和平使者（2022）

我想举杯
I wanna make a toast
敬我的傻儿子克里斯珀
to my goofball son, Chrisper.
我们经历过一些困难
You've had some hard times...
但你走出来了 成为了更好的人
...but you came out the other side a better man.
是的
Yeah.
而且幸运的是
And lucky for us,
你终于明白这位美丽的女士
you realized that this gorgeous little lady here
是你此生能遇见的最好的人
is about the best thing that ever happened to him.
同意 说得太对了 - 对
Hear fucking hear! Here, then. -Yeah.
真是至理名言 奥古斯特
Such wise words, August.
是的 - 去问问 我们陪你
Yep. - You can ask. We'll go with you.
我好紧张 - 拜托拜托…
I'm nervous. Please. -Please, please, please, please.
来吧 我们去找他
Come on, let's go.
快来 勇敢点
Come on, come on. Go.
蓝龙先生 可以和你们合个影吗
Mr. Blue Dragon, uh, can we get a photo with all you guys?
当然可以 都靠过来吧 蓝龙最爱自♥拍♥
Absolutely, kids. Gather around. Blue Dragon loves taking selfies.
只是技术超烂
Except he's terrible at it.
你们想要脑门特写就找他拍吧
If you want pictures of your foreheads, let him take it.
你们敢信吗 哪有儿子这么说老子的
Can you believe that? That's my own son talking to me like that.
你们捧他捧过头了 瞧这照片 拍得太烂了
You're giving him way too much respect. Look, it's a horrible photo.
可以把我也拍进去吗
Can you put me in the picture?
艾米莉亚 快来拯救世界 - 好了 我来拍
Emilia, can you save the day? -All right, all right. I'll take it.
她是专业的 - 大伙儿凑近点
She's a professional selfie person. -All right, get in here. Get in here.
看镜头
Here we go.
准备好了吗
All right. You ready?
一起喊“绝顶三巨头”
Everybody say, "Top Trio."
绝顶三巨头
Top Trio!
和平使者
第二季第六集

“第六章：无知是克里斯的福”
确定这就是最好的选择
You sure this is our best option?
天眼会不知道义警的秘密身份
ARGUS doesn't know Vigilante's secret identity,
在这里连接他们就追踪不到
so if we connect from here, they won't find it.
我先说好了 我妈可烦人了
Hey, just so you guys know, my mom can be a total be-atch.
她会告发我们吗 - 不会
Is she going to rat us out? -No.
那就别挑三拣四了
Well, then we don't have another choice.
你想清楚了吗
Are you sure you wanna do this?
只要上交这个维度容器 你的职业生涯就能重新开始
You can have your whole career back if you just turn that silver container into ARGUS.
这几个月来 你心心念念的不就是复职吗
All you've talked about for months is getting your job back.
那就趁我没反悔赶紧动手
Then we better do it before I change my mind.
约翰 你来吗
John, are you in?
不 我不想来 我只是扛不住同伴的施压
No, I'm not in. I'm just incredibly susceptible to peer pressure.
艾德里安 - 你好 妈妈
Adrian! -Hi, Mom.
我们要去我的密室 你不准跟来
We're going to my secret room. You're not allowed to follow.
你好 蔡斯太太 我是艾德里安的朋友小莉
Hi, Mrs. Chase. I'm Lee, Adrian's friend.
他朋友
His friend?
艾德里安不常带朋友回来
Oh, Adrian doesn't bring his friends around very often.
自从“龙与地下城” 游戏团解散后就没了
Not since the D&D group broke up.
玩家不够 我还当过40级的神偷呢
He didn't have enough players, So I became a 40th level cutpurse.
天啊 妈妈 “不准跟来”这句话
Jesus, Mom, what part of "You're not allowed to follow,"
你哪里没听懂 - 抱歉 艾德里安
don't you understand? -Oh, I'm sorry, Adrian. I'm so sorry.
你要是感到抱歉 为什么还跟着 真是够了
If you're sorry, why are you still coming? Jesus, fuck.
还有谁的老妈像裤裆里的虱子 死叮着你不放
Anyone else here have a mom who's a fucking tick on your dick all the time?
你就是约翰吧 - 天啊
You must be John. - Jesus! -
你看起来没那么呆
You're not that dorky.
别告诉我
And don't tell me.
这位就是硬核哈姐
This is Hardcore?
闭嘴 妈妈
Shut up, Mom!
是哈考特 没有硬核
Harcourt, not Hardcore.
我还以为… - 你不是唯一误解的 但我不是
Oh, I thought it was Har-- -You're not alone, but no.
妈 我们现在要进密室了 可以请你走开吗
Mom, we're going into my secret room now, so do you mind? Scoot.
当然 当然 抱歉
Oh, of course. Of course. I'm sorry.
要是艾德里安伤了你的心 我很抱歉
And I am so sorry if Adrian hurt you.
闭嘴 - 什么
Mom, shut up! -Excuse me?
我就是很高兴他能交上女朋友
I was just so excited that he had a girlfriend.
妈 闭嘴 - 女朋友
Mom, shut up! Shut up. -Girlfriend?
我认为放荡不应该作为分手理由
I don't think that being too slutty is any reason to break up.
能请你走开吗 快走
Mom, would you please fuck off?
妈 别说了 - 我告诉过艾德里安 时代变了
Go. Mom! Stop! -I told Adrian it's a new era.
谁手♥机♥里没点色情的东西
People have the pornography on their phone now.
请滚开 - 不由自主就放荡起来了
Please fuck off! - They can't help but be slutty.
住嘴 - 一个成熟的男人
Just zip it. - It's up to a mature man
理应教导他的伴侣 性♥爱♥是一种增进彼此联♥系♥的方式
to teach his partner about how making love can be a way to connect.
是的 - 神啊
Oh my God. - Yeah.
我脑袋要炸了 住嘴 别说了
You're hurting my brain. Stop! Stop!
抱歉
I'm sorry.
你们小两口闹别扭我就不掺和了
I guess these lovers' quarrels are none of my beeswax.
我等你们上来
I'll see you all when you come upstairs.
给你们做三明治
I'll make sammiches!
你老妈人挺好
Oh, she's great.
她今天有点怪 她有痴呆症
Yeah, that was so weird. She has dementia.
可能把你和我另一个女友搞混了
I think she was confusing you with my other girlfriend.
可不是嘛 好怪
Weird. Yeah.
为了隐瞒我的超级英雄事业 偶尔得跟她胡诌几句
Also, sometimes I have to say stuff to hide that I'm out doing superhero stuff.
比如说我放荡
Yeah, like I'm slutty?
对 编故事也得有真实元素
Well, yeah, I have to base it in some truth.
天啊
Holy hell.
这都是些什么
What in the fuck is this?
每次捣毁贩毒团伙 我都会把所有赃物放在这里
Well, you know, if I bust up a drug ring or whatever, I just take everything and I put it here.
为什么 - 要是交给警♥察♥
Why? -Because if I give it to the cops,
也许会助长腐♥败♥之风 他们会侵吞赃物
there's a good chance they're corrupt and they could steal it.
更糟的是他们自己嗨起来
Or worse, use it themselves.
这里怕是堆了几百万美元
Dude, there has to be, like, millions of dollars here.
艾德里安 上周你说你穷得叮当响
Adrian, just last week you told me you were broke
还让我给你付早餐钱
and asked me to pay for your breakfast.
我决不会用这里的钱
Well, I'm not gonna use this, man. No way.
这是不义之财 我又没疯
It's blood money, you crazy?
说得对 不义之财可不能碰
Yeah, man, you don't want to deal with blood money,
死了都得带进棺材 相信我
and that shit goes to the grave with you. Trust me.
你们觉得我在那个世界 遇到另一个我的概率有多大
...the chances are I'll meet another me in there?
概率不太大
Uh, prob-- probably not too likely.
但应该尽量避免这种情况
But-- But, um, we should try to avoid shit like that
搞不好会引起维度干扰 导致宇宙爆♥炸♥
just in case we cause a dimensional disturbance and explode or something.
可能炸了也值吧
It might be worth it, though.
这扇门怎么样 - 应该能行
How about this? - That should work.
好的 但要小心 里面是我收集的豆豆娃
Okay, but just be careful. That's my Beanie Baby collection.
我肯定市场会触底反弹
I'm pretty sure the market is about to bounce back
到时这些宝贝都会身价暴涨
and they're gonna be worth a shitload.
怎么有几只鸵鸟混在里面
What's with all the ostriches?
你说弹弹 它们是里头最可爱的
Stretch? He's the cutest of them all.
好了 应该是这么操作
Okay, I think you do this.
所有人往后退
Okay, everybody move back a little.
往后退 退多远 - 一直到墙边
Move back? How far back? - Just go all the way to the wall.
该死
Goddammit.
简直是作死
This is fucked.
我们完蛋了 全都疯了
We are fucked, man. We are insane.
再来是…
Yeah, I know.
然后…
And...
这是正常的吗
Is this what it's supposed to do?
搞什么鬼
Oh, what the fuck!
我现在全身都是可♥卡♥因♥
I have fucking cocaine all over me!
该死的艾德里安
Fuck, Adrian!
你就不能像正常人一样 把毒品冲进马桶吗
Why can't you fucking flush your drugs down the toilet like a normal person?
下水道里有鳄鱼
Because of the alligators in the sewer system,
你个没心肝的
you callous piece of shit.
什么 - 我的天啊
What? - Oh my God.
现在成瘾问题已经够严重了
As if the addiction epidemic facing the country isn't bad enough,
还想把下水道的鳄鱼也变成瘾君子
he also wants the alligators in the sewers to be junkies.
你是个白♥痴♥
You're a moron.
我白不白♥痴♥跟鳄鱼有什么关系
What the fuck does that have to do with alligators?
说到这个 有人想考我鳄鱼的知识吗
does anyone want to quiz me on alligator facts?