魔多客（2021）

赶快行动吧 因为下一站是奥斯丁咯
Act now because next stop is Austin.
手别乱摸啊 哥们
- - Woo! Oh, watch your hands, buddy.
我不想现在走啊
Ugh, I don't want to leave now.
新单曲哦
Featuring the new single
你很快就能回来了 她都不会发现哦
You'll Be Back in A Minute, She Won't Even Know.
天意难违啊
Well, can't fight the universe.
他不对劲 跟着他啊 姐们
He's up to something. Follow him, girl!
那是儿童大屠♥杀♥的新歌♥吗
Is that a song by Child Slaughter?
不 这是我的观点啊
No! It's an opinion! By me!
好梦吧 童年奥斯丁
Enjoy your dreams, young Austin,
这将会是你最后一夜
for they shall be your last--
我靠 红色法拉利赛车床呢
Whoa, a red Ferrari racecar bed?
你都快死了 还在这跟我凡尔赛呢
Even in your final moments, you continue to lord your power over me.
等下 真的可以这样吗
Wait, can I really do this?
好处 我要是阻止了他
I stop him
他就不能长大 接管先锋科技了
and he never grows up to take over AIM.
坏处 我杀了小男孩啊
I'm doin' a boy murder.
但万一他是邪恶男孩呢
Oh, but maybe he's an evil child?
协同模式 垂直整合
Synergistic paradigm, vertical integration--
张大嘴咯
Open wide,
草莓仙子来了
strawberry fairy's here.
你干嘛呢啊
What are you doing?
我朋友说他希望能够在小时候的某一晚醒来
Uh... this is... my friend who said when he was younger
然后嘴里都是满满的果酱呢
he wished he had woken up with... jelly in his mouth?
- 天啊 - 奥斯丁
- Oh boy. - Austin?
我猜怎么这
And let me guess,
他对果酱过敏吧
he's allergic to jelly?
- 是草莓 - 这是来出差来了
- Strawberries. - This was a work trip?
我就是个陪玩呗
I was a plus one?
我都不知道我怎么想的 竟然觉得你会
I don't know why I thought I could expect you to--
我跟你说话呢 你先别想着杀他了好吧
Please stop trying to kill him while I'm talking to you.
但他夺走了我的公♥司♥啊
But he took my company from me!
你真令人作呕
You disgust me.
乔迪 你看 是大学的我啊
Jodie, look! It's me from college!
住口 你个草履虫
Silence, you worm!
我真是个没礼貌的小男孩呢
And what a rude little boy I am!
我从我那个时代跟着你过来的 太失望了
I followed you from my time. What a disappointment.
我那么的天才 结果成为了一个可悲啜泣的丈夫
All my genius reduced to a pathetic, sniveling husband
竟然用时光机带着大屁♥股♥女人回来看音乐会
that uses time travel to attend concerts with some big-hipped woman
而没有去征服世界
instead of taking over the world.
你年少无知的自大真的是太可笑了
Your youthful ignorance is laughable.
到时候你就知道 摩多客多喜欢大屁♥股♥美妞儿了
In time, you will learn that MODOK likes them big ol' juicy butts!
把时光机还给我
Now give me back my time machine!
我们应该成为完美世界的统治者的
We were supposed to be emperor of a perfect world,
而不是成为要替别人做事的废柴老爹
not some sad dad who answers to others.
我拒绝接受你成为我的未来
I refuse to accept you as my future!
如果你不是我 我就打你屁♥股♥了
And I'd spank you if you weren't myself!
- 天啊 - 就是啊
- Oh my god! - I know.
打了半天了 奥斯丁还在睡
Austin slept through the entire fight.
他睡眠好好啊
He's always so well-rested.
你刚刚杀掉了年轻的你啊
You just killed your younger self!
你是不是会消失了
Are you gonna be... erased?
不要啊 我的脚开始不见了
No! Nooo! My foot's starting to disappear!
好痛啊
It's indescribably painful--
我只是踩到了乐高
Oh, I just stepped on a Lego.
我们得找到这个时间线里的我 看看还在不在了
We must go find me in this timeline. See if I'm still here.
官宣 我怀孕了
It's official, we're pregnant!
激动吗
Are you excited?
我要策划葬礼呢
How can I be excited about a birth
咋还能对新生命激动啊
when I have to plan a funeral,
这可是我的梦想啊
for all of my dreams!
幸好 你还在
Oh, okay. Thank god. You still exist.
传送门肯定是回到了我大学
The portal must've just returned my college-aged self
那年的自己了
to the year he came from,
把一切都归会原样了
setting everything back to the way it should be.
我都忘了
Look! I totally forgot.
我们没去看演唱会是因为我发现
We missed the concert because we'd just found out
我怀上梅丽莎了
I was pregnant with Melissa.
你当时不是很帅气啊
Not exactly your finest hour.
不不不
- - No. No! No!
我想回家
I want to go home.
再搞一个时光机 带我们回家
Build another time machine and get us out of here.
不行的 坏了
I-I can't. It's broken.
修啊 这你发明的啊
So fix it. You invented it.
这个吧 你可能是听错了
Yeah, about that. I could tell you misheard me before.
我从来没说过是我发明的啊
I never said I invented the time machine.
是莫妮卡发明的时光机
Monica invented the time machine.
我是说我参与了时光机的发明
I said I indented the time machine.
莫妮卡发明的时候 我也在她旁边来着
I sat on it in the lab while Monica was, you know, inventing it.
所以想回家就得找到莫妮卡吗
So we have to find Monica if we want to get home?
你要是只想让我在场的话 那就在这就行了啊
Unless you want something indented. And then we could do it right here.
你好 你是评委吗
TWEEN MONICA: Hi! Are you the judges?
这是我做的项目 立即再生的果树
This is my project. An instantly regenerating fruit tree.
我要用我的大脑 和更宽广的心胸
I'm gonna heal the world's hunger problem
解决全世界的饥荒了
with my big brain and even bigger heart.
就这姐们在办公室把你气哭呢
This is the girl who makes you cry at work?
她开我身体的玩笑 都是乱讲的
She says mean lies about my body that I wish weren't true.
你好 我们是来自未来的
Hi, yeah, uh, we're from the future.
他搞坏了你发明时光机
You built a time machine that he broke,
现在我们被困在这里了 我们需要你再发明一台时光机
and we need you to build another one or we're stuck here.
很抱歉 来自未来的女士
I'm so sorry, Future Lady.
现在的我还不知道如何制♥造♥时光机
I don't know how to make a time machine yet.
我现在还在纠结一些基础的问题
I'm still stuck on more rudimentary problems
比如有机物起源问题
like spontaneous organic matter genesis.
我的天 我被困在过去了
Oh my god. We're trapped in the past.
既然被困在了过去
Well, gee, if you're stuck in the past,
那你就和你的未来生活失去了一切联♥系♥
you can't interact with anyone or anything.
你最后可能会失去你在未来拥有的一切
You could end up erasing everything you care about in the future.
阿甘虾店 不是 我是说 我的孩子怎么办啊
Bubba Gump Shrimp-- I mean, uh, the children!
放心 我不会让一切就这样给搞砸了
Relax, I won't mess with stuff.
对了 你的树好像有问题
By the way, there's something wrong with your tree.
你做了什么
What did you do?
我其实并不喜欢这个口味
I don't even like the taste,
我只是好奇我的身体受不受了你的水果
I was just curious to see if my body was capable of defeating it.
我年轻的时候可以
It was!
你这是什么玩意儿 我不喜欢
Whatever this is, I hate it.
第一名属于比利·麦吉尔克设计的电动土豆钟
First place goes to Billy McGirk for his electric potato clock!
你至少读读我的研究报告吧
At least review my research.
比利的钟根本就没走
Billy's clock doesn't even work.
但是要是走起来了会是什么景象
But can you imagine if it did?
那一定是让人无比震撼的
Astonishing!
至于说你嘛 傻女孩 搞科学是男孩子的专属
As for you, silly girl, leave the science to the boys.
说得太对了 我真是个优秀的辅♥导♥员
Damn, I'm a great guidance counselor.
你这是什么玩意儿 我不喜欢
Whatever this is, I hate it.
搞科学是男孩子的专属
Leave the science to the boys.
这就是场噩梦
This is a nightmare.
万一我们因祸得福了呢
But what if this was a good nightmare?
就好像 虽然有个狼人在后面追你 但这个狼人有一对大胸
Like when you're being chased by a wolfman, but he's got big boobs.
行 行 行 我们大家都喜欢狼人的大胸 那又怎样呢
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all had that dream. So?
刚才我们在演唱会的时候 我看到你是如此的无忧无虑 如释重负
Well, I saw you at the concert, and you seemed so carefree and unburdened.
你愁容不再 我们可以继续延续那种感觉啊
Your scowl lines barely visible. We could keep that feeling going.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我们去把这些年错过的演唱会都去一遍
We can catch up on all the other concerts
跟着赶赶潮流
and pop culture we missed over the years.
你想想 这下我们就可以在大荧幕上看我们错过的
imagine. getting to see Alvin and the Chipmunks:Chipwrecked
鼠来宝 系列电影
on the big screen the way it was meant to be.
你还是不明白 是吗
You don't get it, do you?
这回我们就没机会见证我们孩子成长 成家
We're never going to get to see our kids grow up, get married--
你知道吗 我宁愿余生
You know what, I would rather spend the rest of my life
独自被困在过去
trapped in the past alone