魔多客（2021）

没那么多钱 两人买♥♥一辆浮船吧
Uh... not that much. Maybe two people per pontoon boat.
买♥♥船责任很大的
Boats are a lot of responsibility!
有人跟你一起分担责任啊
Someone to share the burden with!
你错了 他确实是我们的一员
You were wrong! He is one of us!
我♥干♥嘛骗他们船的数量啊
Ohh! Why did I lie about how many pontoon boats they could get?
我直接说十艘船不就好了
Why didn't I just say they could have 10 pontoon boats?
你们都可以得到十艘船
You can all have 10 pontoon boats!
太多了 是真正的抢劫吗
That's too many. Is this a real heist?
我就知道 算了 还是每人半条船
I knew it! Alright, it's back to half-a-boat each!
我超爱浮船的
I love a pontoon boat!
好了 如果要抢劫呢
Alright. We're gonna pull off this heist.
会很复杂的 首先
It's gonna be complicated. To start, we...
- 我有问题 - 安加 你说
- I have a question. - Yes. Angar.
你干嘛点名叫他说 不该你点名啊
Why are you calling on him? You don't get to call on people.
现在是不是可以恰到好处的停下 去吃点东西了
Does this seem like a natural stopping point to go get food?
什么恰大好处 我刚开始讲啊
Natural stopping... I just started!
但是深夜肉糜 一整晚肉糜的地方还有一小时就要关门了
But Night Loaf, the all-night meatloaf place, is closing in an hour.
不许吃 首先呢
No food. Now the first thing to do...
等下 如果还要关门 算什么整晚肉糜啊
Wait, how is it an "all-night meatloaf place" if it's closing?
因为你吃完肉糜的能量可以让你持续整晚哦
Because it gives you that beef energy to go all night!
现在我有问题了
Now I have a question.
- 别 - 你问 十球瓶
- Stop, no... - Yes. Ten Pin.
需要黑客吗 需要阅读吗 我们都不识字的
Is there hacking involved? Or reading? Because none of us can read.
什么 全都不识字
What? None of you?
是的 以前我们帮派叫文盲帮
Yep. Our old gang was called The Illiterates.
还有带标志的帽子啥的
We got hats made and everything.
厉害吧 怎么样 他们在笑我们吗
Pretty cool, right? What does it say? Are they making fun of us?
谁在笑你们吗
Is who making fun of you?
- 女帽制♥造♥商 - 女帽制♥造♥商
- The milliners. - The milliners?
女帽制♥造♥商
Ooh, "the milliners."
你看看大科学家博士
Listen to Mr. Fancy Words here.
你先说的 我才重复的啊
You said it before I did!
对啊 为了取笑你啊
Yeah, to make fun of you.
都给我闭嘴啊
Everyone, shut up!
能不能就专注于计划的第一阶段
Can we please focus on just the first phase of the plan?
打完就抢还有什么阶段啊
There's no "phase" in smash and grab!
不是打完就抢啊
This is not a smash and grab!
我服了 我不干了
This guy's impossible. I'm out.
等下啊 融化哥 你需要这笔钱实现梦想的
Easy, Melter. This is the cash you need to realize your dream.
高胆固醇烤奶酪小吃车
A high-cholesterol grilled cheese truck.
专门为我这种老饿的人服务
For hungry boomers like me.
我又回来了
I'm back in.
好了 这个任务层次很多
Okay. This is a multi-layered operation with...
层次很多 就跟肉糜一样啊
Multi-layered. Like the meatloaf.
牛肉 火鸡肉 牛肉
It goes beef, turkey, beef.
火鸡肉都很柴
The turkey is always so dry.
对啊 柴火鸡
Oh yeah, dry turkey!
都闭嘴啊
Everyone shut up!
让我至少把第一件事说完
Let me at least get through the first thing.
有了十球瓶的爆♥炸♥球瓶
Ten Pin, with his exploding pins,
再把相机拿出来
takes out the cameras...
旋风犰犰 你想叫十球瓶讲话吗
Armadillo, do you want to call on Ten Pin?
是的啊 十球瓶你说
Yes! Ten Pin.
其实我没有球瓶
I don't actually have my pins.
哪儿去了
Where... are they?
我们来拿球瓶 只拿球瓶喔
Okay, we're getting the pins, just the pins,
然后就去抢劫
then back to the heist.
大家快看 这个橄榄球是个电♥话♥
Guys, look at this! This football's a phone!
- 天呐 - 我想要 我想要
- Oh my god! - I want it! I want it!
我要赎回这个倒霉蛋的爆♥炸♥球瓶
I'm here for this asshole's exploding pins.
给我500刀 就把球瓶还你
You want your bowling pins? You give me 500 bucks.
什么 好过分啊
What? That's outrageous!
你当初只当给我490
You only gave me 490!
- 付钱就是了 - 我没钱 都捐给国家公共广播了
- Just pay him. - I can't. I donated it to PBS.
你明明文盲一个 居然喜欢国家公共广播
You're an Illiterate who loves PBS?
- 我是十球瓶好吧 - 要命了
- I'm Ten Pin! - Oh, Jesus.
你们接受实物交易吗
Do you do trades?
矮油 不错嘛
Ooh, this is nice.
没错 绝对尖货
Yes. It's top-rate.
我也有同感
I'll say.
感觉简直太完美了
That feels literally perfect.
小心别把舌头割下来
You should be careful of cutting your tongue.
这种金属触感简直太丝滑了
The metal feels so nice and cool.
- 天啊 - 好锋利呢
- Jesus! - Wow, great blade.
球瓶可以给我了吗
Can I just have the pins please?
- 当然了 给你 - 好了 走吧大家
- Okay, why not. - Great. Let's get out of here.
不过我们得先穿上这些夹克 让大家知道我们是一伙儿的
But first we gotta get these jackets so everyone knows we're a crew!
尖叫的安加
Angar's Screamers!
啥 不行 咱们快走吧 这个人吓到我了
What? No! Can we just go? This guy's freaking me out.
不行 不行 我们是磅饼小分队
No, no! We're Poundcakes' Pummelers!
旋风棒棒的铁拳五人组
Armadildo's Fist Force Five.
我们明明6个人好吗 你刚才说了旋风棒棒吗
There's six of us! And did you say "Armadildo"?
没有呃 除非你喜欢
No... Unless you liked it?
起名字什么的最蠢了
Crew names are stupid.
就算我们要起名 也要叫魔多客六人组
And if we had a name, it would be MODOK's Six.
夹克我们买♥♥了
We're getting the jackets.
什么
Hm? What?
求你了 别再玩了
You really need to stop playing with that blade!
你这里怎么会有我老婆的戒指
Why do you have my wife's ring?
我以为我们快和好了
I thought we were working it out!
我要去拯救我的婚姻
I gotta go save my marriage!
你需要付钱的 不然就这就是你的下场
You gotta pay for that! Or this is gonna be you!
太疯狂了
That was crazy.
胃溃疡又犯了 让我喝点镁乳缓一下
I need a little milk of magnesia to calm my ulcer.
旋风犰犰跑到哪里去了 我们还等他一起去抢劫呢
Where the hell did Armadillo go? I need him for the heist.
估计又跑到他前妻家去了
I, I think he went to his ex-wife's house again.
她住在帕拉莫斯
She lives in Paramus.
谁有车
Ugh. Who has a car?
- 被收回了 - 抵债了
- Repossessed. - Lost mine in a bet.
也被收回了
Also repossessed.
我住在车里 但车坏了
Living in mine but it doesn't run.
- 喂 - 我是怎么教你的
- Hello. - That's not how I taught you.
早上好 这里是魔多客的官邸
Ugh! Bonjour, chateau MODOK!
六点以后就要说晚上好 你这个破机器人
After 6:00, it's bonsoir, you stupid robot!
- 我需要你 - 遵命
- I need you. - Oui!
- 谁啊 - 魔法球准备战斗
- Who's there? - Battle Orbs armed.
我是来找魔多客的
I'm... looking for MODOK.
魔法球退下
Battle orbs stand down.
你是他的秘书吗
Oh, are you his secretary?
秘书 魔法球重新进入战斗
Secretary? Battle orbs re-arm!
好的呢
Oh yeah!
你是谁 在这里干嘛
Who are you? How did you get in here?
我是魔多客的老婆
I'm MODOK's wife.
算是吧 呃 有点一言难尽
Sort of... Ugh, it's complicated.
总之 我工作上有点急事
Anyway, I have a bit of a work emergency.
你是魔多客的老婆
You're MODOK's wife?
我有一肚子话要问你
I have... so many questions.
我们也是 到底还要不要杀
Us too! Are we killing or are we killing?
空气还好吗 温度还合适吗
Is the air okay? Everything okay with the temperature?
我可以给你们变出一个天窗
It would be excruciatingly painful for me,
虽然我会超级不舒服
but I could make you a moonroof.
魔多客 你的车真啰嗦
MODOK, your car is really annoying.
别把我当成一辆普通的车啊
Think of me as less a car
把我想成 一辆货车
and more of, well, one, as a van.
和团队的一员嘛
And, two, a part of the team.
忽视他就好
Do not think of him.
好吧 那我把真正的电台打开
Fine, I'll just put on a real radio station.
您正在收听的是《真正的男人和狗》
You're listening to The Real Guy and The Pooch.
我们正在讨论的是伟大的适应体
We're talkin' about the great Adaptoid!
让我们来接听听众来电
Let's take a caller.