魔多客（2021）

这周末不用面临婚姻的考验
Ah, a weekend free of the challenges of marriage,
为人父母的辛劳以及领导先锋科技的重任了
fatherhood, and the running of AIM!
六十三小时的无拘无束 自♥由♥自在
Sixty-three hours of unfettered recreation!
我没戴窃听器
I'm not wearin' a wire.
你戴了窃听器
You're wearin' a wire!
还剩62小时 54分钟
Sixty-two hours, fifty-four minutes left.
- 现在干点啥呢 - 跟我玩呗
- Now what to do? - Why don't you hang out with me?
我们可以算命啊 看看将来住在哪里
We can tell our future! Find out where we're gonna live.
跟谁结婚
Who we're gonna marry!
一个小破屋
A shack?
和《七宝奇谋》里的弗拉泰利妈妈在一起
With Mama Fratelli from The Goonies?
还要生两百个孩子
Two-hundred kids!
你快变成电视吧
Ugh, just turn into a TV!
好的呢 啤酒 酒精
Yes! Yes! Beer! Alcohol!
跟朋友一起喝啊 你最好的机器朋友
Drink it with your friend! Your robot best friend!
喝酒 我可以借酒消愁啊
Alcohol! I can drown my loneliness in alcohol!
是啊
Yeah.
不跟你喝 要跟值得被我陪伴的人喝
Not with you. With people worthy of my company.
- 那我♥干♥嘛呀 - 追泡泡吧
- Then what do I do? - I don't know, chase bubbles?
我可是超先进的科学机器人呢 我才不
Um, I'm a state-of-the-art sentient robot. I'm not...
哈哈 泡泡
Uh. Ho ho, bubbles!
怎么能浮起来的呢
Bubbles! How do they float?
这卡还有效吗
Uh, is this card current?
你交会费了吗
Have you paid your dues?
我就是那种想来直接来那种人
I'm sort of a walk-right-in kind of guy.
不行的
Yeah, no.
我喝灰皮诺的时候谁还在逼逼呢
Who's filling my ears with nonsense while I drink Pinot Grigio?
那个人认识我 领导 帮帮忙啊
Wha... Hey, that guy knows me! Leader, help me out.
告诉大家我比你优秀多少啊
Tell everyone how much better than you I am.
这是只能成功成熟的精英恶棍消费的地方
This is a sophisticated club for elite villains.
不是给你这种傻缺来玩的
Not a riffrafferarium.
你越级了 亲
You're out of your weight class, darling.
你傻了吧 我从来没这么重量级过呢
Joke's on you. I've never been heavier!
他是说你就是个小土豆
He means you're small potatoes.
我刚从黄松牛排馆吃完过来
I just came from Ponderosa Steakhouse!
我肚子里全是大土豆呢
I'm full of huge potatoes!
他们是说你不属于顶级精英恶棍
They're saying you're not a top-tier super villain.
黄松餐厅把我归类为超级恶棍呢
Ponderosa classified me as a supper villain!
我天 你快出去吧
Good lord, get out of here!
我是大人物的
I'm a big deal!
我刚刚打过了钢铁侠 把他靴子都偷了呢
I just fought Iron Man! I stole his boot!
是他踢你踢得太用力你才碰巧拿到他靴子的
Your ass stole his boot when he shoved it too far inside you!
你们都太刻薄了 让我跟你们一起玩吧
You guys are pricks. Let me hang out with you!
想让我们高看你一眼吗
You want to impress us, eh?
你把美队的盾牌搞来啊
Why don't you fetch Captain America's shield?
搞来就让你进来
Then we'll let you in.
但是他很喜欢他的盾牌啊
But he loves that thing!
而且我还得闯进复仇者联盟大厦
Plus I'd have to break into Avengers Tower...
你们看吧 已经在为即将到来的失败找借口了
Listen to him. Already making excuses for failure yet to come.
走吧 我跟你们说说我在加拿大看到的一栋房♥子
Come on, I want to tell you about a house I saw in La Ca?ada.
先生 被嘲笑的低级恶棍
Sir, the low-rent villains who are roundly mocked here
只能去无名氏酒吧跟那些小喽喽喝酒
usually slink away to the Bar With No Name.
你太善良了 给你个土豆吧
That kindness just earned you a potato.
我先帮你吃了一口
I got it started for you.
摩多客
MODOK?
在吗
You here?
大周五晚上的来老爸公♥司♥干嘛啊
Why are we at Dad's office on a Friday night?
我书里面有一整章节写的都是 我给我儿子吃的东西
There's a whole chapter in my book about recipes I serve my son
都是会坚果过敏的
who I claimed has a trendy nut allergy,
结果你跑到油管上发视频
and there you are on YouTube
也不知道为啥要吃十个士力架棒呢
eating 10 Payday bars for no reason!
我那肯定是有原因的
Oh, it was definitely for a reason.
我能去托儿所玩吗
Can I at least hang at daycare?
我我喜欢这里的托儿所
I love the daycare here!
他们有那种宝宝尿壶 让我感觉自己是尿尿大王
They have those baby urinals that make me feel like King Piss.
又是你
You again?
上次你就把能量棒都吃完了
The last time you were here, you ate all the Play-Doh!
我是准备参加十个士力架挑战呢
I was practicing for the Ten Payday Bar Challenge!
你都青少年了 去青少年区域
You're a teen, go to the Teen Zone!
还有青少年区域呢 终于开放了
Teen Zone? Finally, a calzone just for teens?
青少年区域啊
Oh, Teen Zone.
豆袋椅 好软和啊
Beanbag chairs. Par-a-doice!
要不要玩 我带了煮鸡蛋
Do you party? I brought hardboiled eggs.
救救我吧 快乐小分队
Save me, Joy Division.
我也喜欢音乐呢
Whoa! I like music too!
好吧 我要一个梨汁白兰地果味酒
Yes, I'll take a pear brandy cordial.
李子白兰地放一点点就好
Plum brandy will do in a pinch.
我们这有威士忌
We've got whiskey.
你把我的酒搞翻了 你个垃圾
Look what you did to my drink, you dirt man!
哇 你是莫诺克呢
Hey! You're Moomock!
十球瓶 莫诺克来了呢
Hey, Ten Pin, it's Moomock!
我是摩多客 先锋科技的
MODOK. Mental Organism Designed...
那莫诺克是啥意思
Yo, what's Moomock stand for?
- 我哪知道 - 玩飞镖吗
- I... I don't know. - Hey, you wanna play darts?
飞镖被人偷走了
I mean, someone stole the darts,
我们就往磅饼身上扔刀子啥的
but we throw knives and stuff at Poundcakes.
你怎么跟个娘们似的
You throw like a girl
还没有发现自己的潜能哦
who hasn't fully realized her potential yet.
你来了真好啊
Come on. It's so cool having you here.
你是那种大脑袋人
You're one of those big brain guys.
我们就比较没那么厉害
We're more of a bunch of fisters.
我好像懂你想表达的意思了
I think I know what you think you mean.
别烦他了 旋风犰犰
Ah, leave him alone, Armadillo.
聪明老哥不属于我们这个圈子的
Johnny College ain't one of us.
这人可受不了
The guy doesn't have the stomach
直截了当的街头犯罪
for down-and-dirty street crime...
我受不了啦
Ah, my stomach!
你敢嘲笑我没有阳刚之气
You dare challenge my masculinity?
我前不久才刚刚跟人♥大♥干一场呢
I'll have you know my last donnybrook was a bona fide fracas!
这哥们是来闲逛的
This guy's a tourist.
你来干嘛 你怎么不去索和老巢玩
Why are you even here, brother? Shouldn't you be at the Soho Lair?
那边已经不好玩了额
Well, it turns out that place isn't cool anymore.
哈哈 他进不去
Oh my god, he couldn't get in!
他们都是垃圾球
They're just breaking balls, man.
对啊 垃圾球
Ah yes. "Breaking. Balls."
我有一次为了反向操作弄坏了巴基球的保险丝环结构呢
I once broke the fused-ring structure of Buckyballs to reverse the...
就说他不属于这里吧
Told you he ain't one of us.
你问自己 现在谁在摇滚全场呢
You're asking yourself, "Who's rocking so hard right now?"
就是大甜腿 我的乐队
It's Sweetleg. My band.
我算是主场
I'm kind of the lead singer.
我绝对是主唱
I'm actually definitely the lead singer,
我也不知道自己有啥不好意思说的
I don't know why I'm being so bashful about it.
我不喜欢
I don't like it.
如果你喜欢听歌♥词 那你应该会喜欢我们的概念专辑
If you're a lyrics guy, you'll probably like our concept album
是讲一辆车变成一个女人然后跟我啪啪的故事
about a car that turns into a woman and then has sex with me.
我最后两块钱都放进去了
Hey, I put my last two dollars in there!
我要听卡莉·蕾·杰普森
I wanna hear Carly Rae Jepsen.
我可以利用这些傻缺拿到美队的盾
I'll use these fools to get Captain America's shield.
无名氏酒吧的小卒们
Denizens of the Bar With No Name!
我要招募你们完成一项伟大的事业 一次抢劫
I'm enlisting you all to a great purpose. A heist!
- 为你吗 - 抢劫是什么
- A heist for you? - What's the heist?
我不能说真话啊
Uh... I can't tell them the real reason,
他们几乎是要献出生命
that they're basically sacrificing their lives
为了一件只能对我有益的事情
for something that will only benefit me...
- 我们在等哦 - 我在想哦
- We're waiting! - I'm thinking!
穷♥人♥喜欢什么啊 知道了
What do poor people like? Oh, I know.
会给你们钱的
Money! You'll get money!
给多少
How much?
想买♥♥的都可以买♥♥到
Enough to buy whatever you desire.
那大家都能有自己的浮船了
We can each get our own pontoon boat!