魔多客（2021）

让我不要这么悲哀这么孤独
so I'm not so sad and alone.
- 拒绝 - 拉布拉多会是最先倒下的
- Denied! - Labradoodles will be the first to fall.
赶快回去研发智能家电咕噜姆
Get back to work on the GRome.
抱歉 我都不该提
Right. Sorry I even asked.
听我说 董事会
Okay, listen to me. The Board...
什么都看得到
sees all
非常激动的要提前发行日期呢
and is very excited about moving up the release date.
抱歉打断一下 还有一点点邮件没送完
Sorry to interrupt. Just had a tiny bit more mail to deliver.
优♥惠♥券啊
Ooh, some Valpaks.
今天很厚呢
Extra thick today, I'd say.
莫妮卡 作为我们的科学领头人
Okay, Monica, as our Scientist Supreme--
恭喜咯
Congrats on that.
你觉得可以修复故障吗
Do you think we can get this glitch fixed
还是要延迟智能家电咕噜姆的发行
or do we have to delay the GRome launch?
- 我已经修好了啊 - 是吗
- No, I fixed it. - Oh. You did?
你好 咕噜姆 赫尔辛基的温度是多少
Howdy, GRome. What's the temperature in Helsinki?
赫尔辛基的温度是
The current temperature in Helsinki--
还是会杀人的啊
It's still killing people!
才俩人 之前杀十个的好吧
Two people! Down from 10!
已经很不错了好吧 我还要忙其他很多破事呢
That's not bad considering how swamped I am with all this other bullshit work.
摇摆果冻长出了性器官 以超快的速度和超多的姿势
The Jiggle-Os have grown sex organs and are reproducing at alarming rates
不断地在繁殖呢
and in an alarming number of positions.
死了两人 虽然已经很好了 但还是不够好
Two deaths, while impressive, is not good enough.
需要延迟发行了
We're gonna have to delay the launch.
我真的很失望
I'm really disappointed.
抱歉 我有话要说
E-excuse me, I have something to say--
是优♥惠♥券的事情吗 直接扔了就行
Is this about the Valpaks? Just throw 'em in the trash!
我觉得我可以修复故障
I think I can fix the glitch
只要我们黑进冗余的AAC阵列
if we hack the redundant AAC array
并对1080k SQL提要建立索引
and index the 1080k SQL feed.
如何啊
Monica?
还真可以
That... could work.
那看来
Well, then I guess
加快发行
the accelerated launch...
可以实现了
is a go.
摩多客 我把咕噜姆分配给你了
MODOK, I am assigning the GRome to you.
不会让你失望的
I shan't let you down.
不行啊 你看不出他只是想再当上科学领头人吗
No! Don't you see? He wants to be the Scientist Supreme again!
莫妮卡 这样你就可以去阻止摇摆果冻啪啪了
Oh, Monica, this'll free you up to cockblock the Jiggle-folk.
用激光枪把他们的小鸡鸡烧掉什么的 随你啊
You know, fry off their little penises with a laser or whatever you want.
我不会监督你具体的工作的 不去烧小鸡鸡你就被炒鱿鱼了
I'm not here to micromanage. Laser or you're fired.
摩多客的小吊坠 只有洗澡才会摘下来啊
MODOK's locket? He only takes this off when he's showering,
也就是说他从来没摘过啊
which he never does.
我的小加里
There's my Gar-bear.
来吧 得上路了
Come on. Gotta hit the road.
野牛狩猎季的第一天
First day of bison huntin' season.
- 大块头麦克 我 - 不许拒绝
Big Mike. I-I-Uh-uh, not today.
你看 是魔多客的吊坠
Look. It's MODOK's locket.
很漂亮 上车
It's beautiful. Get in the truck.
你不明白 这可是未来
You don't understand. This is the future.
不是虚假承诺 而是确凿的事实
A world not of false promises but hard facts.
科学为王的地方
Where science is king.
那咱们的吊坠呢
What about our lockets?
我的吊坠里装了你的照片
Mine with a picture of you.
你的吊坠里面装了
And yours with a picture of--
那不是我 那是什么
That ain't me. What is that?
是魔多客吊坠的照片
It's a picture of MODOK's locket.
你干脆把我扔进一个
Why don't you just throw me in a swimmin' hole
装满水鹿皮鞋的游泳池里算了
full of water moccasins?
我从没见过他这样 大块头麦克
I've never seen him like this, Big Mike.
他对自己的梦想失去了信心
He's losing faith in his dream.
自从他卖♥♥掉公♥司♥签了合同之后
Ever since he sold the company and signed that contract.
自打奥斯丁开始 奥斯丁
- Ever since Austi-- Austin!
奥斯丁是这一切的罪魁祸首 魔多客需要我
Austin's the cause of all of this! MODOK needs me.
那个忘恩负义的混♥蛋♥老是需要你
That ungrateful sumabitch always needs you.
这太重要了
It's too important.
他为之奋斗 我们为之奋斗
What he's fighting for. What we're fighting for.
如果你不明白
And if you don't get that,
也许你也不了解我
maybe you don't get me either.
大家都说 "大块头麦克 小心
Everyone said, "Big Mike, be careful.
小心这种事发生 ”
Watch out for this one."
现在我算是明白了
Now I done get it.
奥斯丁
- - Austin.
那么他的吊坠里有什么呢
I wonder what's in his locket.
让你失望了 老兄
I failed you, dawg.
我救不了你 没有你我也活不下去
I can't save you, and I can't live without you.
所以我建议咱们一起离开这个世界
So I say we leave this world together.
吃下这些包在美味有机腰果黄油里的氰化物药片
By eating these cyanide pills dipped in delicious organic cashew butter.
不 腰果黄油死亡球
No! Cashew butter death ball!
好吧 B计划
Okay. Plan B.
你会被人道毁灭
You get the humane death,
而我会用这把钥匙把自己捅死
and I'll shiv myself to death with this house key.
我腹肌太结实了
My abs are just too rock hard.
嘿 奥斯丁先生
- - Hey, Mr. Austin.
只是在州政♥府♥规定的午休时间里小憩一下
Just taking a quick state-mandated lunch break.
真希望我能不休息的为你工作
Ohh, I wish I could work for you non-stop!
我有个新计划 夏洛克
I think I have a new plan, Sherlock.
我称之为M计划
I call it Plan M.
夏洛克
Sherlock!
微波燕麦粥
Hmm, microwave oatmeal.
那个混♥蛋♥
Look at that asshole.
很显然在琢磨着怎么搞垮我
He's clearly planning my demise.
在魔多客的计划之前 我是不会休息的
I will not rest until I find out what MODOK's up to.
太烫了
So hot!
我必须阻止魔多客
I have to stop MODOK
修理咕噜姆
from repairing the GRome.
一旦他修好了 世界就完了
If he fixes it, the world ends.
现在也许能喝了
Well, it's probably ready now.
奥斯丁正在扼杀魔多客的灵魂
Austin is killing MODOK's spirit,
所以我必须杀了奥斯丁的肉体
so I must kill Austin's body.
太烫了
Aah! Ow! So hot!
搞什么 我才热了10分钟而已
What the hell? I only put it in for 10 minutes!
一切都归结于魔多客
It all comes down to MODOK.
现在该凉了
Well, it's gotta be cool by now.
还是那么烫
Ohh! Still so hot!
嘿 莫妮卡
Hey, Monica.
卡米拉 我跟你说过无数次了 要叫我妈妈
Carmilla? I told you a million times, call me Mom.
或者在我藏在死海牛里躲魔多客的时候
Or when I'm hiding from MODOK in my dead manatee,
可以叫我海牛妈
Momatee.
你为什么躲着魔多客
And why are you hiding from MODOK?
他在计划什么 他要对付我了
He's planning something! He's coming for me!
你应该看看他吃燕麦粥的样子
You should have seen the way he was eating oatmeal!
他精神错乱了
He's unhinged!
所以 青少年区怎么样 亲爱的
So... how was the Teen Zone, honey?
和四天前一样
The same as it was four days ago,
那天你本该来接我的
when you were supposed to pick me up.
好幽默 跟你父亲一样
That wit. Oh, just like your father.
你就是我父亲
You are my father.
你克隆了一个男性版本的自己 让自己受精
You cloned a male version of yourself to inseminate you.
嘿 宝贝 能帮爸爸个忙吗
Hey, baby girl! Can you do Daddy a favor?
抓住那边的斧头 杀了我
Grab that ax over there and kill me!
别理那个饭桶
Ignore that deadbeat.
来 让你的创造者抱一个
Now come here and give your creator a hug!
你刚才扎了我一下 是不是
You just spinal tapped me, didn't you?
我得确定你不是他乔装的
I have to make sure you're not him in disguise.
我跟你说过他在对付我吗 我告诉过你燕麦粥的事吗
Did I tell you he's after me? Did I tell you about the oatmeal?
自从你成为顶级科学家之后 好像就很少做科学研究了
Ever since you became Scientist Supreme, it seems like you do less science.
我做了很多科学研究好吧
I do plenty of science around here.
你这是想打击我的信心
You're trying to undermine my confidence.
你露馅儿了 魔多客
You've just given yourself away, MODOK!