魔多客（2021）

就是你♥爸♥在酒吧给我们看过你溜冰的视频啊
Look, your father showed us videos of you skating at the bar.
我爸给你们看我的视频吗
My Dad showed videos of me?
是的 总是给我们看呢
Yeah, all the time.
他说得对 你溜冰真的很厉害
He's right, you're a really great skater.
而且真的是个暴♥力♥酒鬼呢
And a very violent drunk.
我知道前几个月对你们来说很不容易
So I know the last few months haven't been easy.
- 是啊 - 这次也是
- Yeah. - Neither is this.
尤其是离婚的事情
Especially the divorce.
我担心你很受伤 卢
And I'm worried you're hurting, Lou.
但是推开身边的人 并不会
But pushing people away, it won't make--
她来了啊
Ah, she came!
卡米拉
Oh, hey, Carmilla!
老爸 跟你的舞一会再跳吧
Dad, maybe we can finish this dance later, okay?
好的 去找朋友吧
Sure, go... see your friend?
- 你要去周日吧试试 - 我不喜欢冰淇淋呢
- You gotta try the Sunday bar. - Oh, I don't really like ice cream.
不 这是一个空的吧台 让你计划你的完美周日
No, no, no, it's just an empty bar where you plan your perfect Sunday.
我的完美周日是在室外淋浴
Mine's an outdoor shower,
《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》艺术与休闲版
the New York Times Arts and Leisure section,
然后再搞一些激进的古董
followed by some aggressive antiquing.
你俩真奇葩啊
You guys are so weird.
我们跳完这支舞吧
So should we... finish this dance?
我们现在是什么情况啊
Where exactly... do we stand?
我最近看你和机器人啪啪了
Well, I recently watched you have sex with a robot.
好多次
Like, a lot of times.
你嫉妒了
And you were jealous?
我还看到你在上述的啪啪中
I also saw you sneak-eat loose cold cuts
偷吃藏在床垫下的冷盘
from under the mattress during said sex.
然后你嫉妒了吗
Then you were jealous?
没有 我还没准备好回到从前
No. Look, I'm not ready to go back to the way things were, okay?
我也没有 就这么就挺好
Yeah, me neither. Keep things chill, as is,
但是回到之前那样也很好啊
except maybe go back to exactly how things were?
你想要回到之前吗
Is that really what you want?
不 因为你明显不开心
No. Because clearly, you weren't happy.
摩多客 那晚的晚餐
Look, MODOK, the dinner the other night.
虽然覆盖着机器人的内脏 但还是很美好的
Outside of being covered in robot guts, it was pretty pleasant.
所以可以继续试试看
So... maybe more of those?
我愿意 以及冷切啪啪
I'd like that. And cold cut sex.
不过家庭聚餐也很好
But family dinners, also solid.
我们自♥由♥啦
We're free!
不 什么情况啊
Oh no, what happened?
他们说我给他们解开 他们就夸我
They told me they'd compliment me if I freed them.
跟你一起玩还不错 然后你的身体
You're, uh, okay to be around and your body--
- 怎么 - 有一个特定的形状
- Yes? - Is... of a certain shape?
我好像惹祸了
Oh. Yeah, I think I screwed up here.
快跑啊
Everyone run!
他们会一直逼你们跳舞跳到死的
These things will MTV's The Grind you to death!
不是只有用面包才能做成犹太白面包哦
Bread ain't the only thing we can make challah!
是不是很好奇眼看我死了 我怎么又活了
Wondering how I'm alive after you thought you saw me die?
- 机器人 - 算你们猜对了
- Robot. - Lucky guess!
该终结我开始的事情了
Time to finish what I started.
抓住他啊
Let's get him!
你们以为能打过我吗
You may have thought you defeated me,
但我比你们想的要强大的多了
but I'm more powerful than you ever realized.
这么多个月 策划了这么久
All these months, all my manipulations,
都是为了现在这一刻
they've all been leading to this exact moment.
不要啊 老爸
LOU: Dad, no!
不要啊 老爸
MELISSA: Oh no! Dad!
躲在我身后 孩子们
Get behind me, kids!
两个卢 小心啊
Lous, watch out!
天啊
Oh my god!
不要啊
No!
求你不要
Please.
我不是你的敌人 重点是我们的未来
I'm not the enemy. It's about our future--
嗯嗯 我让我们失望了 你是来复仇的
Yeah, yeah, I failed us. And you came here to get revenge on me.
不是的 我是来给你你一直想要的
No. I came here to give you what you always wanted.
我是来给你这个世界 我想给你看看它什么样
I came to give you the world. I can show you what that looks like!
- 我♥干♥嘛要相信你 - 因为我们是一样的
- Why should I trust you? - We're the same person.
你看看我 我在撒谎吗
Look at me and tell me I'm lying.
还真是诚实的表情
My honest face!
好吧 给我看 不过别耍花招
Okay, show me. But don't try anything.
- 我不会的 - 我会的
- I won't. - I would.
- 我跟你说了 我不会的 - 我也想相信你啊
- Well, I'm telling you I won't. - Well, I want to believe you.
那就相信我 我保证有用吗
Then believe me. Would it help if I promised?
- 有点吧 - 那我保证
- A little. - I promise.
- 你刚刚是眨眼了吗 - 没有
- Wait, did you just wink? - No.
- 等等 我眨眼了吗 - 没有吧
- Wait, wait, did I just wink? - I don't think so.
可能你忙着眨眼 没看到我眨眼
Maybe you didn't see me wink because you were too busy winking.
或者是你忙着眨眼没有看到我没有眨眼
Or maybe you didn't see me not wink because you were too busy winking?
要不我们数到五一起眨眼
Should we both wink on the count of five?
不
No.
行吧 我们去看吧
Yeah. Let's just get out of here.
我们之前是在你带你妻子回去看演唱会的
We met previously in an alternate timeline
另一条时间线上相遇的
where you traveled back to a concert with your wife.
不记得了 我可是不会忘事的
Nope, don't remember that. And I remember everything.
宇宙大灌篮里面的坏蛋叫做蒙斯塔 你看
The name of the bad guys in SpaceJam are the Monstars. Boom!
你不记得是因为被消除了
You don't remember because it was erased.
但我没有被消除
But I was not.
因为我头上的水晶 我不会被卡在时间线中间
Because of these crystals in my head, I became unstuck in time.
一个从未发生过的时间线的残留物
A remnant from a timeline that never happened.
在我自信的伟大之路上 你只不过是我要碾碎的
You are but one of the many I will crush along my path
其中一个物件罢了
to self-assured greatness!
为了摩多客的未来
For the future is MODOK!
但我不再是摩多客了
No longer MODOK, I became
我成为了 异常摩多客
The Anomaly!
以后就请你这么叫我吧
In fact please call me that from here on out.
我签支票都是写这个名字的
It's how I've been signing my checks.
你确定就叫这个吗
Is the shop officially closed on that?
你有更好的主意吗
Oh, you can do better?
时间跳跃者 不需要被看管的人
Uh, TimeyMcjumper? Doesn't-Need-No-Watch-Guy?
这个还不错
Oh, that last one sounded promising.
但是你嘟嘟囔囔的我都听不见 你说啥来着
Couldn't make it out with all the mumbling. What was it?
就叫异常摩多客吧
The Anomaly's fine.
总之呢 水晶就让我一直重复
Anyway, the crystals sent me spiraling,
不仅是穿越时间 也穿越了空间
not only through time but space as well.
去了我们不同的未来
Into alternate futures, our futures.
我见证了所有的未来
Where I witnessed every single one of them.
每一个都是失败的
Each ending in failure.
鹰眼都把我弄死了 至少不会更糟糕了吧
Hawkeye gets me? Well, at least it can't get any worse.
不是的
Oh, it does.
火鸡侠
Turkey Man?
好吧 这已经已经到谷底了吧
Ugh. Okay, well, now it can't get any--
等下啊
Wait for it.
做好准备啊 厕所死亡系列要持续一分钟呢
Get comfortable. This toilet death series goes on for a hot minute.
停下啊
Make it stop!
好了啊
MOTHER: Oh, here were go.
他们打破了我的发明
They broke my invention.
还骂我大头
They... they called me "Big Head."
总有一天 你这美丽的 撑坏了我子♥宫♥的大头
One day that big, beautiful, womb-wrecking head of yours
会梦想出美好的事物的
is going to dream up fantastic things.
你会改变世界的
And you're going to change the world.
你会改变世界的
And you're going to change the world.
改变世界的
...change the world.
世界的
...the world.
这么多年 对自己进行实验 开创先锋科技
All these years, experimenting on myself, building AIM,
想要征服世界 营造更好未来
trying to conquer the world and make a better future,
只是为了不被
only to be undone by choking
厕所里的意面噎住
on toilet lasagna.
其实你只有几次是被噎住了
Technically, you only choked a few times.
其他的时候你心脏爆♥炸♥了 因为便秘便死了
Other times your heart exploded, you died of constipation,
还有一次你在大碗里淹死了 贼牛逼
and one time you drowned in the bowl which was really impressive.