魔多客（2021）

老爸 我现在只想支持你
Dad, I want nothing more than to support you right now,
但我得在这
but I need to be here.
我可以用马桶旁边的电♥话♥打电♥话♥呢
Placing calls on the phone that hangs above the toilet.
无法拒绝 抱歉了
I'm so sorry.
行吧 梅丽莎 我们去
Fine! Melissa, let's go.
我也不去
I'm staying here.
我要看看这床单适不适合我年轻的裸体了
Time to test these sheets on my young, naked body.
楼下有吃的吧
There's food downstairs, right?
这里真有不少大咖呢
Whoa, there's actually some pretty big players at this thing.
那个是古斯·布伦顿
That's Goose Brunton!
他和七个朋友一起创办了普浮古古
He and seven friends co-founded Pufugugu,
一款软件 给食物拍张照片
the app where you take a picture of your food,
然后有个滤镜就加上了苍蝇
and a filter puts buzzing flies around it
让食物看起来像一堆热气腾腾的垃圾
to make your food look like a steaming pile of crap.
叨咕叨刚刚用一千亿收♥购♥了他们
GRUMBL just bought them for a hundred billion dollars.
- 什么啊 - 先锋科技给了多少钱啊
- What? - How many billions did AIM go for?
服务员 再来点蘑菇塔
Oh, waiter! Uh, more mushroom tartlets?
我已经吃了三十多个了
I've already eaten, like, 30 of these.
我知道啊
Yes, I know.
老爸 那是谁啊
Dad, who are they?
叨咕叨的董事会成员 非常有权力
The GRUMBL Board of Directors. Extremely powerful.
如果我能把先锋科技拿回来
If I'm ever gonna get AIM back,
我必须要让他们刮目相看
it's imperative that I impress them--
演讲快要开始了
The presentation is about to begin.
我们要请一位特别的名人嘉宾讲几句话
We'll have a small word from a special celebrity guest
然后就是欢迎演讲 然后就开始大会了
then the welcome address to kick off the leadership conference.
准备好了吗啊 摩多客
You ready, MODOK?
必须的 梅丽莎 把我盘子拿到我们那桌
Completely. Melissa, take my plate to our table.
还有小肋条汉堡
Ah-ah-ah! And these short rib sliders.
必须牛逼
Oh, this is going to slay.
必须秒杀全场
This is amazing!
来介绍一下今晚的发言人
To introduce tonight's speaker,
唯一的 极富天赋的
we have the one and only, the wickedly talented,
托尼·斯塔克先生
Mister Tony Stark.
去死吧 渣男
Die, Scum Man!
我靠 是全息影像
Crap, it's a hologram.
虽然我接受了叨咕叨的大额出场费
While I've accepted GRUMBL's significant appearance fee,
但我不会代言你们令人作恶的破企业的
I do not endorse your loathsome conglomerate.
我发来了全息影像作为代理
Uh, in fact, I send my hologram as my proxy
因为此时此刻我正在积极地工作
because I am, at this very moment, actively working
要瓦解你们这个恶心的公♥司♥呢
to dismantle your whole disgusting company.
他说的是我们耶 好棒哦
He's talking about us. That's so cool.
然后呢 我们的欢迎致辞
And now, for our welcome address,
一个一直被人敬仰 崇拜的
someone we all respect so much and look up to--
- 字典中将领导者定义为 - 我
The Dictionary defines "leader" as-Me!
你说什么啊
- - Wait, what did you say?
我来致辞
I'm giving the leadership address.
你以为是让你来吗
Oh, did you think you were giving it?
你说会有演讲的啊
- - You-you-you said there's a speech.
你说 等不及听听我要怎么说了
You said "I can't wait to hear what you're going to say!"
对啊 是针对我演讲的评价啊
About my speech. I love feedback.
但我是特邀嘉宾啊
But... I'm the guest of honor.
我知道你蒙了
I see the confusion.
你不是来教大家领导力的 摩多客
You're not here to teach leadership, MODOK.
你是来学习的
You're here to learn it.
你是特邀嘉宾 没错 意思是我们特别想要邀请你
You're the guest of honor, yes, which means you're the guest
看到你的进步啊
we're most honored to see improved.
太丢脸了
- - Okay, hugely embarrassing,
但至少还保留了一部分尊严
but I think I've maintained some dignity.
摩多客先生 我问了 但是酒店经理说不行
Mr. MODOK! I asked but unfortunately hotel management said
没得商量的
there's no wiggle room on our policy.
如果14天之内拉过稀
You cannot go in the hot tub
是不能进热水浴池的
if you've had diarrhea in the past 14 days.
你干嘛非得现在说啊
- - Why are you doing this now?
我能申请的都申请了
I took it as far up the chain as I could.
所有领导都问了 还提了你的名字
I asked everyone. I used your name.
我说 摩多客先生拉稀了 我就这么说的
I said "Mr. MODOK's got diarrhea," that's what I said!
我要把地核炸一个洞
I'm gonna blast a hole to the Earth's core
然后让火山喷出来
and raise up a volcano!
然后看看大家都满嘴岩浆
Oh, we'll see how hard everyone's laughing
还笑不笑的出来吧
with their mouths full of lava!
老爸 你这样正中下怀了
Dad, that's just what they want you to do.
就是啊 这帮变♥态♥
Of course. These sickos.
他们就想被融化成糊糊 他们很嗨的
They want to be melted into goo. They get off on it!
不 他们就是想激怒你 然后看你出糗啊
No, I mean they're trying to make you throw a fit and act out.
在董事会面前出糗
In front of The Board.
董事会 我得让他们震惊啊
The Board. I have to impress them.
这是我唯一拜托奥斯丁的机会了
They're my only chance of getting rid of Austin.
我一直在想呢
Actually, I keep thinking about it,
这一切都是奥斯丁陷害你
and I think, like, this whole thing is a setup from Austin.
明知道你不用那个邮箱 还给你发邮件
Using an email account he knew you wouldn't check,
然后最后一刻误导的邀请你
the misleading phrasing of his last-minute invitation.
这种恶心人的招数我最会了
It's exactly the kind of slick gaslight I would pull.
就好像我朋友哥洛仙尼穿了紫色 紫色是我的专属 其他人都不可以穿的
It's like when my friend Roxanne wore purple, my color, forbidden,
所以我就让她以为自己要疯了
so I made her think she was going insane
雇了一个人打扮成怪物
by hiring a guy to dress as Grimace
大半夜的站在她卧室窗前
and stand in her bedroom window at night.
现在她都很讨厌紫色了
She hates purple now, by the way.
我懂了
I see.
这种变♥态♥小伎俩你显然比我玩得转啊
These wicked games, you know them better than I do.
你得帮我
You need to help me!
我已经帮你了 告诉你不要搞出火山来
I already helped you by telling you not to do a volcano.
再帮帮忙 帮大点
More help! Bigger help!
强迫这些人爱上我 渴求我的认可
To force these people to like me and crave my approval!
可以 但是有个条件
I'll help you on one condition:
我以后不去你家过周末了
I don't have to spend weekends at your place anymore.
行行行 啥都行
Sure, sure, sure, anything.
你还得按我说的做
And you have to do whatever I tell you.
我老大
I'm in charge.
- 可以 老大 - 好的
Okay.
为了弥补已经发生的事情
So if we want to undo what just happened,
我们的跟大家玩友善
we're gonna have to start by playing nice with people.
没问题 老大
You got it, chief. Nice.
明天要不要一起玩奔马高尔夫球赛啊 摩多客
Care to join us for Horse Golf tomorrow, MODOK?
想都甭想 西服小哥 滚开吧
Not in one million years, suit. Now creep away.
其实呢 我们很乐意的
Actually... we'd love to.
她答应咯 我们非常的期待呢
You heard her, we're looking forward to it immensely.
现在你可以走开了 你要知道你的友好邀请
Now walk away, knowing that your kind invitation
让你永远都是我亲爱的朋友啦
has made you forever dear to me!
好的 老爸
Alright, Dad.
今天结束之后会让董事们都对你言听计从的
We'll have these execs eating out of your hand by the end of this,
但你得友善 你得有趣
but you gotta be friendly, you gotta be fun.
今天 我的超能大脑就是为扯闲篇而生的
Today, this mental organism is designed only for kibitzing.
摩多客 你来了啊
MODOK! You made it.
- 这是谁 - 我的球童
- Who is this? - My caddy!
我从来都没有见过她
Who I've... never seen before in my life?
- 不行哦 - 不能撒谎啊
- Mm-mm, no. - Oh, we're not lying about that.
这我女儿 我球童是我女儿
It-it's my daughter. My caddy is my daughter.
那选匹马 开始吧
Right. Well, let's pick our horses and get started.
看看这克莱兹代尔马的大蹄子 我要了
Look at the paws on that Clydesdale! Dibs!
别担心 孩子 我的腿已经紧紧地锁住了你
Don't worry, boy, my legs are locked in all around you.
我不会离开了
I'm not going anywhere.
开始之前
Uh, before we tee off,
你有什么开场致辞吗 摩多客
did you have any opening remarks for us, MODOK?
安啦 大头 开玩笑的
Oh relax, big guy. It's a joke.
完美一击啊
Oh, that's a perfect shot.
我不知道怎么玩好这破游戏啊 梅丽
I don't know how to play this ridiculous game, Melly.
不用想着玩好 这不是今天的重点
Don't worry about playing well. That's not what we're doing today.
那今天要干嘛
Oh. What are we doing today?
找出他们的弱点
Figuring out their weaknesses,