peel. Is that your reverend?
我做了个去皮术那是你的牧师吗
Did he peel your face? I'm sorry?
他剥了你皮吗你说什麽
Do you need help?
你需要帮助吗
Answer me honestly. Do you need help?
诚实的告诉我你需要帮助吗
I do.
我需要
It's $17 an hour cash, under the table.
17美元现金一小时不上税
You'll need to sign an NDA and a DNR.
你需要签一个保密协议和安乐死协议
Do you get sick in helicopters?
你坐直升飞机会晕吗
I never have.
从没有过
You'll need to be here by 6:00 every morning
你得每天早上六点到
to get Buckley up for school.
送Buckley上学
Then get me up at 10:00, but don't wake me up.
然后在十点把我弄起来但是不许叫醒我
Can I just say how grateful I am
我能表达一下我对这个机会
for this opportunity?
的感激之情吗
I'm sorry. What is your name?
不好意思你叫什麽
Oh, it's Kimmy. Kimmy.
Kimmy Kimmy
Are you good at braiding hair?
你编发技术怎麽样
I'm awesome at it. Fantastic.
特别厉害太好了
Of course, you'll have to meet the horses first.
当然得先领你去见我的马们
Do you want a water? No, thanks.
要喝水吗不用了谢谢
Okay.
好的
This is Charles. He's a tutor.
这是Charles 家教
He'll help you do Buckley's homework.
他会教你做Buckley的作业
Also, it's Buckley's birthday tomorrow,
还有明天就是Buckley的生日
so you'll need to make a cake that's cute
所以你得做一个蛋糕可爱的
but also paleo.
但同时要符合石器减肥食谱
Swedish, 90 minutes, medium pressure.
瑞典式按♥摩♥ 90分钟中等力道
I'm going to bed.
我要睡觉了
What in the ham sandwich? I just got a job.
我了个去我找到工作了
Please tell me that you're normal.
拜託告诉我你很正常
I need someone here to talk to.
我需要个能说话的人
Oh, I'm very normal.
哦我特别正常
I've had everything normal happen to me.
发生在我身上的都是最正常的事儿
What?
搞啥
Lillian, why is my doll furniture on the curb?
Lillian 我的娃娃傢具怎麽在马路牙子上
Because it's all I could carry.
因为我只能搬的动这些
Tomorrow real movers come, Titus, and evict you.
明天真正的搬家公♥司♥会来 Titus 把你轰走
How dare you? You know I love you.
你怎麽敢你知道我爱你
Lillian, I helped you take a shower once.
Lillian 我可帮你洗过澡
Hey, guys. Hey, white weirdo.
嗨大家嘿白鬼奇葩
I got a job.
我找到工作了
It pays $17 an hour, under the tables,
17美元一小时不上税
but I can pay in advance right now
但是我现在就能交房♥租
with my... tax refund.
用我退的税
I can have his things out by tonight.
今晚我就能把他东西搬走
Lillian.
Lillian
I have decided I will be taking a roommate.
我决定要室友
Oh, you have decided, have you?
哦你决定了是吗
Yes, I've decided.
是啊决定了
Well, I'm the one that placed the ad...
我才是打广告的人
Actually, I would rather live with someone.
其实我比较想和别人一起住
I'm kind of used to having roommates.
我比较习惯有室友的感觉
Okay. J'approuve.
好啊同意
When will I be getting my money?
我什麽时候才能拿到钱
What about my money?
我的钱呢
Slavery reparations, Lillian. Touché.
奴隶制赔偿都上哪去了 Lillian 算你在理
You people have suffered.
你们的确遭了不少苦
Is that a real robot?
那是真的机器人吗
Do people have robots now?
现在的人都有机器人了
What? Huh?
啥啊
That's my bedroom.
那是我的房♥间
You'll be staying in my office.
你就住我办公室
Ha! I will be very comfortable in here.
我会在这住的很舒服的
It's like two Cyndees by a Gretchen.
简直有两个Cyndee乘一个Gretchen大
A window. My own window!
窗户我的私人小窗
And it has this.
还有这个
Where's the rest of your stuff?
你别的东西呢
Oh, this is it.
就这些了
You got a secret. What?
你有秘密啥
You moved to New York City today with a bag full of cash,
你带著满满一包现金来纽约
no stuff, and what is clearly a wig.
别的什麽都没有除了这顶明显的假发
Somebody in here got beans. Spill them.
有人藏著事儿啊快说吧
Okay.
好吧
Well, the truth is, I'm from Indiana...
真♥相♥就是我是从印第安纳来的
Oh, okay.
原来如此
That explains why you're so basic.
怪不得你那麽接地气