不安感

Oh, my God.
真为你高兴
I'm so happy for you.
-祝贺 -谢谢
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
-讲完故事 讲完故事 -好
- Finish the story. Finish the story. - Okay, okay.
刚说到哪儿了
So, um, okay. So, where was I?
我走进去 布满了我最爱的花
I walked in and my favorite flowers are, like, everywhere.
还有很多气球
And he had these little notes
上面贴着小纸条
that were, like, tied to balloons.
气球 真的吗
Balloons. Wow, for real?
这太疯狂了 气球
Girl, that... that is crazy. Balloons.
气球拴在家人和朋友的身上 抱歉
Yeah, they were, like, tied to my friends and family... sorry.
-气球 -太不可思议了 你值得这些
- Wow, balloons. - That's insane. You deserve it.
好啊
Hi, girl.
我要一辈子单身了
It is never happening for me.
你听上去像在锻炼 但你从不锻炼
You sound like you're exercising. You don't exercise.
戴安订婚了
Diane got engaged.
-和他的黑人男友吗 -是的
- To her black boyfriend? - Yes!
我去
Damn!
他们对非黑女下手真快
They wife "others" up with a quickness.
就是说啊 她们都不需要长得可爱
Right? And they don't even have to be that cute.
我不是要损人
You know, I'm not trying to be shady,
但为什么她配结婚 而我不配
but why does she deserve to get married, and I don't?
打住 谁说你不配结婚
Girl, stop. Who says you don't deserve to be married?
显然是耶稣
Jesus, apparently!
开放麦之夜
嘉宾 圣文森特
就是他赐我的烂逼
He the nigga that gave me this broken-ass pussy!
听着 我保证耶稣没有针对你和
Okay, listen, I promise Jesus isn't conspiring
你的逼的阴谋
against you and your pussy.
-你今晚得出去 -不要
- You need to go out tonight. - No.
我带你出去 8点前准备好 拜
I'm taking you out. Be ready by 8:00. Bye.
等等
Wait...
伊萨 伊萨
Issa? Issa?
嗨 我很性感
Hi, I'm sexy.
我们走吧 你太棒了
Let's get outta here. You're super!
天啊 你是音乐制♥作♥人 你认识贝克吗
Oh, my God, you're a music producer. Do you know Beck?
我不做♥爱♥ 我♥操♥
I don't make love, I fuck.
你想要吃我的菜肉馅饼逼吗
You want some of this pussy pot pie?
啪啪啪啪啪
Pop, pop, pop! Prrrrr pop, pop!
菜肉馅饼
Pot pie!
你好啊 丹尼尔
Well, hello, Daniel.
不 你开错车道了
No, you drive on the wrong side of the street.
让我给你尝点帕尔玛干酪味玉洞
Let me sprinkle some pussy Parmesan on you.
棒
Awesome.
你饿了吗
You hungry?
嘿 老虎
Hey, tiger. Mm-hmm.
傻♥逼♥死了
No, that's so stupid.
喝一杯 喝 喝
Take a drink. Whoo! Shots, shots!
你到底要不要上我
You gonna take this nonny or not?
上我 上我
Take this nonny! Take it!
太强势了
It's too aggressive.
这身打扮是要去哪儿啊
Wow. What are you all dressed up for?
我要带莫莉出去玩
I'm taking Molly out tonight.
是去约会吗 我是不是该吃醋
On a date? Should I be jealous?
不是 她不太开心
Uh, no, she's just really upset
我想让她开心点
and I want to make her feel better.
她怎么了
What's wrong with her now?
她觉得自己永远都结不了婚
She doesn't think she'll ever get married.
也许她终于意识到了
She might be onto something.
别这么损 谈恋爱很艰难的
Don't be a dick. Dating is hard.
她不认真谈 当然难了
Not if she didn't take it so seriously.
而且她的标准简直太高
Plus her standards are way too high.
是啊 也许她该像我一样放低标准
Yeah, maybe she should lower them like I did.
等等 你说什么
Wait, what the fuck?
没什么 当我没说 不好意思
Never mind. Just forget it. I'm sorry.
不行 你那话什么意思
No. What's that supposed to mean?
我想说
It means sometimes
有时候我都不知道我们俩这是在干什么
I don't know what the fuck we're doing.
我们在一起了啊
We're together?
没错 可是以后呢
Yeah, but where are we going?
-就像现在这样吗 -宝贝
- Are we here? Is this it? - Babe.
以前也许我不知道 但现在我知道了
Because maybe I didn't know it before, but I know it now,
我不想这辈子就陪你坐在沙发上
and I don't wanna just sit on the couch with you
等待着奇迹发生
for the rest of my life and wait for something to happen.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
没人成天坐在沙发上
Nobody's just sitting on the couch.
我马上就要完成我的商业计划了
I'm almost done with my business plan.
我只是在让自己振作起来
You know, I'm just getting my shit together.
你这一振就振了四年 劳伦斯
You've been getting your shit together for four years, Lawrence.
我觉得我们这是浪费时间
I just feel like we're wasting our time.
我浪费不起
I don't have time to waste.
你什么意思
So what are you saying?
我意思是也许我们
I'm saying maybe we should
应该分开各自振作 看会怎么样
get our shit together separately and see what happens.
你要跟我分手吗
You wanna break up with me?
莫莉还在等我...
Molly's waiting on me. I'm...
莫莉
到哪了 我准备好了
我今晚住她家
gonna spend the night at her house.
-我们明天再说吧 -伊萨
- We can talk about this tomorrow. - Hey. Issa!
-再见 -小伊
- See you later. - Hey! Iss!
伊萨 我们怎么穿越回1997年了
Issa, why are we in 1997 Inglewood?
我哪知道 我从没来过这
Bitch, I don't know. I've never been here before.
但我听说这很不错
But I've heard really good things.
听谁说的 你那帮弱智高中同学吗
Nigga, from who, your middle-school Crips?
你先不要这么主观臆断 好吗
Will you stop being all judgmental, okay?
我也能带你去好莱坞找个满是混♥蛋♥
I could've taken you to some stuck-up Hollywood spot
高大上的酒吧 但我们都到这了
with a bunch of assholes, but we're here, okay?
今晚玩个尽兴吧
Let's have fun tonight.
行 但你要请我喝酒
Fine, but you are buying me a drink.
好啊 今晚让你喝个够
Okay. You're gonna have some drinks tonight.
醉死你个逼养的
You're gonna get so fucked up.
要烈酒
It's gonna be a strong drink.
-那你们到底分手了吗 -我觉得分了
- So, are y'all broken up or not? - I think so.
我说出了我的感受
You know, I told him how I felt,
他的最后一句话是 "你要跟我分手吗"
and his last words were, "You wanna break up with me?"
你怎么回答的
And you said?
我说晚上要去你家过夜
That I was spending the night at your house
分手的事回头再说
and that we'd talk about it later.
但我确定他肯定明白我的意思了
But I'm pretty sure he got the message.
意思就是 "她就是生气了 没啥事"
Yeah, and the message was, "She mad, we good."
得赶快帮你找个汉子
We need to find you somebody.
这里的汉子全是玉米头
Every dude in here got dry cornrows.
还是拉倒吧
That's a fact.
听着 目中无人的婊♥子♥
Listen, bougie bitch,
一半的汉子都很帅 好吗
half of these dudes are cute, okay?
-哪有 -什么
- Where? - What?
我们站他们身边去 好让他们注意到你
Let's just go stand by them so they notice you.
你什么时候这么喜欢夜场了
Since when did you become Party McPartisan?
以前都得靠拖才能把你拖出来
I usually have to drag your ass out.
-跟我来 -干什么 伊萨 要去哪
- Come on, over here. - What? Issa, where are we going?
老天
No. Jesus.
让我唱完 我没事
No, let me finish. I got it.
-扭起来 没错 -我不要
- Pop it. Yes. Yes. - I'm not doing this.
他来了 来了 来了
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.
美女们今晚玩得怎么样
How y'all ladies doing tonight?
很好
Good.
我叫杰瑞德
I'm Jered, by the way.
-莫莉 -很高兴认识你
- Molly. - Nice to meet you.
伊萨
Issa.
你们要上去表演吗
So, like, y'all performing? What's going on?
天 当然不会
Oh, my God, no.
我们没想到是这种派对