怪妈闯荡记（2015）

Odd Mom Out S02E04

Part 3 Sept. 24, 2020, 9:19 a.m.

that's been A-bombed, Mom.
这叫炸♥弹♥攻势老妈
That's what I did.
我就是这么干的
I A-bombed her heart.
我要狂轰乱炸俘获她的芳心
Stop, it tickles.
住手好痒
Alexander, women are like horses.
亚历山大女人就像马
If you're kind to them, they will buck you off
如果你对她们仁慈她们就把你甩下马背
and trample you to death.
然后对你肆意践踏至死方休
Now, you've got to show Brooke who's in charge.
现在你必须让布鲁克瞧瞧到底谁说了算
And stop being so desperate.
别再这么渴求她了
It's Patty.
是我派蒂
Excuse me, but Mrs. Von-Weber just sent over
打扰你了但是冯韦伯夫人刚刚送来
an invitation to her opening. Booyah, Mom!
一封邀请函请您出席开幕仪式看吧老妈
She's also sent instructions on how to enter
她还送来一些指令要求你如何
through the staff tent, a list of people
走过员工帐篷还有一份名单
you're allowed to speak to, and talking points
上面列了你可以与之讲话的人以及你谈话时
for those conversations.
该说些什么
Brooke isn't on the list of people I can talk to?
布鲁克竟然不在名单上
Sounds like someone's being bucked.
听起来某人被甩下马了
You know, back in my country, I was a doctor.
你知道吗在我们那我可是个医生
Seriously? No, I was a driving teacher.
真的吗不我还是个驾驶教练
I could never be a doctor.
我这辈子是当不成医生了
Sick people, needles, ick.
病人针头我受不了
So I'm guessing these are all temporary tattoos.
所以我猜你这纹身都是画的吧
No, but I was terrified
不但是我第一次纹身时
when I got my first one. Well I've been fantasizing
还真是吓坏了我一直幻想
about getting a tasteful little skull
能够在我的肩膀上
right on my shoulder. - Okay, now we're talking.
纹一个精致的小骷髅头 - 好吧既然我们聊起来
How about after you pass your driving test
不如等你通过驾照考试
we celebrate with some new ink?
我们纹点新鲜玩意来庆祝下
Do you do that with all your students?
你和所有的学生都这么玩吗
You're gonna run out of skin.
那你身上地方会不够的
Most of my students need parental consent.
大多数学生需要他们父母的同意
In your case I guess it'd be husband consent?
对你来说我猜是需要丈夫的同意吧
No, Andy would dismember me if I got another.
不如果我再纹一个安迪肯定会把我大卸八块
I'd be fish food. Okay.
他会拿我去喂鱼的好吧
Then scratch that.
那就算了吧
Actually, what am I saying?
说真的我在说什么呢
Andy's not my dad.
安迪又不是我爹
I'm in.
我决定纹了
Oh, my God. You're out late.
哦我的上帝你出去的可真够久的
It's not that late. It's been hours since you two left.
没那么久啊你俩都走了好几个小时了
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
I just spilled coffee on Nico,
我只不过把咖啡洒在尼柯身上了
so I wanted to get him another one.
所以我得给他拿件新的
You had coffee with your driving instructor?
你和你的驾驶教练去喝咖啡了
Yeah, what's the big deal?
对啊怎么啦
I found out that his band needs a photographer
我发现他的乐队网站需要一个摄影师
for their website and they might hire me.
说不定会雇我
Oh, well that's convenient for everyone.
噢那可真是皆大欢喜啊
Are you jealous? You never get jealous.
你吃醋啦你可从来不吃醋啊
What do you expect? The guy looks like
字你想干嘛那人长得像是
Colin Farrell. No, he doesn't.
柯林法瑞尔不才不像呢
He's way hotter.
他可帅多了
Sorry, that's not a useful point right now.
不好意思当我没说
You obviously have a crush on him.
你肯定是喜欢上他了
No, I don't.
我没有
And you have crushes all the time.
你才总是对别人动情呢
What about that florist from our wedding?
说说那个我们婚礼上的花商吧
Well that was different. She was very knowledgeable
那可不一样她对园艺
about horticulture.
懂得很多
Oh, you know what? I changed my mind.
算了我改变主意了
You don't need to learn to drive.
你不用学车了
What? No, no, no, no, no.
什么不不不不不
I am getting my license and you can't stop me.
我要拿到我的车本你阻止不了我的
Plus, I like driving now.
还有我现在超爱开车
Look at you. It's like you've been
瞧你你就跟开着
driving your whole life.
你的美好生活一样
I'm so proud of you.
我太为你自豪了
And I love being able to blare my music.
而且我也喜欢能把音乐开到最大
It totally helps me to concentrate.
特别能帮我集中注意力
Oh!
喔
Aw, oh.
啊噢
Oh. Ah.
哦啊
Aw. Oh.
嗷哦
Natasha!
娜塔莎
Muah, muah.
么么么么
Thank you for coming.
你能来太好了
You must meet J'neece. You will love her.
你必须得见见杰尼斯你肯定会喜欢她的
And then, like, a hundred lobsters, scallops, and shrimp
然后大概几百只龙虾扇贝还有虾
It was "Silence of the Clams."
这简直可以翻拍一部沉默的贝类
I looked into a lobster's eyes as he died.
一只可怜的龙虾死的时候跟我四目相对了
That's a lot of mollusks.
那可是不少水产啊
It was a full-on Molocaust.
这简直是二战再现
So what happened exactly?
所以到底发生了什么
Um...
呃
I'm whacking it to you, Jill.
我在泡你呢吉尔
Well, I can't really remember, but, um,
我记不清了但是呃
I think the clinical term is traumatic memory loss,
我觉得临床术语应该叫做创伤性记忆丧失
Um, honey, first of all, you don't need
呃亲爱的首先你用不着加引号♥
to do finger quotes, 'cause that's actually his name.
因为那就是他的本名
And secondly, we were talking and it happened really fast.
其次我们当时正在说话而且事故太突然了
Ah, uh-huh. Uh-huh.
啊啊哈啊哈
Well I guess after the test tomorrow,
我猜明天考完试
no more Nico.
就没尼柯的事了
After tomorrow, no more Nico.
明天过后再无尼克
Big night.
今儿可是你的大日子啊
So proud of you.
太为你自豪了
Hey, I... you know, I think somebody
嘿我我觉得有人
forgot my VIP bracelet.
忘了我的VIP手环
I just want to go say hey to Carmelo Anthony.
我只是想过去跟卡梅隆安东尼问声好
Didn't you see the materials I sent over?
你没看我送过去的材料吗
We didn't forget.
你没有VIP手环
Brooke!
布鲁克
Oh...
呃
Candace, you're here.
坎迪斯你在这啊
Can you pretend to talk to me?
你能假装跟我聊天吗
It's the divorce divas.
是那帮离婚娘们儿
They've been trying to suck me into
她们已经求我加入
their single girl circle for weeks.
她们的单身女郎圈好几周了
It's like being caught in a whirlpool
这就跟被卷入了充满伏特加的
of vodka and desperation.
绝望漩涡一样
What did I say about sending the wrong message?
我之前跟你说什么来着
Brooke!
布鲁克
The place looks incredible.
这地方真棒
You have to come to Cabo with us for New Year's.
你新年一定得跟我们去卡波
Oh, totally. It is a divorced girls'
哦那简直就是离异少♥妇♥的
the help in Mexico in a way you just can't here.
你可以随便乱摸那些性感的侍应生在这儿可不行
Ah, thanks,
啊谢谢
but Lex and I are just on a trial separation.
但是我和莱克斯还没离婚
In fact, Lex?
事实上莱克斯
Photos.
来照张相
No? He didn't see me.
不他看不见我
He's nearsighted. Or farsighted,
他有近视眼要么就是远视
whichever makes sense.
总之他看不见
Honey, can I...
亲爱的我能
Like, right now.
我现在能
I'm sorry, but no.
抱歉不能
I'm done here.
我受够了
Tell Carmelo, I'll see him at the meditation center.
告诉卡梅隆我在冥想处见他
Anyway, this bag is made from one crocodile.
总之这包可是用一整条鳄鱼做的