我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S01E04

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

in the place where I used to live,
特别不开心的时候
I would smile and jump up and down
我就边笑边上蹿下跳
and say, "I'm not really here. I'm not really here."
说"其实我不在这儿其实我不在这儿"
Oh, I don't know that one.
我不知道这种方法
I'm not really here. I'm not really here.
其实我不在这儿其实我不在这儿
You have enough for a book here.
你都能出本书了
I'm not really here!
其实我不在这儿
I'm not really here!
其实我不在这儿
Oh, God. Why?
天啊为什麽这麽对我
Buhbreeze. Cover it up.
清风来遮住异味
Earlier today,
今天早些时候
tragedy striking the new musical Spidermen Too: 2 Many Spidermen,
最新音乐片<依然蜘蛛侠:很多蜘蛛侠>传出噩耗
the show billed as "The most flying Spidermen ever assembled on one stage."
本片标榜"最会飞的蜘蛛侠们共聚一堂"
Change the channel. I can't get news from a woman.
换台我从不看女人播新闻
This afternoon, six cast members were critically injured
今天中午六名演员被蜘蛛侠的最大敌人
at the hands of Spiderman's greatest foes...
重力和地面
Gravity and floors.
搞得严重受伤
In true Broadway fashion,
在真正的百老汇时尚圈
producers insist that the injured actors will be replaced
製片人坚持应该换掉受伤的演员
and the show will go on.
继续演出
This is it. This is my chance.
就是这个了我的机会终于来了
Are you kidding me?
你是在逗我吗
That show is a death sentence.
参加这个演出跟被判死刑了差不多
Exactly. Most actors will be scared away,
没错大部分演员都会被吓跑
but not Titus Andromedon,
但我Titus Andromedon不会跑
whose biggest credit to date is that Bum Fights DVD.
我目前最好的成就就是拍了<街头生存战斗>
美国知名短片
I could actually get a part on Broadway.
我真的能在百老汇有一席之地的
I can't support this.
这我没法挺你
I will not bury another beautiful black man.
我不能再送走一个俊俏的黑人了
You know my dear husband Roland was killed in our very own apartment.
你知道的我亲爱的老公Roland在我们自己家被杀了
Yes, I've heard this story before.
嗯我听过这个故事了
He got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night,
他半夜起床上厕所
and on his way back to bed, he was shot in the face.
回床的路上脸上被崩了一枪
By you, Lillian.
是你开的枪 Lillian
Well, it was dark out,
当时太黑了
and a black guy was trying to get in bed with me.
一个黑鬼想要上我的床
It was the '70s.
那可是70年代
Point is, I will have nothing to do with this audition of yours.
重点是你这次试镜我是不会帮你的
Fine. I'll get Kimmy to help me.
好吧我叫Kimmy帮我
Who needs you, anyway?
再说了谁需要你啊
Can I borrow $5,
你就能借我5美元吗
a lint brush, a stick of gum, and your shoes?
还有一个钢丝球一条口香糖你的鞋也拿来
Yeah.
好
Listen, Kimmy,
听好了 Kimmy
'cause I only have the blood sugar to say this once.
我的血糖只能支撑我说一遍
If I'm going to get an audition,
如果我要去试镜
I need head shots that show range,
我需要能展示我什麽都能演的大头照
specifically, a fine composite head shot
具体一点就是一张精美合成的大头照
like this flawless one of Tony Danza
就像我从我的乾洗工那儿借来的
that I borrowed from my dry cleaners.
那张Tony Danza的完美大头照一样
Whoa.
哇
We only have one shot at this.
我们只有一次机会
I will have approximately three seconds
在拍照和角色变更之间
between flashes to transform characters.
我只有三秒的时间
As soon as you see the light, you hand me the next costume,
一看到闪光灯你就递给我下一件戏服
even if I scream no.
就算我说不要
Even if I beg you to stop,
就算我求你停下
hand me the next costume.
也要递给我下一件戏服
See you on the other side.
一会儿在另一边见
No!
不
This is impossible.
这不可能
The beard.
鬍子给我
You're looking at a genius.
站在你面前的可是个天才
Oh...
太好了
Mrs. Voorhees, have you sent that selfie of me?
Voorhees夫人你把我的自♥拍♥照发出去了吗
Can we use this one I made at the arcade instead?
我能换这张我在游戏厅裡照的吗
It's what my and Titus's baby would look like.
我和Titus的孩子会长这样
Oh, that's upsetting.
长得可真闹心
What's wrong with your other picture?
你原来那张自♥拍♥怎麽了
I don't like it. I didn't realize how old I look now.
我不喜欢我看著太老了
You don't know what you look like?
你不知道自己长什麽样
How do you know your self-worth?
那你怎麽能知道自己的价值呢
I guess I just was never one of those girls
我想只是我不是那种
who looked in the mirror all the time.
整天照镜子的女孩吧
Your hair is brown with different brown in it.
你有一头褐色的秀髮又夹杂著一些不同的褐色
Your eyes are green with grayish flecks.
有一双绿眼睛上面有灰色的斑点
And your nose is super skinny.
还有一个超级小的鼻子
Yay!
耶
Hey, Kimmy, you want me to be your mirror now?
Kimmy 你想让我当你的"镜子"吗
Nah, I'm good.
不用了
I can see myself if I move fast enough.
如果我晃的够快我能看见自己呢
Ugh, now I can't stop looking at these lines here.
现在我超在意这些皱纹
I hate them.
我讨厌它们
Outside in, Kimmy. I don't have time right now.
美是由外而内的 Kimmy 我没时间跟你扯了
Dr. Franff called and said he could see me immediately,
Franff医生打来说马上就能见我
so I'm heading over.
所以我现在要过去了
Carry my purse and this bag with sneakers.
拿好我的包和这个装运动鞋的袋子
Oh, no, what's wrong?
不会吧出什麽事了
I don't know, but whatever it is,
我也不知道不过不管怎样
I'm sure he'll figure it out.
我能肯定他会解决的
Dr. Franff is the best plastic surgeon in Manhattan.
Franff医生可是曼哈顿最好的整形医生了
Sidney built Mariah Carey from scratch.
玛丽亚·凯莉就是他一手创造的
Excuse me? Mmhmm?
打扰一下怎麽了
Is this the line for Spidermen auditions?
这是在为蜘蛛侠的试镜排队吗
Yep, can you believe all these weirdos.
是啊你看这些怪咖可真自信
Well, well, well...
哎哟哟
this is rich.
真有意思
Coriolanus Burt...
Coriolanus Burt
I haven't seen you in years.
好多年没见了
No? You didn't catch my turn on SVU?
是吗你没看我演的<特殊受害者>吗
I must've blinked and missed it.
我肯定是一眨眼就给错过了
Really?
真的吗
You missed my performance as the guy who, at the end,
你没看到最后
turned out to have done it?
我演的那个男的就是幕后黑手吗
Look at us...
看看我们俩
Me just passing by on my way to tape a podcast
我只是路过这裡要去录播客
and you standing in line for an open call
你却排队等著一个公开试镜
for a play directed by the third Affleck brother...
这戏的导演还是那个排行老三的Affleck兄弟
Myron.
Myron
Look, my agent set this up...
听著这是我经纪人安排的
Titus, if you're in this line, you don't have an agent.
Titus 如果你是在这排队你不可能有什麽经纪人
Excuse me, I have to take this.
对不起我得接这个电话
Hello?
喂
Yes, I am happy with my long-distance service...
是我对我的长途电话服务很满意
very happy.
非常满意
Wait, the sign says "Dr. Grant."
等等牌子上写著"Grant医生"
Yes, but Sid pronounces it "Franff."
是可是Sid发的是"Franff"的音
These people are already pretty.
这些人已经很好看了
Why are they even here?
他们来这儿干嘛
Look at her hands.
瞧瞧她的手
Mm-hmm.
就是这样
Would you like a water? Yes.
要喝点水吗好的
No, thank you.
不了谢谢
Plastic surgeons look at feet?
整形医生还看脚呢
Oh, yes.
当然了
Feet are the new butts, Kimmy.
现在脚已经是屁♥股♥的地位了 Kimmy
Dr. Franff is here.
Franff医生在此
Jacqueline, you look fantastic.
Jacqueline 你气色真好
Thank you, Sidney.
谢谢 Sidney
Would you like TV while we work?