极品老妈

Mom S06E06

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2020, 8:48 p.m.

这很疼
This hurts.
是的但疼得很爽
Yeah, but it hurts so good.
好了完成
Okay. All done.
看看吧
Take a look.
大爱心包着亚当
"Adam" In a big old heart.
好了我们再也不会分手了
That's it. We can never break up.
不说真的
No, seriously.
我不能当一个只约会
I can't be a middle-aged woman
叫亚当的男人的中年女人
limited to guys named Adam.
邦妮别担心我...
Bonnie, don't worry, I... Ow!
怎么不倒数三二一了
What happened to three, two, one?
蟹肉卷你如何辩解
Crab roll, how do you plead?
我犯了美味罪
Guilty of being delicious.
又一杯奶昔很好
Mm, another smoothie, nice.
我能习惯这种生活
I could get used to this.
别习惯我快回家了
Don't. I'm going home soon,
吉尔不会用搅拌机
and Jill doesn't know how to use the blender.
学得怎么样了
How's the studying going?
天啊
Wow.
哪个部分
Which part?
让我眯眼看的那部分
The part that's making me squint.
这是巴伐利亚切割水晶
That's the Bavarian cut crystals.
你是第一个看我穿这衣服的人不客气
You're the first person to see me in it, so you're welcome.
我确实感觉很特别
I do feel kind of special.
猜猜值多少钱
Guess how much it cost.
算了得猜一整天
Oh, we'll be here all day.
3284美元
$3,284.
不好意思什么
I'm sorry, what?
我知道有点贵但我比较戏剧化
I know it's a bit much, but I'm a bit much.
很好你知道啊
Oh, good. You know.
我不打扰你看书了
Well, I'll let you get back to your books.
我差点忘了
Oh, I almost forgot.
今天是月初你有什么要给我吗
It's the first of the month. Do you have something for me?
一个欢迎来到11月的拥抱吗
Um, a "Welcome to November" Hug?
不我说的是你欠我的钱
No, I'm talking about the money you owe me.
等等你现在要吗
Oh. Wait, you want it now?
这是我们说好的还款计划
Well, that's the payment plan we agreed on.
每个月初75美元
$75, first of every month.
但如果你没现金你可以明天带来
But if you don't have the cash, you can just bring it tomorrow.
反正我这衣服上也没口袋
I mean, I don't have any pockets on this thing anyway.
好没问题我不是说我带钱了
Right, got it. I mean, I don't got it.
我是说也许明天我能拿到钱然后给你
But maybe by tomorrow, I'll get it and then I'll give it to you.
好的拇指指纹
Okeydokey. Oh... thumbprint.
得去清洁一下腹部
Got to go Windex my tummy.
她真的刚问我要75美元吗
Did she really just ask me for 75 bucks?
是的
She did.
同时她穿着3000美元的吊灯吗
While she's wearing a $3,000 chandelier?
确实
Yes, indeed.
天啊有钱人真是...
God, rich people can be so...
嘘到处都是摄像头
Shh. There are cameras everywhere.
我的文身依然有灼烧感你呢
My tattoo is still burning. Is yours burning?
就像野火很棒吧
Like a wildfire. Isn't it great?
不灼烧感是坏事
No. Burning is bad.
地狱才会灼烧
That's the whole premise of hell.
过来让我看看你的效果
Come here, let me see how yours turned out.
等等他们说应该
Wait, uh, they say you should
至少盖住24小时
keep it covered for at least 24 hours.
是的他们也说不能用棉签掏耳朵
Yeah. They also say you shouldn't put Q-tips in your ears,
但我每天早上都掏个爽
but I ride that high every morning.
"邦"是什么东西 "邦妮"呢
What the hell is "Bo"? Where's the rest of "Bonnie"?
什么我一直叫你邦啊
What? I always call you Bo.
-从何时开始 -一直都是邦
- Since when? - Since forever, Bo.
难以置信你临阵脱逃了
Unbelievable. You wimped out.
临阵脱逃我一开始都不想参战
Wimped out? I didn't even want to do it in the first place.
等等我们进错公♥寓♥了吗
Whoa, wait. Are we in the wrong apartment?
墙去哪了
Where's the wall?
-别担心老大我在修 -你为什么搞坏它
- Don't worry, boss. I'm fixing it. - Why'd you break it?
是水搞坏的水威力很强
Water broke it. Powerful thing, water.
创造了大峡谷尼亚加拉大瀑布月球
Created the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, the moon.
塔米
Aw, Tammy.
你就不能别管吗
Why couldn't you just leave it alone?
让我爱的人因为黑霉生病吗
And let the people I love get sick from black mold?
我不允许
Not on my watch.
她其实在帮你忙邦
She's actually doing you a favor, Bo.
邦我喜欢这叫法
"Bo," I like that.
忘了吧因为不会长久的
Yeah, well, forget it, 'cause it's not gonna stick.
经典邦语
That's such a Bo thing to say.
接下来是崔维斯
And here we have Travis.
他身材很好他喜欢举重和旅行
He's very fit, he appears to be into weightlifting and travel.
他很可爱右划
Ooh, he's cute. Swipe right.
接下来是另一个崔维斯
Next up is yet another Travis.
嘿我们在玩陌陌
Oh, hey. We're just playing on Tinder.
我知道我还不能约会但我能看看橱窗
I know I can't date yet, but I can still window-shop.
我对医保也是这样
I do the same thing with health care.
今天工作很漫长
So, it was a slow shift at work,
但我切换到了跪舔模式
but I went into extra grovel mode
-赚到了我欠你的钱 -谢谢亲爱的
- and came up with the money I owe you. - Oh, thanks, sweetie.
依然没口袋
Um, still no pockets.
给贝琳达去做个面部护理吧
Here, Belinda. Why don't you get yourself a facial?
你看起来有些毛孔堵塞
You're looking a little clogged.
只要能让你的世界变得更好就行
Whatever makes your world better.
吉尔搞什么
Jill, what the hell?
怎么了
What?
我为了那笔钱努力工作
I busted my butt for that money.
结果在你手里都没待够一秒
It barely even stayed in your hand for a second.
那又怎么样是你欠我的
So what? You owed it to me.
但你显然不需要
But you clearly don't need it.
但是你欠我的
But you owed it to me.
-但你不需要 -但是你欠我的
- But you don't need it. - But you owed it to me.
但你不需要
But you don't need it.
但我不要跟你再复读机了
But I'm not having this conversation anymore.
但你不需要
But you don't need it!
这件泳衣不是用来游泳的
This suit is not for swimming!
贝琳达救命
Belinda, help!
别碰我的钱
Don't touch my money.
救救泳衣
Save the suit!
救救泳衣
Save the suit!
我用的是120粒度的砂纸
I'm using a 120 grit.
我想过用240粒度的砂纸
Thought about going with the 240,
但那就只是炫耀了
but that's just showboating.
你在跟我说话吗
Are you talking to me?
没有我完全忘了你还在
No, I completely forgot you were there.
二道抹灰你真是闪闪发光
Okay, second coat of plaster, your turn to shine.
谢天谢地你回来了
Oh, thank God you're back.
-你去哪里了 -花商那
- Where you been? - To the florist.
我给你带了朵玫瑰
I brought you a little rose.
在哪呢
Oh. Where is it?
我裤子里瞧
In my pants. Kapow!
-你又去文身了吗 -花了两倍的时间
- You got another one? - It took twice as long
-感觉有两倍的爽 -真疯狂
- and felt twice as good. - This is crazy.
我同意没有刺的玫瑰
Yeah, I agree. A rose with no thorns?
这有什么诗意啊
Where's the poetry in that?
该死你说得对
Darn, you're right.
没问题给我弄根吉他弦和鞋油
No problem. Get me a guitar string and some boot polish
熄灯前我就能给玫瑰加上刺
and I can thorn that bitch up before lights-out.
那真有诗意
And there's the poetry.
富人是没有灵魂的混♥蛋♥
Rich people are soulless bastards.
他们都该在地狱里腐烂你说的是谁
They should all rot in hell. Who are we talking about?
吉尔穿着十亿美元的泳衣昂首阔步
Jill. Parading around in her billion-dollar bathing suit,
还要压榨我75美元
squeezing me for a measly 75 bucks.