极品老妈

Mom S06E02

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2020, 8:47 p.m.

去做放射治疗的朋友
to take me to my radiation treatment.
天啊哪个狼心狗肺的朋友会忘了...
Oh, God. What kind of heartless friend forgets to...
天啊是我不是吗
Oh, my God, it's me, isn't it?
我很抱歉
I am so sorry.
用水管冲垃圾箱时时间过得飞快
Time flies when you're hosing out a dumpster.
你能给我20分钟清理一下吗奈德
Can you give me, uh, 20 minutes to get cleaned up?
让我问问我的癌症
Well, let me check with my cancer.
你觉得呢老大
What do you think, boss?
前列腺先生说现在就得走
Mr. Prostate said we got to go.
之前很多年我只赌赛马
For years I was just a racetrack guy.
然后赛马场开了一家扑克俱乐部
Then the racetrack opened a poker club.
这很方便直到我为此丢了工作
Which was convenient, until it cost me my job.
但我想着这是件好事
But I figured, see, that was a good thing,
因为显然我赌博赚的钱
because it was obvious I was gonna make more money gambling
会比卖♥♥可伸缩帆布遮雨篷多
than I would selling retractable canvas awnings.
然后我拿房♥子去抵押了第二笔贷款
And then I took a second mortgage out on the house,
没告诉我妻子
without telling my wife.
当你拿到第二笔贷款没被发现后
And when you get away with a secret second mortgage,
显然是老天在暗示你
then it's obvious that the universe is telling you
可以动女儿的大学基金了
to dip into your daughter's college fund.
那是你最惨的时候吗
Was that your bottom?
不是
No, no.
最惨的时候是几年后
That was a couple of years later,
我躺在街头
when I was lying in the street
膝盖骨碎了牙齿在身边散落一地
with a broken kneecap and my teeth scattered all around me.
天啊我以为这种事只会在电影中发生
Yikes, I thought that only happened in the movies.
不也会在奥克兰发生
No, it also happens in Oakland.
我的一位赌马经纪人的同事用手电筒打了我
One of my bookie's "Colleagues" beat me with a flashlight.
然后他踢了我他说
And then he kicked me, and he said,
"你依然欠我们钱" 这在我看来
"You still owe us the money," which to me seemed,
有些不公平
you know, a bit unfair.
所以我在去看牙医之前
So I went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting
先去了匿名戒赌会当然了
before I even went to the dentist, and of course,
我应该先去看牙医的
I should've gone to the dentist first,
因为没人能听懂我在说什么
because nobody could understand a word I was saying.
那是22年前了那救了我的命
That was 22 year ago, and, uh, it saved my life.
问题就在这里
See, that's the thing.
我在会上听到了很多像你一样的故事
I sit in meetings and hear story after story like yours,
但我找不到什么共鸣
but I don't relate to any of it.
我的赌瘾没那么严重
My gambling looked nothing like that.
有两种赌徒
Well, there are two types of gamblers.
黄瓜和腌瓜
There are cucumbers and there are pickles.
黄瓜去拉斯维加斯输一点钱
A cucumber goes to Vegas and loses a little money
甚至可能是一大笔钱
or maybe even a lot of money,
然后回归正常生活
and then goes back to a regular life.
腌瓜去拉斯维加斯输光一切
A pickle goes to Vegas, loses everything
然后搬到拉斯维加斯住
and then moves to Vegas.
我相当确定我是黄瓜
I'm pretty sure I'm a cucumber.
或许吧但你必须记住
You may be, but you got to remember
黄瓜可能变成腌瓜
that a cucumber can become a pickle.
但腌瓜不能变回黄瓜
But a pickle can never go back to being a cucumber.
我怎么知道我是哪种瓜
So how do I know which one I am?
你可以试试可控的赌博
You could try a little controlled gambling,
看看结果如何
see how that goes.
你是让我去赌博吗
A-Are you telling me to gamble?
这是个圈套吗
Is this a trap? I...
如果你赌一点就能停下
If you can gamble a little and then stop,
那么你大概率没有问题
well, more than likely, you don't have a problem.
但你必须小心如果那引发了
But you got to be careful, 'cause if it triggers
严重的豪赌那你就得给我打电♥话♥
a-a bigger binge, well, then you got to call me.
好的
Okay.
我必须告诉你听一个
I got to tell you, it's really weird
喝啤酒的人给你戒瘾建议很奇怪
to take recovery advice from a guy who's drinking a beer.
这是苹果汁但我懂你的意思
Hard cider, but I feel you.
你感觉如何
How you feeling?
给你个建议别得癌症
My advice? Don't get cancer.
我记下了
Making a mental note.
这是什么车
Mm. What kind of car is this?
85年火鸟
An '85 Firebird.
是辆好车
Whoo, oh, that is a sweet ride.
在85年确实是
Yeah. It was in 1985.
现在只是三千磅的废铜烂铁加磁带播放器
Now it's 3,000 pounds of scrap metal and a cassette player.
我依然感谢你送我
Well, well, still, I appreciate you driving me.
这是我最起码能做的
It's the least I can do.
我觉得你最起码能做的是
Well, I would argue the least you can do
记住你答应过要送我
is remember you said you would do it.
我再次道歉
Again, sorry about that.
想补偿我吗
Want to make it up to me?
我们说过这个了我订婚了
We've been over this. I'm engaged.
不不不
Oh, no, no, no.
我在想你可以让我开车
I'm thinking you could let me drive.
你看不见
You're blind.
是吗那至少我还是个有钱的白人
I am? Well, at least I'm still white and rich.
我不觉得让你开车是个好主意
I don't think you driving is a good idea.
这是个糟糕的主意我知道
It's a terrible idea. I know that.
但现在癌症接管了我的一切
But right now, cancer is in charge of everything.
我想至少控制某些事情几分钟
I'd like to be in control of something for a couple of minutes.
即使只是一辆老火鸟
Even if it's only an old Firebird.
正前方有灯杆
Light pole dead ahead!
这是V8引擎吗
Ooh. u202dOh, what is this, a V-8?
这是V6引擎拜托你减速
V-6, and please, slow down.
老娘都给你烤了个蛋糕
I baked you a cake!
什么
What?
你在赌博吗你都戒赌90天了
You're gambling? You had 90 days.
没关系的这叫可控的赌博
It's okay, this is called "Controlled gambling."
你什么都没法控制
You can't control anything.
而我认识你快一辈子了
And I've known you almost your entire life.
我买♥♥了十张刮刮乐
I bought ten scratchers.
我要刮三张剩下的不刮
I'm gonna do three of them and leave the rest.
这会证明我想什么时候停下来都行
Which will prove I can stop whenever I want.
这太疯狂了
This is insane.
这就像是我说我可以在飞机上喝酒
This is like when I said I could drink on an airplane
因为严格来说我不在地球上
because I'm not technically on planet Earth.
严格来说你从来都不在地球上
You're never technically on planet Earth.
别管我这是匿名戒赌会的奈德教我的
Now back off. Ned from my GA meeting told me to do this.
奈德
Ned?
哪个傻瓜是奈德
Okay, which one of you idiots is Ned?!
好先等我吃一个肉丸三明治
All right, I'm gonna have a meatball sandwich,
然后我们再聊
and then we're gonna talk.
她像是只疯狂的长颈鹿冲进我的匿名戒赌会
She barged into my GA meeting like a cracked out giraffe
冲那个帮助我的人♥大♥喊大叫
and yelled at the guy who's helping me.
我没有大喊大叫我不会大喊大叫没这必要
I didn't yell, I don't yell. I don't have to yell.
你一直都大喊大叫
You yell all the time.
你想让我大喊大叫吗我会的
Do you want me to yell? 'Cause I'll yell.
这是你自找的
You kind of asked for that.
关于我是否需要匿名戒瘾会我心存疑虑
Look, I had my doubts about whether I need GA,
奈德建议我尝试可控的赌博
and Ned suggested I try controlled gambling.
很荒唐对吧
Ridiculous, right?
实际上邦妮
Well, actually, Bonnie...
合作点
Work with me!
又开始大喊大叫了
Yelling.
新人真的很纠结
When a newcomer is really struggling
自己是否是酒瘾者时
with doubts about being an alcoholic,
我就建议他们尝试可控的饮酒
I have suggested trying some controlled drinking.
为什么你没对我提这条建议
Why wasn't that offered to me?
因为你开着偷来的割草机
Because you came to your first meeting
来参加第一次会议
on a stolen lawnmower.
你都不在场
You weren't there.
她没必要在那个故事太传奇了
She didn't have to be. That story's legendary.
我听说你们只穿着
I heard all you were wearing were