不安感

什么
bish... whaat?
这就是我的生活
That's my life.
能开吃了吗 我要饿死了
Can we eat? I'm hungry as fuck, okay?
你有吃过生肉吗
Have you ever tried, like, the raw meat?
不是指那个生肉[白人屌♥] 你懂我意思
Not that raw meat, but you know what I'm sayin'.
我是指食物
But, like, the food.
你还好吗
You okay?
嗯 今天是你生日
Yeah, girl. You know what, this is your birthday.
我不想喧宾夺主
I don't wanna make this about me. No.
别 怎么了
Girl, stop. What's going on?
感觉我做什么都没用 伊萨
It's, like, it doesn't matter what I do, Issa.
如果我对他们示好 他们就会觉得我太粘人
If I'm into them, then I'm too smothering.
如果我慢点来 给他们空间
If I take my time or try to give them space,
他们又会说 "我不知道你对我有好感"
"Oh, I didn't think you were into me."
好吧 那就直接开干 失去兴趣
Fine. Sex right away. Lose interest.
不着急上♥床♥ 失去兴趣
Wait to have sex. Lose interest.
如果完全不做♥爱♥ 我才不要
If I don't have sex at all... motherfucker, no!
我是个成年女性 这不是我要的
I'm a grown-ass woman. I did not sign up for that bullshit.
可能是你的逼坏了
I think your pussy's broken.
-什么 -真的 我有读过相关文章
- What? - No, I read about it.
很多人的逼都会坏
It's, like, pussies breaking everywhere.
我觉得你的逼很伤心 受够了
I think your pussy's sad. It's had enough.
要是它能说话的话 会让伤心的玛姬·辛普森呻♥吟♥
And if it could talk, it would make that sad Marge Simpson groan.
是的 那就是你的逼
Yes, that's it! That's your pussy!
你个混♥蛋♥ 去你的 伊萨
You're an asshole. Fuck you, Issa.
他们会把我们赶出去的
They're gonna kick us out this restaurant.
-两位准备好点餐了吗 -没
- Are you ladies ready? - Uh, no.
能给我们两分钟吗
Can you give us, like, two minutes?
-我们在 -好
- We're just, you know. - All right.
-几个小时内她都不会再来了 -谈论她的烂逼
- She not gonna come back for hours. - Her broke pussy talking.
烂逼在哪儿 选4号♥
Where's the broken pussy? Choose number four.
-谢谢请我吃饭 -客气什么
- Thanks for treating me, girl. - You know I got you.
你回家
Now, why don't you go home
找你男人好好爽一下
and get you some of that good birthday ass?
"劳伦斯 你好吗"
"Yes, Lawrence. How you doin' there?"
其实我在考虑和劳伦斯分手
Actually, I'm thinking about ending things with Lawrence.
什么 你说什么
I'm sorry, what was that?
你是没看见我刚才因为单身哭得梨花带雨吗
Did you not just see me crying tears of singleness in there?
不行 不行 今晚我们中必须有一人要做♥爱♥
No, no, no. One of us is having sex tonight.
我们俩什么都不做 没有任何激♥情♥
We don't do anything. Like, there's no excitement.
太过舒适了
It's just too comfortable.
慢着 你们在吵架吗
Okay, wait. Are you guys fighting or what?
没 我倒想呢
No, I wish.
有时候我宁愿他
Sometimes I wish he'd just
恼羞成怒修理我一番
slap the shit out of me out of angry passion.
不是真的 一点就行
Not really, but kinda.
所以你是个傻瓜 很好
So, you're an idiot. That's cool.
不是 真的 我开始反感他了
No, seriously. I'm starting to resent him.
我把整个20岁的年华都花在了
Like, I spent my entire 20s
一个和我不会有结果的人身上
with a dude that I'm not even gonna end up with.
你才29
Well, I mean, you're still 29.
还有1年
You got one more year.
-贱♥人♥ 你说得对 -我知道
- Bitch, you're right. - I know.
我没有时间浪费在这上面了
I don't have time for the bullshit anymore.
-你什么意思 -我今晚就和他分手
- Wait, what are you saying? - I'm breaking up with him tonight.
-贱♥人♥ 你不会的 -是的 我不会
- Bitch, no you're not. - Yeah, you're right I'm not.
-当然不会了 -我了解你
- 'Course I'm not. - I know you.
-生日快乐 亲爱的 -谢谢
- Hey. Happy birthday, babe. - Thank you.
你怎么没穿好衣服 节目10点开始 不是吗
Why aren't you dressed? The show starts at 10:00, right?
-我把采访搞砸了 -天啊 劳伦斯
- I bombed the interview. - Jeez, Lawrence.
我太紧张了
I... I just got nervous,
说了一堆胡话
and I started saying stuff that didn't make any sense.
没有说我能做出什么贡献
I didn't talk about anything I could bring to the table.
就一通乱说
I just spit words out.
肯定没那么糟啦
I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
我真的把口水吐在了他身上 知道吗
No, I literally spit on him, all right?
然后把咖啡洒了一桌
Then I spilled hot coffee all over his desk.
当我没说
Never mind, then.
对不起 把你生日毁了
Hey, I'm sorry for ruining your birthday.
我们能租部电影看
All right? But can we, you know, do a Redbox movie
待在家里吗
and just stay in?
我保证会补偿你的
I promise I'll make it up to you.
拜托
Come on, hmm?
谢了
All right, thanks.
让我看完这个视频 然后我们去711
Let me finish watching this video and then we can go to 7-Eleven.
你想要胸肌 想要腹肌
You want pecs? You want abs?
那就他妈的训练起来
It takes fucking discipline.
少找借口 埋头苦练
So stop making excuses and do it.
-走向成功 -光坐着
- Make it happen. - It's not gonna happen...
就别想成功了
by sittin' on your ass!
丹尼尔·金
生日快乐 想你
谢谢 我也想你
你想租什么电影
What did you want to rent?
你选吧
You know what, you pick.
我真希望我能跳出屏幕
I wish I could come through that screening
把你这懒鬼给揍一顿
pump the fuck out of your lazy ass.
这些可怜的小孩
And these poor, poor children
无比需要我们的指引
need our guidance more than anything.
他们完全意识不到
They were so intent on not acknowledging
他们每天需要面对的负担
the burdens that face them every day.
他们基本都在关心伊萨的感情生活
They focused mostly on Issa's love life,
不得不说这很能活跃气氛
which I have to say served as a great icebreaker.
托马斯·杰弗逊中学统计数据表明
Thomas Jefferson Middle School statistics state
40%的学生高中毕不了业
that 40% will not graduate high school
20%会成为少年父母
and 20% will become teen parents.
我们必须要介入
We absolutely have to intervene.
受过教育的黑人女性接受的教育越多
Educated black women are highly unlikely to get married
越不可能结婚
the more education they have.
好的一面 很多黑人女性专注于工作
On the bright side, many black women are work-focused
在事业中找到快乐
and find happiness in their careers.
但还有一小部分
But, then, there is a small percentage
可悲的女人什么都没有
of pathetic women who have neither.
她们没有目标
They are purposeless.
你错了
You're wrong!
她哪儿说错了 伊萨
What is she wrong about, Issa?
你觉得我们需要做什么去帮助这些孩子
What do you think we need to do to help these kids?
首先 别把他们当做同一个人对待
Well, stop treating them like they're all the same, for one.
他们已经受够了这种偏见了
They already get enough of that.
我觉得他们应该被允许去进行自我探索
I think these kids need permission to explore on their own.
好 那学习卫士还有什么用
Okay, well, where does We Got Y'all fit in?
对
Right, uh...
如果他们一直待在同一个破地方
nothing's gonna change for these kids
那他们不会有任何变化
if they're stuck in the same shitty place.
他们需要知道外面的世界更精彩
They need to know that there's more out there for them.
所以作为青年联络员 我想带头
So, as youth liaison, I want to take the lead
为孩子们在校外创建一个课程
on building a program for the kids outside of the school.
很好 和弗雷达合作
Great. Work with Frieda.
周一前给我一份提案
Have a proposal to me by Monday.
-好 肯和帕特里夏 -赞
- All right, Ken and Patricia... - Love it.
跟我说说圣佩德罗中学的情况
...tell me about San Pedro Middle School.
去年我们有黑人和白人学生
Last year, we had black and white.
哈桑
我们该抽空聚聚
我们不想在手册上花太多金钱 不过
We didn't want to spend a lot on the brochures, but...
-干得漂亮 -谢谢
- Good job. - Thanks.
我完全没想到
I just was not expecting it!
我走进去 首先他行为很古怪
I walk in, and, first of all, he was being shady.
整个晚上我都不知道什么情况
All night I had no idea what was going on.
-然后我进入房♥间 -大家好
- And I go into the house... - Hey, guys.
我错过什么了
What'd I miss?
莫莉 我订婚了 他昨晚求婚了
Molly, I got engaged. He proposed last night!
天啊