魔多客（2021）

我靠 只有几片是缩小片 大部分都是
‐ Crap. A few of those are shrinkies, but most are...
增大♥片♥啊
...growies.
这个人的死亡 不给火鸡补偿
‐ I declare this death: no turkey!
傻屌♥抑制剂 你被截肢的胳膊还在吗
Stupid neural inhibitor. Do you have your amputated arm?
你现在要给我装回去吗
‐ You're going to reattach it right now?
加里的又可以打网球啦
Gary's tennis game is back on!
不要啊
Oh no!
傻了吧
‐ Suck it!
就非常的好 就是
‐ You know, it's so incredible to bring, like‐‐
只剩一片皮姆软糖了 不会持续很久的
‐ I've only got one Pym gummy left, and they don't last long.
开始 变小吧
Now, let's... get... small... er.
好的
Yeah.
奥斯丁 我来了
Austin, here I come.
其实到最后 对公♥司♥最有利的就是
‐ ...really at the end of the day, what's good for the company‐‐
等等 这谁啊 不要
MODOK: Wait, who's this? No!
我在谁里面 不对劲啊
Who am I in? No, that's not right.
默多克在谁里面啊
In whom be MODOK?
我在看奥斯丁了 他还没有合同
I'm looking at Austin, and he doesn't have the contracts yet.
我还有机会 但是很快我就要变大了
I still have a chance, but there's not much time before I get big... er.
先来看看回忆吧 看看我在谁脑子里捣乱呢
Okay, let's peep some memories, see who I'm ridin' dirty.
什么啊
Wait, what?
这变♥态♥去过我家
This sicko's been in my house!
看过我孩子睡觉
Watched my children sleep!
还跟我啪啪 我靠 我好像是在
Had sex with me? Oh crap, I think I'm in‐‐
乔迪
‐ Jodie. Wow.
我居然跟乔变你的生活的作者见面了
Me meeting the author of Jodify Your Life.
超酷的哦
Hashtag chills.
谢谢你见我啊
‐ Thank you for meeting me.
成为叨咕叨家用设备的品牌大使真的
Becoming a brand ambassador for the GRUMBL Home Device
就是梦想成真了呢
would be hashtag dream‐come‐true!
你也好啊 叨咕叨家庭智能小助手
And a hello to you, GRUMBL Home.
不是这个 这只是个方块
‐ That's not it. That's just a cube.
我当然知道了 好可爱的小方块
‐ Oh, yeah, no, I totally knew that. Such a great cube. So lovely.
你确定这样跟我老公那边没什么利益冲突吗
Are you sure this isn't a conflict of interest with my husband?
老默吗 那我哥们 我贼喜欢他那个疯劲儿
‐ Modawg? He's my boy. I love his crazy style!
但你要知道 我们感兴趣的是你
But you should know you're here strictly because we're interested in you.
先锋科技合同终版到了
‐ Uh, the final AIM contracts arrived.
谢谢了 男秘书 一下就好
‐ Thank you, male secretary. This'll just take a moment.
不 他签合同了 我卡在里面了
MODOK: No, he's signing and I'm stuck in here!
我又不能抢劫我老婆的身体 这是不可原谅的啊
It's not like I can hijack my wife's body. That'd be unforgivable.
除非 有一次她说我可以呢
Unless... one time she told me I could?
你觉得呢 我剪了刘海
MEMORY JODIE: What do you think? I just cut my bangs.
我再也不要刘海了
I'll never get bangs again!
默多克 我怀孕了
MODOK, I'm pregnant.
还有刘海哦
With bangs!
默多克 这次好像真的怀孕了
MODOK, this time I think I'm really pregnant.
我还想把刘海长回来 你觉得呢
And I'm also thinking about growing out my bangs, what do you think?
啥都没有啊
‐ Oh, there's nothing here.
我相信你 默多克
MEMORY JODIE: I believe in you, MODOK.
但是又一次被钢铁侠打败了 或许我应该全部放弃了
‐ But Iron Man stomped us. Again. Maybe I should give this all up.
去他么的钢铁侠吧
MEMORY JODIE: Screw Iron Man!
先锋科技 你的计划 都是要征服世界
AIM, your plans for conquering the world.
这都值得抗争啊 而且你不是孤单一个人
They're all worth fighting for and you're not fighting alone.
- 真的吗 - 我们的婚姻是双行道
‐ Really? MEMORY JODIE: This marriage is a two‐way street.
我支持你 你支持我
I'll always support you and you'll always support me‐‐
她确实同意我挟持她身体来着
She did tell me I could hijack her body!
我不知道我♥干♥嘛要那样
‐ I... don't know why I did that.
没事的
‐ It's okay.
反正我现在签字也很不礼貌
It's so rude I have to do this anyways.
我一边签你一边介绍下自己吧
Tell me more about yourself while I sign this.
我刚刚达到了80万粉丝
I just hit 800,000 subscribers‐‐
你是要把这支笔也打掉吗
‐ Are you gonna knock this one out of my hand?
我发誓我真不是
‐ I swear that I'm not‐‐
好了啊
Okay!
对不起 我好像控制不住我的身体了
‐ I'm so sorry, I seem to have lost control of my body!
要不你还是出去吧
Maybe you should get out of here!
不 女人在大企业里要多努力才走到今天
‐ No, as a woman in the corporate space, you've worked too hard to get here.
继续说啊
Tell me more!
我有提过我会两种语言吗 我还会说西班牙语
‐ Have I, uh, mentioned my reach in bilingual demos? Espa?ol. Habla espa?ol.
多样性很重要啊
‐ Diversity's so important.
打死他 乔迪 这什么啊
‐ Heh heh heh. Beat his ass, Jodie! Ooh, what's that?
如果你不舒服 我们可以改天约啊
If you're not feeling up to it, we could always reschedge!
我也想走啊 但我好像走不了啊
‐ I'd love to leave, but I don't think I can!
你还健身呢 健身也是我品牌里很重要的一部分
Oh, you work out? Fitness, actually a huge part of my brand.
很愉快啊 乔迪
‐ This has been great, Jodie,
但我真得在下班前把合同签了
but I really have to sign these contracts before close of business.
我有好多延伸到运动休闲的主意呢
‐ I have a ton of ideas for extending into athleisure.
真的太抱歉了
And I'm so, so sorry. Ah‐choo!
千岁
‐ Bless you.
妈咪 哎呀 默多克好大啊
‐ Mommy, wow! MODOK is big now!
默多克 我就该想到的
‐ MODOK? I should've known. Oh God!
说的不错嘛
‐ Great pitch!
奥斯丁 你甭想着签合同了
Okay, Austin. You can forget about signing those‐‐
签完了 密封了 送走了
‐ Signed, sealed, and delivered.
不要啊
‐ No!
我就感觉是你在捣鬼
‐ I had a feeling you were behind this.
太符合你疯疯癫癫的样子了
Your crazy style was written all over it.
我肯定要对你这种行为进行处分的
Of course I'm going to have to take harsh disciplinary action towards you.
- 你敢威胁默多克 - 不是我 是叨咕叨
‐ You dare threaten MODOK? ‐ Oh, not me. GRUMBL.
你没有控制权了
You're not in control anymore.
除非你开始工作
And unless you start playing ball,
不然你在先锋科技的时间也不多了
your time at AIM might be... limited.
做到了吗 我们的工作拿回来了吗
GARY: Did you do it? Did you save our jobs?
把工作还给他们吧
‐ Just give ‘em back their jobs.
为了我 默多克
Come on, do it for me, MODOK,
你最爱的童年玩具啊
your favorite childhood toy.
这就是我的计谋了
‐ Yeah, that was my trick on you.
我在咸鱼买♥♥的 还是别人花钱送我的
I got it on Craigslist. They paid me to pick it up.
因为他们太烦了
Because they hated it so much.
每个家庭成员都轮流吐了口水
Each family member took a moment to spit on it
才拿给我的呢
before they handed it to me‐‐
够了 你让我工作是吧
‐ Okay. Enough. You want me to play ball?
给你 你想要的不行的平板
Here. The tablet you're so horny for.
想要吗 把我的小黄人弄回来
You want it? Rehire my minions.
好的 复职了
‐ Whoa. Okay. They're rehired.
但之后呢 就要对你进行严密看管
But after this, you're on a tight leash‐‐
我 默多克 征服了我们的敌人
‐ I, MODOK, have vanquished our foes
恢复了你们本来我也不知道是啥的职位
and restored you back to whatever it is you do here!
默多克真牛逼
MODOK! MODOK!
我感觉你兴致不高啊 乔迪
I feel like you're... not in a celebration place, Jodie.
你把我的合约搞砸了
‐ You ruined my deal.
是你的记忆让我那么干的
‐ Your memories told me to do it,
所以你要生气 就怪你自己吧
so if you're going to be angry at anyone, be angry at yourself.
皮姆分子的药劲儿还没过呢
Haven't passed those Pym Particles.
而且奥斯丁给你的合约也不是真的
Anyway, Austin wasn't making a legitimate offer.
他利用你接近我罢了
He was just using you to get to me.
我收到了好多公♥司♥的合约呢
‐ I had offers from tons of companies.
我跟你说 最后没办法 我只能签了罗克森
And I ended up signing with Roxxon as a lifestyle influencer,
当了生活方式的网红
I will have you know.
默多克 这都是我一直想要的啊
MODOK, it's everything I always wanted.
上杂♥志♥封面 真人秀
Magazine covers, reality shows,
我自己的洗鼻壶 上面印着我的脸
my own line of neti pots with my face on it!
我要成为真正的品牌啊
I'm gonna be a real brand!
说到品牌 我又想到了全新杀死奥斯丁的方式呢
‐ Oh, speaking of brand, I thought of a brand new way to kill Austin.
品杀他
Brand him to death!
是哦
‐ Right.
两位小情侣要不要甜点
‐ Can I interest you two love birds in a dessert‐‐
我来的路上就要熔岩蛋糕了
‐ I called in a lava cake on the car ride over here.
选的很好 女士呢
‐ Excellent choice. Ma'am?
我想要分开
‐ I think... I think I want a separation.