不安感

马利布是很棒
I mean, Malibu's nice,
只是学习卫士在这个社区
it's just We Got Y'all is in this community.
如果能向孩子们展示他们
It would just be great to show the kids
自家后院的美就再好不过了
that there's beauty in their own backyard.
-我觉得这是个好主意 -我也是
- I think that's a great idea. - Me, too!
虽然你没问我 我只是附议
Not that you asked. I'm just adding.
好吧
Okay.
丹尼尔
伊萨 拜托 给我回电
下一个话题
Moving on.
《渴望》
克里希·提根
"加入罗勒 煮一分钟"
Okay, "Add basil, cook for one minute."
我能搞定的
Can do, bitch.
你知道吗
Yo, you know what?
克里希·提根出了一本超棒的烹饪书
Chrissy Teigan has a dope-ass cookbook.
你在厨房♥吗 赶紧滚出来
Are you in the kitchen? Please get the fuck out.
我才不要
No, I will not.
我在给某人煮吃的
I'm cooking for somebody.
谁啊 那个黑人律师吗
Who, that lawyer nigga?
够了 这属于禁止讽刺地带吗
Okay, is this a shade-free zone?
-绝不可能 -你记得杰瑞德吗
- Never. - Okay, you remember Jared?
你真是太坏了
Are... you are the worst!
-我知道 -你不玩League了吗
- Girl, I know, right? - So, what happened with The League?
我受够上面的人了
Girl, I'm over them niggas.
资料介绍都很好看 实际却是一堆烂人
Like, they look good on paper, but they on some bullshit.
-所以你和杰瑞德在一起了 -我知道很不可思议
- So, you're with Jared now? - Girl, I know, right?
生活真的太有趣了
Life is a funny thing.
我在忙着煮吃的 所以不能详聊
I can't get into it while I'm sauteing and basting,
重点是我们谈了 他也接受我了
but the point is we talked, he checked me.
我们进行了一场很真诚的对话
I mean, we had a real honest conversation.
我喜欢我们可以互相分享 诚挚以待
I just like that we can just share and be real.
你和他上♥床♥了
Tsk, you fucked that nigga.
是的没错
Yes. Yes, I did.
但那不是重点
That is not the point!
这次不一样 真的很不一样
I mean, it was different. It just felt different.
好吧 真有你的
Well, okay, girl! Look at you.
-很爽是吗 -贱♥人♥
- Was it good? - Bitch!
我要挂了 他到了
Oh, wait, I gotta go. He's here.
拜拜
Bye.
谢谢你 克里希
Thank you, Chrissy!
-你在蓝色围裙上下单了吗 -专心点
- Have you tried Blue Apron? - Stay focused!
美国食材配送电商
下次我们要买♥♥两桶爆米花
Yo, next time, we're getting two popcorns.
-我都没怎么吃 -我没吃那么多好吗
- I barely ate any. - I did not eat that much.
没有吗 一个都没掉到你裙子上
No? None fell down your dress?
你看看
Wow! Look at all that.
那是在我们来之前就沾上了的
Those were there before we came.
我们进去看看吧
Hey, let's go in here for a sec.
干什么
For what?
我一直想打个鼻环
I've been thinking about getting a nose ring.
-圈状还是柱状的 -只要是金的就好
- Stud or hoop? - It don't matter as long as it's gold.
我能看看马眼型钻石搭配白金戒托的戒指吗
Uh, can I see a marquis cut with a platinum band?
他目标明确啊
The man knows what he wants.
你懂马眼型钻石吗
What you know about a marquis cut?
这组钻戒
The diamonds in this setting
都是半克拉至三克拉之间的
begin in a half carat and go up to three.
这个
Um, this one?
这个很好看
That's very nice.
谢谢
Thank you.
喜欢吗
Do you like that?
你喜欢吗
Do you like that?
喜欢吗
Like that?
你说什么
What?
我们能走了吗
Um, can we go?
-为什么 -我不太舒服
- What? Why? - I just don't feel good.
可能是看电影的时候吃了太多垃圾食品
I, um... I think I had too much junk at the movies.
-抱歉 -没关系
- Sorry. - That's okay.
没关系的
It's okay.
你在说谎 我可看不出你以前是个小胖子
You're lying! I cannot see you as a fat kid.
二哈 我妈说我胖得像只二哈
Husky. My mom said I was husky.
好吧 听起来你妈妈挺可爱的
Oh, okay. Your mom sounds like a lovely woman.
是的 她人很好
She is. She's nice.
我妈 天
Oh, my mom, oh, my gosh.
她对我特严
She was always on me.
还记得我读大一时
I remember my first year in college.
为了气她 我变得特别疯狂
I wilded out just to piss her off.
真的吗 我想听更多疯狂莫莉的故事
Really? I wanna hear more about this wild Molly.
还是不了吧
Uh, no. That's okay.
怎么了 你进少管所了吗
Nah. What? Did you go to juvie?
-你去贩毒了吗 -闭嘴好吗
- You were slanging that rock? - Shut up.
-没 只是干了些幼稚愚蠢的事而已 -好吧
- No. I just did young, dumb shit. - Okay.
也许我还睡了个大学教授
Like, I may or may not have slept with a college professor.
继续说
Okay. More, please.
天啊 好吧 好吧
Oh, my... no. Ugh, okay. Um, all right.
还是在大学期间 我在兄弟会和妹子搞过
Also in college, I made out with a girl at a frat party.
你看我一点都不生气
Mm, see, I'm not mad at that.
-你当然不会生气了 -还有什么
- Of course you're not. - Okay, what else?
好吧
Ugh, okay.
我在法学院的时候吸过可♥卡♥因♥
Um, I did coke for, like, a hot second in law school.
还戴了一个月的舌钉
And I also had my tongue pierced for, like, a month.
等一下 为什么只有我在说
But, wait, why am I the only one sharing?
你的黑历史呢 快说
No, where's your dirt? No, bring it.
好吧
Okay, um... oh.
我曾经在最佳西方酒店里裸奔
I ran naked through a Best Western one time.
我嗑了太多药
I was so fucking high.
说点有难度的好吗
Um, please come harder, okay?
好吧 我睡了我第一个领导
Oh, okay. I slept with my first boss.
-而且她当时已婚 -天啊
- And she was married. - Oh, shit!
-胖子小三啊 -是啊
- The husky home-wrecker. - Yeah.
他们就是这么叫我的
That's what they called me.
好吧 还有什么
Wow, okay. What else you got?
我二十岁的时候 有过和你差不多的性体验
When I was 20, I kind of had a sexual experience like yours.
什么意思
What you mean?
我之前和男人瞎搞过
I messed around with a guy before.
-等等 你做了什么 -很久之前的事了
- Wait, you did what? - I mean, it was, like, a long time ago.
当时我和我朋友在纽约参加聚会
My friend and I were at this party in New York,
都喝多了
both super drunk.
一起回到他住的地方 然后
Went back to his place and then, you know,
就自然而然地发生了
it just kind of happened.
发生了什么
Wh-what kind of happened?
他给我口♥交♥了
He went down on me.
所以你是双性恋吗
Oh, so you're, like, bi?
不 当然不是
No. No, definitely not.
我之前从没和男人做过
I mean, I had never done anything like this before
而且完事后我就知道这不适合我
and I knew afterwards it wasn't for me.
过了多久才知道
Oh, like... like, how long after, though?
立刻就知道了
Like, immediately.
好吧 什么时候立刻知道的
Okay, like, but immediately when?
是和那个男人的
And, like, was this, like, a one-time thing
一♥夜♥情♥吗
with this, like... this one guy?
还是说 和别的男人也有过一♥夜♥情♥
Or was it, like, a one-time thing with other guys or...?
莫莉 就一个男人 就一次
Molly, one guy, one time.
仅此而已
That's it.
好吧
Okay.
-我有好多问题想问 -我也是
- I have so many questions. - Shit, me, too!
-究竟做了几次 -他享受吗
- Okay, how many times? - Did he like it?
他射了吗 他们俩都射了吗
Okay, did he come? Did they both come?
凯丽 够了
Kelli, that's enough.
去你的 大家都想问
Shit, we're all thinking it!
宝贝 你不能继续和他约会了 他是同性恋
Sweetie, you can't keep dating him. He's gay.
因为只有同性恋才会干那种事 对吧
Because that totally makes him gay, right?
贱♥人♥ 大二那年