魔多客（2021）

你做到了 默多克 你救了先锋科技
‐ You did it, MODOK, you saved AIM.
可以享受回归正常了
Time to enjoy a return to normalcy.
这都是啥啊
What is all of this?
这是精益脆脆麦片
‐ Oh, this is Go Lean Crunch,
这是精益七种谷物
and this is Go Lean Seven Grain.
一个麦片里面有七种谷物太多啦
‐ Seven grains is too many grains for one cereal!
我的折磨小屋呢
What happened to my torture chamber?
叨咕叨把这边改成托儿所了
‐ GRUMBL had it changed to a daycare.
但我在这里折磨了第一个神盾局特工呢
‐ But I tortured my first SHIELD agent in here.
布莱恩 人超好 也可逗了
Brian. Oh, really nice guy. Super funny, too.
我的肺好像要不行了呢
"Ahhh, I think my lung collapsed."
他确实没说谎
He wasn't lying.
关闭激光电网安全系统
‐ Just disabling the laser‐grid security system.
好了 孩子们
All good, kids! Yayyy!
他还活着吗
Did he make it?
等会再处理这些改变吧
‐ I'll deal with these changes later.
还是疯狂工作 让我的怒气自行消散吧
Better to let my anger fester while I bury myself in my work.
你 这个故意走到我精神震爆面前
You, guy who weirdly walked in front of my mindblast
有意伤害了自己的人
and purposefully injured himself.
我叫加里 是加菲尔德的简称 不过我确实很喜欢周一啊
‐ Name's Gary. Short for Garfield, though I do like Mondays.
闭嘴 为什么没有人在操作我的大脑皮层机械手
‐ Hey, shut up. Why is no one working on my Cerebral Cortex Manipulator?
可以黑进大脑的
It hacks the brain,
让我控制他人的行为
allowing me to control another's actions.
我想让这老鼠跳电滑步呢
I was trying to make the rat do the Electric Slide,
显然还有很多要推进的啊
so clearly there is more work to be done.
我团队呢
Where's my team?
就是我啦
‐ Ta‐da! You're looking at him.
叨咕叨把其他人都安排走了
Uh, GRUMBL, um, reassigned the rest.
什么啊
‐ They did what?
他们认为大脑奴役者不适合占用这么多资源
‐ Yeah. I mean, they didn't think a brain enslaver
就把其他人掉到新项目去了
was the best use of resources and moved them onto a new project:
宠物运动追踪器
Fitbits for pets!
什么
‐ What?
你能不能把我胳膊接上呀
‐ Uh, hey, uh, I was actually hoping you could reattach my arm?
自从你给我弄下来之后
You know, ever since you separated it from me,
我衣服都不合身了呢
my shirts are all, um, fitting, uh, badly.
奥斯丁呢
‐ Where's Austin? Where's‐‐
你个蠢货 怎么可以亵渎我神圣的壁画呢
Fool! Why would you ever desecrate my magnificent mural?
我妈 超喜欢这个壁画的 真的是赞叹它的美丽
‐ Me? Big fan. Love the mural. I weep in awe of its beauty.
但是有些员工投诉说不太合适
But some employees filed a complaint about its "appropriateness."
为什么啊
‐ What? Why?
谁敢投诉
Who dares complain?
这是保密的
‐ Ooo, that's confidential.
哈哈 是我啦
‐ Ha ha! It was me!
食屎啊你
Suck it!
够了 我想要一切恢复原样
‐ Enough! I want everything back to the way it was!
太不巧了 哥们
‐ Ahh, bummer, dude,
叨咕叨受够先锋科技的时候 你就让出了控制权啊
you gave away control when GRUMBL acquired AIM.
合同里写得很清楚的
It was all clearly stated in the contracts.
我不记得有写啊 我脑子可是电脑好吧
‐ What? I don't remember that. And I have a computer brain.
你看 第一段写了 你自愿放弃全部控制权
‐ ...As you can see, the first part says you'll relinquish total control
将其转让给叨咕叨董事会
to the GRUMBL board of directors post‐haste‐‐
不行 我要控制先锋科技的
‐ No! I control AIM!
不行吧
‐ Sort of "no"?
不过你可以掌控团队平板啊
But you are in control of Team Tablet!
下一步什么时候推进啊
When can we expect some movement on that?
永不 默多克说什么就是什么
‐ Never! What MODOK says goes!
默多克说 壁画要留着
And to quote MODOK, "The mural stays!"
等我弄完了 你不会怀念这个眼中钉的
‐ When I'm done, you won't even miss that eyesore.
这才叫墙面装饰嘛
MODOK: That's how you decorate a wall.
你要不要再抱一抱治愈小兔华夫饼先生
‐ Do you want to hold Mr. Waffles the therapy bunny again?
我想要把奥斯丁化学阉♥割♥了
‐ I want to chemically castrate Austin!
要不再摸几下吧
Uh, maybe just a few more pets.
你已经蒸发了一个外包承包商了
‐ Well, you vaporized an outside contractor.
那是你的第一次
That's your first strike.
严格意义上来说 我第一次战术袭击
‐ Well, technically, my first tactical strike
是在子♥宫♥里就把我的双胞胎兄弟给吸收了
was absorbing my twin in the womb.
我还在你体内哦
TWIN: I'm still inside you!
我 肚子叫
‐ That was... gas.
我推荐强制你休假三天 停职
‐ I'm recommending a three‐day forced "sabbatical." Suspension.
这地方没我不行的
‐ This place doesn't function without me.
我是老大 头头儿 老大哥 大佬哥
I'm the boss. The Big Cheese. The King Queso. The Cheddar Daddy.
- 大佬哥 - 有这个词的
‐ Cheddar Daddy? ‐ Is a thing people say!
我的大脑
Gah, my brain!
刚刚这个是消缓抑制剂
‐ That'd be the neural inhibitor.
为了对应条款中禁止杀戮这一项的
In accordance with the "No Killing" clause in your contract,
你不能再炸死其他员工了
you can no longer "blast" any more employees.
你太愚蠢了 给我马屌♥一般的大脑戴上了精神避孕套
‐ It's idiotic to put a mental condom on the horse penis that is my mind!
休假期间要把你的门禁卡交回来
‐ I'll need your security access card during your sabbatical.
但是没有赔偿 默多克是不会走的
‐ But MODOK will not leave without reparations.
你宝贝的华夫饼先生是我的了
Your precious Mr. Waffles is now mine!
我都不想要这破兔子
Eh, I didn't even want this.
又来
MAN: Not again!
我们竟然都被开除了
GARY: I cannot believe they laid us all off!
什么 要开也应该是我来开啊
‐ What? These are my people to fire!
我真希望有办法
I wish there was something I could do,
但是先锋科技被叨咕叨控制了
but GRUMBL controls AIM now.
严格来说 他们还没有控制权呢
‐ Technically, they don't control it yet.
合同要先给叨咕叨总部审查一下
The contracts had to be reviewed by GRUMBL headquarters
明天才拿去给奥斯丁正式签署
before they arrive tomorrow for Austin to officially sign.
如果他改变了想法呢
‐ But what if he changes his mind.
或者我们改变他的想法 就这么办
Or we changes his mind! That's it!
我们闯进奥斯丁办公室 签字之前黑进他大脑
We break into Austin's office, hack his brain before he signs,
然后夺回先锋科技控制权
and revert control of AIM to me!
我们要抢劫大脑了 同志们
We're doin' a mind heist, baby!
我们可以抢劫大脑 但是灵魂不能动哦
‐ We can heist the mind, but we must leave the soul.
灵魂属于上帝的
That belongs to God.
好了 加里
‐ All right, sure, Gary.
抢劫大脑任务会很危险的
‐ The mind heist mission will be risky, dangerous.
你们很多人可能都回不来了
Hell, most of you won't be coming back.
但是不用担心 如果你们牺牲了 你们的家人都会收到
But not to fear, if you shall fall, your family will be provided for
一个冻火鸡大礼包
with the gift of a frozen Butterball Turkey!
不是那种小鸡鸡哦 是15磅的大鸡呢
And not those skinny‐minnies either. We're talking 15‐pounders.
第一步
Step one:
没有了门禁卡 我们得先进到先锋科技里面去
Without my security access card, we'll have to break into AIM.
幸亏有个弱点
Luckily, there's a weak spot‐‐
然后就该我了
‐ That's where I come in!
不 我幼稚的儿子来帮我们
‐ No! My childish boy will help us exploit it.
进去之后 我会修复一下皮质操纵器
MODOK: Once we're in, I'll modify the Cortex Manipulator
直接就能弄到奥斯丁大脑上
so I can attach it directly to Austin's brain.
对对对对对 然后就该我了
‐ Right‐right‐right! Right‐right‐right! And that‐‐ then that's where I come in!
我变成一把大锯子然后砍掉奥斯丁的脑袋
I morph into a chainsaw and cut off Austin's skull!
不 必须看着很合法
‐ No! This has to look legit.
所以我要缩小到微观大小
Therefore I'm gonna shrink down to microscopic size
然后通过一支镖枪进入奥斯丁的身体
and enter Austin's body via a dart gun.
然后我就传给大家 让大家都欣赏下这神奇的座驾
Then I'll pass it around so everyone can marvel at the adorably tiny cockpit.
抱歉 我什么时候上啊
‐ ‘Scuse me. Where the hell do I come in?
你的作用 是梯子
‐ Your purpose will be... ladder!
太扯淡了吧
‐ This is some bullshit.
我的缩小药片在很高的架子上呢
‐ My shrinking pills are on a really high shelf.
你有悬浮椅 你可以飞的好吧
‐ You have a hoverchair. You can fly!
今天是用腿日啊
‐ It's a leg day!
我 默多克 将皮姆粒子进行还原
I, MODOK, reverse engineered Pym Particles
并且改进变成了可咀嚼片
and then improved their design by making them chewables!
我吞不下药片的
I can't swallow pills.
擅自闯入公♥司♥领域
‐ Trespassing on company grounds?
莫妮卡
‐ Monica!
看看奥斯丁会怎么说吧
‐ Let's see what Austin has to say about this.
你以为我害怕
‐ You think I'm afraid of‐‐
跑啊
Run!