魔多客（2021）

触动人心的天赋
for reaching out and touching the human heart.
而且 她是一个很有影响力的电影制片人
Also, she was a huge powerful movie producer,
她能让他们在电影里给我安排个角色
and she made them put me in movies.
你能相信我们的身体是由星尘制成的吗
Can you believe our bodies are made from stardust?
把私生活展示给公众会不会让你精疲力尽
Uh, does it ever get exhausting having your life on display for everyone?
你可能会觉得这很迷信 甚至有点傻
Well, you might think it's superstitious or even a little silly,
但我坚信如果我不在镜头前摆姿势 我会死的
but I believe that if I don't pose for the cameras, I will die.
- 嘿 是你 - 我天
- Ay yo! - Oh my God! Oh my God!
奇迹人 能在我的撬胎棒上签个名吗
Wonder Man. Will you sign my tire iron?
当然
Of course.
- 啊 女士 - 我在
- Ay lady! - I-I-I'm right here.
在你和我的奇迹人约会之前
I didn't know nothin' about you until you started datin'
我完全不认识你
my buddy Wonder Man.
我用一晚上就读完了你的书
I read your book in one night.
你看到那边那辆出租车了吗
You see that cab over there.
以前闻起来像下水道
It used to smell like sewage,
现在闻起来像辆车
and now it smells like a car.
一辆车
A car!
乔变你生活的第八步
Aww. The eighth step of Jodifying.
“让事物闻起来就像它们本来的样子 ”
"Make things smell like they are."
我能抱一下你吗
Can I have a hug?
我能借一千美元吗
Can I borrow a thousand dollars?
不行
No.
另一面
Wrong side!
畅销书排行榜第二
Number two on the Best Sellers' list!
美国已经由你引领风潮了
America's ready to taste your goop.
我们要让全国人♥民♥都爱上你的风格
And we want America to say it tastes great.
棒极了
Amazing!
并不棒 你太过高兴了 大家不喜欢看你开心
Not amazing. You're so happy! People hate that.
哦不
Oh no.
你刚掉到第三
You just dropped to three.
什么 他们更新名单的速度到底有多快
What? How quickly are they updating this list?
你上了热门话题 现在热度降了
You were trending and now you're trundling,
过气的床可没人会去睡
like the bed under the bed no one wants to sleep on.
我该怎么办 我想当头猪 而不是床
What do I do? I want to be a pig, not a bed!
你要场狗血大戏
You need drama.
用丑闻把你推到第一位
Something scandalous to push you to number one.
你认识能在你的生活中
Do you know anyone who can bring
上演无可挽回的闹剧的人吗
big irreparable public drama into your life?
即便我真的得了狂犬病 那也不是浣熊咬的
And if I did have rabies, it would not be from a raccoon.
而是拜我公♥寓♥里超多老鼠所赐
It would be from the many rats that I live with in my apartment.
晚安
Goodnight!
搞定了 走吧
We're done here. Let's go.
太好了 因为这家餐厅太疯狂了
Great, because this restaurant's insane.
“儿童派对尺寸”是什么意思
What does "child's party size" mean?
一份“尿布等量炒面”又是多少钱
And how much is a "diaper's worth of chow mein"?
我们干嘛来这里
Why did we ever come here?
妈 我不想弹了
Mom, I want to stop playing.
我手指都开始流血了
My fingers are starting to bleed!
宝贝儿 等鲁保罗来了你就可以停了
Oh, honey, you can stop playing when RuPaul gets here.
我就不该翻篇
I shouldn't be turning pages.
我应该在钢琴上 唱着闷骚的歌♥
I should be up on the piano, singin' sultry songs
像《一曲相思情未了》里一样爬来爬去
and crawlin' around like the Fabulous Baker Boy I am!
不 我希望鲁保尔能那么做
No. I'm hoping RuPaul does that!
你闭嘴 做个像我书里第18章
Now shush up and be the perfect children
写的那样 做个完美的小孩
I described in chapter 18.
- 他来了 - 谁
- He's here. - Who?
这帽檐挡的我什么都看不到
I can't see past this damn brim!
魔多客
MODOK?
他看起来难以置信
Wow, he looks incredible.
难以置信的惨不忍♥睹
Yeah, an incredible train wreck.
这一切都是你精心策划的
And you orchestrated this whole thing.
我应该说“猪心策划” 你这个小猪猪
Or should I say "porkestrated," you pig.
我们找到松露了
We've hit the truffle trove!
你看起来棒极了 魔多客
Wow, you look great, MODOK.
我喜欢你的新打造的骨相
I love your new bone structure.
谢谢你 乔迪
Why, thank you, Jodie.
我的颧骨是自己挑的
I picked out my cheekbones all by myself.
麻烦你千万别找事儿
Please don't make a scene.
现在不适合跟奇迹人打架
It's not the time or the place to pick a fight with Wonder Man,
即使你我心知肚明肯定是你赢
even though you and I both know you'd win.
再说大家都看着呢
And with everyone watching?
你会立刻成为传奇的
I mean, you'd be an instant legend.
但是不要哦
- Wow. - But don't do it.
千万不许哦
Don't you dare... do it.
别担心 我已经变了
Oh. Well, don't worry. I've changed.
我是一个新的人了 我真的是把其他男人的器♥官♥移♥植♥到了我身上
I'm a new man. I literally have pieces of other men grafted to my body.
看看这是谁啊
Oh, look who I found!
摩多客 很高兴你今晚能来 哥们
And MODOK, I'm glad you're here tonight, brother.
彼此彼此
As am I.
跟我女友们的丈夫们成为朋友
Being friends with my girlfriends' husbands
对我来说一直都是很重要的
has always been very important to me.
这个纹身是混合家庭的意思 瓦坎达语的
This tattoo means "blended family" in Wakandan.
一样 很重要
Same here. About the importance.
对了 我跟孩子们说了
And just so you know, I told the kids
不用着急叫我爸爸呢
there is no rush to call me "daddy."
多谢了
Thanks for that.
跟我一起走红毯吧
Would you like to walk the red carpet with me?
太好了
More than anything!
让一让 布鲁斯和阿仕顿 这边来了一个
Make room, Bruce and Ashton, because here comes another guy
对所有事都很大度的人
who's being very cool about everything!
来吧
Bring it in.
如果不是为了乔迪 我现在早把你揍死了
If it weren't for Jodie, I'd be bathing in a river of your blood.
我会把你的肠子扯出来喂给野狗吃
I'd rip out your throat and feed it to stray dogs.
如果不是为了乔迪 我也会打爆你的
If it weren't for Jodie, I'd wreck you, bro.
但是我会是待着善意的打爆你
But the only killing I'm doing is with kindness.
官宣了 我们要合体了
It's official! We're going four-wheeling together!
我很喜欢这男人睡在我床上呢
I love that this man sleeps in my bed!
乔迪 他们很和谐啊
Jodie, they're just holding each other sweetly.
你不是说会很狗血的吗
You said there would be drama.
摩多客所到之处 必定有灾难跟随
Wherever MODOK goes, catastrophe follows.
真烦 妈妈就是利用我们让她脸上有光
This sucks. Mom's just using us to make her look good.
是啊 太多此一举了 她的裙子已经让她很美了
Yeah! Which is stupid because her outfit already makes her look amazing!
不管了 既然是个趴体 那我们就好好趴体一下吧
Screw this. If this is a party, then let's go party.
幸亏老爸的酒柜从来不上锁
Good thing Dad doesn't keep a lock on the liquor cabinet.
来当坏孩子吧
Yeah, time to be bad.
但可能我们能做的最坏的事 就是让我们干嘛就干嘛了
But maybe the baddest thing we can do is do as we're told.
没有我爱的咖啡酒啊
Damn, no Kahlua. That's my drink.
- 这什么 - 不是吧
- What is this? - Oh, no way!
这是老爸的瘦小子拉瑟里塔枪
It's Dad's Skinny Boy Laserita Gun.
它是一种光 不喝东西也能让你醉
It's a ray that makes you feel drunk without drinking anything.
我不应该拿着这玩意
I shouldn't be holding this.
我以为里面是安全子弹呢
I thought it was one of those safe bullet guns.
我感觉好像金色女孩啊
I feel like a Golden Girl!
打我
Shoot me!
我不知道我有没有感觉啊 谁在那边胡说八道
I don't know if I'm feeling it. Did I hear someone talking shit?
听好了 奇迹人
Listen closely, Wonder Man.
你要大力打我 红毯上到处都是血
You're going to ruin Jodie's big night by punching me so hard
然后把乔迪的派对毁掉
that you'll get blood all over this red carpet, ruining it.
我才不会这样对待我女王呢
I would never do that to my queen.
我会跪在地上满地找牙
I'm gonna be on my hands and knees looking for my teeth in the grass
我孩子哭成一片
while my kids cry!
如果有人要挨揍 那也得是你揍我
If anyone's going to get punched, it's me by you.
不 你要在我孩子面在把我打得屁滚尿流
Nah-uh. You're going to kick my dick off in front of my son.
不用了 哥们
I'm cool, brother.
哎呦 我把马提尼倒了你一身啊
Oh no! I got martini all over you.
太丢人了
Ugh. This is so embarrassing.
他才不丢人呢
He's not embarrassed at all.
身材那么好
He's got a gorgeous body!
深水炸♥弹♥来咯
Here comes the mothertruckin' ruckus!